


Waking Up

by ElvenSister



Series: The Tale of The Grinning Elf [1]
Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Ethical Dilemmas, F/M, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Smut, Slow Build, Swearing, Tongue-in-cheek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:08:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 47
Words: 126,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4533744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvenSister/pseuds/ElvenSister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do you know the feeling when you wake up and have no idea where you are and what has happened? Ellana Lavellan does. It appeared that she had made it into a habit. Such a thing might require some serious reflection on one's choices in life, but, as it happens, the end of the world does not allow one the luxury of thinking things through. There are things to do, stuff to kill, and choices to make. One might as well enjoy the scenery while it lasts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introducing Ellana Lavellan

Ellana Lavellan was on her knees, cuffed. She had to admit to herself that she was a little disappointed. Going by the descriptions of the more… Adventurous members of the clan, she had assumed that if it were ever to occur that she found herself in a situation like this, it would involve a handsome, nude man, and a lot more fun. As things stood, there seemed to be little chance of fun and even less of handsome, nude men. The reality was a woman in armor and the probability of Ellana soon discovering life after death. Maybe there were handsome, nude men in the afterlife, so not a total bust, she thought.

It occurred to Ellana that she might be a bit woozy. It could not be normal to contemplate such matters when one was about to meet one’s end. Certainly there were more appropriate things to ponder during one’s last moment, were there not? She went through the list in her head. She felt she was good on the spiritual front as she had spent her whole life living by the faith in the Creators. Being a peaceable person by nature she had no strifes or on-going vendettas that needed amends to be made. She had no family to speak of and she was in good terms with her few friends. She had not accomplished all of her life goals, but, then again, who ever did? No one was so dependent on her that they would not survive without her. So all in all, she felt justified in fancying to see some naked men in the last hours of her life.

The weird green thing on her hand ached. Ellana would have rubbed it if she could. She had no idea what it was and how it had gotten there. She was under the impression that when you woke up and found something strange on your body, it was safe to assume it to be a tattoo. An embarrassing one, at that. But she had no recollection of drinking. Neither was there the trademark taste of cat piss that was usually expected in such situations. And she sure as hell would be smart enough to stay away from a tattoo artist who could accomplish such a feat. Even when she was completely hammered, which was hardly ever.

Ellana shook her head and refocused on the woman in armor. Why would she wear something like that? That tail was ridiculous… At this point she stopped her train of irrelevance and decided that she really must be woozy. The number of guards and the general atmosphere of despair and anger told her that this was very important. If they just wanted her dead, they could have killed her when she was unconscious. Unless it was “justice” they sought. In such cases people tended to want the accused to be aware of the punishment. Whatever it was, they wanted something from her, she thought. People always wanted something from her, although cuffing her to get it was a first.

“…Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now,” said the female warrior.

Many things went through Ellana’s mind. A lot of people had died while she survived. She understood that they were suspicious of her – she would be too. Sarcasm, her go-to defense mechanism, would not work here. Even though she was alright with dying, she preferred to delay her transferal to the afterlife a little longer. The nude guys would just have to wait.

“You think I’m responsible.” Stating the obvious, but it was the best she could do. She neither knew what had happened or how she had acquired the built-in green lantern about which the woman asked next. Another woman, one in rogue’s robes, stepped in and asked what she remembered. She offered the few scattered images she had, but they were not much to go on. They were not happy with her answers, but finally showed her what had got them all so hot and bothered. The sky was broken. And it had something to do with the green thing on her hand. So definitely not a tattoo.,,

The warrior, Cassandra, took Ellana outside and escorted her forwards. The mark on her hand burned. Ellana could easily believe Cassandra’s hypotheses that it would eventually kill her. Death by green lantern… That one Ellana had not seen coming. She would much prefer to go some other way. She promised Cassandra that she would help if she could. It seemed to her that a fucking hole in the sky was everyone’s problem, and if there was something she could do, she would do it willingly. Maybe then she would not be remembered as the one who got killed by her glowing hand, but as the one who did good while she was being killed by her glowing hand. That was infinitely better, she told herself.

When they passed, everyone stared at her. Ellana was used to the stares humans gave her, so it did not rattle her much. Though they seemed a lot more sinister than the ones she usually got. When a hole appeared in the sky, accompanied with a big boom and a dead leader of the largest religion on Thedas, people were eager to place blame. They were scared and grieved and needed someone to accuse; Ellana understood that. If it made them feel better and do something about the threat the Breach presented, she was willing to play the scapegoat. There were worse ways to help people cope with distress. Cassandra released her with the promise of a fair trial. Ellana was happy with that. A fair trial was more than many people got.

Traveling towards the forward camp turned out to be more difficult than Ellana would have assumed. The green thing on her hand kept aching and even forced her on her knees once. It really should have been on her ass, given the amount of trouble it gave her, she thought. ‘You are a pain in my hand’ certainly lacked gusto and would not be understood by anyone else.

Ellana was woken from her reverie when the two women ran into shades. Cassandra leapt at them and told Ellana to hang back. As if she would ever allow someone to defend her life and do nothing to help. She scanned the area quickly and spotted a ridiculously convenient staff lying about. It must be cursed or broken, she thought, but grabbed it anyhow. She would just have to deal with her fingers turning green and dropping off later. Except that it would probably happen because of the green mark, anyhow, so not to worry. She focused on the fight and burned one of the shades just as it was about to flank Cassandra. She kept zapping the other one while it attacked the warrior. Before long it fell.

“Drop the staff,” Cassandra told her, sword at the ready. Ellana acquiesced to placate her. Maybe the warrior was not aware of the fact that mages could do without a staff, or maybe she was just so shook up that she needed the reassurance of not seeing a weapon on the person who was suspected of blowing up the freaking sky. Cassandra re-evaluated her command and backtracked, said Ellana could keep the staff to defend herself. She was aware of the many dangers they were likely to meet. And oh, boy, were there those. 

For the first few fights Ellana had to keep a close eye on Cassandra’s style of combat. Once she got the hang of it, she did her best to support the warrior and cast her a decent barrier when she needed it the most. When not otherwise occupied, she burned the creatures that kept appearing. She had always found it kind of curious that spirits burned, but it seemed that everything burned – eventually. She knew how to cast ice and electricity, too, but fire had always come to her more easily.

They did not talk much on their trek. Cassandra seemed deep in thought, despair, or maybe determination, Ellana did not know, and did not know her well enough to hazard a guess. Obvious sounds of fighting grew louder and the women hastened to help. They came upon a group of soldiers who were trying to beat the hell out of demons that were, in their turn, trying to beat the hell out of them. It seemed that the living could use a hand, a staff, and any other help they could get, so Cassandra ran into the fray and Ellana begun casting. 

There seemed to be another mage somewhere around and about since the fighters had barriers. This freed Ellana to concentrate on the offensive and burn every spirit she could spot. Many where already sporting handsome arrows and clearly just waiting to be put down, or returned to the Beyond, or whatever it was that happened to spirits when they were expelled from the land of the living. Whatever it was, Ellana enabled many of them to find out.

When all the spirits were gone, someone grabbed Ellana’s marked hand and pointed it towards the small green scar in the sky. There was a connection that Ellana could feel throughout her body. Green light appeared between her hand and the rift and, after a moment, the rift disappeared. She looked in wonder at the person who had grabbed her hand. A handsome elven man looked back at her. 

“What did you do?” she asked him.

“I did nothing. The credit is yours,” he said. 

“So I can help.” Ellana was pleased.

“Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake – and it seems I was correct,” the elf continued.

“Meaning it could also close the Breach itself,” Cassandra said.

“Possibly,” the elf conceded, “It seems that you hold the key to our salvation.”

Ellana gave him the sarcastic eyebrow. Orlesian, was he? His accent was not one bit Orlesian, but to talk on the battlefield after a fight like you were writing a book? That fitted well with her image of the Orlesians. Maybe it was a scholarly trait. Or maybe he was translating from his first language, one that was overabundant with such imagery. That happened to her sometimes. Should she live long enough, she would ask him about it.

“Good to know! Here I thought we’d be ass-deep in demons forever,” added a new voice.  
Ellana turned towards the new speaker and saw a dwarf. With chest-hair and a really nice crossbow.

“Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong,” the dwarf introduced himself and winked at Cassandra who huffed.

“Are you with the Chantry or…?” Ellana asked, not quite believing it.

The male elf chuckled and enquired: “Was that a serious question?”

“Technically I am a prisoner, just like yourself,” Varric said.

“I brought you here to tell your story to the Divine. Clearly that is no longer necessary,” Cassandra clarified.

“Yet, here I am. Lucky for you, considering recent events.”

“It’s good to meet you Varric,” Ellana offered.

“You may reconsider that stance in time,” said the other elf.

“Aww. I’m sure we’ll become great friends in the valley, Chuckles,” Varric said.

“Absolutely not,” Cassandra cut in, “your help is appreciated, Varric, but...”

“Have you been in the valley lately, Seeker? Your soldiers aren’t in control any more. You need me,” Varric pointed out.

“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see you still live.”

Ellana turned her attention back to the elf standing next to her. She took note of the staff on his back, the broadness of said back, sharp features and intelligent eyes. Solas was clearly the other mage whose work Ellana had noticed earlier.

“He means: ‘I kept that mark from killing you while you slept’,” Varric translated. It warmed Ellana’s heart a little to know that someone, even someone unknown to her, had watched over her when she slept. Or was knocked out or whatever you call it when a magical explosion takes your lights out.

“You seem to know a great deal about it all,” Ellana said to Solas. 

“Like you, Solas is an apostate,” Cassandra explained. It was so needless that Ellana had to suppress her: ‘You don’t say.’ 

“Technically all mages are apostates now, Cassandra,” Solas commented, for which Ellana was secretly grateful. He continued, “My travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade, far beyond the experience of any Circle mage.” No wonder you call yourself Solas, Ellana thought. The mage clearly was not burdened with false modesty. Then again, it did not seem like he was boasting. It seemed closer to stating facts.

“I came to offer whatever help I can give with the Breach. If it is not closed, we are all doomed, regardless of origin,” Solas said. Ellana thoroughly approved of his attitude. 

“And what will you do once this is over?”

“One hopes those in power will remember who helped and who did not,” Solas answered, and continued, “Cassandra, you should know: The magic involved here is unlike any I have seen. Your prisoner is a mage, but I find it difficult to imagine any mage having such power.” 

“Understood,” Cassandra said. Ellana thought that the warrior sounded a little defeated. Cassandra continued, “We must get to the forward camp quickly.”

The four of them headed off towards the forward camp. Ellana did not know how well the others were acquainted, but they seemed on their ease enough for friendly (-ish) banter. Well, Varric anyway, and Solas somewhat. Cassandra did not come off as the type to enjoy joking when the sky was torn.

The road to forward camp was not without demons. The four of them managed to destroy them without trouble. During those fights Ellana kept an eye on Solas as much as she could. She was not trying to stalk the poor man, she just had the chance to meet other mages so seldom that she wished to take every advantage when she crossed paths with one. Especially with one who was as skilled and knowledgeable as Solas appeared to be. Appreciating his nice ass was just a side-benefit.

At the forward camp they found a calm Leliana being screamed at by a rebarbative man in Chantry fineries. When he saw Ellana, he pointed his finger at her and demanded that she be arrested and dragged to be judged. Cassandra was having none of it and got into a debate with the man. Ellana decided to stay out of it. The man looked the type that would not respond well to reason. Did he really think that there was something more important than fixing the hole in the sky? It would be pure idiocy to waste important resources and manpower on transferring her to some court for judgement when those people could be defeating demons and helping regular folk to survive the chaos. Such dummies did nothing to improve her notion of the Chantry. The Dalish were definitely not perfect but they at least understood survival, and – at times – common sense.

Leliana and Cassandra couldn’t agree on what path they should take to the ruins of the Temple of the Sacred Ashes, so they turned to Ellana. She was a little nonplussed at how she had gone from prisoner to the person making decision that could cost lives. It seemed that no one else was ready to make those decisions, maybe no one else wanted to be the scapegoat. Something had to be done so she made a choice. They headed towards the mountain pass where Leliana had earlier sent some of her crew. It would be worth it if they managed to save even one life.

They climbed many ladders and continued up the hill. The silence that fell was not the good kind, but the bad, depressed kind. Because of the unexpected and, frankly, insane role-reversal, Ellana found herself at the lead. As the ex tempore leader she felt responsible for working towards a better team. She believed that people were more likely to have each other’s backs in a fight if they knew each other a little beyond “Cassandra is a Seeker who likes to yell at stupid people and doesn’t smile”, “Varric talks a lot, shoots well, and has chest-hair you wouldn’t believe”, “Solas enjoys talking properly while casting and wearing undistinctive clothes”, and “the elf with the glowing hand keeps smiling like a maniac and looks as if she is completely out of the loop”.

“So Cassandra,” she began, “I have trouble placing your accent. Where are you from?”

“Nevarra,” came the curt reply.

“Aww, now you are just being modest, Seeker. What we have here, my magic-handed friend, is a genuine representative of Nevarran royalty,” Varric chimed in.

“Thank you for that, merchant prince Tethras.”

“Seriously?” Ellana glanced at them in disbelief and turned her gaze to Solas, “That would make you the last heir to the throne of Arlathan?”

Solas just sniggered, but managed to give the best ‘I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me’ look Ellana had ever seen.

“I’ll have to get a title just to talk to the three of you,” Ellana said and shook her head, “It’s a good thing the Dalish tend to look down on everyone. You being royalty means I might actually be able to look straight ahead and not strain my eyes. Andraste’s flaming ass!” She could practically hear the disapproval her comment had earned from Cassandra.

“Pardon my coarseness of expression. Common isn’t my first language which, strangely, makes it easier to swear in common. I mean no disrespect to your beliefs, regardless of the fact that I do not share them. I shall henceforth strive to confine my cursing within the limits of body parts and bodily functions,” Ellana said. After she heard Varric laugh, she continued, “That came out more sarcastic than I meant it to. Let me rephrase: when I’ll feel the need to curse, I’ll go with something else besides what you would consider blasphemy. Also, coarse humor being my defense mechanism, should we live, you will have to bear with it.”

Well, aren’t we getting along famously, Ellana thought. At least she seemed to have amused Varric and Solas while making Cassandra even less apt to like her. Two out of three wasn’t that bad.

“Varric, what brings you here of all places, at the end of the world? Vacation?”

Varric chuckled and begun the tale of how he had come to accompany the Seeker. It was a good story, some of which Ellana had heard before, since Merril was rather infamous among the Dalish. The story lasted through their track, only pausing for the fights they faced.

It turned out that the choice to take the mountain path had been a good one since they managed to save some of Leliana’s scouts. It warmed Ellana’s heart to know that she had succeeded in saving lives before the end of hers.

They arrived at the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes, where they met the rest of the troops that intended to close the Breach. While they traveled through the ruins, Ellana looked around. The place was like a nightmare, full of ash, corpses, horrors of all kinds. She could hardly believe that anyone had survived whatever happened here, let alone her. She stared at her glowing palm and fought the urge to scream, cry, and curse. What happened? Why? Why was she the only one who survived?

Ellana hadn’t realized that she had stopped. When her companions called to her, she took a long breath and hurried to catch them. She would not fall apart, not now, not when she could do something, anything, to help. She could have a nervous breakdown when she was dead.

When they neared the site of the big rift, there were strange voices. Before they could make much sense of them, they saw visions of some kind. They appeared to be about what happened before the explosion at the conclave. Solas said something about the Fade, but Ellana could not quite concentrate on his words while she tried to process what she saw. 

Evidently some red-eyes creep with a distractingly deep voice had been in the middle of sacrificing the Divine. Judging by the reactions of the other on-lookers, Ellana assumed that this wasn’t just how Andrastians rolled. She saw herself arriving in the nick of time to cut in on whatever was happening. Then, apparently, boom.

The visions caused a lot of speculation and questions that Ellana could not answer. She urged them to turn their attention towards closing the rift, and, hopefully, the Breach itself. Everyone seemed to agree. They prepared for an oncoming attack while Ellana used the mark to reopen the rift.

Once the rift was open, a pride demon popped out. Ellana had never seen one up close, which turned out to be a good thing. The spirit was a damn nuisance. Of course a pride demon would have whips, Ellana thought. Not being a fetishist herself, she had no appreciation for the electric things the demon kept slashing about. And that laugh, oh Creators, that laugh! At this point Ellana was so tired that she burst out laughing every time she heard the demon’s cliché evil laugh. If she ever went evil overlord, she would learn to laugh like that.

The fight was fierce and a little disorganized. They just kept going and tried to keep themselves, and, if possible, their allies alive. If they survived this, they would need a lot of practice in how to fight as a team, Ellana thought.

When they finally defeated the demon, its last burst of evil laughter ringing through the air, Ellana was spent. Regardless, she tottered to the rift and lifted her hand up. There was a connection which went on and on, draining all that she had left in her. Then she blacked out.


	2. The First Kill

Ellana woke up, again, in a strange place. And, again, she had no recollection of how she had got there. This really was becoming a habit of hers, which was a wee bit alarming. Many Dalish stories involved similar situations, but they usually included some sort of wizened wise man or talking woodland creature or even a rhyming tree to answer with riddles in order to point the hero towards destiny. All she got was a scared female elf, who dropped something, bowed to her rambling, and run away saying that Cassandra wanted to see her at once.

Ellana sighed and got up. She went around the little house and appreciated the fact that it was much nicer than the prison. She decided to go see what Cassandra wanted. When she stepped out of the house, she halted. What the… There were people standing in a formation, as if waiting for her to emerge. The scared elf had said that she had been out for three days. Had they been just standing there for that long? That was way creepy.

“Er, hello, nice to see you all, if you don’t mind, I will just get to know the… Environment a little and gather some herbs, you know how we Dalish are, always happy to see nature and all that…” Ellana stammered as she slipped behind the closest house. She actually did find some elfroots and other useful things, so it was not a complete lie.

Ellana was not very happy to step into the Chantry. She was pretty sure that the prison she had previously been in was under it. Also, she had no positive mental images of the whole institution. Then again, they hadn’t really done anything bad to her, if you didn’t count the recent imprisonment. So she had nothing to complain about.

At the back of the main hall, there was a room where Ellana found some old acquaintances. The old man who had been adamant about her need for execution was there. His name was Chancellor Roderick and he was at it again. He demanded her arrest the moment she stepped into the room. Cassandra and Leliana were arguing with the man about the next course of action. He was not pleased when they informed him that they would rebuild the Inquisition of old, whatever that was. Roderick left with a huff. After the women explained to Ellana what it was that they intended to do, she promised to help them anyway she could. It was the job of all to bring order to a world gone mad.

After the heavy talk, Ellana went out to get the lay of the land. Haven was a small village but it had anything you could need. It didn’t house an army yet, but there were the makings of one. She saw Varric and had a chat with him. She truly was growing to like the dwarf and appreciated his sense of humor. He also had a touch of gravity in him. It might have to do with the end times they were living, though Ellana suspected it had more to do with his life this far. She had heard the tale of the Champion and gathered that she had been important to Varric. Her rather recent fate must have touched him deeply. Ellana wished that she was still alive somewhere.

Ellana came across Solas, too. He was standing outside a house that she assumed to be his residence. They bantered a bit about her new-found fame as the champion of Andraste. She enquired about his curious habit of sleeping in battlefields and going deep into the Fade. It sounded truly fascinating. She wondered whether he would be willing to teach her how to do that. She made an attempt to flirt with him a little, but he seemed to completely miss her intent and offered a polite thank you.

When Ellana returned to the Chantry, she found two new people from the back room. After introductions they got straight to business. Ellana was not happy with being titled the herald of Andraste. It was ironic and did not sit well with her. She was not especially familiar with all of Andraste’s exploits, but because of the things she knew about the woman she was not particularly pleased to be seen as her representative. Andraste had fought wars and made people afraid of mages. Those were not accomplishments Ellana appreciated. But this she could not say beyond expressing her unease about being called the herald of Andraste.

As the others discussed the best course of action, Ellana spent a moment scrutinizing the new additions. Josephine seemed very civil, which was well for a person in her position. You needed polished manners and a lot of patience to deal with politicians. Ellana was happy that it wasn’t her job. She would hate to deal with meaningless chatter when lives were at stake. Plus, the dress was hideous. Cullen had a bit of a put-down look about him. Maybe it had been an effort to find the mutant-lion-bird that clearly had died to give him the lining to his cloak. Or maybe it was the ex-templar thing – with templars, you never knew.

The war council came to the conclusion that Ellana et al should go and find a Chantry mother called Giselle. Her last known location was near Redcliffe, so that is where Ellana, Cassandra, Varric, and Solas headed. Their surprisingly uneventful journey was spent in easy conversation, mostly between Varric and Ellana. Solas chimed in occasionally and Cassandra when she was addressed or had something to say. Traveling through forests and sleeping in tents made Ellana feel more comfortable than she had since waking up in the dungeon. Life on the move had a familiarity to it, even though the language was different and her companions still rather new and unknown. The journey had brought them closer, though, and enabled them to get to know each other better.

They met the forward-scouts of the Inquisition near Redcliffe. A scout called Harding gave the rundown to them – the situation was bad. Ellana listened with a scrunched brow to the description of how things had gone to hell even before the Breach. Mages and templars fought their war wherever they happened to be, regardless of the innocent bystanders who became casualties. After Harding had finished, Ellana cursed Anders out loud, though in elven. Solas hummed in agreement and Varric raised a brow. After refreshing their supplies, they headed down the hill, towards the assumed location of mother Giselle.

“Did I hear you mention Anders, or is that just an elven word I don’t know?” Varric asked.

“Well, given what has happened, I think ‘Anders’ ought to mean ‘unlimited lunacy’ in every language,” Ellana said, “though, yes, I did in fact curse Anders.”

“You’ve heard of him, then.”

“I doubt there’s anyone who has not heard of Anders, Varric. Even the backwards bushpeople, such as myself, have heard the stories. What about you, Solas, being a traveler youself?”

“Do I count among the backwards bushpeople?” Solas asked with a small smile.

“That is a matter of opinion, really. I should imagine it varies according to the one answering.”

“I see. Whether or not I am one of those people, I have heard of Anders.”

“Well,” said Varric, “I guess I should be happy about how many people have heard my stories. Although that is one story I’m not happy to have told.”

“I’m sorry, I know he was your friend,” Ellana said and gave him a gentle smile before continuing, “I just disapprove of what he did and why he did it. I have trouble understanding how anyone could think to fix something by starting a war.”

“He said that he thought the world already was at war. But I’m with you. Blondie was a good man, once, but living with the spirit of Justice inside him warped him, I guess. And Justice, too.”

“Spirit that is turned against its purpose becomes a demon,” Solas said.

“Is that so? Well, it seems that Fenris was right, after all,” Varric said.

“How so?” Ellana enquired. She remembered hearing about the Tevinter elf who was Hawke’s lover.

“He used to refer to Anders as an abomination and to Justice as a demon,” Varric explained, “No one liked what Anders had done to himself when he allowed Justice to move in, but Fenris may have been the only one to foresee Justice becoming Vengeance.”

“A wise man,” Solas said, to which Varric laughed.

“I wouldn’t go that far. Broody has his quirks and moments of brilliance,” he said.

“I suppose that is true for everyone,” Ellana said.

They continued in silence for a while. They encountered refugees and all sorts of destruction. Packs of wild animals attacked them a couple of times, but it caused them no trouble. Then they arrived in the middle of an on-going battle between mages and templars. Words of reason did nothing to appease the situation and, before they knew it, they were stuck between the groups, fighting both.

Ellana assumed a support-role in the battle. She cast barriers furiously and tried to control the field with ice and small shocks of electricity. She tried to knock the fighters out and keep them off her companions. She was succeeding pretty well until she spotted a templar right behind Solas, about to go for the kill. Solas was preoccupied with the mage that was giving Cassandra trouble. To save Solas’ life, there wasn’t time for anything but pure instinct. 

“Solas, watch out!” Ellana cried out and cast. Solas turned in time to have a fried templar-carcass in full armor fall on him. By the time he had gotten away Varric had dealt with the troublesome mage and Cassandra had finished off the templar that had been engaging her. They turned towards their leader to notice her white face and clenched fists.

“Go ahead, I need a minute,” Ellana said before anyone had the time to ask what was wrong. They gave her worried looks but moved on, anyway. Ellana made her way slowly to the templar she had killed. I killed him, she thought. This is the man I killed. I killed him. I killed a person. I took his life. I killed him.

Ellana lowered to her knees next to the man. That’s what he was. Not just an angry, misguided templar. A man. Someone’s son, someone’s friend, maybe someone’s husband, maybe even a father. Dead, because of Ellana.

“I am sorry,” she said with a small voice, “I am sorry that I took your life. May whoever you meet in the afterlife be merciful to you. I will do my best to do penance for my action. I will strive to do the good you never had the chance to do because of me. Do not worry about getting vengeance over me, for, I promise you, I will be judged and punished for this, in this life or the next. Go in peace.”

Ellana got up and started to walk after the others. As she walked, she said a silent prayer to the Creators. When she reached the rest of the group, she was composed and ready to carry on their mission.

They found mother Giselle exactly where they had expected to find her. She was helping the refugees which made Ellana respect her, even though she was not completely happy about what she had to say about the herald of Andraste. She did have useful advice and they invited her to join them at Haven, which she agreed to do.

The group decided to spend the rest of the day helping the refugees. They got them food and blankets. Ellana and Solas helped the healer, Cassandra did some heavy-lifting and clearing, and Varric kept their spirits up by telling stories. They returned to the camp when it was getting dark and went straight to bed since they had eaten with the refugees.

At least it seemed like they had gone straight to bed. Solas was still awake when he heard movement from Lavellan’s tent. He heard the sound of sliding tent cloth closely followed by silent footsteps that went away. He was concerned for her. She seemed to have had a strong reaction to the fight with mages and templars. Even though she soon went on as nothing had happened, there had been a tension and sadness to her all day. Those were regularly not found in the easy-going elf.

Solas waited quite a while for Lavellan to return, but she didn’t. Not that he doubted her skill to survive in the woods – she was Dalish, after all. But these woods were full of desperate people ready to kill on sight, and she was so upset that it might affect her ability to fend for herself. He realized he would not be able to sleep until she returned, so he got up, exited his tent, and went after her. Luckily he did not have to search for long. He found her sitting on a rock, all bunched-up, her head supported on her knees, hands hugging her legs. Her gaze was straight to the ground in front of her. He walked silently beside her and sat next to her.

“That was the first time you killed someone.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. She nodded all the same.

“Do you wish to discuss it?” Solas asked.

Lavellan raised her head and took a deep breath: “I believe that the life of every intelligent creature is sacred.”

Solas looked at her and waited for her to continue.

“Because it is sacred, I have no right to take it. I have no right to kill.”

“Not even in self-defense? Or in defense of someone else?”

“It is never right, even if the situation demands it. When I take a life, even the life of someone who is doing something wrong, who has been doing something wrong, I take away their chance to do something right. To make a change, to repent, to love,” she said and paused for a while before continuing, “Death comes to us all by natural means before long, there’s no need to force each other into his arms quicker.”

“You don’t think a mindless murderer deserves to die for his crimes?” Solas asked.

“I am not the one who should be making that judgment. In many ways, I am like him. I just proved that by killing a person today. I became a killer.” Lavellan saw that Solas was about to say something, but she gestured so he let her continue, “I am not naïve. Idealistic, yes, but not naïve. I know that in the days to come I will have to kill many people. I will do it, because it will be necessary. I will do it, because it has to be done. There are innocent people, suffering. There is chaos that will always result in casualties. The chaos needs to be organized and order created. It has to be done, but it doesn’t mean that killing will ever be right.”

They sat there for some time listening to the sounds of forest in night time, staring at the dark scenery and the few stars that gave their light on them. Solas studied Lavellan’s face from the corner of his eye. She had truly surprised him. This was not a conversation that he would have expected to have with the person who evidently saved his life. He would have expected “take that, you shem bastard”, “we showed them, didn’t we”, or “long live the Dalish”. It would appear that none of those was forthcoming.

“Realizing the necessity of taking lives, what will you do when the time comes? Will you be able to kill, or will you hesitate? And when you kill, will you let your guilt eat you alive?” Solas enquired.

Lavellan sighed and run a hand through her hair.

“Yes, I will be able to kill, if the situation demands it,” she said, “And if you have to do it, better to do it quickly and efficiently. I will always feel guilt for the lives I take. It would make me less of a person… Or less me, anyway, if I didn’t feel guilty. But you don’t have to worry about it eating me alive. Not that you would, “ she added hastily, “There’s no need for anyone to worry about me. I take care of myself. I do not let my feelings run my life – I prefer to live by reason. I acknowledge my guilt and move on.”

“I may not completely agree with you but I respect your resolve to live by sense. I wish more people aspired to do so,” Solas said, “You seem to believe in giving second chances. Does everyone really deserve a second chance?” He was rather curious of her answer.

“It’s not so much that they deserve it as they ought to be given one, regardless.”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t lose your ability to do good, if you do something terrible. Don’t you think that there should be a balance? Don’t you think that someone who has done something bad should have an opportunity to do something to atone for it?”

“What if they don’t feel guilty? What if they keep on doing bad things, over and over again?” Solas had seen that happen. Too many times.

“What if one day, after doing all those horrible things, they stop, look back, and feel all the guilt in one go? Shouldn’t they have the chance, even then, to try and atone, at least some of it?”

Solas shook his head slowly.

“You wish to believe that,” he said.

“I wish to believe it is not impossible, though, I admit it, highly unlikely,” Lavellan agreed, “I think that a person should have the chance to make things right, even one who has done something horrendous. For instance, we know that out there is probably someone who is responsible for the Breach and those thousands of lives that were lost in the explosion and that have been lost since,” Lavellan said and paused for a breath without noticing that Solas’ neck had stiffened a little, “I know it’s an extreme example, but I do believe that even that person should be given a chance to make things right, if they were willing.”

“And if they were not?”

“Then, in the end, it should be made certain that they would not hurt more people. But, as I said, they should be given the chance to atone, even if that takes a lot of work and time. Infinitely, I should imagine,” Lavellan said.

They sat in silence for a while, both deep in thought. 

“When I first consciously met you,” Lavellan begun, her humor making a slight reappearance, “you said that after this you hope that people in power will remember what was done and by whom.” Lavellan turned to him and he gave a small nod for her to go on. “I believe they will, for a time, at least. I have a feeling that the Inquisition, what we are building here, will be big. Whatever we accomplish or fail to accomplish will be remembered – unless the world ends, that is. History will judge us. Or the gods will, if we die. I believe that at the end there will be justice… That’s with a small j, not to be confused by Anders’ roomie.” Lavellan paused and continued with the air of finality, “That is what I believe, anyhow. With that in mind, I will do my best to live as well as I can and save as many lives as possible.”

“For what it is worth, I am thankful that you saved mine.” Solas smiled at Lavellan who smiled back at him. Well, that was a start, he thought.

“Shall we return to the camp? We should not cause worry to the others,” he said.

“Naah, they just think that we have gone to dance in the woods naked or something elfy like that.” 

“It’s elfy to dance in the woods naked?” Solas raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, I don’t make the stereotypes, I just take advantage of them with great mirth,” Lavellan said with a wink.

“I have noticed that,” Solas said, “In all my years I have never danced naked in the woods.”

“Is that right? Ah, well, we’ll have to do something about that, won’t we? It’s such an elfy experience, every elf should try it some time. Especially one, who is as interested in elven history as you are. But you’re right, let’s get back. No sense in depriving you of your beauty-sleep,” Lavellan said, got up, brushed her clothes for dirt, and headed towards the camp. Solas followed her and tried to control his smile. Once they reached the camp, they wished each other good night and disappeared into their own tents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it might be interesting to have an Inquisitor who is leaning towards pacifism.


	3. The Herald's Staff Has A Knob on The End

The following days and weeks made Ellana miss the scouts of her clan. She knew more than her share of orienteering in the woods, but the Hinterlands was a place to give her a headache. The area was huge and there was an abysmal amount of stuff to do from ridiculously irrelevant small-time errands to things that actually saved many lives. They could get nowhere without being attacked either by bandits, mercenaries, mages, templars, demons, or some sort of fauna with a death-wish. It was nigh impossible to keep on course for all the fights that lead to looting that lead to fights and looting and… They were assailed so many times that Ellana had almost checked a couple of times whether she was carrying a sign that said: “I do not wish to harm you. Attack me!”

Or maybe it was the staff. When they had – accidentally, by the way – stumbled into the camp of the rebel mages and killed everyone, Ellana had found the staff. It was a good staff, obviously better than the one she had been using so far. It was just that… What it looked like. It had been planned by an incredibly innocent mind or a particularly perverted one. She could see that it might be useful in close combat, it’s just that… It was a fucking staff that had a knob on the end!

When they had left the decently gloomy cave from which Ellana had picked the staff, the others noticed it, as well.

“That’s some staff, you’ve got there, Lavellan,” Varric said.

“Definitely an interesting design,” Solas affirmed.

Ellana gave him a look. She couldn’t be quite sure whether he was joking or not. She would bet on joking. Solas was more humorous than his appearance would suggest.

“Yes, well… It looks to be comparatively powerful and I guess it could be useful in a tight corner…” Ellana hesitated, “I mean… A hard hit on the head with that knob could most likely take down a man.”

“Many men would not like the taste of a knob, yes,” Varric commented.

“That schema, if I am not mistaken, is called ‘The Wrath of Lovias’,” Solas said.

“Familiar with it, are you, Chuckles?” Varric asked with a glint in his eye.

“I have come across similar ones,” Solas answered.

Ellana had trouble keeping a straight face and she decided it was not worth the trouble. She laughed heartily with Varric.

“You two are twelve,” Cassandra huffed.

“Seriously, though,” Ellana said, “talk about overcompensating. Just look at this thing! What sort of a nut puts such a head on a staff? Did he simply wish to hit people on the head with his wiener?”

“You are not going to forsake a perfectly good staff because of its phallic shape, are you?” Solas asked.

“No, I am not. I’m going to put it to good use. This bloody forest if crawling with idiots, who are just waiting to be hit on the head with my staff that has a knob on the end. I can’t let them down. Besides, I enjoy the thought of handing this over to you when I am done with it.”

As demonstrated by the quality of humor, Ellana was not the only one who was tired and whose patience was being worn thin by the Hinterlands. Neither Cassandra nor Varric appeared to enjoy the constant need to stop what they were doing to fight off some random enemies. Solas seemed to be made of self-control, but even he didn’t complain when they resolved to return to Haven in order to act on mother Giselle’s advice.

Haven welcomed them with bickering mages and templars and the ever-present sour face of Chancellor Roderick. Ellana was not a violent person but Roderick appearing in her way after a long time of camping and fighting… She came close to introducing his head to The Wrath of Lovias. Forcefully and repeatedly. The meeting with the advisers did not improve her mood. They were in favor of sending her and Cassandra on what looked like a fool’s errand. She so loved to talk to Chantry clerics…

They spent a few days in Haven, simply resting and recharging for their next trip. Ellana visited both Varric and Solas occasionally to chat about their interests and personal histories. Varric was very forthcoming but Solas preferred not to divulge much personal information. However, he was more than happy to tell about his research and the Fade. Ellana enjoyed listening to him talk about them. The subject was interesting and he was so into it that it was adorable, if such a word may be used about a grown man. She could understand his passion for studying. She had loved her lessons with the keeper, and the chance to dive into old books and legends. She would much rather be doing that than running around killing people and trying to hold off the end of the world.

Ellana made an effort to get to know Cassandra, too. She was a little more reclusive than her other two companions, which made it a bit of a challenge. Cassandra often trained her swordplay near the training ground of the Inquisition’s troops. That was where Ellana had a chance to chat with Cullen. He told her how he had come to join the Inquisition. He was surprisingly passionate for a former templar, though just as prudish as Ellana had expected them to be. It didn’t take more than a kind word and a smile to make the poor man blush and stammer. It was highly entertaining.

At the Chantry she ran into Minaeve, the mage who researched animals and all sorts of strange creatures. She was a Circle mage. When Ellana mentioned the Dalish, Minaeve practically spat and told that she was born of the Dalish. Her clan had abandoned her when her magic had manifested. She had been but a child when they left her and she would have perished if the templars had not found her and taken her in. Ellana told her she was sorry, though she couldn’t help but wonder if it had been better than being sold by her family to another clan that needed a mage-blood child. There were several reasons why she was not blind to the faults of the Dalish.

Another one who didn’t have any love for the Dalish was Solas. Ellana was fairly taken aback by his strong reaction to the subject since he usually was so calm and collected. She tried to find out why he was so hostile, but couldn’t get to the root of it. Evidently he felt that the Dalish were proud over being wrong and despised everyone else for no reason. She let him gently know that she did not blindly believe everything she had been told by the keeper. That made him calm a little.

Ellana had noticed during their travels that Solas spoke excellent elven. Regardless, he had never made an attempt to discuss with her in elven. She would have liked the chance to use her native tongue occasionally, but she did not wish to presume. Solas had his reasons for not addressing her in elven. Maybe they had to do with his hate-boner about the Dalish, she did not know. Whatever his motives, she decided to respect them and not push him on it. Not that she had a problem with using common. It was only that she had been using common so much that she already thought in common, which would probably greatly sadden her ancestors. Or the keeper, at least. Boohoo.

After sufficient rest, Ellana, Cassandra, Varric, and Solas headed off to Val Royeaux. Ellana was pleased with how well the journey went and how seldom they were attacked. She needed to kill practically nobody on their trip to the capital. It appeared that the fighting between mages and templars happened mainly in less populated areas which sucked for small-town folk but was good for everyone else. Ellana thought that it may have speeded the rulers to do more about the situation if the war was brought to their front yard. But no such luck.

When they approached the capital, Ellana grew uneasy. She was not looking forward to this. So far her meetings with Chantry representatives hadn’t gone well. Not that there had been many since the conclave, because – let’s face it – a considerable number of them had exploded. The ones remaining were even more wary of her than usual. And then there was Chancellor Roderick… He was not a person to warm anyone to anything besides contemplating the inevitability of violence.

Val Royeaux was a beautiful city. It was what appeared to be white marble that was ornately carved. Lots and lots of money had been sunk into it to make visitors take note, admire, and feel small. As if they were honored and privileged to be there, to see it. That’s basically what capitals were for, Ellana thought.

When they were at the gates, people who saw them gasped and made to flee.

“It seems that they know who we are,” Cassandra said.

“They are afraid of the blasphemous herald, the crazy elf who killed the Divine and has gathered a band of killers and demons to carry out dark deeds and blood-sacrifices and orgies,” Ellana explained in eldritch voice.

“Either that or it’s that staff,” Varric commented.

“The staff of perversity and dark deeds and blood-sacrifices and orgies,” Ellana said in the same voice.

“Good to know your to-do-list,” Varric said.

“Enrolment for the abovementioned activities is via Cullen,” Ellana said and winked. Varric laughed at the thought of having to discuss any of those with the Commander. It would be hilarious.

They ran into a scout of Leliana’s and heard about the situation in the city. They were expected, and not in a good way. Inside the square there was a crowd. That’s where they needed to go, apparently. Ellana was not fond of crowds, but recently she didn’t seem to get away from them. As Dalish, she had learned that a crowd of humans meant trouble. The “light the torches and grab your weapons to drive out the filthy knife-ears” sort of trouble. But there was no way out of it. This had to be seen through.

The representative of the clerics made a speech about how evil Ellana and the Inquisition evidently were. Ellana pointed out the threat the Breach represented, but it came to naught. The appearance of the templars threw her a little but not as much as what occurred. She recognized the fact that not all old people deserved respect but still, Lord Seeker Lucius’ action made her flinch. The aggressiveness of the templars and the way they handled the whole thing left her with a foul feeling. “Do not question,” one had said. Those words were never good.

“That went well,” Varric commented after the commotion had ended.

“Yes, splendidly. I’m thinking of inviting the clerics and the templars for tea,” Ellana answered.

“Please don’t. I detest the stuff,” Solas said.

“Really? I would have pegged you for a tea-drinker. You have the look,” Ellana said.

“What does a tea-drinker look like?” Varric enquired.

“You know. Sophisticated, intelligent, aloof. Like Solas.”

“Thank you?”

“Regardless, this deed is done. Such fun times. We might as well look around a little now that we are here,” Ellana said and headed to a store. Just as she was about to step inside, an arrow struck right next to her foot. She was not proud of it, but she jumped up a little and screamed. She heard Varric laughing at her jumpiness and decided to ignore it and the deep blush that was spreading on her face and neck. She turned her attention to the arrow and the message it carried.

“Friends of Red Jenny? I remember hearing about them,” Ellana said.

“Yeah, me too,” Varric said.

“What do they do?” Cassandra asked.

“Little stuff, mostly. No big stunts. What they want to do, they get it done,” Varric explained.

“That’s about as much as I have heard. They are really hush-hush about it.”

“Could they be useful? We already have spies,” Cassandra said.

“I’ll admit that I am curious about them. It can’t hurt to check it out, even if running around in search of clues seems juvenile. It might be worth the trouble and if nothing else, we get to do some sight-seeing,” Ellana said.

“It’s not as if everything we have done so far has been beyond ridiculous,” Solas commented.

“Good point,” Ellana conceded, the Hinterlands still fresh in her mind.

So, they searched for red things. On the way they recruited an agent for the Inquisition, bought a few useful things and got invited to meet Madame de Fer, the official enchanter to the Imperial court. When they were leaving to meet the friends of Red Jenny, the leader of the rebel mages came to talk to them. She invited them to visit Redcliffe where the rebel mages had made camp.

“It would seem that the mages are more willing to talk to us than the templars,” Ellana said as they headed towards the meeting with the friends of Red Jenny.

“Even so, I wouldn’t count the templars out yet,” Cassandra said.

“Are they always that aggressive?”

“Not in my experience,” the warrior answered, “But I think I can see why they are so brash. There is a war going. The Divine is dead, the Chantry has suffered. They are meant to keep people safe from magic, even mages themselves, but the recent situation could be seen as a failure in that mission. They need to regroup and come up with a plan to act.”

“I guess I see what you mean. I hope that’s what they are doing,” Ellana said.

They found the place indicated in the notes. They didn’t find friends of Red Jenny, though. What they did find was a grand-standing little man in funny clothes. He was monologuing like he was a supervillain, not some two-bit conman with too much time and too little morals, which looked to be closer to the truth. His rambles were disrupted by an arrow that ended his life.

In a matter of moments the Inquisition had a new member, Sera. Ellana almost laughed when she heard the distaste the woman showed at the herald being an elf. It was kind of sad that her elven group members had more against her being Dalish than the others did. Other than that, Sera was nothing like Solas. She talked the whole way to Madame de Fer’s mansion. She seemed to laugh to herself now and again about the breeches she had stolen from the guards of that funny little man. At least her aim was true and the friends of Red Jenny seemed useful, Ellana thought.

The others waited outside while Ellana went in to meet with Madame de Fer. She would have preferred Cassandra to do it instead of her, but it looked like she had somehow become the unofficial leader of the war effort against the Breach. That meant that it was she who had to go mingle with the Orlesian nobility. Yippee.

She made her way out of the foyer into the hall. A couple of the nobles were eager to chat with her. She was rather pleased with how she managed not to laugh at them when they said that they were bored with seeing always the same faces. They were wearing masks, for crying out loud! Identical masks, at that. They couldn’t see anyone’s face, except for hers, since she was not wearing a mask. Just take off those stupid masks and you’ll see many new faces, she thought. 

Ellana’s mouth operated on auto drive as she considered the Orlesian culture. She wondered if Orlesians wore masks at home. Was the mask about not letting anyone see their true feelings? Or about modesty? Did they think that your face was an intimate area not to be shown to anyone but close friends and family? Could they get married with a person without seeing his or her face before the wedding? Or even during their wedding night? Wasn’t that kind of kinky? How could you even be sure that the person you were with was your partner? How could you truly connect with someone without seeing their face? She would have to ask Leliana about the masks later, though she would probably not have the guts to include the questions about sex.

Ellana’s thoughts were interrupted by another man in funny clothes who felt like getting in a fight. Those just stacked up today, Ellana thought. She had no time to reply before the man was apprehended and reprimanded by Madame de Fer, Vivienne, herself. After that business was dealt with, Vivienne invited her for a chat. She told Ellana that she would like to join the Inquisition and offer any support within her power. Ellana could see the benefits of having someone with Vivienne’s experience and political clout in the team, so she readily accepted. Madame de Fer would meet them in Haven. Ellana and the others left ahead.

“That was more eventful than I expected,” Ellana said as they were sitting at the campfire in the evening.

“It’s never boring in Orlais,” Varric confirmed.

“Not if your novels are to be believed, anyway,” Ellana teased.

“You’ve read my novels? I’m surprised.”

“Some of them, yes. They are very entertaining, though not quite as entertaining as elven history.”

There was a strange noise that was followed by coughing. Everyone turned to look at Solas, who appeared to have inhaled the water he had been drinking. Ellana spent a moment hitting his back until he recovered.

“Are you alright?” Ellana asked.

“Yes, quite alright, thank you,” Solas said, “You think elven history is entertaining?”

“The lore, at least. Why, don’t you?”

“I fail to see the present situation of the elves very funny.”

Ellana gave him a sad smile.

“I don’t think it is good. But there’s a reason such a thing exists as tragic irony. There is some dark humor in how the Dalish think they are the last true elven, yet every other elf thinks they are dicks. And what comes to elven history – can you honestly tell me that in all your travels in the Fade you never saw anything that had any bit of humor in it? Have you never laughed when reading a scroll about the deeds of the Creators or the heroes of times gone past?”

“I see your point,” Solas said, “But I think that we ought to learn from history, not laugh at it.”

“Can’t we do both?” Ellana asked.

“You obviously can,” Solas admitted and smiled.

“You guys are boring,” Sera informed them and snorted, “All this elfy talk… Stupid shite. Historical elves were stupid, just look at where they landed, yeah? Let’s do something fun!”

“What sort of fun?” Ellana asked.

“You could tell about that pervy magic-stick you have. The minute I saw it I wanted to shoot at that ball. Can I?”

So it really was about the staff…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is a tribute to Terry Pratchett (if you aren't familiar with his work, I warmly recommend it). His wizards (and Nanny Ogg) sing "The wizard's staff has a knob on the end" whenever they are (more than usually) drunk.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and the kudos, I really appreciate it!


	4. Ellana Knows How to Deal with Wolves

The Inquisition needed horses. Desperately. So Ellana and the rest had to head back to the Hinterlands to complete the tasks horsemaster Dennet had given them. They had already built the watchtowers but they still needed to take care of the crazy wolves.

“It is not normal for a pack of wolves to be so aggressive,” Solas said, “It is possible that there is a demon involved.”

“Could there be someone, maybe a rebel mage, hiding in the lair? If you know what you are doing, a pack of wolves would provide perfect protection,” Ellana said.

“You can do that?” Varric asked.

“That would be vulgar and require a rather creative approach but, yes, it could be done,” Vivienne affirmed.

“Who is going to find out?” Ellana asked.

“I’ll do it. Give me some time,” Solas said and went into his tent.

“What’s he doin’?” Sera asked.

“Chuckles is taking a nap. What will we do?” Varric said.

“I need to write a report,” Cassandra said and went to find her writing materials.

“Target practice?” Ellana suggested, “I can cast and the two of you can shoot. Vivienne, would you like to join us?”

“No, thank you, my dear. I’ll find some other way to pass the time,” Vivienne said and stepped into her tent.

“Real stiff in the mud, that one,” Sera commented. Ellana silently agreed with her. She had no doubt about Vivienne’s capabilities as a mage and a politician but her attitude of superiority really rubbed Ellana the wrong way. She almost didn’t feel guilty about the amount of amusement she found in having the manor-bred lady traipsing with them in forests and whatnot where her majesty’s gown got dirty.

The three of them found a good place for the target practice and started. Ellana cast small amounts of ice that the archers took turns to shoot down.

“Come on, Lavellan, give us a challenge,” Varric goaded.

“Yeah, bring it!” Sera agreed.

Ellana gave them a wicked smile. She bowed her head, opened her hands, and threw her arms upwards. Now both of the archers had five goals to hit at once.

“That’s more like it,” Varric said after managing to shoot his own.

Ellana fadestepped away from them and cast another set of goals, now farther away. She also made small, stationary goals that were far enough to be a challenge.

“Go nuts,” she said. Sera and Varric were already comparing their hits and challenging each other. She smiled at them and went to see if she could help Cassandra with her report. Paperwork was a bitch but someone had to do it.

Cassandra and Ellana were just finishing their task when Solas reappeared.

“I was correct in assuming that the pack was plagued by a demon. There was no sign of anyone else interfering, so it should be enough to kill the demon. Sadly, that will probably require that will kill most of the wolves, also.”

“Thank you, Solas,” Ellana said and nodded.

“There is another matter. We need to cross the ravine in order to get to the lair. There is a rift that is significantly more powerful than any we have encountered so far. I would suggest preparing accordingly.”

“Thanks for the heads-up. Alright, fire power it is,” Ellana said. As the others looked at her in confusion, she explained, “I mean that literally – mages. Vivienne, Solas, Cassandra and I will take care of this. You two can continue your shoot-out. I will buy a drink to the winner when we hit Haven,” Ellana said to the rogues.

“Are you sure it’s wise to promise that?” Varric asked. “I have a very expensive taste.”

“Really? Then I must have completely misunderstood what sort of place it was where you used to hang out. The Hanged man, wasn’t it?” Ellana teased.

“Point taken.”

“Besides, I never have to worry about booze. I have a knack of finding it anywhere. A booze radar, if you will. Especially for the rare stuff.”

“Seriously?” Sera asked.

“Seriously. It’s strange.”

“My dear, as important as this conversation is, didn’t we have some demons to kill?” Vivienne asked.

“Yes, of course, sorry,” Ellana said, “Please, stack up on potions and any other things you might need. This will get hairy. Vivienne and I will concentrate on doing as much damage as we can. Cassandra, I need you to be the tank and keep the demons away from us. Solas, your focus will be support. So cast barriers and help whoever is in dire need of assistance. Does this work for everyone?” The others nodded and they headed towards the ravine.

The fight did get hairy, indeed. The first round went without trouble, since there were only two demons. The second round brought five. Big, annoying ones. 

Ellana had always hated despair demons. They screamed and flew about and vomited ice. The only good thing about them was that they burned well. She felt like doing that pride demon style evil laughter every time she managed to burn one. Maybe that was not wise, since they seemed to target her in return. She came close to being frozen alive several times, but that only made her angry.

Cassandra was working well as the tank but the greater terrors were giving her trouble. Solas had to revive her once, which required Ellana to draw the attention of the demons to herself for a while.

“Hey, tall, green, and gangly, taste this!” Ellana screamed and cast fire at the demons. They looked at her and went simultaneously underground.

“Bugger,” Ellana swore and made haste to be away from where they would probably resurface. She managed to dodge one, but the other got her. It took her a while to get up and get enough distance to cast properly. She froze it in place.

“Vivienne, let’s take care of this sucker!” They both cast furiously and let out a sigh of relief as the demon’s scattered remains returned to the rift. They helped Cassandra and Solas to dispense with the last one. When Ellana had closed the rift, she and Cassandra fell on the ground as Solas and Vivienne leaned heavily on their staves.

“Good work, everyone, and thank you. All of you probably saved my life at one point,” Ellana said, “And special thank you to you, Solas, for the warning. We would have been totally screwed if we hadn’t known what to expect.”

“I agree,” Cassandra said and shivered at the thought of what might have happened.

“How would you feel about a leisurely walk to the camp, a little rest, and then killing some wolves as a light, pre-dinner exercise?” Ellana suggested.

“As long as the wolves aren’t the dinner, that works for me,” Solas said.

The others nodded and they went back to the camp to see who was winning the archery contest.

“Who am I going to buy a drink to?” Ellana asked as they got to camp.

“That would be me, oh mighty herald of Andraste,” Varric said beaming and bowed.

“Don’t be so sure. I’m not that much behind,” Sera grumbled.

“You will shortly have an opportunity to breach that gap, Sera. The two of you are coming with me for a wolf/demon-hunt,” Ellana said and turned towards the others, “Cassandra, I think you have earned a break. Fellow mages, either of you ready for another trip? If not, we’ll manage.”

“I’ll come,” Solas said and got up.

“Are you sure you are up for it? You did spend an awful lot of mana and you have been traveling non-stop,” Ellana said.

“I spent less mana than you and you are going. I will be fine,” Solas assured.

“Alright, then. Let’s go.”

Sera scouted ahead followed closely by Varric while the mages brought the rear. Solas walked closer to Ellana and touched her shoulder to get her attention.

“I am touched that you worry for me, but it isn’t necessary. I know my limits,” he said.

“I understand. I’m sorry if I seemed patronizing,” Ellana responded.

“If that was patronizing, what does that make Vivienne?” Solas asked with a smile that reached his eyes.

“I’m not sure there’s a word for it. Not a polite one, anyway.”

It didn’t take them long to reach the lair. Neither did dispensing with the wolves and the demon that had caused them to get so riled up. 

Solas had kept an eye on Lavellan during the fight. He knew that she really had spent more mana than him when they closed the rift. She had been casting furiously even though she had hit the ground at least once. She had also been frozen several times. Regardless, she had always gotten up and continued like nothing had happened. When they fought the wolves, some aftereffects could be seen. She couldn’t cast as often and she had been careless enough to be surprised by a great, black wolf. She probably had some injuries she would heal once she got into her tent. He knew that she wouldn’t let him help.

“Furries are all dead. Let’s loot!” Sera yelled.

“Sounds good. Solas, would you take the herbs, Varric chests and ores, please. Sera, would you like to go up there,” Lavellan asked and pointed at the walkways above them.

“You can risk your life all you want, I ain’t goin’ up there,” Sera said.

“Alright, then you loot whatever else you can find,” Lavellan said and climbed up.

The rest were done before Lavellan.

“Do you want us to wait for you?” Varric hollered at her.

“Not unless you wish to join me.”

“That’s a definite no. Dwarfs don’t do heights.”

“That’s fine. I’ll meet you guys at the camp.”

The three of them walked back and sat around the campfire. Cassandra and Vivienne had already something cooking and, before long, everyone had a plate of broth in their hands.

“Where is the herald?” Cassandra asked.

“She wanted to search the lair in peace but she should be here by now,” Solas answered.

“Should someone go look for her?” Varric said.

“Nah, she’s one of those ‘real elves’. Little shites’re so full of themselves, but at least they’re good in the bushes, yeah?”

“Well, thank you, Sera, I like you, too.”

They turned towards the voice and saw Lavellan approach from the direction of the village.

“Did you actually get lost? One of the mighty Dalish? Alert the elders!” Varric sounded amused.

“No, I just needed some supplies from the village.”

“For the night?” Solas looked at her, unconvinced.

“The Dalish have a saying: ‘You never know what might happen in the aravel when it’s full moon’.”

“You’re so full of it,” Sera said.

“Prove me wrong,” Lavellan answered and headed towards her tent.

“Aren’t you going to eat? We have some broth,” Cassandra offered.

“In a bit. I have some… Er… Post-battle issues I need to tend to. Excuse me,” Lavellan said as she disappeared into her tent.

“Anyone see her knock herself on the head with that pervy stick?” Sera asked, “That was just weird. More than normal weird, I mean.”

“Normal weird?” Varric lifted an eyebrow at her.

“You know, her normal weird.”

“Maybe she was injured,” Solas suggested.

“On the head.”

Their discussion was cut short by a strange sound from Lavellan’s tent. It was a sad wail that continued in a series of whines and yips.

“Um, Lavellan, you want to come out here? We are a little worried about you,” Varric said.

“Fine,” was the answer.

When Lavellan came out of the tent, she was holding something. Something furry. As she sat down with them, it became evident that the furry thing was a wolf cub.

“This would be the part where you explain the wolf,” Varric said.

“I had searched the upper part of the lair and decided to take one last round of the space. In the back I heard a noise. This little guy,” Lavellan paused to pet the cub, “was there, all alone, in one of the grooves. I couldn’t just leave him there. We killed his whole family. He would have died by himself, he’s still so little.”

“Nature is cruel, my dear,” Vivienne commented.

“What are you going to do with him, then?” Cassandra asked.

“I’m going to keep him,” Lavellan said with a determined expression. She went back to her tent and returned with a bowl of milk. She took some on her finger and let the cub lick it.

“So you’re going to keep a wolf as a pet?” Varric shook his head and continued, “Wouldn’t it be easier to get a nug?”

“What would I do with a nug?” Lavellan seemed amused. “I can just see it know: the mighty herald and her nug, Sabretooth, riding to battle. I could throw my nug at the enemies. That would stun them. I could have a crest made displaying my fearsome nug.”

“Point taken,” Varric conceded.

“Sabretooth? Is that what you are going to call him?” Solas asked and took a sip of his drink.

“No. This little guy is Fen’Harel.”

There was, again, a strange sound followed by coughing. Solas really should learn not to drink when Lavellan was about to speak. Varric patted his back half-heartedly and laughed.

“Do you disapprove?” Lavellan looked a little sad.

“Not at all. I think it’s rather appropriate,” Solas hastened to answer and was rewarded with a bright smile that emboldened him to continue, “But do you think you have what it takes to tame Fen’Harel?”

Lavellan gave him the sarcastic eyebrow. She was good at that.

“He’s eating from my hand as we speak.”

“So it seems,” he agreed with a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate those emo (despair, pale, black clothes, hood) demons. I really do. If I can help it, they are the first to go every time.
> 
> I have no idea whether it would actually be possible to domesticate a wolf. But hey, fiction has no bounds, right? ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading, sorry for the errors in spelling and for Vivienne-dissing.


	5. Beam Us up, Maker!

Warden Blackwall seemed like a regular human hero. He had taught the hapless country folk to defend themselves and stood with them, when the time came. He saved Ellana’s life within moments of meeting her. In the reality before the Breach, Ellana’s reaction to such a heroic deed might have been within the lines of “oh, my hero, I want to have your hairy babies!” In the post-Breach world, she thought that it was good to run into someone who could fend for himself.

Blackwall’s information regarding the Wardens was not very helpful, but he wanted to join the Inquisition. Ellana was grateful for this. Because Cassandra had been their only warrior so har, she felt that they had needed to rely on her too much. Having a second warrior would give Cassandra time to rest once in a while.

As they traveled, Ellana pondered on what Blackwall had said about the Wardens. He admired the ideals of sacrifice and honor that the Wardens represented. “In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice,” as the motto said. She couldn’t deny that it was a good one. One that she could adopt. But honor in war? In Ellana’s opinion, that was a contradiction in terms, an oxymoron. There was no honor in war. Neither was there glory. Usually those talking of honor ended up doing stupid things at stupid times. There was no point in getting yourself killed over some misplaced ideal of warrior code. To sacrifice yourself to save someone else, that was all fine and dandy. But to die in order to protect your honor? That was pure idiocy.

“Is there still something that needs to be done here, or can we soon leave for someplace less exciting?” Varric asked.

“It’s the Hinterlands. There is always something to do, it seems,” Ellana said and sighed, “Though I am as fed up with this place as you. Tell you what: let’s roam around the edges to see if we missed something. Maybe we can set up one more camp and then return to Haven. Sound good?”

“Works for me,” Varric answered.

“Alright, then. Who wants to go beat random enemies and find useless knick-knacks?”

“Have you considered a career in motivational speaking?” Solas asked.

“Sounds like Solas wants to come. Anyone else? Blackwall? Sera?”

The two nodded in consent.

“Good. I’ll take Fen’Harel, too. It will do good for him to run around. Let’s go.”

They headed towards uncharted territory. Well, not exactly uncharted, since people did live there. But new for them. They were attacked every now and then. Ellana wondered whether this should surprise her or not. They had killed so many people here by now that it seemed akin to a miracle that there were still idiots who would attack them. And they never even ran away, which seemed odd to her. Her kill-count had already stacked up so high that she had lost track of it, even though she had told herself that she would not. Once in a while she would let herself feel all of it, but she couldn’t let the guilt consume her. She had responsibilities. It would be selfish to wallow in guilt when she could help to put things right and to do some good to atone for all the lives she had unwillingly taken.

Ellana’s attention was called from her dark thought by Fen’Harel. The cub looked to have found something of interest. In the bushes, there was the body of a young woman. Ellana crotched to look through her things and found a letter she stashed in the hopes of being able to give it to her loved-ones. One more victim of the senseless war.

“There’s a magical barrier.”

Ellana got up and walked up to Solas. He pointed at a nearby cave mouth.

“You’re right. I have no idea why anybody bothers with those. They take more time to make than to break. And it’s not like they keep people away – any mage can, and will, open them. Putting up a magical barrier is akin to an invitation: ‘look, here, I have something of value, please, come take it away from me’. I suggest we accept the invite.”

They walked to the cave and Ellana undid the barrier. It seemed that they had stumbled into the hiding-place of a rather powerful mage, though he provided no trouble to the four of them, even with his shade-buddies. As they looted the cave, a wide smile appeared on Ellana’s face and she chuckled to herself. As they exited the cave, Sera noticed it.

“Hey, what’s with the shit-eatin’ grin?”

Ellana turned to Solas who had walked behind the two women.

“Solas, I have a surprise for you.”

Ellana unfastened the Wrath of Lovias from her back and handed it with a bow to Solas.

“The staff with the knob on the end is now yours. Use it wisely and consider, when to use the knob and on whom.”

Solas looked a little bothered, but took the staff, anyway, as Sera laughed out loud and Blackwall fought a losing battle against doing the same. Ellana laughed with them as she fastened her new staff on her back.

“Now you will be the target of all that anger the people seem to have against one whose staff is bigger than theirs. I’ve had my fill. Good luck with that.”

“How long have you been planning that speech?” Solas asked.

“About as long as I’ve had that staff.”

“You need a hobby.”

“You are one to talk,” Ellana huffed, “Sera – have you ever seen Solas do anything but fight and study?”

“No. He’s even more boring than you.”

“I’m boring?” Ellana asked with an air of mock-offense.

“You’re such a goody-goody. You never have any fun.”

“Huh. I’ll put some thought into it.”

“That’s what I mean, innit? You don’t think about fun, you just do it,” Sera said.

“Is that so? By the way, you have a scorpion on your hair.”

Sera screamed and jumped. She threw her head back and forth and shook vigorously. Fen’Harel jumped around next to her and yipped excitedly at all the commotion. 

“Is it gone? Is it gone?”

Ellana laughed at the display.

“You were right, that was fun. More so than thinking about it.”

Sera stared at her in disbelief.

“You shite! I’ll get you for this!”

“What? I thought that pranks were right up your alley. I am sorry,” Ellana said and made an apologetic gesture with her hand, “Tell you what, you can mock me the rest of the day. How about that?”

“Fine,” the rogue grumbled.

In the afternoon, they spotted a tower. Inside it was a staircase that lead to a bridge and, eventually, a castle. Not just any castle. This castle was full of nut-jobs.

Ellana sighed. It was unavoidable that a hole in the sky would spring up groups such as this. According to speaker Anais, the cult had forsaken the Chant of Light in order to come into this random castle that had a rift in the backyard and prepare to be raptured by the Maker. They felt that they were the chosen ones. How they knew this, Ellana wasn’t sure.

Ellana fought hard to keep her feelings from showing on her face. Maybe they had unwittingly stumbled into a mental infirmary. Why were these people here? There was a fucking rift on their backyard for crying out loud! It was spewing demons, yet no one was doing anything about it. No one even had any weapons. They just went on and on about being ready when the Maker comes.

“Sodding, bloody twits with thumbs up their asses,” she muttered under her breath when they left the speaker in order to close the rift. The fight was brief but fierce. Ellana noticed that Solas seemed a little wearied. It was no wonder, she thought. He had been with her almost all the time. It wasn’t in his nature to ask for a rest, even when he looked like he needed it. Ellana saw him sidestep carelessly and wince. She burned the demon that was gunning for Solas and cursed her own stupidity for not having let him stay behind today. Vivienne could have come with them. In fact, it would have been amusing to hear her thoughts on the cultists. There’s no wisdom like hindsight.

When the rift was closed, speaker Anais was much more accommodating. She promised that the cult would help the refugees as much as was within their power. Ellana thanked her. At least they could do something useful. They parted from the speaker and she let out a breath.

“Right. Now we all need a rest and I could use a drink.”

“You really think these loonies have booze? Aren’t holier-than-thou choirboys usually drier than the Dead Wastes?” Sera snorted.

“Maybe it’s easier to wait for the end when you’re completely wasted?” Blackwall suggested.

“I’m sure there’s a bar,” Ellana said, “Booze radar, remember? In fact, the bar is right here.”

Ellana had found it at one go. Maybe ‘bar’ was a bit of an overstatement, but there were tables and there was booze, which was good enough for them. They were finally able to rest their legs, eat a little, and have a drink.

“They may be loonies, but this is some good shite,” Sera said after tasting her drink.

“Maybe it is a hallowed wine,” Solas suggested, “Only to be drank by the chosen of the Maker.”

“So that’s how you know you are amongst the chosen. Salvation by wine. I like it,” Ellana said.

“Wine is wine, as far as I’m concerned,” Blackwall stated and drank from his glass, “Sera’s right, mind you, this is good.”

Ellana nodded silently and petted Fen’Harel who sat on her lap. It had been a while since she’d had wine. It was a luxury seldom encountered among the Dalish. When there was some, it was usually evenly split with the mages left a little short. The clan was wary of seeing their inhibitions and self-control lowered. No one wanted to find out what mages would do when they were not fully masters of themselves.

“You guys rest here and look after Fen’Harel. I’ll go and have a look around,” Ellana said and got up.

It proved to be a successful trip. She came across the mage whose mother needed medicine. He promptly supplied her with the potion and instructions for making it. She also met a young nobleman who was asking after his love. It became apparent that his love was the dead young woman the group had found earlier. Ellana hated that she had to be the one to tell the guy that his girlfriend was dead. He seemed so heartbroken. Ellana really felt for him. She thought that having something useful to do could help him with his grief, so she suggested that he join the Inquisition. He acquiesced.

Ellana was walking on the yard when something caught her eye. She turned her full attention towards whatever it was. There was something on a wooden beam nearby. She decided to take a closer look. To do that, she needed to climb the nearest tower, step over the railing, and walk across the wooden beam. The thing that had caught Ellana’s attention proved to be a body. Going by the white hood and the look of the guy, she assumed that he had been an assassin. Who else would roam around wooden beams? Besides her, that is. What would an assassin want with these nut-cases? It seemed completely random, but at least the guy had good stuff.

“Lavellan, what are you doing?”

Ellana startled so that she almost fell, but was able to correct her balance. She turned to look at her teammates who stood on the yard.

“What does it look like? I’m beaming.”

“Do you have a flask we don’t know about? You can usually come up with wittier things than that,” Solas said.

“Please, come down,” Blackwall pleaded, “I feel ill just looking at you that high.”

“So sad, I was just about to ask the three of you to join me and Mr. Dead Assassin here.”

“There’s an assassin?” Solas sounded surprised.

“Well, he looks sneaky, he has a hood, and he has slumped on a beam. My money’s on assassin.”

“What would an assassin want with these people? It makes no sense,” Blackwall said, his back turned to the precarious elf.

“There are nobles here, yeah? Where you get nobles, you get assassins. The bastards are killin’ each other left and right. Good thing too, saves us the trouble,” Sera called out.

“You might be right. It doesn’t look like these people have much to steal,” Solas agreed.

“You been sneakin’ something sharper than wine? You just agreed with me,” Sera said and punched Solas on the shoulder.

“Or maybe this guy was just more eager than most to be ready when the Maker calls his chosen to the Golden City and decided to take a head-start. That doesn’t explain the arrows, though.”

Everyone looked at Sera.

“Wasn’t me!”

Ellana shrugged her shoulders, took a little time to compose herself and leaped down from the beam via the statue that was on the yard. The cultists, who had witnessed this, seemed unamused.

“Doesn’t the official policy of the Inquisition entail respecting others’ beliefs?” Solas enquired as they left the castle.

“Probably,” Ellana said, “I wouldn’t know, I’m just an abominable Dalish heretic. Besides – have you seen the size of the tome they needed to found Inquisition? I think my time is spent better here than hitting my head on the table while trying to read that thing.”

“I can hit your head with it, if you want,” Sera offered.

“Still sore about the scorpion-thing?”

“Not so much. Watching you almost drop from that beam made up for it. Plus, you found us booze.”

Ellana shook her head with a laugh.

“Happy to help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who is not familiar with "beam me up"... Should probably be. Here's a little something about it: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BeamMeUpScotty 
> 
> Have you found that body on the beam? Is it just me, or is that a reference to Assassin's Creed? Maybe it's just me.


	6. Evil, Bald Mage

”Chuckles, have you seen Lavellan?”

“No, master Tethras, I have not,” Solas answered, “Can I be of assistance?”

“It’s not important. This morning she asked to borrow one of my books, but now I can’t find her anywhere. I’ll just leave it at her house.”

“You haven’t seen her since this morning? That is unusual.”

“That’s what I thought. But there’s no way even she could have gotten in trouble here.”

“Are we talking about the same Lavellan?”

“You’re right,” Varric laughed, “Trouble seems to follow her around. Should we look for her? To check that she’s alright?”

“I can do it,” Solas said and held out his hand for the book Varric was carrying. After receiving it, he walked to Lavellan’s house. He knocked on the door and waited for a reply. Since none came, he went in. Unsurprisingly, neither Lavellan nor her cub was home. Solas left the book on her desk and went back out.

Haven was a small village in the middle of wide nowhere. Solas guessed that Lavellan had left the village. It made no sense to try to find her by wandering around. He decided to take the easier road. Well, easier for him, anyway. He returned to his small house, settled on the bed, and closed his eyes. He entered the Fade and concentrated on the magic on Lavellan’s hand. It was so effortless to find. Once he’d pinpointed her approximate location, he woke up, and went to look for her.

Solas walked on top of one of the little hills that surrounded Haven. Behind it was Lavellan, casting a statue of snow, with the wolf cub playing at her feet. Solas stopped to take a closer look at her work. The statue was clearly Lavellan. For some reason she had portrayed herself with an owl on her shoulder. The likeness was good, though it appeared that she did not see herself in quite as favorable a light as he did. She had accentuated her imperfections and the things that probably bothered her about her looks.

“May I join you?” Solas smiled as Lavellan jumped a little. She had been dead to the world, living in her art project.

“You can join me anytime, Solas,” Lavellan said and gave him a genuine smile. It warmed a little place inside of him.

“Varric and I were wondering where you had disappeared to all of a sudden. Knowing your affinity for trouble, we were growing worried. Of course, we should have guessed you would be doing this,” Solas said and gestured at the statue.

Lavellan blushed.

“Yes…” Lavellan looked down and hurried to explain, “It’s not that I’m self-obsessed or anything. I only thought that if I were caught, it would be less embarrassing to have a statue of myself than someone else. I may have been mistaken,” she added as she saw Solas’ grin.

“No, your premise was probably correct,” Solas conceded and grinned, “Think about the amount of jesting it would have spurred, had you made a statue of, say, Cullen, and then Sera had found you. Or Varric. Or Cullen himself.”

“You are having too much fun,” Lavellan grumbled.

“Isn’t ‘happy to help’ your catchphrase?”

The answer was a snowball to his chest.

“Fine, fine, peace,” Solas said with his arms in the air. He walked closer to Lavellan to get a better look at her work.

“Why the owl?”

“I can do an owl.”

If she meant what he thought she meant, that was interesting.

“This is good work, delicate casting. I take it that you have done this before?”

“Yes,” Lavellan admitted, “It has been a hobby of mine for quite a while. You were wrong, I do have hobbies.”

“How did you come up with it? I don’t remember coming across anyone who casts snowmen.”

“When I was young, my magic felt like a burden to me. My family had sold me to clan Lavellan that needed a mage-blood child,” Lavellan paused when she noticed that Solas’ expression had hardened at this, “There’s no point in crying about it now. I have done that enough during the years.”

“How could your family, any family, do such a thing?” Solas was a little more upset than he was comfortable with. He knew things like this happened. He knew people feared magic and locked mages away in towers. He knew that a Dalish clan could only have so many mages. Still… It was Lavellan.

“Trust me, I don’t understand or justify it any more than you do. But I have made my peace with it and moved on,” Lavellan said and touched his shoulder to soothe him. Solas took time to appreciate her gentle touch and nodded for her to continue.

“As I was saying, it wasn’t easy being the little mage who wasn’t even part of the clan. My magic felt like the curse the Andrastians claim it to be. The keeper noticed this. One day she sat me down. She told me to take the whole day to myself, to go somewhere, and to do something fun with my magic. Something I enjoyed. This,” Lavellan pointed at the snowman, “Was the first thing I came up with. I have been doing this ever since. When magic feels like a burden, or I am some other way depressed, I take a moment to remember that magic is a gift from the Creators. That it can do something beautiful.”

Solas nodded in understanding.

“Do you have something similar? A way, just for yourself, to enjoy magic?”

“Exploring the Fade is just that,” Solas answered, “I know of only few things that are better.”

“One day I’d like to find out what those things are. Until then, I’m happy with casting snow.”

Solas felt the blush creeping on his face and coughed a little. He was happy that Lavellan had turned back to her work before he had started acting like a young fool.

“What happened to make you seek refuge in your happy place?”

Lavellan gave him a questioning look.

“You said that you do this when you feel magic to be a burden or when you are depressed,” Solas explained, “What happened today to make you think that?”

“I had a critical error in judgment that made me talk with mother Giselle,” she answered.

“Mother Giselle?” Solas was surprised, “I thought that she wasn’t against magic.”

“She isn’t. She explained to me how much the Divine’s death has affected people. And she told me about the original Inquisition.”

“Ah.”

“I hadn’t really understood how big a deal the Divine’s death was. I understood that Cassandra and Leliana are broken. They were close to her, they were supposed to protect her. Now she is dead and both of them blame themselves. But I didn’t understand how much everyone else was affected.”

“As I understand it, the Divine is seen as the representative of Andraste. What she says, it has meaning more than the words of mere clergy. The Andrastians believe in an absent God who expects a lot from them. The Divine provides them with something tangible in an otherwise abstract religion. That she was slain… It shook the very foundations of the faith of many. Can there be a Maker who lets his own be murdered like this? They are afraid, Lavellan.”

“I am just beginning to grasp that. Not about the fear, that is obvious, but about the meaning of the Divine’s death.”

“I know you do not wish to hear this, but that is why they are so eager to turn to the herald of Andraste,” Solas said, giving her a kind smile, “The Divine is dead and there you are, the mysterious figure to help them just when they need it the most. You fill the void she left. You have become the representative of the absent Maker.”

“I want to scream and stomp my foot, but that wouldn’t do any good.” Lavellan looked tired and resigned.

“No, it wouldn’t. Neither would telling everyone that you are not the herald of Andraste.”

“I know, I’ve tried.”

“People see what they want to see. You know this.”

Lavellan nodded. She had lost all the good humor and enjoyment she’d had a moment ago. Solas cursed his own stupidity. Why had he made her explain the root of her depression? Of course that would make her sad again. He should have known better than this. What could he do to make her smile again?

Solas need not have worried. This was Lavellan. She did take care of herself, as she had told him before. Her scowl disappeared and made way for a devious grin. Solas had no time to react before another snowball hit him – this time, in the face. He let out a very inventive elven curse as he hastened to wipe the snow off his face.

“Oh, that’s a good one, I’ll have to remember that,” Lavellan gloated from a safe distance.

“Herald, you are a child,” Solas huffed. He checked her position from the corner of his eye while he made of show of wiping the snow away. When he deemed that she wasn’t looking, he fadestepped behind her and cast snow at her bare neck. Well, tried to, anyway. Lavellan had managed to cast a barrier in time to keep the snow away.

“Impressive,” he admitted, “Though not impressive enough.”

Just then Lavellan’s barrier faded and a sizeable snowball fell on her with such force that she dropped on her ass. She looked absolutely dumbfounded. Solas enjoyed it probably more than he should have.

“That was dirty!” Lavellan wailed as Solas laughed with tears in his eyes, “Just for that I’m telling Sera that you are good with your balls!” This, somehow, spurred him to laugh even harder.

“Modest, introverted academic, my ass,” Lavellan mumbled as she sat in the snow, the wolf cub licking her face.

“I never said I was any of those things,” Solas pointed out. He offered her a hand to pull her up and said, “Truce?”

“Truce.”

They began the walk back side by side, the cub running around them, chasing snowflakes. Solas had to admit that he was endearing, even though it still felt a little strange to call him Fen’Harel.

“He is quite taken with you,” Solas said, pointing at the cub.

Lavellan melted into a loving smile.

“He is, isn’t he? He’s such a little cutie.”

“With vicious teeth and a killer-instinct.”

“Hush, you,” Lavellan said and nudged him playfully. “Before long he will be protecting me from evil, bald mages, who use balls dirtily.”

“To quote Cassandra, ‘you are twelve’,” Solas said, “Besides, I won.”

“You cheated!”

“It’s called tactics, Lavellan.”

She gave him a murderous glance.

“I am this close to throwing another ball at you,” she said and indicated a very short distance, “But I will let it go, this time. When the time is ripe, I want a rematch.”

“That is fine. You will have time to prepare, though it will be of no use. I will destroy you.”

“See? Evil, bald mage.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just because.


	7. Fetish Fuel

”Welcome to the Storm Coast,” scout Harding said.

Ellana managed a smile, though it was difficult. The bloody rain was really getting to her. She had to maintain a barrier to keep the rain off them. Vivienne had little experience with magic like this, so they had agreed that she’ll keep herself dry while Ellana takes care of the others. It wasn’t like she hadn’t done it before. When the clan had traveled in bad weather, the three mages had succeeded in maintaining barriers for all of them. It simply meant that she was a little preoccupied.

“I suggest that we start with this Iron Bull character and then go looking for further trouble,” Vivienne said.

“I think that’s him and his group down the beach. Let’s be quick and efficient so that we get away from this blasted rain,” Lavellan said.

“Aren’t beaches supposed to be nice and sunny? You know, places for lounging about?” Varric mused and coughed.

“It’s not called ‘the Storm Coast’ for nothing,” Blackwall commented as they descended the hill.

When they hit the beach, they found a fight. It was already winding down when they got there, so they weren’t needed for long. They hadn’t really been needed at all. Ellana recognized the soldier who had told her about their company and walked his way. He was giving a post-battle report to the huge Qunari who had to be Iron Bull.

“Iron Bull, I presume,” Ellana said as she walked towards the guy. Up close, he looked even bigger. A mountain of a man. As they talked about his company and the possibility of them joining the Inquisition, she thought that he would be very useful in a fight. Damn, she could just hide behind his back and cast, carefree.

Before long they shook on it. The Inquisition had required a mercenary company and Ellana’s team a fierce warrior who was also a self-proclaimed Qunari spy. The word ‘normal’ had lost all meaning to Ellana after the conclave.

“Alright. Now we can go find out what has happened to our missing scouts. Blackwall, why don’t you go back to the camp and have a decent rest? You have earned it. Try not to get too wet on the way,” Ellana said with a mirthless smile.

Blackwall nodded and left for the camp. Ellana extended the barrier on Iron Bull. He looked at her curiously, but didn’t comment.

“Do you guys want to continue on this sordid beach or climb a hill?” Ellana enquired, “The woods will probably offer some protection from the wind.”

“Let’s hope so,” Varric said, “I vote up.”

“Vivienne, Iron Bull?”

“Works for me,” came Bull’s reply.

“Whatever you wish, my dear.”

They found a path and began climbing. The rocks were slippery and the ground gave away often. Ellana was happy that her clan had steered clear of this place. The constant rain and howling wind were not something she wished to get used to. Even though the barrier kept her from getting wet, she was cold and closing in on miserable.

“So, you are the famed herald of Andraste,” Iron Bull’s voice came from her side. He was taking in her appearance as they walked.

“Yes, that would be me. Also known as ‘that crazy elf’, ‘the heathen knife-ear’, ‘that daft Dalish’, ‘that damned bitch’, ‘the Maker-forsaken savage’… Were there any more? I may have forgotten some.”

“Magical fool,” supplied Varric.

“Political maelstrom,” added Vivienne.

“All of the above.”

Bull looked amused.

“You don’t seem overly troubled by it,” he observed.

“Considering there’s a sodding hole in the sky, I have more important stuff to do than cry over being called names.”

“Makes sense. What’s with the wolf?” Bull nodded towards Fen’Harel, who was bouncing around them, unbothered by the weather.

“That’s Fen’Harel,” Ellana said and looked at the cub adoringly, “We had to kill his entire pack because they had been plagued by a demon. He was the only one left. I didn’t have the heart to kill him, so I conscripted him for the Inquisition.”

“Right. He might be a valuable ally one day. Good going with the name, by the way. Your enemies will shit their pants when they hear that the herald of Andraste and the Dread Wolf are coming after them.”

“You think so?”

“You kidding me? ‘Dread Wolf’ sounds badass enough without knowing anything about the elven gods. And if you know about them, it sounds as if the wrath of two different deities is descending upon them. Badass,” Bull repeated, sounding appreciative.

Ellana laughed.

“I never looked at it that way. Maybe my title is good for something, after all.”

“Definitely. Besides, it’s kind of hot.”

“Wait, what?” Ellana looked at him in disbelief. She heard Varric chuckle in the back.

“No one told you that before? Huh.”

“No. People mostly find it funny, appropriate, insulting, impressive, or something else along those lines.”

“I bet there are tons of people out there fantasizing about the herald of Andraste. It’s the perfect blend of repressed Chantry sister, powerful leader, and dangerous, yet intriguing mystery-woman.”

“He’s probably right, Lavellan,” Varric concurred, “That’s fetish fuel.”

“I have no idea what to do with that,” Ellana said.

“It comes with the office, my dear,” Vivienne said in a comforting tone.

Ellana shook her head. She was happy that they had reached the top of the hill, which made the conversation cease. They found some mercenaries that were quickly defeated. She kept an eye on Bull. He was a truly impressive sight on the battlefield. Not only was his sword big – he knew how to use it, too.

The mercenaries, the Blades of Hessarian, had information about their stronghold. It appeared that their leader could be challenged, and, if defeated, the winner would be the one giving orders. This suited Ellana, since it looked to be the approach that would spare the most lives. If the Inquisition won, the mercenaries would leave the scouts alone and maybe even help.

Challenging the leader of the Blades of Hessarian had seemed like a good idea – until Ellana was standing in front of the man, looking up, up, up. He was as tall as Bull. But there was no going back, so she issued the challenge and offered a silent prayer to the Creators that they would save her heinie.

The Creators magnanimously complied, though the fight wasn’t easy. The leader of the Blades of Hessarian had armored war-hounds that appeared from nowhere when the fight began. Ellana had to concentrate on keeping her people alive while the others did damage. One of the dogs knocked her down and was about to go for her throat when it was slammed away by Bull. Ellana yelled a quick thank you and hastened to refresh the barriers.

Vivienne was also having trouble with one the dogs. It kept coming closer and closer while she tried to cast and retreat at the same time. This ended up with her tripping down. Ellana could see the pain flash on her face. Ellana burned the hound so badly it yelped in pain. She and Varric attacked it until it lay on the ground dead with the rest of the foes.

Ellana hurried to Vivienne’s side in order to determine the state of her injuries. Vivienne had already gotten up and reassured Ellana that it was nothing serious, just a sprained ankle. It would be fine with health potion and rest, maybe with the help of a dressing. Ellana applied one while she discussed how the Blades of Hessarian could aid the Inquisition. Even the mercenaries themselves were not saddened by the death of their leader and were happy to be of assistance to the herald of Andraste. Figures, Ellana thought. Maybe there was some truth in what Bull had said, though she preferred not to dwell on it.

They left the mercenary stronghold at a leisurely pace. Vivienne was still limping a little and all of them were soaked through, since Ellana hadn’t been able keep the barrier up throughout the fight. Survival had to be prioritized above protecting your clothes from rain.

“Blasted bugger, I am soaked,” Ellana swore and waved her arms in frustration.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Bull said in a low voice.

Ellana looked at his grin and started laughing, she was that tired. Her laugh was so genuine that the others couldn’t help but join in, even Vivienne and Fen’Harel. As the laughter was dying down, they found a place that was suitable for a camp.

“I say we camp here,” Ellana said.

“Fine, but what will we do with that?”

Ellana looked at the direction indicated by Varric. There was a mighty battle afoot, a giant against a dragon.

“Place bets?” Ellana suggested.

“No way one giant could take down a dragon,” Bull huffed, “Let’s just see what happens.”

The fight went on for a while, until the dragon flew away, leaving the giant behind.

“A wounded giant could be dangerous,” Varric pointed out.

“I agree. We should take care of it before more people get here,” Ellana stated and grabbed her staff, “Vivienne, you sit this one out. We can manage one giant between the three of us. This one doesn’t have three war-hounds with it like the previous one.”

“If you say so, my dear,” came the reply.

Ellana found fighting the giant to be a little annoying. You could freeze it, but that didn’t slow it down. You had to be careful of the huge stones it kept hurling with surprising precision. And if you went too close, you ran the risk of being beaten or crushed underneath it. Ellana felt a shiver run through her. To be crushed under a giant’s ass? That’s a bad way to go. It almost happened to Bull, but he just barely succeeded in dodging the giant ass that landed where he had been a moment earlier. In the end, the giant laid dead on the beach.

“I’m glad that I don’t have to write to the Ben-Hassrath that their spy was killed by a giant’s ass.”

“It takes more than a giant ass to kill me, though many have tried,” Bull replied.

“And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what we in the Inquisition call ‘a normal conversation’,” Varric sighed and addressed his next words to Bull, “You’ll fit right in.”

“We should set up that camp now,” Ellana said as they returned to Vivienne.

“How are we going to signal the others? We don’t have a carrier pigeon and I don’t feel like walking all the way back just yet,” Varric said and sat down next to Vivienne, “We could flip a coin.”

“I’m good to go,” Bull offered.

“Nah, I’ll be faster,” Ellana said and looked around, “I need some place to jump from, but this beach is as dull as Chancellor Roderick’s wit.”

Ellana’s gaze roamed around the beach until it hit Bull and stayed on him.

“Um, Bull, would you mind terribly if a climbed on your shoulders?”

“I knew it. Everyone wants to ride the Bull,” he answered with a smirk, “Hop on.”

Bull got on one knee and helped Ellana on his shoulders. Then he took a firm grip of her ankles and got up.

“Thank you. Please, look after Fen’Harel while I am away. You can let go of my ankles now.”

As the grip disappeared, Ellana took a breath and jumped up. In the air, she turned into a white owl and flew away.

“Did you know she could do that?” Varric asked, stunned.

“I had no idea,” Vivienne answered.

“Hot,” Bull stated as he looked at the effortless flight of the owl.

\--

The Inquisition camp was quiet. People were mostly huddled in the tents, waiting for news from the herald and her group. Cassandra was trying to write yet another report while Blackwall and Sera were swopping stories. Solas had spent most of the day traveling the Fade and looking at the memories of the Storm Coast. Most of the notable events were shipwrecks, which made the history of the place as depressing as its weather was.

Solas cast himself a barrier and went outside to stretch his legs. Neither the howling wind nor the freezing rain had subsided all day. He felt bad for Lavellan and the others who’d had to stay in the dreadful weather all day long.

As he took in the surroundings, he spotted a white owl that was nearing the camp. He thought it was odd, since owls were nocturnal creatures. Unless…

The owl decelerated and perched on a nearby branch. Solas approached it carefully. It looked at him, but didn’t fly away. Solas decided to go for broke. Either he was right or he was the crazy apostate elf, who spoke to woodland creatures. According to Lavellan, that was expected of them.

“Good to see you are alright, Lavellan.”

The owl turned its head almost a full circle. Then it jumped off the branch and turned into Lavellan before hitting the ground.

“I guess I shouldn’t include unpredictability in my list of character traits,” she said.

“You did tell me that you could do an owl,” Solas pointed out.

“I did, didn’t I?” Lavellan sighed, “It’s just like me to spoil my own surprise. I would make a terrible rogue.”

“You are probably correct,” Solas admitted and walked to the water container. Spending so much time in the Fade had made him thirsty. When he had a drink in his hand, he noticed that Lavellan looked a little crestfallen.

“You do make a good mage, though,” he added and made her smile. Satisfied, he took a drink.

“Well, even if I didn’t, at least I can be a sex symbol.”

Solas ended up coughing out his drink, again. Did she wait for him to do this? Did she plan this?

“That’s a novel point of view,” he managed to say in between coughs.

“I thought so. Our newest recruit, Iron Bull, enlightened me about it.”

“He is the Qunari?”

“Yes. A Qunari spy, to be precise. He is practically a giant. You should see the size of his sword.”

Solas considered it best to let that one slide. And to put his drink down until they were done with this particular conversation.

“Anyway,” Lavellan continued, “He told me that a multitude of people want to bang the herald of Andraste. Evidently the title is fetish fuel.”

“Indeed?”

“Apparently so. I don’t understand it, but that’s nothing new. The Dalish ideals for what is sexy seem to be different from those of the rest of the world.”

“It sounds like you’ve had an interesting day,” Solas commented.

“That’s true,” Lavellan admitted, “Did you find anything interesting in the Fade?”

Solas looked at her, surprised.

“Oh, come on, I am not the only predictable one.”

“I concede to being somewhat predictable. And no, I did not find anything particularly interesting. By all accounts your day was much more exciting.”

“See? It pays to hang out with the famed herald of Andraste, sex symbol extraordinaire.”


	8. Honesty Is The Best Policy

The tavern of Haven was small. On this particular night it had the fortune, or misfortune, of being attended by Ellana’s team. It would be good for them to simply hang out without killing anything or anyone, Ellana thought. Not that it had been easy to achieve this. It had taken all of Ellana’s skill in diplomacy, bribing, and extortion to get them all to come to the tavern for a bit.

They’d had to push two of the tavern’s few tables together to get enough space for everyone. After all, they were numerous and Bull alone took more room than, say, Solas and Vivienne, even with her hat. Some shuffling had been required, but everyone had finally found a seat.

“Welcome!” Ellana said, “I am happy that you were all able to come here tonight. All of us have worked hard these past few months. Even though there’s still much to do, I think it’s important that we take some time to relax together once in a while. That is what tonight is about. Without further ado – enjoy your night. The first round is on me.”

The promise of free booze was received with cheers.

“Lavellan, don’t forget that you still owe me a drink for beating Sera,” Varric reminded.

“Piss off! You didn’t beat me, I slipped,” Sera hit her left fist on the table and pointed her right index finger at Varric, “I want a do-over.”

“Anytime,” promised Varric, “I enjoy the free booze.”

“Have enough of that and I will beat you at shooting,” Blackwall said.

“I was not aware that you can handle a bow, Warden,” Solas stated.

“I can’t. But if Varric’s as drunk as a skunk, I can certainly shoot better than him.”

“I don’t know,” said Bull, “I’ve seen what he can do with that thing. It’s fucking art.”

“’That thing’? That’s insulting. This, my horned friend, is Bianca,” Varric said as he took his bow and made a show of presenting it to Bull.

“Bianca, you say? Can I touch her?”

“Sorry, I’m the only one allowed to do that. She’s very picky about being handled.”

“So, you’re the only one who can finger her? I bet I could change her mind, I have a magical touch, or so I’ve been told,” Bull said and winked at Ellana.

Sera gave a dirty laugh.

“Bull’s always horny,” she said, “Get it? ‘Coz he has horns.”

“Please, people,” Cassandra huffed, “Can we dispense with dirty talk until later? I am still too sober to listen to that.”

“Do you feel left out, pretty lady?” Bull asked, “I can talk dirty to you anytime you want.”

Cassandra grunted and took a big gulp from her glass.

“Cards, anyone?” Ellana suggested.

“Sure, I have a deck right here,” Varric said and whipped one out from his pocket.

Varric dealt everyone in for Diamondback. They played a few games drinking and exchanging friendly banter.

“Ugh, this ain’t fun anymore,” Sera snorted, “What with the mages hoardin’ all the money.”

“I have to say, Vivienne, I am impressed,” Ellana admitted, “I would not have pegged you as one who enjoys playing cards.”

“If you bother to do something, you should do it well,” Vivienne replied as she collected her winnings. “My compliments to you, Solas. You are quite a formidable opponent.”

“Thank you. As are you.”

“It’s the stone face,” Varric explained, “You never know what he’s planning. Let’s just hope that success in games is not comparable with success in fighting. Otherwise our sweet Lavellan here is screwed.”

“Thanks a bunch, Varric,” Ellana answered as everyone laughed, “I admit it, I suck at this. I just don’t seem to have the knack for it.”

“That’s because you are too careful to bet and too nice to cheat,” Bull said and patted her thigh. Ellana was a little startled and felt the color rise on her face.

“He is right, Lavellan,” Solas agreed, “You are too cautious for cards.”

“As I said, a goody-goody,” Sera affirmed.

“Don’t worry about it, I didn’t do much better than you,” Cassandra comforted her.

“You will learn in time,” Vivienne assured Ellana and got up, “I thank you for this evening and all the money you bestowed upon me. I will retire now to my quarters. Good night.”

An assortment of good night wishes followed Vivienne’s words and she left.

“Maybe she’s onto something. I feel like hitting the sack, myself,” Bull said and rose from the table, “Unless someone would like to join me?”

There was general laughter as no one indicated any willingness to take him up on his offer.

“Some other night, then. Good night.”

As Bull had left the tavern, Solas got up, too.

“This evening has been very pleasant, but I think that it is time for me to continue my studies in the Fade. Thank you for the company and good night.”

The tavern was growing empty as patron after patron left. Ellana, Varric, Sera, and Blackwall decided to have one last round of drinks before leaving. It was getting late.

“Do you think Bull and Solas went for a quickie?” Sera asked all of a sudden.

Ellana’s glass froze on its way to her lips.

“Why would you say that?” she asked with her eyes wide.

“Oh, come on, Bull made an open invitation to his sack and Solas is so gay,” Sera explained, looking at Ellana as if this was obvious. “Plus, Solas kept looking at Bull all night. And he left right after him.”

“That’s bullshit! Solas is not gay,” Ellana objected.

“I don’t know, Lavellan, she might be right,” Varric pondered, “I, too, noticed Solas looking at Bull more than once.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Ellana stammered, “They sat right opposite each other, it’s natural to you look at the person across the table. I’m telling you, there’s no way he’s gay.”

“Bi, then,” Varric said, “You are getting very defensive about it. Is there something you would like to share with us, Lavellan?”

Ellana blushed.

“I just don’t believe him to be gay,” she said, “Blackwall, what do you think?”

“I don’t care. I’m not getting involved in this, I’m going to bed.”

Blackwall got up and was about to leave, when something came to his mind and he turned back.

“I don’t want to be the object of similar speculation, so I will be clear and state that I am going to bed alone. Good night and don’t do anything stupid.”

The three were left in silence.

“So, tomorrow we are going to Redcliffe to meet-“ Ellana began, but she was cut off by Sera.

“We could go find them.”

“Excuse me?”

“Bull and Solas. That would prove me right.”

“That is not going to happen,” Ellana said, trying to sound assertive, “As much as Bull seems omnivorous regarding sex, Solas is straight, and probably a bit of a prude.”

“How do you figure?” Varric asked.

“Have you met him?”

“We could just ask him,” Sera said.

“Does it really matter?” Ellana asked. They didn’t need to know that it mattered to her.

“Aren’t you curious?” Varric asked.

Ellana shrugged.

“Yey!” Sera cheered, “Let’s go find him.”

“We don’t go anywhere. I will go out to see if he’s awake and maybe have a quiet word with him. I will not have you go out there to wake him up and just blurt out something inappropriate. He is a nice person who doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

After Ellana had left the tavern, Varric and Sera looked at each other.

“You think she’s got the hots for him?” Sera sounded incredulous.

“If so, I hope that we are both wrong about him. Otherwise, she’s in for quite a heartache.”

\--

Ellana knew she’d had too much to drink. This couldn’t be a good idea. She was just growing anxious because of her own insecurities and what the others had said about Solas. She had allowed herself to harbor a precious crush for him. She had flirted with him since meeting the man, but her efforts had been very rarely reciprocated.

Ellana stopped. Did she really want to do this? Of course she had no intention of just barging in and asking Solas about his sexual orientation. Or should she do that? Her drunken brain suggested that there was another way of going about it, one, that would also indicate, if he was interested in her. It would kill her if she found out later that all her fond thoughts had been for nothing. It would be better to know now than to keep dreaming in vain about a guy with whom she had no shot. She was drunk enough to have courage to find out if she had any chance at all.

There was light glowing under the door of Solas’ house. Ellana paused in front of it, took a deep, shaking breath, and knocked. Faint footsteps approached and Solas opened the door.

“Lavellan? This is unexpected. Would you like to come inside? Is something wrong?”

Solas made room for Ellana to enter the house and closed the door behind her.

“Nothing is wrong, Solas, don’t worry,” Ellana assured him, “Pardon me for the unexpected visit, I will not trespass on your time for long. I just…”

“Yes?” Solas looked at her kindly and made a gesture for her to continue. His small smile gave Ellana confidence.

“Would you help me settle an argument with Sera?”

“What would that require?”

“Very little. Just come closer to the light and look me in the eye, if you please.”

Solas looked puzzled, but complied.

“That’s good,” Ellana said, cleared her throat, and continued in a low, seductive voice, “I want to suck your rock-hard cock until you come, screaming my name.”

Solas’ pupils dilated. Ellana blushed profoundly, but grinned all the same.

“Excuse me?” he managed to say.

“I’m sorry. Sera was certain that you had gone for a quickie with Bull.”

Solas winced. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. It seems that Varric was wrong, too, Ellana thought. She was happy.

“And that made you come here and proposition me because…?” Solas sounded more amused than angry, for which Ellana was grateful.

“It sounds even more stupid now that you say it,” Ellana said, “I am sorry, I did not mean to offend you.”

“Rest easy, Lavellan, you did not offend me. But you do know that drinking is bad for your judgment, don’t you?”

“I have learnt it through the method of trying and failing,” Ellana admitted, to which Solas shook his head.

“I assume that many would find Bull attractive but I, for one, do not swing that way,” Solas said and came a little closer to Ellana, “Besides, I thought it probable that you would end up warming his bed tonight.”

Ellana’s gaze snapped on him.

“Is that so?”

Solas nodded.

“Well, I didn’t. And I won’t. He is not exactly my type.”

“Oh?”

They spent a moment gazing deep into each other’s eyes. There was electricity in the air.

“So, you want to ‘suck my rock-hard cock’?” Solas teased Ellana, who blushed and turned her eyes towards the floor. “Why did you resort to such coarseness of expression?”

“I have always thought that honesty is the best policy,” she replied.

Ellana was surprised when Solas extended his hand to touch her face. He slid it from her ear to place it under her chin. The touch was light but she enjoyed it immensely. The trace of his fingers felt warm. He lifted her face so that she would look him in the eye. His face was so close to hers, just a breath away. He was still smiling, but there was something besides warmth in his gaze. Could it be lust?

“You can be honest with me anytime.” Definitely lust. Ellana could feel it throughout her body.

Then Solas let go of her face and the moment was gone.

“You must be tired, and I have yet to travel the Fade today. I will see you tomorrow.”

Solas opened the door and Ellana walked through the doorway in a bit of a haze.

“Good night, Lavellan,” Solas called out in a soft voice.

“Good night,” Ellana echoed and left. She walked the short way back to her own house. She went through her nightly routine and climbed to bed. Then she fell asleep, the smile still on her face.


	9. Idiots with Magic

”Are you sure it’s wise for you to go to Redcliffe?”

Ellana fought the urge to hit her temple on something. Maybe on the surface of the War Table. Or on Cullen’s armor. That would be priceless, Ellana thought. She had a bit of a headache from the ill-advised drinking of the previous night and now Cullen was making his best effort to augment it. Next time, they would have to invite him, too. Maybe then he would be less persistent and more hung-over.

“I plan on having a friendly chat with the rebel mages – or my fellow apostates, if you will – about the possibility of them helping us to close the Breach. Pardon me for not seeing the terrible problem with this plan, Cullen. Maybe you could be so kind as to enlighten me about it?”

“It could be dangerous. And if word gets out, that the herald is talking with the mages, we’ll lose the possibility of an alliance with the templars,” Cullen said.

“It’s a good thing we haven’t come across anything dangerous, so far. Besides,” Ellana added, “talking with someone doesn’t automatically mean hopping into bed with them, as you well know, Commander.”

Cullen colored noticeably.

“To top it off, we were cordially invited. The Grand Enchanter went through the trouble to come and talk to us in Val Royeaux. Whereas the templars practically spat in my face and told us that the Inquisition was not worthy of their notice,” Ellana paused for a second and decided to put it another way, “That’s the equivalent of me inviting you to my house for tea and Cassandra telling you that she will punch you in the face if she sees you approach her residence. Would you still try to visit Cassandra or would you come around for tea with me?”

“Oh, stop messing with the poor man. I believe he understands, what you are saying,” Cassandra came to Cullen’s defense.

“That is all I ask. Thank you for the meeting. I will see you when we return,” Ellana concluded and left the room.

\--

Ellana, Varric, Solas, and Cassandra were back in the Hinterlands. Again.

“I have… Not missed this place,” Ellana huffed as they had killed yet another band of random mercenaries.

“I know what you mean. Is it just me, or are all the people living here crazy?” Varric asked.

“The Blight hit these lands hard,” Cassandra mused, “That may have had some effect.”

“It is odd that a place this beautiful and serene has so many denizens that are everything but that,” Ellana said.

“If I lived here, I’d go crazy, too,” said Varric, “There’s nothing here but nature. And crazy people.”

“The Dalish love it here, I presume?” Solas inquired with a smile playing at the corners of his eyes.

“A Dalish-jab? I haven’t heard one in a while. Well done,” Ellana said and padded Solas on the back.

Their banter was interrupted when they spotted the telltale green shimmer of a rift. It had spawned right at the gate of Redcliffe. Once they engaged the demons, it became clear that there was something wrong with this rift. In addition to the usual demons and green muck spurting from the ground, there were small circles that played merry hell with perception. Fortunately, it didn’t prevent them from closing the rift. Once the rift was gone, the circles disappeared.

“Solas, do you have any insight into what that was?” Ellana asked.

“They seemed like distortions in time,” he replied.

“Fantastic,” Ellana groaned, “I have not even met them yet, but these people have already made me think, ‘Maybe I should have listened to Cullen’. That is not a happy thought. What sort of crazy-ass mage messes with time magic? That is precisely the sort of crap that makes the rest of Thedas want to burn us at the stake.”

“Do you want to go back?” Cassandra asked, “We can still leave and seek the help of the templars.”

“As appealing as that sounds, whatever it is that is going on in here needs to be stopped.”

Ellana pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. As she finally paid attention to the sound coming from ground-level, she kneeled to pet Fen’Harel, who was growling. The cub had sensed Ellana’s agitation and reacted accordingly. Once she was behaving normally, he stopped, and enjoyed the attention.

“Let’s go save these idiots from themselves,” Ellana said as she got up and then walked through the gate.

Redcliffe looked to be a village of unwelcome surprises. A scout of the Inquisition told them that no one had known that they were coming. If the Grand Enchanter had known, she had kept it close to the vest. The agents of the Inquisition were not expected. Another man met them at the gate and invited them for a chat with the Grand Enchanter. He said something about some magister, which set all sorts of alarms blaring in Ellana’s mind.

Ellana needed a minute to sort all this out in her head, so she suggested that they take a look at the village. There was a small harbor, some shops, and more loony people, though these were not the sort that would attack them. In all likelihood. A few asked the Inquisition’s help in small matters that Ellana promised to look into, if there was time. They went through the small village fast and after that there was nothing to do besides meet with the Grand Enchanter.

Considering the morning they’d had, it was no wonder how fast the meeting went south. The Grand Enchanter had never seen them, had not invited them, could not promise anything on account of being indentured to a magister… Who then appeared.

When magister Alexius walked in and introduced himself, Ellana had to suppress a shiver. She caught Varric’s eye and they nodded in understanding. That was one evil mage. If the Orleasian fashion was that of the court-jester, the Tevinters had derived their style from the villain school of dressing. Alexius’ face did nothing to lessen the impression. His skin was dented and hardened and suggested substance-abuse. The whole guy gave such a strong impression of “cower before me, mortals” that Ellana felt like making a sign to ward off evil.

“You are the survivor? Interesting.”

Ellana wished really, really hard that she knew how to make herself disappear. She did not want to be the object of that look. Damned Bull and his accurate information on people’s obsession with the herald of Andraste! Ellana was about to fall into a very promising state of panic, when there was a gentle, but firm, squeeze on her hand. That set her straight. She gave one of her own in return and answered Alexius.

Ellana managed to be relatively polite to the magister and to ask about the nature of his deal with the rebel mages. As they sat down to discuss the Breach, Alexius’ son, Felix, was feeling poorly and stumbled into Ellana. Alexius rushed his son away, leaving Ellana to read the note Felix had slipped her.

“What is it?” Cassandra asked.

“Evidently he wants us to come to the Chantry. He says that we are in danger.”

“Oh, good, it’s been hours since someone tried to kill us,” Varric said, “Bianca was growing bored.”

“It is worth checking out,” Ellana said.

“I agree,” Cassandra concurred.

They talked to a few people on their way outside. Cassandra and Varric were already out the door when Ellana stopped and touched Solas’ shoulder to make him pause, too.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, “I really needed that.”

“You looked like you could use some encouragement.”

“I really appreciate it,” Ellana said.

Solas was about to leave when Ellana called out to him:

“Oh, and Solas, you can grab me anytime.”

He gave her a look and she burst out laughing.

“Do you always have to do that?” he asked.

“Sorry, I just can’t resist seeing that look on your face.”

“Please try.”

“You just look so… I don’t know, how to describe it. Disapproving and desirous at the same time.”

“Can we go now?”

“Yes, let’s go to the Chantry and fight for our lives. Two of my most favorite things.”

\--

The whole team sat in the camp. The ones who had been in Redcliffe were filling in the ones who had missed all the excitement.

“What did we find in the Chantry, but another of those time-warped rifts and a Tevinter mage who turned out to be Alexius’ former apprentice. He and Felix told us that Alexius had used time magic in order to get to our mighty herald,” Varric recounted.

“Told you,” Bull said and nudged Ellana, “Everyone’s obsessed with redheads.”

“I think their attention has more to do with my green hand than my red hair. If it did not, I would happily color or cut my hair and be done with the problem.”

“You said these Venatori turned to time magic only to get to you? Time magic presents a sizeable risk – not merely to those involved but to the very fabric of reality. They must think you very important,” Vivienne pondered.

Ellana looked at the faint green of her hand and sighed.

“I wish I understood this thing. Dorian was right – I just wiggle my fingers and boom, off goes the rift.”

“Doesn’t matter as long as it works, yeah?” Sera commented.

“Still. I prefer to know what I am doing. With magic, doing something on a hunch is a bad idea. I could tell you horror stories, as could Solas and Vivienne, I am sure,” Ellana looked up and the other mages nodded. “My favorite one involves a first who was in love. The poor idiot was not much to look at and had really nothing going for him besides his magic. He fell for this girl in his clan, but she didn’t care for him. Where the rest of us would have given up and moved on, he decided to create a love potion. He had found an old recipe somewhere, so off he went. He gathered the ingredients and made the potion. He was supposed to have some of her hair and then, upon drinking the potion, she would love him forever.”

“That is immoral,” Cassandra snorted, “It isn’t love if you have to force it.”

Ellana was surprised at such an out-of-character comment, but nodded.

“Don’t worry, Seeker,” Varric comforted, “I see where this is going. I take it that everything didn’t go as planned?”

“No, it did not,” said Solas, who was also familiar with the story, “The fool had every ingredient right, except for one – the hair of the poor girl with whom he was obsessed. When he finished the potion and drank it, he noticed very soon that she still was not enraptured with him. What he had acquired was the undying love of a Sylvan.”

“What’s a Sylva?” Sera asked.

“Sylvans are walking, talking trees that can live hundreds of years,” Ellana answered, “And this one did. It followed the first around for the rest of his life and made him some very touching love poems.”

There was a round of laughter around the camp. Fen’Harel yipped happily, as well.

“How do you confuse a girl’s hair with something that’s from a tree?” Varric asked in between chuckles.

“That is unclear,” Solas replied, “There has been speculation, however. It may be that the first had bad eyesight. Also, Sylvans sometimes have beard moss that is hair-like. As far as I am concerned, he simply was an idiot.”

“I agree,” Vivienne said.

“That’s a good story. But to return to the present – what do we do now?” Blackwall inquired.

“I have a few small errands to run for the people of Recliffe,” Ellana said, “After those are done, we return to Haven and discuss what to do. We need help if we are to close the Breach. Either the mages or the templars will do. But knowing that there’s an evil magister here, holding the strings of these rebel mages, not to mention that he is in a merry cult of Tevinter supremacists, I am inclined to pick the mages. They need our help and we need theirs.”

“Eww, more mages? Do you have to?” Sera groaned.

“You are welcome to go to the Breach and shoot it full of arrows if you are so inclined. If that works out, let me know.”

Ellana got up and dusted her clothes. Fen’Harel jumped up excitedly, ready to follow her.

“As I said, there are a few small errands to run. Does anyone want to stretch their legs for a bit?”

“I can’t shoot the Breach, but I can shoot idiots,” Sera said and got up.

“I’ll come. I haven’t killed anything all day,” Bull stated and grabbed his sword.

“Bianca could use an outing,” Varric said and joined them.

They traveled to Lake Luthias at a leisurely pace. It turned out that Sera got to shoot idiots, Bull managed to make his first kill of the day, and Bianca had a successful outing. When they reached the lake, Ellana did what the storyteller had told her to do. She put the designated flowers on the designated place, and behold – a sword rose out of the water.

“Awesome!” Sera said with wide eyes and peeked into the water, “Does it have more stuff in there?”

“I don’t know. I could use a staff,” Ellana replied.

“Can I have this?” Bull asked holding the sword, “It looks better than the one I have now. Also, this makes a good story of how I got my sword. I can just imagine Krem’s face when I tell him ‘this is the sword that was given to me by the spirit of valor that lives in a lake…’”

“Sure, it’s all yours. Go nuts.”

“Wasn’t there something else we needed to do here?” Varric asked, “Something concerning that?”

Varric pointed at a strangely-colored ram. Ellana’s face fell when she saw it.

“Oh, sodding ass, I had forgotten about that.”

“What’s this about a ram?” Bull asked.

“Well, there was this one guy, who was very worried about his… Special ram. He asked us to talk to it and tell it how very worried he was, so that the ram would go home,” Varric explained, “He seemed to care a great deal about his special friend.”

“Ewww,” Sera said.

“That’s what I thought,” Varric concurred.

“I’m sure it’s nothing like that. I’m sure he merely likes his ram a lot,” Ellana said, “What can I say? People are strange.”

“You’re one to talk,” Sera commented.

“I’m as normal as the next girl,” Ellana said.

“You’re standing next to Sera,” Varric pointed out.

“Valid point,” Ellana conceded, which made Sera snort and Bull laugh. “Anyway, now I will practice my skills in public speaking and convince that thing to return to the loving arms of its owner.”

Ellana was successful, but felt ridiculous.

“I have to say, Lavellan,” Varric said, “This might be the stupidest thing we’ve done so far.”

“I am happy that you have been here to witness the Inquisition hitting the bottom. From now on, there’s nowhere to go but up. Why don’t you go and tell this joyous piece of news to the others? The last errand is a little farther away and I will be faster by myself. Take Fen’Harel with you, please,” Ellana said and ran over a nearby cliff.

The owl was a useful form if you needed to cross long distances fast or do some sort of reconnaissance. In a fight it was worth shit. The only thing it would be good for was a hasty retreat.

Ellana enjoyed her owl shape. The freedom that flying provided was incredible. She couldn’t put it to words when she was in her regular form. Perhaps, because her thoughts were much more limited, when she was an owl. When flying, she mostly thought: “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

Ellana found the shrine she had been looking for and transformed back into her regular self. She cleaned it and put fresh flowers on it, as the widower had asked. Even though she didn’t believe that his late wife could know about any of this, she thought it beautiful that her spouse still cared. She said a silent prayer for his happiness and took to her wings again.

Ellana went to Redcliffe. She told the widower that his wife’s shrine had flowers again. She also informed Jimmy that his special ram had headed towards home. These were small things that seemed unimportant compared to closing the Breach. Yet, somehow, by doing them she had managed to create happiness for someone else. Maybe that was the sort of penance she could do to atone for the bad things she had done.

Ellana returned to the camp and told her companions of what she had done. Solas’ smile made it seem even more worthwhile.


	10. I Had A Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a little darker scenery (and tone) than most. I felt it appropriate because, let's face it, the dark future visited with Dorian is really bleak. But not to worry - all's well that ends with Ellana dreaming of Solas' ass.

Solas was accustomed to waiting. During his long years, he had learned it to be true that ”all things come to those who wait”. Lavellan, Dorian, Varric, and Cassandra had left the camp in the morning in order to confront Alexius at the castle he had commandeered. The Inquisition’s troops would sneak in while Lavellan’s team distracted the magister. Solas and the rest of Lavellan’s heavy-hitters were on stand-by so that they could step in, if needed.

The atmosphere at the camp was restless. It was clear that not everyone was as good at waiting as Solas. Sera kept talking a mile a minute, Blackwall was polishing his sword like there was no tomorrow, and Bull was training furiously with Krem and urging him to hit harder. The only one who was barely affected was Vivienne, who was in her tent, doing whatever it was that Court Enchanters did with their spare time. For all he knew, she could be writing gratuitous porn. After thinking that, he had to shake his head. He had spent too much time with Lavellan. She was rubbing off on him.

Solas patted Lavellan’s wolf cub absent-mindedly. She had left the wolf in his care because she didn’t want any harm to come to him. She had considered the confrontation with a magical lunatic to be too dangerous for her wolf, but not for herself. That was just like her, Solas thought. He would have wanted to go with her, but there was no sense in taking three mages. He had to settle with wolf-sitting.

Solas decided to take a little walk.

“Wolf, come,” he called the cub.

The cub didn’t respond, just looked at him with his head a little bent.

“Come, cub,” Solas tried. The result was the same.

“You are really going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

The reply was a blank stare.

“Fine,” Solas huffed, exasperated, “Fen’Harel, let’s go.”

The cub yipped happily and jumped up to follow him. Solas gave him a wry smile. It seemed that he had no choice but to get used to calling the cub with his proper name, though it felt strange.

“You are a lucky wolf, you know,” he said to the cub.

As much as wolves were animals that lived in packs, Lavellan’s cub was well off. He was looked after properly, he got good nutrition, and enough exercise. He could survive without other wolves – ‘the lone wolf’ was not a baseless expression, after all. And if he needed the company of other wolves… That was easily fixed, Solas thought, as he looked at the cub.

Solas took a moment to consider the idea. Lavellan and the rest would not be back for quite a while. No one would miss him at the camp. If he was caught, it would not cause too much wonder because Lavellan’s shapeshifting ability was general knowledge by now. He looked around to make sure that no one saw him. Then he shifted into a wolf, nudged Lavellan’s wolf cub with his nose, and ran. The cub seemed confused for a moment, but leaped hurriedly after him. They had quite a run.

Solas and the cub returned to the camp a little before Lavellan and the rest did. He was very pleased to hear that the rebel mages were their allies now. He would have hugged Lavellan if they were alone. He wanted her to know that, unlike some of the more noisy members of the Inquisition, he wholeheartedly approved of what she had done. He would be sure to tell her that in private.

Gaining the help of the mages was not the only thing that had happened in the castle. Dorian told them about time travel, a dark future he and Lavellan had experienced. In no more than a year all world had gone to the shitter. He told of an army of demons and the assassination of Empress Celine, both of which had been planned by the Elder One, some sort of sinister figure aspiring to godhood.

As Solas listened to Dorian, he kept his eyes fixed on Lavellan. She looked even paler than usual, the reddish color of her vallaslin standing out even more because of the contrast. She didn’t crack any jokes and hardly opened her mouth to comment on Dorian’s words. When she finally pulled herself together, as was her custom, it seemed to take more effort than before. Solas wondered what it was that had affected her so. The others were not likewise influenced, which would suggest that time travel was the culprit. Dorian appeared as cheery as he had previously been. Why was Lavellan so much altered?

The journey back to Haven brought no answers. There was much debate whether or not it had been a smart decision to allow the mages freedom instead of putting them under guard. Solas failed to see the point of arguing since the decision had already been made. He was growing more and more concerned for Lavellan, which shortened his temper to such a degree that he came close to casting Sera’s mouth full of snow to put an end to her constant yapping about the dangers of magic.

The moment they arrived in Haven, Lavellan disappeared into a string of meetings. Solas went to his house and waited for her. He was certain that she would talk to her whole team about the decision she had made. She would listen to their concerns and alleviate their fears, if she could. But she wouldn’t share her own fears and doubts with them. Solas decided that it was his job to help her handle them when she came to him. 

It was already dark when Lavellan finally came with Fen’Harel at her heels. Solas invited her in and they discussed the mages joining the Inquisition. He complemented her on doing the right thing and she rewarded him with a pleased, yet small smile.

“This future you saw – what was it like?” Solas inquired.

“Are you curious about your own future?” Lavellan asked in return.

“So it was horrific enough for you to try to avoid the question,” he concluded.

Lavellan buried her head in her hands. She looked so downtrodden that Fen’Harel got up and prodded her leg with his nose. She lifted him to her lap but would still not lift up her eyes.

“You do not have to tell me, if you do not wish to do so. I merely believe that it would help you move past it. I can see that it affected you greatly,” Solas said in a soft voice and placed his hand on her knee, “I want to help you, Lavellan.”

Lavellan put her hand on his and squeezed it. Then she got up, holding Fen’Harel in her arms.

“Thank you, Solas. I appreciate it, but I am not ready to talk about this yet. Good night.”

Then she left. Solas felt more helpless than he had in years. Clearly, Lavellan had seen something horrific that had left her depressed, afraid, and tired; a far cry from her usual self. Now she was about to go to bed and probably have the most terrible nightmare of her life. Could she handle that in the state she was in now? Should he even let her handle that on her own? Hell no.

Solas went to bed with a determination. He was not in the habit of trespassing in the dreams of others, when he was not invited, but this was a special case. Besides, Lavellan had made it abundantly clear on more than one occasion that she welcomed his presence anytime. It was not like he intended to go and take advantage of her or mess with her mind. He wanted to help her, desperately. So he went to the Fade and looked for her.

Solas located Lavellan and opened an entry into her dream. The moment he stepped through it, he was taken aback by the sight. He had arrived on the yard of what must be Redcliffe castle. There were red lyrium crystals everywhere, but no life. He glanced at the sky and was horrified at the sight. The Breach had expanded and colored the entire sky green. This future must not be allowed to happen, Solas thought.

The castle was full of twists and turns. Solas had to look for Lavellan quite some time before finding her. She was by herself in one of the dungeons, crying next to a butchered Inquisition scout. The whole room was littered with torture implements, skeletons, and corpses, some of which had Inquisition symbols on their clothing. There was blood everywhere.

Solas hastened to Lavellan’s side.

“Lavellan,” he called her, gently.

Lavellan looked up. As she recognized him, a new horror was born in her eyes.

“Solas, what are you doing here? Did they get to you, too? You shouldn’t be here, you should be away, safe at the camp, you should not have to see this, this is bad and it’s all my fault for failing everyone and they died and there’s blood and suffering and the whole sky is broken and everyone is suffering and red.” She was so frantic she hardly paused to take a breath.

“Lavellan,” Solas kneeled next to her and cradled her face tenderly with his hands, “Look at me.”

Lavellan stopped blabbing and stared into his eyes with her teary ones.

“You are safe. I am safe. We are in the Fade. This is a dream. This is not happening now. You survived this already.”

Lavellan took a breath. Solas saw that she was concentrating. He felt his anxiety fall away as her expression lost most of the terror.

“You are right, this is the Fade, I can feel it,” Lavellan said as she got up. She stretched her legs and her appearance changed. The bloody armor was replaced with what Solas guessed to be keeper’s robes. Also, there was an owl on her shoulder. Solas was intrigued to see the change. Her Fade-self was very close to the snowman she had made.

“Alright, care to explain what you are doing in my dream, somniari?” Lavellan asked.

“I am sorry for walking in unannounced. I just want to help,” Solas said.

“With what?”

Solas gestured at the gruesome scene.

“This is much to take in, even for someone as adamant as you,” he said, “It is not a sign of weakness to accept a little help when it is offered, Lavellan. I am offering.”

Lavellan paced around while she considered his words. Solas found this curious since she did not have a similar nervous habit in the real world. It appeared that she was good at controlling herself. Dreams were different.

Lavellan stopped pacing when she reached some sort of a decision.

“Fine,” she conceded, “Let’s do this properly. Maybe then I don’t have to return to this horrid place ever again.”

Lavellan took Solas around the castle and showed him, what she had seen and heard. All the mangled bodies, the red lyrium everywhere, the anger and despair in the faces of everyone they saw. He saw the inhumane torture, he saw the people, who were being turned into red lyrium crystals. He saw the altered appearance of Varric and Cassandra, and the tormented, almost rotten face of Leliana. At some point he had grabbed hold of Lavellan’s hand without even realizing it. When he did realize it, he let it be for the comfort of both. They stood there, hand in hand, watching as Alexius fell. As the demons filled the throne room and threw the mangled bodies of Cassandra and Varric carelessly away. As the horrors crushed Leliana. Then the scene disappeared.

Solas pulled Lavellan into his arms. He held her tenderly and stroked her hair as she wept.

“Lavellan, I am so sorry.”

They stood there a long time. Lavellan’s tears died away and she dried her face.

“I wish I could be as casual about this as Dorian, but I can’t. This is all centered in me.”

“Don’t blame yourself. Not for this, not for anything that has happened so far. This is not your fault.”

“I never said I was blaming myself,” Lavellan said.

“You did not have to,” Solas replied, “It is obvious.”

“All of this happened because I took a trip in time. Doesn’t that mean something?”

“It means that you are not the one we should blame, you are the one we should hail for saving us. You are the hero, not the villain.”

“One man’s hero is another man’s villain.”

“True enough,” Solas admitted, “Whose hero do you wish to be?”

Lavellan lifted her head and locked gazes with him.

“Can I be yours?”

Solas chuckled a little and tightened his hold on her. She was growing more like herself again.

“I do not know,” he said in a reflective tone, “It is not a title that is easily bestowed upon someone. Let’s see if you meet the criteria.”

“Criteria?”

“Yes, of course. Hmm. A hero has to be pure of heart and follow the dictation of their conscience. They have to care for everyone, especially for those who can’t fend for themselves. A hero has to stand for what is right, even when it costs them dearly. And it doesn’t hurt if the hero looks good enough to be made into statues and portraits.”

Lavellan’s face had fallen during his speech and she had stepped a little farther away from him.

“So, yes, you can be my hero,” Solas concluded.

Lavellan’s eyes lit up and her smile was the widest he had ever seen. She threw her arms around him and squeezed before letting go of him and stepping away.

“If I am your hero, does that make you my damsel in distress?” Lavellan asked with a twinkle in her eye.

“Absolutely not.”

“Oh, come on, Solas,” Lavellan pleaded, “You are a mage. Mages wear dresses. It’s not a long way from wearing a dress to being a damsel in distress.”

“This went somewhere very strange uncommonly fast,” Solas huffed and shook his head, “Besides, you are a mage and you don’t wear a dress.”

“I’m Dalish. I have sense enough not to wear something that prevents me from running away from monsters. It is my firm belief that those damsels would not be in distress if they wore something sensible. And acted sensibly in general.”

“I agree,” Solas affirmed, “And since I am sensible, I can’t, by your own definition, be a damsel in distress.”

“Fine. I will still rescue you if you are in trouble, though.”

“I am counting on it,” Solas said.

They smiled at each other for a while.

“Now that we are done with the nightmare, would you like to hang out in my dream?” Lavellan asked.

“Why not? Did you have something specific in mind?”

“Let me think,” Lavellan said with a mock-thoughtful expression, “Usually, when you appear in my dreams…”

“You have dreams about me?” Solas was taken aback.

“Naturally. They are very fun dreams, too. Some of my favorite ones. You are witty and charming and scantily clad and…”

“Excuse me?” Solas cut in. “Scantily clad?”

“Well, I would call it that. You have on this very nice pair of underthings that accentuates your assets. The dream you has absolutely amazing abs. And arms. And oh, that ass…” Lavellan stared dreamily into nothing.

“Lavellan, please!”

“I’m sorry, was I making you uncomfortable?”

“Just a tad.”

“Sorry, I got carried away by your fine ass.”

“Did you happen to drink before you went to bed?” Solas inquired, “We already had this discussion about how drinking affects your judgment.”

“I didn’t know you were going to appear in my dream in person, did I?” Lavellan said, “But I see your point and promise to keep your dream version to myself.”

“Thank you.”

“I have always wondered about those old dreams that you have studied. Could you show me some of those?”

“I can do that,” Solas promised.


	11. The Elder One Has Daddy Issues

The time had come to close the Breach. Everyone wanted to see it happen, so the party that left Haven was a large one. Ellana was in the lead since that was where they needed her to be. She was nervous but couldn’t show it because she was the herald, the conquering hero. She would have wanted to fidget or run in circles or something, but that would only have made the others nervous, too. Fen’Harel seemed to be the only one to sense her state of mind. The cub kept to her side in order to watch over her.

Ellana pondered whether the others were as anxious as her. Sera was biting her nails, Cassandra kept making and unmaking a fist, Varric was humming under his breath, and Dorian fixed constantly his immaculate clothing. Blackwall and Bull watched the environment very closely, while Solas and Vivienne looked as they always did. Ellana envied their collectedness in the face of everything. Then again, it wasn’t their magical, glowing hand that was supposed to heal the sky.

Ellana looked at her marked hand. She remember the last time she had tried to close the Breach. It had been a tremendous effort that had taken her lights out. It was possible that it would happen again. It was also possible that closing the Breach would kill her. But it had to be done. The rifts had claimed countless lives and wreaked havoc into a world that was already mad because of the fighting of mages and templars. The situation couldn’t be allowed to continue as it was.

It didn’t take long before they arrived at the Breach. Solas gave instructions to the mages on where to stand. Ellana waited for him to finish before addressing him.

“Solas,” she said.

The mage turned to her.

“Thank you for everything you have done,” Ellana said and gave him a small bow, “No matter what they say afterwards, know that I, at least, am grateful for everything you have done. If something happens to me, please, take care of Fen’Harel.”

Solas did not betray any emotion beyond the hint of sadness in his eyes, but he gave an acknowledging bow of his own. They took their places and resumed their duties. 

Solas instructed the mages to focus past Ellana and to allow her will to draw from theirs. Ellana took a deep breath and began. It was a fight. As she drew from her will and that of the other mages, she thought of the Breach. She used to think that it was beautiful despite the danger it presented, but that was before she saw the future. Seeing the entire sky glow green… After that, she could see nothing beautiful in it. It was only a danger that needed to be done away with, fast. She grunted and pushed more and more of the collected will into the mark.

Green glow danced around the Breach. Then the whole thing exploded. Ellana was thrown back and her breath was knocked out of her lungs. She laid on her back, trying to get air, but it didn’t work. As she laid there gasping like a fish out of sea, she felt something wet on her face. She looked up to see Fen’Harel licking her. Such love and devotion. She felt a tear fall down. She wasn’t going to die here, for fuck’s sake! She forced herself to calm down on work on inhaling. Finally, she succeeded. A few good breaths and she was able to get up. By then, Cassandra was there to help her up. Everyone was cheering. The Breach was gone.

\--

All of Haven was in serious party mode. The imminent end of the world had been avoided and the sky was no longer broken. If those were not reasons to party, what were? Drinking, dancing, and singing were happening everywhere. Probably sex, too. Ellana hoped so. She wasn’t getting any but she wished that someone else, at least, was getting lucky. It would be nice to celebrate something like this with someone special.

“You look troubled. What are you thinking?” Cassandra asked.

“I am hoping that someone is getting laid out there,” Ellana answered without thinking.

Cassandra made a strange noise. Varric burst out laughing.

“I’d bet on it,” he said, “Why don’t you go and do that? You of all people have earned it.”

“What a fantastic idea! And who do you suggest I bed?”

“Hmm,” Varric pretended to give it some thought, “Well, there is Cullen. He’d be willing, I’m sure.”

“Oh, please,” Ellana huffed, “The man runs away screaming every time I smile at him. It must be the mage thing.”

“I don’t know,” Varric pondered, “I heard that he used to have a thing for the Hero of Ferelden when she was still at the Circle.”

“What, really?”

“Yeah, big time. Maybe you remind him of her.”

“And that’s why he runs away screaming? Should I be flattered?”

“Will the two of you just leave that poor man alone? Please?” Cassandra asked.

“I am fine with that,” Ellana said, “Though it is good fun to see him blush.”

“I do think you should celebrate, just in some other manner,” Cassandra said, “You have earned it, as Varric said.”

“You think I should celebrate in celibate?”

“If you say so,” Cassandra said in a tone of voice that indicated that she was determined not to be goaded.

Cassandra left Varric and Ellana to stare at the now empty sky.

“I still feel like this isn’t over,” Ellana mused, “I have a sense of foreboding. It feels fecking awesome.”

“’Fecking awesome’? Care to elaborate?”

“I have a friend in a clan that we run into regularly. A very nice guy, considerate and friendly, but swears like a sailor. He says ‘fecking awesome’ when a shit storm is about to hit,” Ellana explained.

“He swears like a sailor?”

“I know I am prone to the occasional expletive, too.”

“You’re right, though. Susurration, that’s what it is.”

“Susurration?” Ellana asked.

“You know, silent murmurs, backstabbing and whatnot,” Varric interpreted.

“I’ll have to remember that. Whilst we wait for that, you should go have a drink,” Ellana said.

“Just one?”

“As a journey begins with one step, so a bender starts with one drink.”

“That was beautiful,” Varric snorted, “I’m off, then, to start that journey.”

As Varric headed towards the tavern, Ellana made her way to Solas’ cabin. She had expected to find him home, and she was right. She knocked on the door and waited patiently till he opened it.

“I knew I’d find you here,” Ellana said, grabbed his hand, and began dragging him towards the tavern, “Come on.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“To the party.”

“I was perfectly content to stay inside and read.”

“I bet you were. But playing the hermit is not the right thing to do in a moment like this,” she said, “This is a victory and it should be celebrated as such. Regardless of what happens next.”

“Lavellan, wait for a second,” Solas said and stopped.

Ellana paused, also, and turned to look at him.

“You thought that you would die closing the Breach.”

Ellana shrugged.

“I thought it was possible,” she admitted.

“You did it anyway.”

“Of course I did.”

Solas shook his head slowly.

“It needed to be done,” Ellana continued, “no matter the cost.”

“I agree that it needed to be done. But it is not wrong to consider your own survival a priority. You don’t automatically have to give your life to save the lives of others. There are other ways to help. If you live longer, you will be able to do more good, help more people, don’t you agree?”

“You can trust me to do what needs to be done,” Ellana said, “But if I can save people, I will do it, even if it will harm me.”

Solas took her marked hand and showed it to her.

“But you are important, you are special. Don’t you see that?”

“Everyone is important and special to someone, Solas,” she answered and pointed at her hand, “This was just a mistake that happened to me. Alexius said so. It should never have been.”

“Lavellan…” Solas sounded like he wanted to argue, so Ellana cut him off.

“It doesn’t matter. Let’s go get you drunk and naked, shall we?”

“Lavellan!”

“Fine, just drunk, then. Come on.”

Ellana and Solas went into the tavern and found it full. Everyone had apparently had the same idea as Ellana. She managed to get them both a drink while Solas found seats for the both of them. They sat down and were about to drink when the alarm rang.

“Fecking awesome,” Ellana said to herself as she got up and rushed outside with the rest of the crowd.

A quick chat at the gate informed her that they were under attack by some unknown force. A voice called from the other side.

“I cannot come in unless you open the gate,” it said.

As they opened the gate, a blond boy came in, dragging Chancellor Roderick. The boy told that his name was Cole and he had come to warn the Inquisition about the up-coming attack of the Red Templars. The Inquisition had brought the attack upon themselves when they took the Elder One’s mages. Evidently, he was pissed. Cole pointed towards a cliff where a tall figure stood. The Elder One. He was too far away for Ellana to have a proper look. They didn’t have time to ponder on his identity. They needed to defend themselves.

Cullen told Ellana that they had to get the trebuchets working.

“Solas and I are sober. Anyone else?”

“I didn’t have time to drink much. Bianca and I are good to go,” Varric said.

“Sera drank most of my booze,” Blackwall said.

“You snooze, you lose your booze,” Sera yelled and giggled.

“If I live, that will be my new motto. But first things first: the four of us are going to hit those templars hard. You boozers help Cullen evacuate the village and defend the civilians,” Ellana commanded and indicated her team to follow as she made her way to the first trebuchet.

They ran into templars, though there was something wrong with them. Ellana could easily see why Cole had called them red. They were aggressive and heavy on the offensive. Among them were ones that were monstrous, no longer human. What had happened?

When the attackers were dead and they had the first trebuchet working, they headed towards the next. It was surrounded by enemies and dead Inquisition soldiers, so they had to use it by themselves. Waves of enemies made the process difficult, each wave odder than the previous. No matter what had changed in the templars, they still had some sort of unholy wrath towards mages, which meant that Ellana and Solas had to spend much of their time running away from crazed, red maniacs, instead of gunning for them. It was really annoying.

As the last red crystal creep lay dead on the ground, Ellana ran for the trebuchet and managed to get it to fire. It brought down an avalanche that destroyed most of the troops.

“Alright, now we can…”

Ellana was cut off by a mighty roar and the sight of a flying beast.

“Please, tell me that I didn’t just see that,” she begged.

“The guy has a fucking dragon?” Varric groaned.

“Of course he has. That’s an evil overlord if I ever saw one. Of course he has a bloody dragon. He can probably also laugh like a freaking pride demon, but let’s not stay to find out,” Ellana said and ran, “Let’s move, people!”

They ran to the village and met Cullen at the gate. He told them to go to the Chantry. They made their way through the village, trying to save all lives they possibly could. All just couldn’t be saved, which hurt Ellana’s heart, but she couldn’t dwell on it now.

As the doors closed behind them, Ellana felt trapped. They were out of options, until Chancellor Roderick remembered a path from the Chantry to a safe location. Safer than the Chantry, at least. What they needed, was time. Time could be bought with a distraction.

“If the Elder One wants me, he can have me,” Ellana said with a determination, “You can run away while I keep the enemies busy.”

Ellana could see that there were going to be protests, but she shut them down with a wave of her hand.

“Team Relatively Sober, let’s go,” said she, and off they went.

The fighting was fierce. The Red Templars were even tougher opponents than the regular ones, though the dresses were the same. The team managed to fight their way to the trebuchet and make it ready to launch. As Ellana was about to pull the handle, the dragon appeared. It came down with such force that the others flew far away, and Ellana was launched off the trebuchet.

A dark form walked towards Ellana through the smoke. The Elder One. He looked like the lovechild of a human, a bird, an arcane horror, and a crab. Ellana had heard that the Tevinters had some very peculiar tastes when it came to sex, but that must have been one crazy orgy, even in the standards of blood mages. Why was he wearing a dress? Was he that self-conscious about his legs?

Ellana shook her head and got up. The Elder One, or “the will that is Corypheus”, gave her the obligatory cower-before-me-you-insignificant-speck-speech. She didn’t dare to move much since his dragon was breathing on her neck. It was really unpleasant. She knew that she should have been scared, but it appeared that she was beyond scared. At this point, she was mostly angry.

Corypheus told her that “the anchor” on her hand had been meant for him to break into the Golden City and become a god. Ellana thought that the creature had obviously daddy issues. He looked like he didn’t know who or what his farther was, so he wanted to get at the Creator, instead. Maybe he wanted to become a god to fix his face, who knows. Or maybe he wanted enough power so that no one would ever laugh at him again. Or maybe… Ellana had hit her head. She must have, this was so idiotic. She told herself to focus.

Corypheus meant to take the anchor back, which sounded unpleasant. Ellana’s attention was drawn to the orb he had in his hand. He activated it and a red burst of magic grabbed Ellana’s hand. It hurt like a bitch and the pain brought her to her knees. It went on and on, with no avail. Corypheus was livid as he declared the anchor to be permanent. The thief had to die.

Corypheus grabbed Ellana in one of his claws and threw her away like a ragged doll. She landed on the trebuchet, which was either sheer luck or a proof that, while Corypheus was creepy and powerful, he wasn’t smart. Ellana let him monologue long enough for her to inch her way to the lever and launch the trebuchet. It brought another avalanche, this time on Haven. Corypheus’ victory was buried in snow. The dragon took him away, but Ellana was left on the avalanche’s path. She hurried down and thought that she was almost as dumb as Corypheus. Only an idiot would bury themselves in an avalanche.

Ellana was swept into the snow and carried away. The avalanche threw her into what was probably an old mining shaft. The fall knocked her out and she fell unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Fecking awesome' because I visited Ireland recently. It was fecking nice, love. It rained every day, though not all the time. You wouldn't believe the amount of game stores they have. It was awesome!
> 
> 'Susurration' because StealthSister told me that it was one of Terry Pratchett's favourite words (he mentioned it in some interview or other). Sis just got his book and shared some of the more amusing stuff with me. (If you want to read some delicious drell smut, I warmly recommend her story Crimson Dreams. The next chapter may have some susurration, too. It will have fecking, I am told.)


	12. The Unwilling Chosen One

Ellana woke up in a strange place with no idea how she had gotten there. It had been a while since that had happened. Not that she had missed the feeling; it was rather unpleasant. Ellana inspected herself. She had a splitting headache, possibly a fractured rib, a sore wrist, and untold bruises, but other than that she was fine, though cold. She decided it was better to get up before there was need to add hypothermia on that list.

She looked around the cave and started wobbling along the passage. Little by little she remembered what had happened. Haven had been attacked by an army of red and creepy templars lead by a god-wannabe who had a dragon as a pet. She’d had the ingenious idea of escaping via avalanche which had led her to her present predicament. 

Ellana grunted at herself. What in the world made all those people look up to her for guidance and leadership? Everything she did clearly evidenced that she was not the right person for the job. She would bet anything that Cullen, Cassandra, and Leliana were all with the people they had managed to save while she was out being patronized upon and tossed by that butt-ugly creature. She was no leader, she was a court-jester!

It was in accordance with Ellana’s current state of mind that she came across a group of despair demons. She had no patience for their screaming and she was already cold without their icy vomit, so she annihilated them, pure and simple. She had been creating a new spell that drew from the magic of her mark. It took time to prepare and left her exhausted, but it was very powerful. She was pleased to see how well it worked.

Ellana found her way out of the cave, into the snowstorm. Lovely. Staying put was not an option, since Ellana didn’t have the slightest inclination to freeze to death, so she soldiered on. She could have used magic to keep herself warm, but that would have taken mana she did not have. She was already tired and it looked like it would be a long hike to wherever the others were. The snow was high and wind beat her face tender, but she went on.

Ellana had no idea how long she had trekked through the snow until the wind gave out a little. She found a campsite that had recently had a fire. There were no footprints, but that was understandable considering the wind and how much it had snowed. Was there a light ahead or was she just imagining things in her delirium? Was her headache making her see things?

“It’s her! Herald!”

Maybe Ellana’s ears were deceiving her, too. No, she couldn’t be this far gone. She had been in pain before, but had not experienced sensory illusions. Those had to be Inquisition troops. She had found them.

“Here I am, guys! Not to worry, your court-jester returns!” She yelled, though her voice came out weird. The snow had not gone easy on her throat.

Ellana smiled as the search party came nearer. Fen’Harel was with them and seemed exhilarated to see Ellana again. The others, while not quite as eager, appeared “pleased to see that she still lived,” as Solas had put it the first time they met.

“Herald! Are you alright?” Cullen asked with a worried expression on his face.

“Yes, I am quite alright, thanks for asking. I am a little sore all around, my head is killing me, and one of my ribs is probably fractured, but other than that, I am perfectly fine,” Ellana assured him.

“You look exhausted,” Solas said.

“Well, next time you go out to get beaten by a wannabe god and bury yourself in an avalanche and fall down a mine and beat demons and walk Creators know how long in a freaking snowstorm and then we will see, if you still look that pretty.”

“Everything that happens to you is weird,” Varric said, though he smiled.

“Seconded,” said Bull and Blackwall at the same time.

“I hate to ask because I am afraid of the answer, but how far is your camp?” Ellana enquired.

“It is some way out. We divided into search parties and headed to different directions,” Cullen said.

“Are you able to walk?” Solas asked. He looked concerned.

“No need, I could carry her with one hand,” Bull said, “With two, it’s no problem, even in this snow.”

He opened his arms for Ellana to step into. She battled with herself but agreed. She really was exhausted, cold, and hurting allover. The thought of being held against Bull’s warm chest was more than tempting. Ellana walked closer and Bull took her gently into his arms. Ellana felt safe and warm.

“I could get used to this,” she said and laughed, “It’s so warm.”

“Really? Maybe I should join you, then,” Varric said from behind them.

“The more the merrier,” Bull said, “If you want a piggyback ride, hop on.”

“Thanks, but I think Bianca and I will manage,” Varric answered, “I don’t want to give her the impression that she isn’t enough for me.”

“Your relationship with that bow is strange,” Blackwall said.

“Is that so? How often do you polish that sword of yours?” Varric quipped.

“At least I haven’t named it.”

“A stranger in your hand, huh?” Varric said.

“That can be fun,” Bull commented.

“Please, you are making me laugh and my rib is killing me,” Ellana said in a strangled voice, “Could you talk about something else until I am fixed up? Besides, look at poor Cullen! You could fry eggs on his head. He’s so innocent, unlike the depraved lot that we are.”

Cullen was, indeed, very red.

“Herald, I assure you, I am fine,” he said.

“Shh, it’s alright. You can put your hands on your ears and recite the Chant of Light, if you like. We wish to preserve your innocence,” Ellana promised.

“Alright, we can change the subject,” Varric complied, “Solas, what do you call your staff?”

“That’s not changing the subject!”

It took them a while but they arrived at the camp. Ellana was placed on a bed and a healer attended to her. She got some much needed healing potion and took a nap while everything else happened. When she woke up, she found out that ‘everything else’ was mostly bickering. Her advisers were hesitant at what to do next.

Mother Giselle sat with Ellana and assured her that the herald of Andraste was what people needed right now. They needed hope in the face of an un-known, powerful enemy. For some reason, they didn’t see her as the court-jester. They saw her as the leader, the hero. Where Ellana would say that shit just happened to her, the others would say that it was the will of the Maker. It appeared that this was one argument she couldn’t win.

Ellana got up and looked around. The people that were the Inquisition seemed hopeless and lost. They had suffered and they were scared and now homeless. She understood that they needed something to believe in, because they didn’t have much else. But how to give them hope without becoming its beacon?

Then mother Giselle began to sing. The song was unknown to Ellana, but it was beautiful. Everyone else seemed to know it, since it didn’t take long for others to join in. Leliana had a gorgeous voice, and even Cullen could sing. Ellana would have been happy to just listen to the song, but when it progressed, people started to gather around her, to show her respect. Some even bowed. She was in an internal tumult, but decided not to show it. As bad as it felt, this was what these people needed her to be. As she glanced up, she saw Solas give her an ‘I told you so’ look. She looked at the people around her. Hope had reborn in their eyes. They needed her to be a symbol, and she couldn’t let them down. Bugger.

When the song was over, Solas pulled Ellana aside. He told her that the orb Corypheus had carried was elven. He seemed sure that the people would find that out at some point or other, which might result in violence against innocent elves. He thought it necessary that they help in every possible way and show that not all things elven are bad. He advised her to lead the Inquisition to a place he knew, where it could grow.

Solas was about to leave, when he stopped and turned back.

“Lavellan, I…” Ellana could see that he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words.

“’You’re pleased to see I still live’?” Ellana offered.

“Yes,” Solas said and smiled, “Though ‘pleased’ sounds a little insufficient in the present circumstances.”

“Glad to hear it,” Ellana admitted, “I am also more than pleased to see that you still live.”

Solas actually grunted. That was a first.

“Now that you say it, it sounds very clinical.”

“And a bit sarcastic,” Ellana added.

“That too,” he admitted, “Maybe I should come up with something else to say.”

“Maybe you should.”

“I’ll have to think on it. May I get back to you on that?”

“You may,” Ellana said and turned to leave. She didn’t manage many steps before Solas called after her.

“Lavellan? Are you sure you are alright?”

“Yes, Solas, I am fine,” Ellana looked at him, surprised, “Why?”

“You didn’t say anything dirty.”

“I didn’t, did I? I must be growing up.”

“Please, don’t. Not too much, anyway. I like you the way you are,” Solas said in a low voice. It looked like he was actually blushing, just a little. Ellana thought it was adorable.

“See, that’s what you should have said,” Ellana beamed at him and left.

\--

The Inquisition, or what was left of it, journeyed onwards for quite some time. Solas, Lavellan, and Fen’Harel were in the lead. Even though Solas was the one who truly knew, where they were going, Lavellan was the one the others needed to see. She told him that she felt ridiculous taking the lead, but he was as eager for her to take the credit as the others. He understood the importance of symbols and tales. The story of the herald had the makings of a great one. He merely hoped that it would not be a tragedy.

Everyone was tired when they finally reached their destination – Skyhold. The fortress rested on a mountaintop, surrounded by similar ones. They had a long time to look at it as they approached. It was as magnificent and beautiful as Solas had remembered. Skyhold had been uninhabited for an era. There was clutter everywhere, but there was definite potential. They still had manpower, so cleaning the place up would not be an issue.

As soon as they arrived, they had a grand ceremony on the yard. They finally did what they should have done months ago – they declared Lavellan Inquisitor. Solas was proud of her, even though she looked a little uncomfortable holding a sword. It was traditional, though a wee bit ridiculous considering she was a mage. It was good that they didn’t make her give a speech. He wasn’t quite certain that she would have been up to the challenge. Despite her many admirable attributes, improvised public speaking was not really her forte. It would have been amusing, though hardly motivational, to hear what she would come up with.

Lavellan’s team scattered around the fortress when she went inside to confer with her advisers. Solas didn’t need to look around much. He knew, where he would settle. He found a relatively quiet spot on the yard to watch the commotion. When Lavellan returned from the meeting, Solas was able to keep track of her from his vantage point. 

Lavellan checked with everyone on her team, as was her habit. Solas could even hear some of the conversations. Sera was afraid of everything that had happened. Blackwall wanted a quiet word with the Inquisitor about the recent goings-on. When Solas heard, how rude Vivienne was to Lavellan, he had to suppress the urge to hit the Court Enchanter with something heavy. A very nasty spell would do, also. It wasn’t Lavellan’s fault that they had been attacked. She blamed herself enough as it was, she didn’t need Madame Vivienne to tell her to do so. Solas sighed. He and Vivienne didn’t see eye to eye on anything.

The case of Cole was just one example. He was glad that Lavellan had allowed the spirit to stay and help. Cole was a spirit of compassion, after all. It would be helpful in unpredictable ways, as was its nature. Solas could see that Lavellan would come to like the spirit. She had asked whether the spirit would like to go somewhere where it didn’t need to feel so much pain. It said that it would like that, but it couldn’t help elsewhere, so it would stay with the wounded and dying. Lavellan had smiled and nodded. Solas realized that she must have felt much the same way, being here. She had said many times that she didn’t like being the herald. She didn’t want to be the hero. But she was, even when she flat-out refused to see, what she was. What she, the Inquisitor, meant to the people there. What she meant to him.

“She is doing splendidly after all that has happened, yes?”

Solas turned to look at Dorian who had silently come to stand by his side.

“So it seems,” Solas admitted, “It would appear that she is finally coming to terms with being the unwilling leader of the Inquisition.”

“It couldn’t be anyone else. Oh, how she glows! And she has no idea. It’s marvelous.”

“It definitely makes a good story.”

“The legend of the Inquisitor, I’d say. It won’t take long for the whole of Thedas to hear about it.”

“You think that they haven’t heard already?” Solas asked.

“They have heard of the herald that was sent out of the Fade by Andraste herself,” Dorian said, “They have yet to hear of the Inquisitor, who was thrown down by a false god, but reappeared. It’s a classical story arch, the hero that is killed and brought back to life. Everyone loves this sort of thing, even my countrymen, who have little interest in things that are not of Tevinter.”

Solas took a while to consider the mage. He was flamboyant, it was true, but it seemed that he was not without understanding.

“What do you think will follow?” Solas asked.

“You know, what will follow,” Dorian said, “People will flock to Skyhold. Not for the Inquisition, but for her. For the living legend among men. May she remain living for a long time.”

“I am curious,” Solas admitted, “What do you think of her? Do you think that she is some sort of a chosen one, touched by fate, or sent by your Maker?”

Dorian gave him a sly smile.

“Everyone loves a good story, yes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe that this scribble has over 200 hits 0.o Maybe it simply means that 200+ people have read the first paragraph and ran away, screaming (so to speak). If that isn't the case, and there is someone out there, who has actually managed to read this far, you have my heartfelt thanks! I appreciate it.
> 
> I'm sorry for teasing Cullen... Except that I am not. He's so funny! The way you can make him run away in Origins is very entertaining.


	13. Men Are Strange

Ellana walked the ramparts, engrossed in thought. The past days had been filled with crazy. They had found Skyhold with Solas’ guidance, and, right away, she had been declared Inquisitor. The title still sounded strange to her, though it was much better than being called the herald of Andraste.

Ellana had checked in with every member of her team. Bull had taken her to meet some random Inquisition soldiers. It had been bizarre. They had seen her from afar, but couldn’t recognize her when she was right there. She had just sat there – grunting, as per Bull’s instructions – listening to Bull ask them about the Inquisition. It had been enlightening, as well. The Inquisition was made of people, who had their own reasons for joining, fighting, and dying for the cause. Some were looking for a break from the normal life, while others wanted to fix the world. Some believed it was all ordained in some way.

Ellana thought that Blackwall may have been right. He had asked her if she was the chosen one, but then said that the truth didn’t matter. Ellana was trying hard to come to terms with that. She had always thought that the truth was important, while she understood the importance of stories – she was a keeper’s apprentice, after all. She knew how stories carried the history and identity of both groups and individuals. Stories made it easier to remember things. The chaos of the world was much more manageable, when you formed it into stories in your head. Every day was a story. Your whole life was a story. But truth was important, too, wasn’t it?

Ellana found Varric.

“Who is this mystery person you wanted me to meet?” Ellana asked.

Varric waved his hand for Ellana to turn around. A beautiful, raven-haired woman in magnificent armor joined them.

“Inquisitor, meet Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall,” he said.

“Though I don’t use that title much anymore,” Hawke said.

“Hawke, the Inquisitor. I figured you might have some friendly advice about Corypheus. You and I did fight him, after all.”

“You’ve already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I’m sure anything I can tell pales in comparison,” Hawke said.

Ellana smiled at her. It seemed that Varric’s description of his friend had been correct.

“Oh, I don’t know. You did save a city from a horde of rampaging Qunari.”

“I don’t see how that really applies… Or is there a horde of rampaging Qunari I don’t know about?”

“There’s a Qunari,” Ellana said and added, thinking about Bull, “He almost qualifies as a horde all by himself. Fortunately, he’s on our side.”

That almost got a smile from Hawke. It was obvious that the past months hadn’t been much easier on her than they had been on Ellana. Ellana asked Hawke about her dealings with Corypheus. None of it sounded good. A creature that could control the minds of Wardens could very well be responsible for their disappearance. It didn’t bode well. Neither did the part about Hawke killing Corypheus once already. Ellana believed her, when she told that Corypheus truly had died. Hawke must have seen her share – many people’s share, in fact – of death.

As Ellana asked Hawke about her travels and dealings with the Wardens and red lyrium, she grew curious about why she was traveling alone. In all of Varric’s stories, she was surrounded by her friends.

“I heard you had family and friends in Kirkwall,” Ellana said, “Where are they now?”

“I left my sister, Bethany, with my friend, Aveline. That woman is a mountain, I’d trust her with my life, as I often have,” Hawke said and her expression grew misty, “Fenris would have killed himself to protect me. I couldn’t allow that. It was difficult, but I convinced him to stay behind.”

Ellana was touched by her expression. It was one she had seen once in a while, especially when a couple celebrated their commitment. It was what people in love looked like.

“I take it that you had to use your womanly wiles to make him see reason?”

“And everything else I could think of,” Hawke answered and huffed, “Men are strange, you know. On one hand, Fenris knows that I can take on five guys at the same time and not even break a sweat. On the other, he sees me as a delicate flower that must be protected. Where’s the logic in that?”

Ellana glanced at the huge sword that was strapped on Hawke’s back. She had trouble believing anyone could think of her as someone who needed protection. If Varric’s stories had an ounce of truth in them, it was more likely that people and innocent monsters needed to be protected from her.

“I hear you,” she said, “And then they accuse us of having flawed logic.”

“Tell me about it,” Hawke said and rolled her eyes, “You wouldn’t believe some of the conversations we’ve had about that.”

“Colorful?” Ellana asked with a wide smile.

“To put it lightly. Though I have learned oh, so many Tevene curses.”

“Maybe you could teach me some, one of these days,” Ellana suggested, “The people here look at me funny, when I curse in common. Evidently, they find it a little bit insulting for the herald of Andraste to say something within the lines of ‘Andraste’s flaming nickers’ or ‘Andraste’s hairy ass’.”

Hawke actually smiled.

“That sounds like a plan,” she said, “Tell you what. We’ll go ahead and find my Warden friend. Hopefully he will tell us that all the Wardens suddenly felt the urge to go find pink, flying ponies to replace griffons, and that Corypheus has been eaten by his own dragon. Then I can teach you to curse like a Tevinter.”

“I like the sound of that,” Ellana said and laughed, “If they actually find those ponies, I want one.”

“I don’t. I don’t do pink.”

“Are you sure?” Ellana inquired, “I bet your sword would look very nice with a big, pink bow on it. Actually, I will get one for you as a thank you for helping me to curse in a more socially acceptable way.”

“Don’t you dare.”

“I wouldn’t put it past her, Hawke,” said Varric, who had returned just in time to hear the last few comments, “Inquisitor, what is this about cursing? Don’t you do that enough as it is?”

“Hawke has magnanimously promised to teach me some Tevene curses. I hear she has grown familiar with quite a few of them.”

“The Inquisitor, cursing in Tevene,” Varric shook his head, “What will you think of next?”

“We shall see. Hawke, it has been nice to meet you. I look forward to seeing you in Crestwood. I must be off,” Ellana said and jumped off the rampart. On the way, she turned into an owl and flew away.

“Does she always do that?” Hawke asked.

“Pretty much,” Varric answered.

“I like her.”

“I told you, that you would.”

\--

Ellana took some time the fly around Skyhold to get a good look at the fortress and the surrounding area. She had taken to heart Vivienne’s words about how Haven had not been easily defendable. Skyhold looked secure and steady, adamant. Once finished, it could house safely a lot of people.

Ellana soared threw the sky and landed on the balcony of the room that was appointed to her as the Inquisitor. She had yet to see it, but it was easy to spot, even from above. She turned into her elven form and took in the view. It was magnificent, especially in the sunset. Skyhold would be a great spot for a vacation. Sadly, she was here on business.

Ellana turned to look at the lock on the balcony doors. More like the pathetic excuse of a lock. It took her no time at all to pick it, walk in, and close the doors behind her. She marveled at the space. All this room, just for her? What would she do with it? She and Fen’Harel didn’t need this much space. Speaking of whom, she should probably go get him before going to sleep.

Ellana walked and hopped down the many stairs that led to her room. The great hall was still a little cluttered, but it wouldn’t remain so for long. She opened a door at the other end of the hall and encountered a heartwarming sight. Solas was crouched down next to Fen’Harel. The cub was on his back so that Solas could scratch his tummy. Solas had evidently found the perfect spot, since Fen’Harel’s left hind leg was wagging furiously. The cub’s tongue was hanging out and he looked to be in bliss. The expression on Solas’ face was open and warm. Ellana wasn’t sure if she had ever seen him look that carefree and uninhibited. She had to stop for a while to simply look at them both so happy.

“I’m glad to see that you two are enjoying yourselves,” she finally said.

Solas was startled and looked at her almost guiltily. Fen’Harel jumped up and came to beg petting from her. She obliged with a smile as Solas got up.

“It has been a long day,” Solas said, “You must be tired.”

“As must you. I intend to go to sleep as soon as I reach my bed, and I suggest you do the same.”

“I have every intention of doing so,” Solas responded.

“Will I see you tonight?” Ellana asked.

“I would like that,” Solas answered.

“Good night, and I’ll see you in a bit,” Ellana said and returned with Fen’Harel to her room.

It didn’t take Ellana long to fall asleep. She really was tired. As she entered the Fade, she created a log for herself to sit on while she waited for Solas. He stepped shortly into her dream.

“Where do you want to go?” Ellana asked.

“I have a place in mind,” Solas replied.

Ellana followed Solas and found herself in Haven. Not as it was now, buried under ‘half a mountain’, as Hawke had put it. But Haven as it had been, when the Inquisition lived there. Solas took her to the dungeon, where he had studied her mark and watched over her sleep. He described the mutual lack of trust between Cassandra and himself. He talked about his frustration in the face of all his failed attempts at closing the rifts. He had even considered leaving for some safe place, though, as Ellana pointed out, there hadn’t been many.

In the yard, Solas showed Ellana how he had felt when the first rift had been closed. It was different from how Ellana remembered it, but that was the nature of the Fade.

“And right then, I felt the whole world change,” Solas said in a dreamy voice.

“Felt the whole world changed?” Ellana liked the sound of that.

“A figure of speech.”

“I’m aware of the metaphor. I’m more interested in ‘felt’,” Ellana said and stepped closer to him.

“You change… Everything,” Solas said, and looked intently at Ellana.

“Sweet talker.”

Ellana gathered her courage. This was it. Solas seemed a little troubled and would clearly not do anything, even though he wanted to. So she stepped into his space, turned his head towards her and kissed him. As wonderful as it felt, she was afterwards a little embarrassed and moved to step away from him.

Solas shook his head and refused to let Ellana go. He pulled her into his arms to kiss her again. Where her kiss had been tentative and hesitant, his was eager and assured, yet gentle. Ellana responded in kind. She could feel her nerves firing in rapid speed in order the experience and remember all of it. The feeling of his lips on hers and his clever tongue dancing with hers. How his corded body felt pressed tightly against her lithe one. The way he dipped her and how she arched her back to follow his lead. The warmth of his hands on her back as he pulled her closer.

Ellana was disappointed that the kiss ended. Apparently, so was Solas, since he shook his head again and came back for seconds. This kiss didn’t last as long, but Ellana enjoyed it, all the same.

Solas ended the third kiss and seemed to have regained his senses. He stepped completely away from Ellana with a serious expression.

“We shouldn’t. It isn’t right, not even here,” he said.

“What do you mean?” Ellana asked. She was confused at his sudden change of heart.

“That’s a topic that is better to be discussed after you wake up,” Solas said.

Ellana woke up. It was still night, so she tried to go back to sleep. It wasn’t easy, since she kept replaying those kisses in her mind. It had been amazing to see Solas for once lose his cool and let his feelings show. He was a passionate person, it was clear when you heard him talk about anything he was interested in, but that passion was usually tucked safely away. Ellana was pleased that she had been able to see him like that. What did not please her, however, was that he had shut the moment down and regained his cool. Before she fell asleep again, Ellana wished that he would return to her dream, but she knew that he would not.

The morning light woke Ellana up for the second time. Solas had sadly not revisited her dreams. She got up, made her bed, petted Fen’Harel, and went downstairs for breakfast. Cassandra and Cullen were already at the table, so Ellana gathered some food and joined them. She gave Fen’Harel his breakfast and let the cub eat in peace.

“Morning, Cassandra. Cullen, I take it that you, too, are an early riser?” Ellana said as she sat at the table.

Cassandra grunted.

“Do you have to start the dirty talk so early? I have hardly begun my breakfast,” she said.

Ellana looked at her, wide-eyed.

“I didn’t mean that to sound dirty. I simply meant to express that Cullen is in the habit of waking up early, as I know you to be from all the mornings spent in the woods,” she said, “Though your comment has made me think that it may be you, whose mind is dirty, not me.”

Cassandra blushed and Cullen coughed in his hand in a way that suggested he was trying not to laugh.

“Though thank you,” Ellana said with a radiant smile, “This might be a good day, after all.”

They ate and discussed now and again about the things that needed to be done right away and what could wait for a while. Cassandra’s blush disappeared by and by. When Ellana was finished, she thanked the others for their company, got up, and took her dishes away. The first item on her to-do list was to find Solas.

Solas was not hard to find. Ellana and Fen’Harel came across him in the same spot she had found him the previous night.

“Sleep well?” Solas asked.

“I’ve never done anything like that before. On a number of levels,” Ellana answered, “Not that I mind.”

“I apologize. The kiss was impulsive and ill considered, and I should not have encouraged it,” Solas said.

Ellana felt her face fall. Had she read him wrong? Was he not interested at all? If he was not, why had he kissed her back?

“If you are not interested, or if you feel like I am pressuring you, just say so,” she said.

“No, you’re not. I am perhaps pressuring myself. And I am interested,” he said, “It has been a long time, and things have always been easier for me in the Fade. I am not certain this is the best idea. It could lead to trouble.”

“I’m willing to take that chance, if you are,” Ellana promised.

“I… May be, yes. If I could take a little time to think. There are… Considerations.” Solas sounded a little awkward. At times he spoke really fast and then made some strange pauses. But the message got through.

“Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you,” Solas said, sounding relieved, “I am not often thrown by things that happen in dreams.”

“Sounds like you need some better dreams,” Ellana said and winked at him, “I would be happy to help you with that anytime. All you need to do is ask.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Ellana left Solas to his morning routines, whatever they were. While she was happy to know that Solas might be open to spending more time together, she was a little confused. What were those considerations? She would have liked to know but he must have his reasons for not sharing them with her. She understood that he had not had anyone for a long time. Neither had she. It was a big change to go from a solitary existence to letting someone into your life, even a little at a time. She could be patient. Still, she had to agree with Hawke. Men were strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has more in-game dialogue than most, for which I am sorry. I felt it necessary in these situations.
> 
> This chapter also marks the last day of my summer vacation. Tomorrow I have to go back to work, which will sadly eat into my non-work-related writing (ie. this). That means I will probably not be able to update as often as I have, but I have no intention of quitting, since I am quite fond of some of the ideas I have for this story.
> 
> Thank you for reading and kudos!


	14. Damp Dabbles

”These things are surprisingly sprightly for corpses,” Ellana commented.

“Got that right,” said Sera and leaped back to evade one of said corpses. “Must feel like home to Dorian, what with all the blood magic and bodies and such?”

“Yes, there’s blood magic in Tevinter, but it is considered bad form to leave decomposing corpses, where someone can see them. It’s unseemly,” Dorian replied, “I mean – look at these thigs! And that smell! Don’t you dare touch me, you’ll ruin my robe!”

“Not to worry, your robe had no chance against this rain,” Bull yelled from further away, “One more good reason to wear armor.”

“There isn’t much point for a mage to wear armor,” Dorian answered, “It’s too heavy, it’s in the way, and it’s ugly.”

“How’s that important?” Sera asked.

“Oh, it’s important, trust me,” Dorian said.

“I think we are done,” Ellana said as she dispatched with the last corpse.

“About time,” Dorian said and Sera nodded.

Ellana made a sketch of the rune on the beacon and they continued onwards. They had spent the last few days in Fallow Mire in search for a group of Inquisition soldiers, who had gone missing. After everything that happened in Haven, the Inquisition could use every piece of good news they could get. People had been devastated by the destruction that had been wreaked. They needed a win. Saving some of their own from the hands of the Avvar would certainly qualify as a win.

“Bull, are you familiar with the Avvar?” Ellana asked.

“Some,” Bull said, “They live in aggressive clans that keep to their own company and beliefs. They hate the Vints almost as much as we do. No offence.”

“None taken,” Dorian replied.

“Why do they want to fight me?” Ellana moaned, “Why does everyone want to fight me? I don’t want to fight anyone.”

“Of course they want to fight you,” Dorian said, “You are the biggest and meanest thing around.”

“Thanks a lot. Now you made me feel fat and cruel.”

“It’s a compliment,” Bull said, “It means that you’re the ultimate badass. If they beat you, they’re the biggest badass.”

“I have trouble believing anyone could think so much of her when she looks like that,” Sera said.

Ellana gave Sera a murderous look but thought that she was right. The rain in Fallow Mire had been nonstop, and they had been attacked so often that it made no sense to keep a barrier up to avoid getting wet.

“I think Dorian is not the only one whose clothes are going to be ruined after this trip,” Ellana said.

“Why is it always raining? Couldn’t we for once go someplace nice and sunny, with beach and drinks and busty girls in skimpy clothes?” Sera begged.

“That sounds good, I want to go, too,” Bull said.

Ellana patted Fen’Harel and then swiped her hand on her clothes absent-mindedly. The cub was as wet as the rest of them.

“I am sorry that the people who kidnap our people are not considerate enough to choose a better locale. Promise me that if you get taken, you’ll make sure that the place in which you are held is much nicer than this.”

“I promise,” Dorian said with a raised hand, “If they take me anywhere that is sub bar, I will scare them with the thought of you, and make them take me somewhere nicer. I will make them my slaves, until you rescue me, and then we can kill them all.”

“Thank you, Dorian,” Ellana said, “I appreciate it.”

They continued their way through the uninhabited landscape. The plague had made a mess of the whole place. The huts had either been abandoned by their residents or become their last resting place. Except in the case of the undead, who kept appearing.

The undead were gross, but Ellana was a little glad to be fighting them because it meant that someone or something had already killed them. It wasn’t her fault that they were dead. She could almost enjoy the battle and the skills she had acquired during her time with the Inquisition. She had learned many new spells from Solas, Dorian, and even Vivienne. She would learn much more from Commander Helaine as soon as she could finish her assignment.

“Sera, watch out!” 

Ellana’s warning was too late. The rogue had stepped in water again.

“Son of a bitch!” Sera swore and readied her bow.

“Correct me if I am wrong,” Dorian said as he cast, “But aren’t rogues supposed to be light on their feet?”

“Shut up,” Sera muttered and shot, “I’m wet and tired, and it’s slippery and dark. This whole bloody place is water, there’s no way to avoid it.”

“You’re right,” Ellana said, “Dorian, behind you!”

“I’ve got it,” said Bull and pulled away the corpse that had been creeping up on the mage.

“Thank you,” Dorian said and cast a barrier.

The fight didn’t last long and they survived with minor cuts and bruises. It had been a long day, though, and all of them were tired. They found a sheltered valley that was perfect for camping.

“This is good enough. Let’s stay here,” Ellana said, “We need to collect herbs, hunt for food, and put the tents up. Any takers?”

“Why do we need to collect those awful plants all the time? It’s raining!” Sera complained.

“Alright, we don’t need to,” Ellana said.

“Yey!”

“You just need to be careful not to get hurt, because we are running out of health potions and if you get hurt and we don’t have one, we will soon be fighting your reanimated corpse,” Ellana said and shrugged, “I would rather not have to do that, but it is your choice.”

“Fine, I’ll go find your bloody herbs,” Sera huffed and disappeared.

“Fen’Harel and I can hunt for food, but I’d rather have a big, strapping man with us to carry the carcass to the camp,” Ellana said.

“I’d rather do that than play with the tents,” Bull said and followed Ellana.

“I’ll handle the tents,” Dorian promised, “Good luck trying to find something besides the corpses.”

Ellana, Fen’Harel, and Bull were lucky. They found an animal that was tough to kill but had enough meat for them all.

“What do you think that’s called?” Ellana asked as they were walking back to the camp.

“I’ve no clue,” Bull answered, “But it doesn’t matter as long as it's edible.”

“You are a wise man, Bull,” Ellana said.

“Among other things,” he said and flashed her a grin.

When they returned, Dorian and Sera already had a fire going. It didn’t take them long to prep the animal and stake it for roasting. The smell was delicious.

“This is almost cosy,” Dorian said as they were sitting around the fire, “If only it did not rain. Say, Inquisitor, is this what it is like at a Dalish camp?”

“Nah, too few unresolved issues,” Ellana said, “Too little sex going on in the background.”

“We could remedy that,” Bull suggested.

“I believe the part about the unresolved issues, but you are screwing with us about the sex part, aren’t you?” Dorian asked.

“Some,” Ellana admitted, “Though, tell me honestly – how do people in Tevinter deal with their unresolved issues?”

“By scheming, backstabbing, and blood magic. The usual.”

“You’re shitting us? No sex involved?” Sera asked. She sounded disappointed.

“Oh, there’s sex, alright. We just don’t use it as a weapon. We do it for fun or for the performance of duty.”

“Dutiful sex?” Sera snorted, “Sounds boring.”

“I believe it is,” Dorian replied, “It’s like breeding horses. Feeling has nothing to do with producing the ultimate heir.”

“I have a feeling I would not like Tevinter,” Ellana said.

“Sex needs to be fun,” Sera said and pointed at Ellana, “She gets it. How about you, Horny?”

“Sex isn’t a big deal with the Qunari,” Bull answered, “You want some? You can get some, anytime.”

“Mmm, I like that,” Sera said.

“The Dalish are nowadays big on commitment before doing it like bunnies,” Ellana said.

“Nowadays?” Dorian asked, “Do tell.”

“Well,” Ellana said, “There was a time when the Dalish thought that the more the merrier – let’s have kids and forget about this commitment nonsense. At first, it seemed to work. But the Dalish live in clans. They see the same people again and again. Somebody always got jealous. When the children grew old enough to start their own sexual escapades, it became a problem that they didn’t know, who their parents were. They could be sibling for all they knew. After much confusion and lots of arguments, most of the clans returned to commitment. I, for one, am happy for that.”

“Most of the clans?” Dorian asked.

“Yes, there are still some polygamous clans out there,” Ellana said, “Although they have had to branch out to get a wider gene pool. You do not want to see some of the kids they have produced. They seem to think it’s worth it to keep the orgy going. Some of the other clans question whether they are Dalish anymore or not.”

“So that’s were all those rumors come from,” Bull said.

“Yes.”

“Some of them are true, then,” Dorian said.

“Yes.”

Sera laughed at Ellana’s embarrassment.

“How about we eat this strange creature?” Ellana suggested.

“Where can I find one of the orgy clans? I wanna join!” Sera said.

“You hate the Dalish.”

“Yeah, those boring, superior ones. The sexy ones sound fun.”

“If I come across one, I will be sure to let you know,” Ellana promised and rolled her eyes. She took a sip of water.

“If there are more like that, maybe even Solas would wanna join.”

Now it was Ellana’s turn to inhale her drink and cough it out.

“Excuse me?”

“I bet he would stay awake more. And would lose that stick that’s up his arse.”

“He does look like he could use a good fuck,” Bull agreed.

“If you say so,” Ellana said, “Regardless of what this meat is, it is good.”

“Though it is sad that I can’t name all the weird creatures I have eaten,” Dorian said.

“That’s such a naughty mage thing to say,” Sera said, “Where have you found these weird creatures you have eaten?”

Ellana was thankful that the others agreed to change the subject. Their supper was accompanied by friendly banter. The meal was so plentiful that they even had some scraps leftover for the next day. Everyone was so tired that they went to bed straight after they had eaten.

Ellana fell asleep without trouble. She was walking in a beautiful, evergreen forest, when Solas stepped from behind one of the trees.

“Lavellan, it is good to see you,” he said.

“You, too.”

“How are you faring?”

“We have yet to find the missing soldiers, though we have heard that they have been captured by the Avvar. Their leader wants to fight me because of my bloody title.”

“Of course.”

“Everyone says that,” Ellana huffed, “Anyhow, it’s very dreary and dull here. It rains all the time. We keep getting attacked by the undead. You haven’t missed a thing. But I did find some useful runes.”

“I am glad to hear it,” Solas replied.

“Has your research been successful?”

“Not yet. I have been reading so much that I am developing a headache,” Solas said and rubbed his head absent-mindedly.

“I am sorry,” Ellana said gently and stepped closer to him. She cradled his head into her hands and got on tiptoes to kiss his forehead. Solas embraced her and they stayed like that for a while.

“Did you wish to talk to me about something?” Ellana asked from his arms.

“Yes,” Solas said.

Ellana turned her head to look him in the eye.

“I wanted to tell you that I missed you.”

“I missed you, too, Solas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that Julius Ceasar actually did what Dorian promised to do if he was ever kidnapped? That was one badass dude.


	15. Aren't Families Fun?

The morning brought no end to the rain. Regardless, Ellana was in such a good mood that she kept whistling.

“Sounds like someone had some good dreams,” Dorian said.

Ellana just smiled at him. She wanted to smile at the world.

“No one should be that happy in the morning. It’s bloody unnatural,” said the grumpy Sera, who was not a morning person, “Especially in this rain. Every blasted thing I have is cold and soaking wet!”

“They will dry, eventually,” Ellana replied, still smiling.

“That’s no bloody comfort.”

“How about I tell you more about the sexy Dalish while we try to find the people who want to kill us?” Ellana suggested.

“Fine.”

“’The’ people who want to kill us?” Dorian asked, “Isn’t that practically everyone these days?”

“The two of you are determined to bring me down, aren’t you?”

“He’s right, though,” Bull said, “The number of enemies you have amassed is actually pretty impressive.”

“All I wanted to do was save the world,” Ellana said dramatically and shook her head.

“Drama queen,” Sera huffed.

“Me? Did you not see Corypheus? Did you not see his dragon and hear the speech?”

“No,” Sera answered, “I was helping people not get killed.”

“That’s right. It was just me. But believe me, that was one major drama queen,” Ellana said, “If I ever go bad, I will be efficient about it. No talking, just killing, and then I’ll be done. No muss, no fuss, no mountain on my head.”

“You’ll still have a dragon, though, won’t you?” Dorian asked.

“Oh, I will most definitely have a dragon.”

“Good,” Bull said.

“But a cute dragon, with a pink bow on it. I will name it Cuddles.”

“I would pay to see that,” Dorian said and laughed.

They left the camp and traveled onwards in search of the Avvar. Ellana told them true and false rumors about the Dalish and made them guess, which was which. Dorian continued in the same vein with stories about the Tevinters. Most of them were so outrageous and entertaining that even Sera brightened up considerably despite the rain and the corpses that wanted to experience the afterlife after the afterlife.

The stronghold of the Avvar was in the ass-end of nowhere. To get there, they had to wade through a forest of corpses that were particularly angry at them for no apparent reason. Fen’Harel had to tackle quite of few that got too close to Ellana while she cast to protect the others. It was a relief, when they were finally able to close the gate on the walking dead.

As they walked into the stronghold, the Avvar chief, or “The Hand of Korth”, as he called himself, issued the challenge and charged.

“I take it back,” Sera said, as she shot down one of the archers, “He’s the drama queen.”

“I hear you,” Ellana agreed, as she zapped the chief with electricity, “If I start going around calling myself the herald of Andraste and talking about myself in the third person, you can shoot me.”

“Who’s the third person?”

“That’s what it is called if I say something like, ‘the herald of Andraste wants to see you die’, ‘the herald of Andraste will not stand for this outrage’, ‘the herald of Andraste is too bloody important to speak like regular people’,” Ellana explained in falsetto.

“If you start talking like a noble, arrows. Got it.”

The Hand of Korth was not a battle strategist. He charged and hit, charged and hit. As long as you stayed away from him, you were good. If you let him get too close, you were in trouble. Bull had to take many blows while the others attacked from a safe distance but they managed to defeat the chief. They found Inquisition soldiers, who were locked in a backroom.

“It’s the herald! I can’t believe she came for us,” one of them said.

“I told you she would,” another one replied.

“It wasn’t just me, it was a group effort,” Ellana said, embarrassed, “Everyone wanted to get you safely back. Are you injured?”

“Not too much. We have some cuts and bruises, but nothing life-threatening.”

“That’s good. The camp isn’t far away, you can rest there.”

On their way to the camp, they ran into the Skywatcher they had met earlier. He agreed to work for the Inquisition.

“This turned out pretty good,” Dorian said as they traveled.

“I think so, too,” Ellana agreed, “I hope that we are done with this business.”

When they returned to Skyhold, Ellana was proven wrong. An Avvar was brought to justice for throwing a goat at Skyhold.

“Tell me I heard you wrong,” Ellana begged Josephine in disbelief, “He threw a goat at the fortress?”

“Yes,” Josephine answered.

“Why would you do that?”

“You killed my idiot son. I reacted according to our custom, by smearing your house with goat’s blood,” the Avvar replied. He told that his idiot son was supposed to attack Tevinter instead of the Inquisition.

Ellana was baffled. The ‘crime’ was so peculiar that it demanded a peculiar punishment. The Avvar were formidable and warlike. They hated Tevinter and Tevinter had venatori. So, Ellana armed the Avvar and banished them to Tevinter. The old man seemed pleased, and he was not the only one.

“That was a clever political move,” Josephine said as the Avvar had been taken away.

“I am learning the ways of the world,” Ellana answered, “What an odd way of avenging your kin. How would the Orlesians go about it?”

“We would contact the House of Repose,” Josephine replied, “That is what they are for.”

“The House of Repose? That sounds like an old folk’s home or a whorehouse.”

“They are a superb guild of assassins,” Josephine explained.

“How very Orlesian,” Ellana said.

“How would the Dalish handle losing their kinsman?” Josephine asked.

“It varies. Some would get bloody revenge, others would just weep, tell stories, and feel wronged by the whole world.”

“Not all would try to avenge their family?” Josephing sounded a little surprised.

“To the Dalish, the whole clan is family,” Ellana explained, “Most keepers are wise enough to realize that revenge tends to get more people killed. But the ones that are lost are sincerely mourned.”

“I see.”

Ellana left Josephine and ran into mother Giselle. Ellana had liked the mother at first, but Giselle had lost her respect little by little. This incident did nothing to fix that. Giselle wanted Ellana to deceive Dorian in order to get him to meet his family. The mother showed Ellana a letter sent by his father. Ellana refused to trick Dorian and decided that he should be able to make his own decision about the right course of action.

Dorian was furious. There was evidently a river of bad blood between him and his family. He did want to see what the letter was about, so she promised to go with him to the meeting in Redcliffe. Since it was a family matter, Ellana thought it best that just the two of them would go. It wouldn’t take too long to take a trip to Redcliffe and back.

“Do you want to tell me, what the problem with you and your family is?” Ellana asked as they rode, “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to tell me.”

“They wanted the perfect heir, but they got me,” Dorian said, sounding bitter.

“Why are you not the perfect heir?”

“Because I refuse to follow their precious plans,” Dorian said, “I prefer the company of men. I don’t want to get into some sham of a marriage just to please my relatives.”

“And they don’t like that?”

“No, they don’t.”

“You don’t want the ‘dutiful sex’, as Sera put it.”

Dorian burst into laughter.

“No, I don’t.”

“That’s understandable,” Ellana said.

“Not to my parents,” Dorian said, “I am the product of dutiful sex. They don’t understand, why I would want to break tradition.”

“Your family sounds fun.”

“Oh, they’re a hoot.”

Redcliffe was much subdued by the absence of the rebel mages, though people were still talking about them and the dangers of magic. Ellana and Dorian did not receive many friendly looks. Either they did not recognize Ellana as the Inquisitor, or they did not care. They had grown bitter. Only the people Ellana had personally helped appeared happy to see her.

It was no family retainer that waited for them in the inn. It was magister Pavus himself. Dorian’s father was surprised to see the Inquisitor, but pleased to see his son. Dorian, on the other hand, was not thrilled, but Ellana convinced him to talk to his father. She left the men to talk things out by themselves while she waited outside.

Dorian stepped through the door and Ellana followed him to their horses. They rode some time in perfect silence.

“You know, he tried to use blood magic on me,” Dorian said all of a sudden, “He wanted to change me.”

“What, just now?” Ellana asked, shocked.

“Not now, obviously, before I left.”

“That’s horrible. I’m so sorry, Dorian.”

“He always used to tell me that blood magic was the refuge of the weak. And the first instance something goes against his will, he goes and does that.”

“I can’t believe someone would do that,” Ellana said and shook her head.

“Well, you’re innocent. And probably had a happy, loving family.”

“My family sold me to another clan, Dorian.”

“I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

“How could you have known?”

“Why would they do something like that?” Dorian asked.

“They were afraid of me, like most people are.”

“Such marvelous families we have,” Dorian huffed.

“Well, I have heard it said that ‘friends are the Creators’ way of apologizing to us for our families’,” Ellana quoted.

“I like that,” Dorian said and nodded his head slowly, “Inquisitor, I want you to know that I consider you a friend. I don’t have many friends and I never thought I would find one here.”

“Right back at you, Dorian,” Ellana replied with a smile, “My family was shitty, that’s true, but the last few months with the Inquisition and all of you have made me feel well compensated for it. And if I am ever in Tevinter, I will go to your father’s house and throw a goat at it, if you wish me to. Although, I will have to find a really small goat or ask Bull for help. Nevertheless, I will do it.”

“That’s… Odd. Why would you do that?”

Ellana told him about the Avvar chieftain and they had a good laugh about it. The rest of the way was spent in lighter conversation and they arrived in Skyhold in good humor. They parted in the hall. Dorian headed to his room and Ellana found that her steps took her to the rotunda. Solas was sitting at his desk with Fen’Harel at his feet.

“How was your outing with Dorian?” Solas asked without looking up. He seemed engrossed in whatever it was that he was reading.

“You know, the usual – family drama, collecting herbs, being robbed of our clothes,” Ellana answered and enjoyed the sight of Solas’ gaze snapping up involuntarily.

“Come again?”

“If you are offering, I would love to.”

Solas leaned his face into his palm. The tips of his ears were a little pink.

“I see that you have returned to your usual brand of humor,” he said in an overly collected voice.

“I just wanted to get your attention,” Ellana said and walked closer, “I was feeling a little down for being deemed less interesting than a book.”

“This is a book about the history of elves in Tevinter,” Solas said, “It’s so inaccurate that it’s amusing.”

“That does sound interesting – and entertaining. I won’t make you choose,” Ellana said and sat on the edge of his desk, “Why don’t you tell me what it says?”

Solas smiled at her and read on, out loud, this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families." The Internet tells me that this is a quote by Tennessee Williams.


	16. The Hat with The Boy

Ellana was getting sore sitting on the desk, so she jumped off and left Solas to practically giggle at the inaccuracies of the assumed history book. Ellana liked to think that she may have had something to do with that. A few months back, Solas would probably have been offended by that sort of thing. If she had succeeded in helping him see the humor in tragedy, that was a good thing. Ellana called Fen’Harel to follow her and went outside. She found Cole sitting on the edge of a rampart, looking at the healers and their charges.

As Ellana drew close, Cole began reiterating the thoughts of a healer. She was sad and tired, both physically and mentally, and she blamed herself for something or other. Ellana asked, whether Cole could hear everyone’s thoughts.

“No, they have to need me,” Cole answered, “I hear pain, fear, sadness, guilt, anger, hurt. Things I can fix.”

“You really are a spirit of compassion,” Ellana said. It wasn’t much, but she had to say something.

“Yes,” Cole said.

“I don’t know if it means anything to you, but I want you to know that I appreciate what you do,” Ellana said, “It must be difficult to feel all that all the time. To see past the masks people wear, to the pain within. And to know that no matter, how much you help, there will be no end to the people in pain.”

“I can help.”

Ellana watched as Cole made the healer feel better. He had to try twice, but he did succeed. Must be nice, Ellana thought. There were many things she would have loved to redo. Cole returned to her side.

“You can help,” Ellana agreed, “I don’t know, whether to be envious of you or feel sorry for you.”

“You can help, too. And you do,” Cole said and his hat turned towards her, “You help so many people. Even when you don’t see it, you help, just by being you.”

“That is kind of you to say.”

They were silent for a moment. Ellana looked at the infirmary and petted Fen’Harel. Cole stared into the distance.

“Do you really believe, what you said to that woman?” Ellana asked, “About there being no reason for what happens?”

“It helps,” he said.

“That is not really an answer.”

“Varric has stories. People like stories. They make sense.”

“I know.”

Ellana also knew that she wasn’t going to get a more accurate answer from the spirit. He was saying that the world made no sense whatsoever, but since most people could not deal with that, they needed stories in which the world seemed coherent and somewhat predictable. It helped them cope. She should know, she was the bloody herald of Andraste.

Ellana was impressed that despite such a grim view of reality, Cole still was willing to help people, over and over again. Well, Cole was a spirit of compassion, that was, what such entities did. Most people who lost faith in the meaning of life acted accordingly – like there was no meaning to what they did. She had met some. They were not pleasant.

Ellana believed that, absent they might be, the Creators somehow watched over her. There had to be some reason for the things that happened. If not for the little things, then for the bigger things, at least. The reality was not as neat as stories, that was true. But there had to be something beyond random coincidences. Even if it was merely something she made herself. Things may happen to her at random, but she would take them as opportunities to grow, to help, to do something that had meaning.

It was growing late. Ellana decided that it might be nice do read something light and entertaining for a change. She bid Cole good night, called Fen’Harel, and made her way to the library. It appeared that Dorian had had the same idea as her, but had been ambushed by mother Giselle, who “clucked at him like a hen”.

Ellana sighed and stopped to find out, what was going on. Mother Giselle gave her an earful of the undue influence of “that man” and the public opinion against Tevinters. Ellana had really had it with her this time.

“Oh, that’s terrible. The public opinion is against Tevinter? Everyone can’t be wrong?”

Giselle was taken aback by Ellana’s tone of voice. Dorian was waiting eagerly, what would follow.

“Say, what is the public opinion concerning the Dalish heretics? And apostates? How about Dalish apostates?”

“I did not mean to offend,” Giselle said.

“With all due respect, which, at this point in time, is very little: Yes, you did,” Ellana said, “If people have a problem with Dorian, they really should have a bigger problem with me. I am the heretical elf in the lead, who’s even an apostate, to top it off. There’s no need to look further for stuff for the rumor mill, there are much more juicy stories about me. You can tell them that I was sold by my family to another clan for my magical abilities. Some would call that slavery. And I have by now killed so many people that I’ve lost count. And I’m not a virgin. You can tell them that and see, if they still care about the people following me. If that’s not enough, I can tell more, believe me.”

“Inquisitor,” Giselle was trying to pacify her, but Ellana still had more to say.

“I take the responsibility and make the big choices. I say that this problem is bigger than any of us,” Ellana said, “We need to defeat Corypheus before he destroys the whole of Thedas. Anyone, who can help and wants to do it, is welcome. Regardless of nationality, religion, birth, or whatever the fuck is that seems to be your problem with Dorian. If that is not agreeable to you, you can take your butt-ugly hat and go elsewhere. What you mustn’t do, is come here to insult my friends and invoke public opinion. As far as I am concerned, public opinion is what caused the war between mages and templars in the first place.”

“I am sorry. I will not bring this up again. Good night,” Giselle said and left.

Ellana was still burning in righteous fury, when Dorian grabbed her into a hug.

“You are magnificent,” he boomed.

“I’m pissed off, that’s what I am,” Ellana grunted, still upset, “How dare she? Who is she to say that someone can’t help save the world, because she doesn’t like, who they are or where they come from? If she doesn’t want to help, she can fuck off for all I care.”

“I think she got the message. Everyone did,” added a new voice.

Ellana looked up to see Solas leaning on a bookcase near the stairwell. It wasn’t until then that she realized, how loud she must have been. And where she had made her thoughts known. Everyone really must have heard her.

“I may have been a wee bit louder than necessary,” Ellana said, a little embarrassed.

“You very rather vehement,” Solas said. He was smiling.

“You were marvelous,” Dorian repeated and squeezed Ellana again before letting her go.

“I do think I was right, though,” Ellana said, but she sounded defeated.

Solas stepped closer, took her hand, and squeezed it.

“You were right,” he assured her, “And the way you expressed yourself should leave no one in doubt of what you think. Everyone should help. If the public opinion says otherwise, it is not worth listening to.”

“I agree,” Doriand echoed him, “The way you said it was very you. Not everyone would shout at a Chantry mother – and a fortress full of people – that they are not a virgin anymore. That’s usually something that is confessed in private.”

“Oh, bloody Beyond, I did shout that, didn’t I?”

Ellana blushed deep red and Solas laughed out loud.

“This kind of stuff is why it would be useful to be like Cole,” Ellana said, still red, “Do you know he can redo the stuff he does by making you forget him? I wish I could do that.”

“Don’t say that,” Dorian said, “I wouldn’t want to forget a word of what you said. It was priceless. I wish Varric wrote it down.”

“I bet he did,” Ellana answered.

“There might be an echo of it in the Fade,” Solas said, sounding thoughtful, “I will see.”

“Not you, too,” Ellana grunted and butted his shoulder with her fist.

“Could you show it to me if you find something?” Dorian asked, intrigued.

“This is good. Since no one seems to be listening to me, it is possible, that no one heard what I said,” Ellana said, “I am going to bed now. Good night, and you two enjoy your shared dream.”

Ellana took a small victory in how baffled the men looked when she left, Fen’Harel trailing after her. When she was walking to her room, she felt like everyone was trying hard not to look at her. She went quietly to bed and wished that she would not dream of this day. She’d had better ones.

Ellana fell asleep. She found herself in the Fade. She walked through a lush forest and came to a cliff. The view was spectacular. The setting sun had colored the entire sky in various hues of red and purple. She sat on the edge of the cliff to just stare at the sky.

Ellana heard movement and saw Cole arrive. He sat next to her. His hat was even bigger in the Fade.

“Hello, Cole,” she said.

The brim of the hat bobbed up and down.

“You sensed I was feeling something you can fix?”

The brim bobbed again.

“Are you here to fix it, then?”

The hat swiveled from right to left and back.

“You know I can fix it myself.”

The brim bobbed.

“I am not sure if you know this, but it is not a conversation, when the other person says nothing.”

“I like you,” Cole said.

“You like me?” Ellana was surprised.

“You hurt, but you fix it and smile. Others hurt, but you fix it and make them smile. I can help, but I don’t know, how to make people smile.”

“That’s not true. You just made me smile,” Ellana said and smiled.

They sat silently for a while, staring at the sky.

“Cole, I have to ask,” Ellana finally said, “What’s with the hat?”

“I like it.”

“Why do you like it? One can hardly see you from under it.”

“That’s why. It’s not important, what I look like. It’s important, what I do,” Cole said and the hat turned towards Ellana, “You understand.”

“I really do,” Ellana nodded, “When people see you, they focus on the hat. They don’t go about making all kinds of silly images of you in their heads, making you larger than life.”

“You shine,” Cole said.

“People keep saying that,” Ellana huffed, “But I don’t see it. Not beyond the green glow of the anchor.”

“You should see it.”

“Could you show me?” Ellana asked.

The brim bobbed and a mirror appeared close to them. Ellana got up, walked in front of it, and looked into it. There was an image looking back at her. She guessed that it must be her, since most of the features seemed familiar. The shine was noticeable. The other version of her was dressed in a dark green robe that had intricate golden motifs of leaves and halla. There was some Chantry imagery there for who knows why. The image was more feminine than she was, with an ample bosom and a beautifully curved hip. The hair was longer and done in a way that covered her ears. The vallaslin was paler than in reality, whereas the eyes seemed even bigger. For some reason, she had a huge sword instead of a staff. There was a small, golden tiara on her head. And a halo.

“A halo, really?”

Cole had come closer to take in Ellana’s reaction.

“This is what people think I look like?”

“In a way,” Cole said.

“Who is responsible for that halo?” Ellana asked, “It’s sodding Sera, isn’t it? She keeps calling me goody goody.”

The hat made a movement to indicate that Cole had shrugged. As Ellana stared at the picture with a determined expression and tapped her foot, they got company.

“This is fascinating. Where are we now?”

“We are in Lavellan’s dream.”

“Please, do come in, don’t bother knocking or anything,” Ellana yelled at Dorian and Solas, “Actually, I am happy to see you. Maybe either or the both of you can explain this to me.”

The men walked closer.

“It’s a mirror.”

Ellana glared at Dorian in a way that made it absolutely clear that this was not the answer she had been looking for. They came closer and looked into the mirror.

“It’s you,” Dorian said.

“How is that me?”

“You are the hero. People see you as such. That is what a hero looks like,” Solas said.

“She has a halo, for crying out loud! And a sword! Why does she have a sword?”

“People are afraid of mages,” Dorian said, “You’ve said it yourself.”

“She’s more attractive than I am.”

“That’s the whole ‘people want to bang the herald of Andraste’ thing Bull keeps talking about,” Dorian said, “Besides, I think you are just as beautiful she is.”

“Yeah, right,” Ellana said, unconvinced, “It doesn’t matter. I am what I am. People can see me how they please. I just wish they were more clear-sighted, that’s all.”

Ellana turned away from the mirror and resumed sitting on the edge. The others followed her lead.

“So, how was my ill-considered speech in the Fade? Any good?”

“Grand,” Dorian answered.

“It was surprisingly well remembered,” Solas said and gave Cole a look, “It appears that many spirits are interested in you.”

The brim bobbed.

“You could have a spirit orgy,” Dorian chuckled, “If you do, you must invite me. Some of those desire demons are just delectable.”

“I think I’ll pass, Dorian,” Ellana said, “But you go ahead and have fun. I am good, sitting right here, looking at the sun.”

Especially with Solas holding her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hide helmet" is not available to Ellana.


	17. Sweet Support

Crestwood turned out to be yet another proof that the Breach had turned everything into a nightmare. The place was dark and damp, overshadowed by what had recently felt to Ellana like an ever present storm. Because that wasn’t enough, it was filled with undead. Maybe they had run out of every other kind of monster. Not that the undead didn’t suit the landscape. The area was so scantly habited that a living person stuck out like a sore thumb. 

“Cassandra, you don’t like the dead,” Cole said. He said things like that at random.

“I doubt many people do,” the warrior answered.

“I prefer it, when they stay dead,” Ellana commented, “It saves us the trouble of having to kill them again.”

“Think of it as practice,” Solas suggested.

“I prefer training dummies. They don’t smell or ooze or make that noise,” Ellana said and shivered.

“Training dummies don’t hit back.”

“That one on a spring does,” Cole said, “You hit it, it hits you. Like a person.”

“Solas, do you have any idea, why these corpses are here?” Cassandra asked.

“It must be that sizeable rift in the lake. It has weakened the Veil,” he replied, “I assume the people of Crestwood will be able to tell us more.”

“I hope we can find a live one,” Ellana grumbled as they came across more undead.

Before they found any local citizens, they found two Grey Wardens. That was not a good thing, because they were searching for the same man as the Inquisition. Fortunately, they had not found him yet.

The village of Crestwood was small and insignificant. There were only a few houses and even less people to be seen out and about. Even the denizens seemed to have given up on the place. Ellana and the others found the mayor’s house and asked him about the situation.

According to the mayor, the old village of Crestwood had flooded about a decade ago, during the Blight, courtesy of darkspawn. The rift had opened in the lake, presumably in the caves under the lake. If they wanted to close it, they needed to use the dam controls. To get to the controls, they would have to take the keep from bandits that had set camp there. It was a big, bloody mess that needed to be fixed. Ellana sighed. The Inquisitor to the rescue.

“Was there ever a time, when people took care of their own problems?” Ellana asked as they walked towards the keep.

“No,” Solas replied curtly.

It didn’t take them long to reach the keep. When they were in front of it, Ellana stopped.

“Hello, random bandits,” she yelled through the door, “This is the Inquisitor.”

“Yeah, right,” came a muffled reply and some laughter.

“This really is Inquisitior Lavellan, the herald of Andraste,” Ellana yelled and rolled her eyes, “I do not wish to harm you, but I am coming in. If you cherish your life, you will surrender now.”

“Sure, love, why don’t you come in and we’ll show you a good time!”

“Tsk, tsk,” Ellana said in a disapproving voice and broke the door with one spell. Sad splinters flew about as Ellana and the others rushed in. The bandits were not men of their word – Ellana did not have a good time. She despised killing, yet they made her do it and did not even give her much of a challenge. Even Fen’Harel seemed a little disappointed at their lack of pluck. He hardly managed to bring down and savage a bandit before the victim was dead. No wonder so many people seemed to want a second go-around here. The first one must have been quite a let-down.

After the bandits were dead, they claimed the keep for the Inquisition, and went to find the dam controls. Before that, they found something else.

“Put some clothes on, will you?”

They had walked in on a young couple going at it. Cassandra turned beetroot red, Cole was confused, and Solas looked to be very interested in the flooring. The young people were startled, but stopped messing around and put some clothes on.

“How did you get past the guard?” Ellana asked, looking very intently at the ceiling.

“There was no guard when we came.”

“This is not a place I would have chosen for a tryst,” Ellana said, but regretted the words the moment they had slipped out of her mouth.

“There is nowhere else to go,” the girl said, “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Ellana promised, “Go and find a nicer place to fuck.”

Did I just say that? Ellana asked herself. Had Solas just chuckled? She must have imagined it.

“I heard it, too,” Cole said.

Ellana laughed, while Solas and Cassandra seemed confused. They found the dam control, intact.

“I was under the impression that the darkspawn broke this,” Ellana said, “Who repaired it?”

“The mayor. His shame had this shape,” Cole said.

“Why would he lie to us about it?” Cassandra wondered.

“Fickle are the ways of… You know what, I don’t give a damn. I just want to fix this mess,” Ellana said, “The water should have gone down, now, so let’s go find that cave.”

When they left the dam house, a dragon flew over their heads.

“A suppose we must fight it,” Cassandra said.

“Bull is going to love that,” Ellana mused, “He has been talking about how he wants to butt heads with a dragon.”

“Why would he do that?” Cole asked.

“Beats me,” Ellana said and shrugged.

“The power,” said Solas, “He wants to test himself against the magnificence that is high dragon.”

“It sounds like you wouldn’t mind doing that, yourself,” Ellana commented.

“You are correct,” Solas admitted, “I would very much like to fight a high dragon.”

“I, too, would like to try,” Cassandra said.

“The dragon is dangerous to the people here,” Cole said, “They are afraid of it. We could help them by killing it.”

“It seems that we will be doing some dragon hunting after we find Hawke’s friend,” Ellana said, “Sadly, to get there, we need to kill a lot of undead and demons. ‘Kill’ is probably not the right word for dispatching with them. Regardless, we need to make them no more.”

“No more what?” Cole asked.

“Buggered if I know, I just kill them. Ask Solas. He’s old and wise. He’s supposed to know such things, being the Fade expert and all that.”

If possible, the old Crestwood was even more depressing than the new one. It was filled with wandering spirits that seemed curious of them. A few demons bothered them, but not for long. They ran into a spirit of Command (or Pomposity, as Solas put it) that reminded Ellana a great deal of Commander Helaine. She would have gotten along splendidly with the spirit. Ellana promised to kill a demon in the spirit’s name to help it return to the Fade.

They found the entrance to the caves under the village. It was slimy and damp down there. Several demons had found a residence in the caves and were reluctant to leave. There were bodies of people who had been surrounded by the flood. It was not a pretty sight. It was the stuff of nightmares, especially with Cole’s commentary.

The caves led to a dwarven ruin that had remained intact. They found yet another of those strange mosaic pieces. Ellana could not fathom why someone would see the trouble to scatter them around the weirdest and creepiest places imaginable. And why was she crazy enough to collect them? The joke was probably on her.

The rift was, indeed, in the cave. It was bigger and much nastier than most they had run into. It kept spewing demons that were particularly fond of Ellana. She was knocked down by terrors so many times that by the time she managed to close the rift, she was feeling faint. To top it off, they had run out of health potions on the way. Cassandra was holding her wrist and Cole walked funny.

“Can you make it to the surface, or should I go fetch some health potions for you?” Solas asked.

“I can make it,” Cassandra said.

“So can I,” Cole reported.

“I’m fine,” Ellana said and fell.

“Clearly.”

Solas helped her up, put his arm around her waist and let her lean on him. They made their way slowly towards the surface.

“This is such a lovely place,” Ellana said as she made a face at the slimy wall and dangerously crooked stairs, “I wonder why the young lovers chose the dam house for their love nest, when they had such a spot as this.”

“These caves were under water,” Solas reminded her.

“Right. Not much fun fooling around if you have to hold your breath. And dodge corpses. And spiders. And demons.”

“I suppose so,” Solas agreed and thought for a while before continuing, “You said that you would not have chosen the dam house for a place to have a tryst. Out of curiosity, where would you have gone?”

“I’m Dalish.”

“I know this. Is that an answer?”

“Dalish do it against a tree.”

“That’s quite the motto you have.”

“Or generally outside. An aravel is nice but when you live in close proximity to your clan, an aravel does not count as privacy. Not if you know, what you are doing, anyway,” Ellana mused before realizing, what she had just let out of her mouth, “Why am I telling you all of this?”

“Because I asked,” Solas said, “Also, you might have a mild concussion.”

“Good to know that I finally have a reason for all the stupid things I say. Though, I beg you, keep me away from Varric and Sera until my head is alright again. They might take advantage of my fragile state of brutal honesty.”

“Correct me if I am wrong, but are you not usually rather honest?”

“Yes, but usually I don’t blabber on about the sexual habits of… Please, stop me! Let’s talk about something else.”

Solas chuckled at her.

“Fine. What would you like to talk about?”

“Anything else.”

They made it to the surface. The spirit of Command was pleased that its command had been followed. Ellana, Cole, and Cassandra were pleased that they could get some health potion. Fen’Harel was pleased that he could get some food. Solas was displeased that he lost Ellana’s warm presence from his side.

Ellana’s head was still such a mess that they rested for the night. When the morning came, Ellana, Varric, Blackwall, and Cole went to finally look for the missing Warden. The weather had magically cleared after the great rift had been sealed. The undead were gone, too. The place looked almost livable, if you didn’t mind the loony animals and the red lyrium crystals sticking out of the ground.

Hawke was waiting for them at a cave mouth. They went inside together and found Senior Warden Stroud. He had one hell of a moustache, and terrible news. Corypheus was, evidently, some kind of a bogeyman of the Wardens. He could control their minds. Lately, he had used his skill to make every freaking Warden in Orlais hear the Call.

Ellana shook her head. The Wardens were scared, then. They thought that all of them were going to die at the same time. Instead of recruiting fiercely or doing something sane about it, they had gone the way of drama and bad decisions. Stroud said that they had looked into some sort of blood magic rite that would end all the Blights. Ellana could hardly believe such idiocy. Of course that was not possible! Any sane mage should know that.

“Why would they do something like that?” Ellana asked.

“Being a Warden becomes your life,” Stroud said, “It’s all you care about. It’s what you are for. The idea that every Grey Warden would die… That would leave the world defenseless, when the Blight comes.”

“You are saying their vision is narrowed,” Ellana concluded.

“Yes,” Stroud admitted, “Even more so with the fear created by the Calling. We need to end this madness before they do something terrible.”

Ellana agreed to meet with Hawke and Stroud at the old Warden outpost Stroud marked on her map. For the rest of the day, Ellana and the others wandered around the area. They checked on the woman living by herself at the edge of wilderness. They killed a few wyverns at her suggestion. They gathered herbs and scouted the lair of the dragon.

When they returned to camp, Ellana called together all her companions.

“My friends,” she said, “Tomorrow, we are going to kill a high dragon.”

A cheer went up.

“Who gets to go? Who gets to go?” Bull asked eagerly. He was practically bouncing on his seat, which was an amusing sight, considering his size.

“Everyone gets to go,” Ellana promised, “We have never killed one before, so I think it only wise that we all go. That should make the process easier and less likely to end with one or all of us in the dragon’s belly or roasted like pigs.”

“Sound reasoning,” Blackwall nodded.

“The strategy is pretty basic, since, as I said, we have not tried this before,” Ellana said, “Cassandra, Blackwall, and Bull, you keep it busy. Distract it, annoy it, taunt it. Don’t let it target one of you too long. Cole, you flank it. Attack from stealth, when you see an opening. If one of the warriors needs aid, you give it. Sera and Varric, you find good vantage points and let your bows sing. Vivienne and Solas, I need you to support the offense. Cast barriers and control the situation. Try to stay a long way from trouble. Dorian and I will find ourselves nice spots and fry that big lizard like there is no tomorrow. For the dragon, that will certainly be true. Does this work for everyone?”

There was general nodding around the fire.

“Great. Have a good night. Tomorrow, we’ll kill ourselves a high dragon!”

And they did.

\--

Solas was by himself in the rotunda. The fight with the dragon and the following journey back to Skyhold had taken much out of him. He was still a little sore from the fight and really needed rest. He arranged his papers and was just about to leave for bed, when Varric came through the doorway.

“Chuckles, you should come. It’s the Inquisitor.”

Solas’ blood turned cold. Had something happened to Lavellan? She was supposed to be alright after the fight, he had checked her himself. She must have had some wound she had not told him about, that stubborn, self-sufficient idiot…

“What’s the matter with her? Did she faint? Is she bleeding?” Solas asked hurriedly, as he headed past Varric.

“Nothing like that. She’s drunk as a skunk.”

Solas stopped on his tracks.

“Then all she needs is sleep. How does that require my presence?” Solas enquired. Varric had gotten him worried for nothing.

“I tried to talk her to go to bed, but she won’t go. I have no idea, why. She stopped speaking common around the fourth drink, I am told.”

“The fourth?” Solas was surprised, “What did she drink?”

“See, Bull had this Qunari drink, Maraas… Something. He talked her into drinking it to honor our victory over the dragon.”

“Maraas-Lok,” Solas said, “That is some potent liquid. If she drank four pints of that… Let’s go.”

They found Lavellan at the tavern. She was leaning on a table, hardly able to sit on her chair. Her hair was mussed and her cheeks were red.

“Lavellan,” Solas addressed her.

“Solaaasssss! It is good to see you,” she slurred in elven, “I know you don’t like it when I speak elven, coz I’m a Dalish ass, but I cannot remember the one, the one, the other one.”

“You should go to bed,” Solas replied in the same language.

“You sound sexy in elven,” Lavellan said, “You always sound sexy, but especially in elven. And you are right, we should go to bed. Let’s go to bed.”

Lavellan made to leave, but was way too drunk to walk. Solas tried to support her, like he had done the previous day, but it was no use. In the end, he decided that it was easier to carry hear.

“Goodbye,” Lavellan yelled, though practically no one understood her, “Good night, Varric, Bull, bartender, Sera… Sera? Solas, did you see, Sera has fallen asleep under the table? Isn’t that funny?”

Solas chose not to comment. He carried her all the way to her room, though the endless stares really took everything he had left in him. Lavellan kept yammering on about nothing and everything in elven. She told of her day and the fight with the dragon. She talked about her friends and the people who worked for the Inquisition. She was complimenting his magnificent ass, when Solas realized that this was the first time he had heard Lavellan use her native tongue for any length of time. Her accent was different from his and some of the words had changed over time and distance, but he could understand her. If he was completely honest with himself, he found it arousing. He could imagine her talking elven to him while… But that was a thought for a different time.

Solas gathered his strength and lifted Lavellan to her bed. He briefly considered taking her clothes off, but came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be proper. He was about to leave, when Lavellan took his hand firmly and wouldn’t let go.

“Solas, stay with me.”

“I can’t. You need to sleep.”

“I know. I will. And you can sleep here, next to me. Please, Solas, don’t leave me. I hate it when people leave me.”

Solas looked at Lavellan. Her big, beautiful eyes were sad. Her face was earnest. There was a tear in the corner of her eye. She looked so forlorn.

What could it hurt? Solas was really, truly tired, and Lavellan had asked, after all. He knew her well enough to be sure that she would not be offended in the morning if she found him sleeping in her bed. Solas craved to be close to her, to hold her.

“As you wish, lethallan,” Solas said. Lavellan smiled the most beautiful smile.

Solas got to bed next to her. Lavellan burrowed closer to him, so he opened his arms for her to crawl into. He kissed her forehead, closed his eyes, and fell asleep, holding her.


	18. Learning Experiences in The Morning

Solas was woken up by the first rays of the morning sun. It took him a moment to remember that he was in fact in Lavellan’s bed. With her. He turned his drowsy gaze at the sleeping woman in his arms. She looked careless, young, and fragile. When she slept, she did not look like the Inquisitor, an undeniably powerful mage upon whose shoulders the fate of Thedas rested. She looked defenseless and petite.

“Mmmmm,” Lavellan mumbled in her sleep and got even closer to Solas.

Solas smiled at her sleeping form. There, looking at her, he realized, how desperately he wanted to protect her. She was a fearsome and formidable woman, he knew this. But she was neither invincible nor immortal. Her enemies were powerful and many entities wanted her dead, no matter the cost. She risked her life for others on a daily basis. She need not do it alone. Solas could watch out for her. After all, it was partly his fault that she was in this mess in the first place.

Solas took a minute to appreciate the beauty of her face and her body. Not that he hadn’t done that many times before, he had. He had to suppress the desire to run his hands on her, to feel the shapes of her body, to feel her reacting to his touch, to wake her up with his tongue between her…

No, Solas told himself, this was not the time. He spent quite a while soothing his thoughts. He found it very helpful to consider Blackwall without his armor. That thought always brought him back, when he was about to forget himself while daydreaming of Lavellan. Though, soon he would have to think of something else. Otherwise, he ran the risk of picturing Blackwall naked every time he saw Lavellan. That would be unpleasant.

Solas put gently an errand hair behind Lavellan’s ear. He knew he should not do anything until he gave her an answer about them. He was painfully aware of the fact that he was losing the fight against himself. He would have to leave eventually. It would be the right thing to do to push her away in order to avoid hurting her. He had many times made up his mind to do just that… Until he saw her. Saw that smile light up her eyes at the sight of him. Saw, how she got absorbed into something she found interesting, which might be practically anything. Saw, how she made everyone feel better, even herself. Seeing all that, and more, he just couldn’t… He couldn’t say no. But he wasn’t ready to say yes, either, not just yet. What he could do, was to go to sleep for a few more hours, and hold her.

\--

Ellana groaned. Her head hurt. Her mouth was dry and tasted really bad. It took her three tries to get into a sitting position. Another few tries, and she was able to open her eyes only to close them halfway to shield them from the sun.

After some brain activity had begun to reappear, Ellana wondered, how she had gotten to her room. She remembered drinking with Bull at the tavern. There had been other people, there, too. She remembered Bull being turned on by a fire-breathing dragon trying to kill him. It seemed there were few things that did not turn the Qunari on. Ellana had yet to find sexual thrills from being almost roasted.

As Ellana stretched, her hand hit something warm that was obviously not her bed. It was a person, in her bed. A chill ran down Ellana’s spine. Oh, Creators, what had she done? Who had she done? She checked and rechecked that she still had all her clothes on. That was a relief. She would have hated it to have had unforgettably hot sex and not remember it the next morning.

Ellana turned to look at the body in her bed. It was Solas. He was sleeping. He looked untroubled and relaxed, which Ellana thought to be a nice change. He was on his side, one of his arms stretched out in a way that indicated that he had previously been holding Ellana close to him. He looked heart-warming.

Solas muttered something and opened his eyes. It appeared to take him a while to get his bearings.

“Good morning, Solas.”

“Good morning, Inquisitor,” he replied, “How are you feeling?”

“My head is killing me and I am still a little tired but other than that, I am fine.”

“I am glad to hear it.”

“Cards on the table, I can’t seem to remember, how I got here,” Ellana admitted, “I remember drinking with Bull. He was very excited, practically aroused, too, about killing the dragon. He gave me some potent Qunari drink. It all gets pretty hazy after that.”

Solas shifted onto his back and put his hands behind his head.

“I was about to retire, when Varric came for me,” Solas explained, “He told me that you had made the grave mistake of drinking Maraas-Lok. He had to get me because you had stopped speaking common.”

“I had stopped talking?”

“You talked without pause, but only in elven. They had no idea, what was happening, so they got me. You seemed very pleased with the idea of getting me to bed, but were unable to walk by yourself. I had to carry you to your room.”

Ellana blushed.

“Thank you, Solas, that was very kind of you. I didn’t say anything else stupid, did I?”

“No, of course not,” Solas said and Ellana let out a breath, relieved, “You talked of the Inquisition and killing the dragon and the finer qualities of my rear end and how you wanted to bite it and lick it and…”

Ellana buried her head in her hands.

“I did not!”

“You most certainly did,” Solas said happily, clearly enjoying her embarrassment, “Inquisitor, you are astonishingly frank, when you are drunk.”

“And yet, you stayed with me.”

“You asked me to. Rather convincingly, I might add. You said that you hate it when people leave you.”

“Sorry,” Ellana said with her head bowed, “You could have gone, anyway.”

Solas got up and sat beside her. He reached his hand to her cheek to make her look him into the eye.

“Not with you looking like you did,” he said softly, “I didn’t want to make you sad.”

They smiled at each other for a while.

“I still need more time,” Solas said.

“I know, I figured,” Ellana answered and hugged him, “It’s fine. What really kills me, though, is that I finally got you into bed and I can’t remember it. Or how I did it. You know, for future reference.”

“You will have to figure it out,” Solas said and chuckled, “I think it is time for me to go. I do not wish to cause you trouble.”

“I have so much trouble that I wouldn’t even notice, if some was added,” Ellana mused, “Though you are probably right.”

Solas got up, stretched to Ellana’s delight, and walked towards the stairs.

“I will see you later,” he said.

“Thank you for last night.”

“It was my pleasure, Inquisitor.”

After Solas had disappeared, Ellana got up and walked to pet Fen’Harel, who had been patiently waiting by her desk. She was touched by Solas’ care for her. She could see that he wanted to be with her, despite whatever it was that was holding him back. She was fairly certain that his want to claim her would win, but she would not rush him. Experience had taught her that people needed to make up their own minds. It never helped to reason with them, or offer them cold logic, or yell in their ear to do the right thing. They needed to make their own decisions in order for them to be able to stand by them. She would give Solas the time he needed.

Ellana performed her hang-over-morning routine and went downstairs with Fen’Harel. It was much later than usual for her to wake up but considering the circumstances, that was forgivable. There was still breakfast to be had, and the later morning crowd was present to enjoy it. Ellana gave Fen’Harel his share and went to sit opposite Varric.

“Morning, Varric.”

“Good morning, Inquisitor,” Varric answered and grinned, “Did Solas get you to bed alright?”

“Yes, he did, thank you for asking,” Ellana replied, “He’s quite the gentleman. He carried me all the way to my room and put me on my bed, while I blabbed at him like the drunken fool I was. Fortunately, I have no recollection of this.”

“Oh,” Varric said, sounding surprised, “So, really nothing happened.”

“Of course nothing happened! I was drunk out of my mind. Whatever it was that Bull had really did a number on me. Speaking of whom,” Ellana said and looked around, “Where is Bull? And Sera, I think I saw her at the tavern.”

“I believe that they are still where you left them.”

“What, no one took them to their beds?”

“Can you see anyone lifting Bull and carrying him to his bed?” Varric asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Valid point.”

“And Sera has been sleeping on tavern floors for years.”

“Lovely.”

“What I am saying is that people care about you,” Varric clarified and waved his hand to keep her from commenting.

“Thank you,” Ellana said and ate for a while before changing the subject, “How much of my conversation with Bull did you hear?”

“If you’re asking, whether I heard him say, ‘I will bring myself sexual pleasure while thinking about this’ and so on, I did hear.”

“Did you happen to write the phrase down, by any chance?”

“I did. I think it will work nicely in my next book,” Varric said.

“I definitely want to read that one.”

After breakfast, Ellana went for a walk on the yard. Skyhold was already awake, even if some of its residents were still in drunken stupor. She found that Blackwall was out and about, carving a wooden creature. As she went closer, she discovered it to be a griffon.

“Morning, Blakwall,” Ellana said, “That is beautiful.”

“Morning. It’s just something to keep the hands busy,” he replied in a dismissive tone.

“I understand. I like to make ice sculptures.”

“Really? I didn’t know that,” Blackwall replied, “I am surprised you find the time amidst all this.”

“The Inquisition is a bit of a hassle,” Ellana admitted, “What do you think about it?”

Blackwall stopped, what he was doing, and looked pensive for a moment.

“I think what we are doing is right. We do a lot of good. Sometimes it feels like we are the only ones, who are doing anything.”

“I hear you.”

“Someone once told me that you are who you choose to follow. I see that now.”

“There’s wisdom in that. Who told you this?”

Blackwall went back to his work and told of his youth, when he had participated in a tournament. Ellana understood the principle but didn’t see the appeal in it. Blackwall had meat a worthy man, a true Chevalier, but had forgone his chance to learn from the man. Life had shown him, what a fool he had been, but there was no going back.

“I think it all worked out in the end,” Ellana comforted him.

“It brought me here,” Blackwall said and shrugged, “This is the first time I have felt like a part of something bigger than me, something great.”

“You are a Warden.”

“Yes, and they are brave and good. But the Inquisition is something else, because of you. I have never felt more like I was exactly where I was supposed to be than I do now. That is thanks to you, Inquisitor.”

“Well, I’m glad.”

Ellana left Blackwall to his carving. She was a tad uneasy about what he had said. She was glad that he had found his niche in the world and that he was able to feel that he mattered. It was obvious that he believed strongly in their cause. That was powerful motivation. But Ellana was not pleased with the note of hero worship that could be heard in his words. She would prefer it if people believed in the cause, not in her. She earnestly hoped that Blackwall had not developed a crush for her. He was nice and gentlemanly, that was true, but nothing in him as a man appealed to her.

Ellana had not seen either Bull or Sera yet, so she went to make sure that they were alright. Sera had at some point dragged herself to her quarters. Bull was sitting, where he usually sat, having a hair of the dog.

“Rough morning?” Ellana asked as she sat next to him.

“How come you are already walking around?” Bull asked, “You drank almost as much as I did. You should be lying in bed, in tremendous pain. Why are you sitting there, smiling?”

“Magic,” Ellana said.

“You Bas Sarebaas bastard,” he grunted and drank.

“I’m a what?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me, what it was that you were yammering on last night,” Bull said, “What was that? I’ve hardly ever heard you put two words together in elven, and last night there was no way of shutting you up. I tried even kissing you, once, but you just kept talking.”

“Sorry, but I have no memory of what I said. I…” Ellana was saying before she caught up with what Bull had said, “Wait, what? You kissed me? Why?”

“Like I said, I was trying to get you to shut up. I was drunk, it felt like a good idea at the time,” Bull shrugged, “Besides, it wasn’t bad. Always nice to kiss a stunning redhead.”

Ellana’s cheeks were very red. She should remember that if you drank too much, the next day you would be embarrassed about something you had done while intoxicated.

“Alright, then. I think I’ll go now, unless there is something else embarrassing I did last night that I should know about?”

“Solas pork you yet?” Bull asked.

“What? Of course not!” Ellana stammered, “He carried me to bed like a gentleman.”

“He really should pork you.”

“I think he knows.”

“If he won’t, I will.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m good,” Ellana said and got up to leave.

“If the situation changes, you know where to find me,” Bull said and took a swig from his pint.


	19. Fear And... Other Things

”Aren’t the Dalish supposed to be good with animals? In harmony with nature and all that?” Varric asked, as they were attacked by yet another freaky creature.

“Maybe these animals don’t know that?” Ellana answered and jumped away from the creature’s way.

“You could sing a song about how much you love nature,” Varric suggested, “Maybe then we could make some progress without being attacked by every beast we see.”

“Try that,” Blackwall yelled as he bashed the thing with his shield.

“I fail to see, how that would help,” Vivienne said.

“Well,” Varric pondered, “Then all the animals would jump her and leave the rest of us alone.”

“And you would stand aside and laugh as I fight every freaking creature in the Western Approach?” Ellana asked, “How would that aid our mission?”

“Laughter is the best medicine?”

“Good to know,” Ellana said, “Then I can laugh at your pain and stash the health potions for when we really need them.”

“That’s not really you,” Varric pointed out.

“You are right,” Ellana admitted and winked, “I’ll ask Sera to do it.”

Finally, they managed to kill the animal. It was not the last one that day. Ellana thought that it was no wonder that residents were scarce in the area. You could hardly advance a few paces before getting attacked by either apparently self-destructive animals, bandits, or the Venatori. The Wardens had chosen a good place in which to build their demon army. It was highly unlikely that someone would accidentally find them and stop their nefarious plan.

They spotted the old keep that was the base of operations for the Wardens. Hawke and Stroud were already waiting for them.

“Oh, good, you’re here,” Hawke said, “We almost started to worry.”

“Sorry it took so long,” Ellana said, “We were attacked by every living creature we came across.”

“That’s funny,” Hawke said, “We had no trouble at all.”

“Did you sing a song about loving nature?”

“Sorry, what?” Hawke asked, confused.

“Look at him, it was his idea,” Ellana said and pointed at the grinning dwarf.

“Let’s go,” Stroud hurried them, “I fear they may already have begun the ritual.”

They walked in on blood magic. It wasn’t pretty. There were dead bodies lying about. There was murder. There were demons. There was a Tevinter mage, who was an ass-kisser of Corypheus. The Wardens were completely under his spell. He was so sure of himself that he explained it all to them. The ritual that bound the demons to the Wardens bound the Wardens to Corypheus, as his puppets. Clarel had intended to march the demon army to the Deep Roads to kill the Old Gods before they could be corrupted by the darkspawn and become Archdemons.

The Tevinter mage also said that the anchor was meant to help Corypheus enter the Fade safely. Ellana locked that information away to be returned to later. As the fight broke out, there was no time to waste on dwelling on the many convenient functions of her glowing hand.

“Blood magic, human sacrifices, demons… What sane person looks at this and thinks it a good idea?” Ellana asked as they had killed the Wardens and their pet demons.

“The Wardens are afraid and Corypheus knows, how to take advantage of that,” Stroud said.

“Blood magic,” Hawke said and shook her head, “They should know better than that. I have seen my share of blood magic and it never ends well.”

“Where did that weasel go?” Blackwall asked, “I don’t see his body.”

“He fled,” Stroud said, “I saw the way he went. I think it safe to assume that he is in Adamant.”

“Then that is where we need to go,” Ellana stated, “There is no way this was his entire army.”

“The faster we end this madness, the better,” Vivienne said.

“I agree,” Ellana nodded, “Let’s return to Skyhold to strategize.”

\--

The attack on Adamant was brutal and it felt wrong. Even among the Dalish, the Wardens had been hailed as heroes. They were still trying to be heroes but had been blinded by their fear and their particular brand of single-mindedness. Now those brave soldiers in their griffon helmets and shiny armor had become the corrupted enemy.

Ellana cursed the bards and singers, who made war sound heroic and glorious. There was no glory, it was gory. Many people died painful deaths before they had even reached the keep. When Cullen’s force broke through the gate, it was Ellana’s turn. She, Blackwall, Sera, and Dorian dived into the chaos.

The main stage of the madness was set on the courtyard. At the behest of Corypheus’ lackey, Erimond, Warden Commander Clarel and her fellow Wardens were setting up to bring a powerful demon from the Fade. Stroud, Hawke, and Blackwall tried to reason with them. They were good with that sort of thing. Erimond saw that their words made Clarel hesitate, so he summoned Corypheus’ dragon. Of course he bloody did, Ellana thought, because a dragon is exactly, what this mess needed.

Clarel attacked Erimond. She told the Wardens to help the Inquisition and went after the dragon. The whole yard was a mess. A pride demon popped from the rift and killed indiscriminately. Some of the Wardens helped Ellana, others tried to kill her. She really wished that they had been wearing colored shirts or ribbons or something. Also, texts “I want to kill the Inquisitor”, “I hail for Corypheus”, “I am here because my mom made me” and the like somewhere on their clothing would have been much appreciated. As things stood, when seeing a Warden, Ellana had to give them time to try to kill her before responding.

When the yard was cleared of the elements that were trying to kill anyone working for the Inquisition, Ellana and her team went after Clarel. They were able to help their troops on the battlements, which put them in the way of many demons. There were even pride demons in the bunch, which made Ellana wonder, what had been so special about the one the Wardens had summoned on the courtyard.

They did find Clarel in time to see her die bravely. She went out with the Grey Warden motto on her lips, casting one final spell at the dragon. It was a massive spell, which made the dragon stagger and fall so that it broke some of the fortress. Sadly, that was the part of the fortress that Ellana and her team were standing on. According to the laws of physics, they fell.

\--

“Where are we?” Blackwall asked.

It was a valid question. Ellana had expected to find herself flat on the pavement of Adamant. Well, not find herself, more like being found there. She did not expect this gloomy, slimy place.

“We are in the Fade,” she said.

“We fell. Are we dead?” Hawke asked.

“The Inquisitor opened a rift with her hand,” Stroud mused, “And we fell through.”

“The Fade looked different the last time I was here,” Hawke said.

“It must be because we are bodily here,” Stroud said, “Is this, what it was like, when you entered the Fade in Haven?”

“I don’t know. I can’t remember,” Ellana answered.

Sera was swearing a blue streak. She was scared, and Ellana was pretty sure she wasn’t the only one. If you didn’t count her Haven episode, the last time someone had come physically into the Fade was when they Blights began.

“As fascinating as this is, I suggest we find a way out,” Ellana said. No one was opposed, so they walked on.

“Too bad Solas isn’t here,” Dorian said, “He would be in such an academic bliss he would have the boner of a lifetime.”

“Dorian!”

“Oh, come on, like you weren’t thinking about it.”

“Just a little,” Ellana admitted and chuckled.

“I really wish he was here, too,” Sera said, “Then I wouldn’t be.”

“Can you imagine Solas here?” Ellana asked, “We would have to drag him forward. He would want to explore everything and talk to every spirit.”

“Speaking of which…” Dorian said.

An old woman was in their path. She looked like the Divine. It was evidently a spirit and wanted to help them without a favor, so not a demon. The spirit told them of Nightmare, the fear demon that ruled over the part of the Fade they had landed into. It served Corypheus. If they wanted to escape, they had to reach the rift in Nightmare’s lair. Before that, though, Ellana had to recover the memories the demon had stolen from her.

“That was the Divine, right?” Sera asked as they left the spirit.

“Well, the Chantry teaches us that the souls of the dead pass through the Fade, so it could be her,” Hawke said.

“I am sorry to say, but I think that was merely a spirit,” Stroud said.

The debate went on. Ellana decided to stay out of it. She realized that they needed something else to think about besides being trapped in a place they did not understand and were afraid of. She wasn’t as invested in the subject as the others were. The Divine had probably been a nice person, but she was not holy to Ellana.

Ellana was satisfied when she recovered her memories. She had known that Andraste was not involved but it was nice that the others saw it, as well. She had just been there and it had just happened. The presence of the Grey Wardens brought about a heated debate between Hawke and Stroud. Ellana told them to save it for the enemy.

The Fade was truly intriguing. Ellana did wish that she had taken Solas with her. If it wasn’t for the threat of Nightmare and the constant fighting, she would have almost enjoyed the place. Helping the dreamers made her feel good and she liked finding the hidden treasures that made her stronger. Many of them were in mirrors. She did not know, whether it meant that they were old Eluvians, or that you got stronger by knowing yourself. It might be the latter, since the Fade reflected your thoughts.

Another thing that contributed to Ellana liking the Fade was Nightmare’s voice. It was sinful. She was hardly even listening to what the demon drawled, she just enjoyed the voice. Yes, yes, she was the little girl who wanted to beat the wannabe god yadda, yadda. She had to bite her lip to keep from telling the demon to talk dirty to her. Maybe the demon was confused, for it did not come up with anything very scary to say to her. It was not that easy to scare someone who was in a state closing in on arousal. Was she strange to react like this to the voice of a demon? Ellana wondered. Probably. At least she wasn’t scared.

Everyone was pretty upset at the graveyard-like place they found. There was a gravestone for each of Ellana’s companions with their greatest fear named. There was one for her, as well. “Ellana: going bad,” it said. She read the other ones, too, if someone wanted to talk about them later. Some people found it helpful to discuss their fears in the daylight, while others preferred not to dwell on them.

Ellana shepherded the group out of the graveyard, up the stairs. They had a sexy-voiced demon to beat.

\--

Solas cast a chain lightning at a shade. He wasn’t the least bit sorry when the ricochet hit a Grey Warden. All this chaos was their fault. It didn’t make things better that some of them felt sorry for it. Fear was no excuse to perform blood sacrifices and bind demons. How could they think that marching a demon army to kill the Old Gods was a good idea? What sort of lunacy would support such a scheme? Many lives had been lost because of the Grey Wardens and many more would be lost before this affair was finished. And now Lavellan was missing. She had dropped through a rift and disappeared. It did not bode well that the dragon had flown away at the same time.

Solas was worried. He did not like being worried. It was easier to be angry, so he cast, again and again, killing demon after demon. Let the other mages keep the barriers up. He wanted to kill. 

Solas berated himself for allowing Lavellan to go without him. This battle was worse than any the Inquisition had encountered so far. He should have gone with her, to look after her, to keep her safe. There was no telling, what Lavellan had found in his absence. Strange trouble seemed to follow her around. He would much prefer it to be fighting at her side to having to defend Grey Wardens against demons that they themselves had brought from the Fade. They did not deserve his help, she did.

It was not lost on Solas that Lavellan had probably left him out of her team because she was aware of his attitude towards the Grey Wardens. He should have assured her that he would fight at her side despite his personal feelings. Even though he did not always agree with her, he had learned to trust her judgment. She always had sound logic to back her up, and she did not make decisions lightly.

There was some commotion. Solas turned to look, what it was about. The rift on the courtyard came alive. Lavellan jumped through, followed by her friends and Stroud. Solas was so relieved to see her that he forgot himself for a while and ran a few steps to her direction before realizing it. When he did realize, he slowed his pace to a walk.

“Where’s the Champion? We thought she was with you,” someone asked Lavellan.

“She sacrificed herself to cover our escape,” Lavellan said, looking sad and grave, “Hawke didn’t do it because she was someone, who had given a promise, or who was marked as special. She did it because it needed to be done.”

Solas nodded. He respected the Champion for what she had done, in Kirkwall and in the Fade. He was sorry that she was gone, and sorry for the pain Varric was going to feel.

“Stroud, you are the Senior Warden,” said one of the Wardens, “What do we do now?”

“That depends on the Inquisition.”

“You should rebuild and work with the Inquisition. We will need you,” Lavellan said.

Solas didn’t want to believe, what he had heard. The Inquisitor was willing to let them help? She wasn’t going to punish them for all this bloodshed that their idiocy had caused? They could have ruined the entire world if they had not been stopped! And to allow them to work with the Inquisition, no less. Corypheus could corrupt them at any time he chose. Solas was certainly going to have words with Lavellan.

The night was dark, but the Inquisition camp was not. People were celebrating the defeat of the demon army and having new allies in the Grey Wardens. There was drinking, laughter, and general merriment about. Solas went to look for the Inquisitor. She wasn’t with the people having a party. She was a little way away, staring at the stars with Fen’Harel.

“Inquisitor,” Solas greeted, as he arrived at her side.

“Ah, you are mad at me,” Lavellan said.

“How could you let the Grey Wardens remain?” Solas began, “After all they have done, they deserve to be punished, not cuddled. They let their single-mindedness and fear rule them. They made unspeakable things to each other and caused them to other people. The lives lost here today are on them. They are the reason the Champion is gone. Because of them, the Inquisition lost many soldiers. You were sucked physically into the Fade and had to fight through an army of demons to fix their mistakes. There is no way they should be…”

Solas’ rant was cut off by Lavellan, who hugged him.

“Solas, I am alright,” she reassured him, “You don’t have to worry any more. I am fine.”

That shut Solas up. He let out a deep sigh and hugged her back, tightly.

“I was worried,” he admitted.

“I know, I got that.”

“I should have been with you,” Solas said, his cheek in her hair.

“I agree,” Lavellan said, “You would have loved it.”

“I meant… It does not matter. Would you tell me about it? Or are you too tired?”

Lavellan turned her head to look up at him.

“It is touching, how you take care of me,” she said, “I am pretty tired after, you know, killing an army of demons, falling to my apparent death, and entering and exiting the Fade in the flesh.”

Solas chuckled.

“What if I tell you something now and the rest in my dream?”

“That is acceptable,” Solas said.

“What would you like to know?”

“How was it different from entering the Fade in your dreams?”

“In many ways,” Lavellan said, “For example, I was more aware of the limits of the area. It wasn’t responsive to my will but I think some of it was different for each of us. The little fears we kept running into were spiders for me, but that wasn’t, what Sera saw. Also, I picked up some strength on the way. It was mostly stored in what appeared to me as mirrors. Demons looked like demons, which does not happen in dreams.”

“That is fascinating,” Solas said, trying to picture it.

“I knew you would like it,” Lavellan said, sounding pleased, “Or, as Dorian put it, ‘would be in such an academic bliss that you would have the boner of a lifetime’.”

“You were physically in the Fade and you considered it proper to discuss my state of arousal?”

“It was almost the first thing we talked about.”

“Lavellan…”

“Now I have answered your question. Let’s go to sleep,” Lavellan said and her smile turned mischievous, “I am tired and I really want to see, if Dorian was right about your reaction to the Fade.”


	20. Putting out Fires

”You want me to hit you with this stick?” Ellana asked.

“Yeah, come on, Boss,” Bull said, “Unless you want me to hit you with mine.”

Ellana shrugged and hit him like Cassandra had been doing before her. Bull needed to work out the backlash from Adamant. He was not the only one of Ellana’s friends who’d had issues. She’d had the weirdest day trying to help them out. Sera had tried to hit her, Cassandra had wanted to write an account for history, Solas had ranted, Varric had needed a hug, and Bull wanted to be hit while trash-talking a dead demon. Was this what all leaders did in their spare time?

“This really works for you?” Ellana asked as she hit Bull again.

“Oh, yeah,” Bull said, “Thanks for doing this, Boss.”

“Happy to help.”

“If you need any pounding with a stick, just let me know,” Bull said and winked.

Ellana shook her head and left the warrior to his exercises. The next one to have a crisis appeared to be Cole. She ran into him and Solas on the yard. Cole was really freaked out by what had happened in Adamant. He did not want to be bound like the demons the Wardens had used. He feared that if he was, he would cease to be himself. Cole’s identity was bound in his ability to help people. If bound, he would no longer be able to do it. Cole was begging Solas to bind him, to protect him. Solas refused.

“You could bind me, if Solas won’t. You are a mage, you could do it, too,” Cole said to Ellana.

“Calm down, Cole,” Ellana said, “I am not any more eager to bind you than Solas is. How could you be sure that Solas or I binding you wouldn’t change who you are? There must be some other way to protect you.”

“There might be,” Solas said. He described amulets that Rivaini seers use to protect the spirits they work with. He suggested that the Inquisition could acquire such an amulet for Cole. Ellana promised to do it and Cole left, a little pacified.

“I had no idea, how deeply everyone would be troubled by what happened in Adamant,” Ellana said as she followed Cole with her eyes, “I have been putting out fires all day. You know, Sera actually tried to punch me.”

“I am not surprised,” Solas said, “Fear is a powerful motivator. It has force beyond any other emotion. Even the need to survive, which is very strong, is rooted in fear.”

“I recognize the power it holds. I just think that you should use that power, not let it petrify you.”

“Is that not what Corypheus was doing?” Solas asked.

Ellana elbowed him in the side.

“You are hilarious,” she said dryly, “Corypheus was not using his own fear, but that of others. When you know the strength of fear, you should use it and turn it to something good. That way you can fight whatever it is that you are afraid of.”

“If you are looking for something against which to turn your fear, I may need a favor,” Solas said.

“You just have to ask.”

“One of my oldest friends had been captured by mages and forced into slavery,” Solas said with a frown on his face, “I heard the cry for help as I slept.”

“I’m sorry, Solas,” Ellana said, troubled, “How did they capture your friend?”

“With a summoning circle, I assume,” Solas answered. 

“Ah. That would mean that your friend is a spirit of…”

“Wisdom,” Solas supplied.

“Of course. Why would they capture your friend?” Ellana asked.

“My friend is a gentle spirit. It would willingly converse with you about history or philosophy in the Fade. Maybe they wanted to know something it did not wish to tell.”

“Don’t worry,” Ellana said and touched his hand gently, “We will go get your friend. Where are they holding it?”

“In the Exalted Plains. I will mark the spot on our map. Thank you, Lavellan,” Solas said with a sad smile and left.

Ellana wondered how many friends Solas had lost in a similar manner. There must be a reason, why his deepest fear was dying alone. Despite the fact that he did not come off as a sociable person – in fact, he more often than not appeared the exact opposite – he must value friendship very deeply. Ellana appreciated that about him.

\--

The Exalted Plains were not without troubles. Scout Harding could name many things that needed Ellana’s attention but she decided that helping Solas’ friend was the most urgent matter. The obligatory undead would not go anywhere.

They headed towards the location Solas had marked on the map. Ellana couldn’t help but enjoy the way there. There was beautiful, green forest all around. The ancient elves had chosen a magnificent place for their final stand. She had to fight the urge to climb the tallest tree to look at it all, the stage of so much bloody history. She had a bounce in her step that did not go unnoticed by Fen’Harel or her companions.

“Well, aren’t you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed today,” Varric said.

“Look at this forest,” Ellana said with a wide grin, “Is it not magnificent? Can’t you practically feel the history?”

“You know, Boss,” Bull said, “Until now, I’ve doubted whether or not you truly are Dalish, but seeing you here… You must be.”

“What’s wrong about being excited about history and forests?”

“There’s excited and then there are the Dalish,” Varric stated.

“Oh, please, I am not that bad,” Ellana said.

“Says the woman, who has not taken one walking step since we got here,” Solas pointed out.

“Fine, make fun of me, I don’t care,” Ellana said and danced away with Fen’Harel, who was excited about her excitement.

“Inquisitor, you do realize that you are frolicking in the woods now?” Varric asked with a laugh.

“No, I am not,” Ellana replied, “I have my clothes on. If I was really frolicking, I would be naked.”

“Go ahead, we will wait. And watch.” Bull answered. Solas gave him a dark look.

“I think we should move on,” the mage said and went ahead.

“O-oh, I think you pissed Chuckles off,” Varric said.

“He always looks like that,” Bull replied.

They reached a river that flowed at the edge of the plains. It was clear and shallow. As they followed it, they found a camp.

“Wait, is that…” Ellana said and strained her eyes, “It is! I know this clan. We meet them every once in a while. Let’s go say hi.”

Ellana led her friends into the camp with a wide smile on her face. It had been ages since she had met another Dalish. She hadn’t exactly been homesick but it was reassuring to get a taste of familiar surroundings. First, she exchanged a polite greeting with the keeper and inquired about how their clan was fairing. It was not good. They’d had problems and they were struggling. Ellana promised to help if it was within her power.

While Ellana was talking with the keeper, a very familiar young man had creeped nearer. When she stepped away from the keeper, she was pulled into a tight hug that ended with a kiss eager enough to cause some commentary from her friends.

“Ellana, it’s good to see you,” he said in elven.

“You, too, Loranil,” Ellana responded in kind, “It has been a while. How have you been?”

“Fine enough, but let’s not talk about me,” he said, “You are the one whose life has been awesome. Aren’t you the shem prophet now, or something? Is it true that you killed a dragon by yourself? Did you really die and come back to life? Emalien said that she slept with someone who had tattooed your face on his ass! Can you imagine?”

Ellana laughed at his enthusiasm.

“Slow down, my friend,” Ellana said, “Much has happened to me, that is true. We are now in a bit of a hurry, but I will come by later to tell you all about it.”

“I understand. You must have very pressing issues all the time, being the bigshot. I’m eager to see you again and catch up properly,” Loranil said and accentuated the last word with a grin, “So, this thing you have to do, is it promising to be good, or are you looking at fecking awesome?”

“We’ll need to wait and see. We are going to rescue a friend of my friend,” Ellana said and nudged her head towards Solas.

Loranil looked at Solas.

“You are friends with a flat-ear? You have not changed, my friend.”

“You know I hate it when you call people that,” Ellana said and swatted him on the shoulder, “Besides, that particular friend knows more elven history and speaks the language better than the two of us put together.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Then I stand corrected and apologize,” Loranil said, “May you be successful on your mission. May the Dread Wolf never catch your scent.”

“He already has it,” Ellana laughed and pointed at her wolf cub, “That is Fen’Harel.”

“You are such a rebel,” Loranil said and mussed her hair.

Ellana bid goodbye to the clan and promised to be back shortly. They continued to follow the river.

“I take it that you knew that guy,” Varric said.

“If not, I wish I had known that it was alright to greet you that way the first time we met,” Bull said.

“I do know Loranil,” Ellana affirmed, “Our clans meet pretty regularly.”

“Did I hear ‘fecking awesome’?” Varric asked.

“You did.”

“I thought so,” Varric nodded happily, “So, that’s the guy.”

Ellana looked at Solas from the corner of her eye. He seemed pensive but that was probably because he was worried about his friend. She would most likely have to have a talk with him after this was over. She had no idea, whether he was bothered by her kissing an old friend. The Dalish were in the habit of touching each other more than humans or city elves, that was true, but even among them it was not customary to kiss just anybody. Especially on the mouth. With tongue. Ellana sighed. She had not foreseen Loranil’s enthusiasm. She really would have to talk to Solas, even if he still had not made up his mind about whether or not he wanted her.

The spot Solas had marked on the map did have a summoning circle. What it had trapped, was no longer a spirit of wisdom, but a pride demon. Solas was so furious that his pronunciation suffered and he spat the words out of his mouth. They were approached by a mage with a punch-me-face. He asked them for help in containing the demon. Ellana hated his guts more and more each passing moment. When he started patronizing Solas and explaining that he didn’t understand, Ellana saw red. She made it clear that Solas knew more about spirits than the mage and his Circle friends ever would.

“What can we do, Solas?”

“If we break the binding stones, the binding will be lifted. No binding, no conflict with its nature, no demon,” Solas said.

“You can’t break the binding, it will kill us all,” the mage yelled.

“We will free your friend, Solas,” Ellana promised and ignored the Circle mage.

“Thank you, Inquisitor.”

They went to work. Breaking the stones would have been easier if the demon had left them alone. But it kept slashing its whip around and laughing. Varric got a bad hit. Ellana went to help him and got a lash, as well. She fell to her knees and tears rose to the corners of her eyes but she wouldn’t give up. She kept casting until all the stones lay on the ground. The second the demon was free, it turned into the shape of a woman, whose face reflected a deep sorrow. The spirit and Solas talked for a while in elven. The spirit thanked Solas for his help and asked him to guide it to death, which he did with an agonized expression.

“Solas, I am sorry. I heard her, you did everything you could.”

“I will heal. Now, all that is left is them,” Solas said and turned his furious gaze at the mages.

That look was all Ellana needed to know that he meant to kill them. She couldn’t let him. Yes, they were stupid but they had not known better. This would teach them and, hopefully, they would learn.

“Solas…”

Solas clenched his hands into fists and let out a breath. Then he stepped back. The mages looked relieved.

“I need some time alone. I will meet you back at Skyhold,” Solas said in a hollow voice and left.

“He really likes spirits, doesn’t he?” Varric said as Ellana went to heal his wound.

“That was one of his oldest friends,” Ellana said and helped him up, “How would you react if someone did that to your friend?”

“If it was me, those mages would be dead,” Bull said, “Besides, that one had a face that screamed, ‘hit me!’”

“Thank you! I thought it was just me,” Ellana said, “How about we rest for a while at the Dalish camp and then travel to the Inquisition camp?”

“Good, then you can kiss that elf some more,” Varric said and winked at Ellana.

“I simply think that you could use the rest,” Ellana said in a reasonable voice.

“You’re no fun,” Varric grumbled.

“You sound like Sera,” Ellana pointed out, “I reckon it is her turn to come with me. And Madame Vivienne's. I think she has yet to meet the undead the rest of us have been killing nonstop.”

“That sounds like a fun party,” Bull said, “You can go ahead and count me out.”

“Me, too,” Varric agreed.

“You’re no fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has more than 500 hits... I'm thisclose to doing a happy dance. You know what, wait a sec-- (*doing a happy dance with the dog*) Done :)
> 
> Thank you for reading and a special thank you to all of you lovely people who have left kudos or bookmarked this!


	21. Of Inefficient Morons

”How did it go?” Loranil asked as they reached the Dalish camp.

“We weren’t able to save Solas’ friend,” Ellana answered, “And we got a little hurt. Can we stop here for a while?”

“You don’t have to ask,” Loranil replied, “Do you need something? We haven’t got much, but you are welcome to it.”

“Just a place to sit, while I heal our wounds.”

They sat down and Ellana went to work.

“So, you know the Inquisitor,” Varric said, addressing his words to Loranil, who was sharpening his sword nearby.

“Yes, I count her among my friends,” Loranil said and continued in a suggestive tone, “Though I don’t call her Inquisitor.”

“What do you call her, then?” Bull asked.

“Well…”

“Don’t you dare!” Ellana said and gave Loranil a murderous glance, “You call me by my name.”

“Among other things.”

“I like where this is going,” Varric said and grinned, “Do share.”

“Please, don’t urge him on! He is bad enough on his own, without encouragement,” Ellana huffed.

“Lethallan, you wound me,” Loranil held a hand to his heart.

“She should spank you instead,” Bull offered.

“That’s what I keep saying, but so far, she has not gotten onboard with that,” Loranil complained and looked at Ellana, “I like your friends. It seems that the Inquisition is a lot more fun than it sounds.”

“Yes, it’s lovely. If it wasn’t for the crazy wannabe god, who is trying to rule the world, the Inquisition would be the best party ever,” Ellana said dryly, “I am done with the healing now. We should travel to the Inquisition camp to give the ladies – and Sera – a chance to participate as well.”

“Will you come back?” Loranil asked as Ellana, Varric, and Bull made to leave.

“If we get everything done, I will come to sit by the fire and catch up,” Ellana promised, “It has been too long, lethallin.”

“I will see you then. Try not to get killed.”

“People always ask me the weirdest things.”

\--

Ellana, Fen’Harel, Sera, Vivienne, and Cassandra noticed that the rest of the Exalted Plains wasn’t as nice as the forest. It was burning, in ruins, and filled with demons and undead. If that wasn’t enough, there were the Freemen of The Dales. Ellana had yet to understand, what made them free. They didn’t seem different from any of the other bandits she and her friends had come across during the past months.

Taking the ramparts was an annoying process. The whole thing appeared stupid to Ellana. They had built wooden structures for defense purposes in case someone attacked. If there was an attack and it succeeded, the attackers became the defenders and the defenders began to attack what had formerly been their own fortress. If they succeeded, the roles reversed again. Dalish children used to have a similar game, when Ellana was little. Their game didn’t have demons and arcane horrors, though.

“Why are we always fighting fricking corpses?” Sera huffed as she pierced another one with an arrow.

“Beats me,” Ellana replied.

“The Breach created optimal conditions for energy from the Fade to pass into this world. That energy animates dead bodies,” Vivienne explained.

“Why do they attack us? Can’t they just go around eating or something?” Sera asked.

“They are affected by demons, who want to possess and destroy. Reanimated corpses have no will of their own,” Vivienne said.

“Would it be possible to sever their connection to the demons? Would that change their behavior or stop them reliving or whatever it is that they do?” Ellana thought aloud.

“Possibly,” Vivienne mused, “But that would take too much time to be worth the trouble, my dear. It is much more efficient to kill them.”

“A little help here, please,” begged Cassandra, who was facing the arcane horror. The women turned their attention to helping her.

When everything, that ought not live, was dead, they burned the bodies and called the troops to retake the ramparts. They had to repeat the same process several times. And close a rift in the basement of a fortress, which felt very random to Ellana, but it wasn’t like the Breach had had much logic, anyhow.

“I have to say, I am not impressed by the might of the Orlesian army,” Ellana said as they wandered on.

“How so?” Cassandra asked.

“They have been trying to retake those ramparts for Creators know how long. It took the four of us an afternoon. Even if they aren’t the finest soldiers ever, they still should have managed it with their larger numbers.”

“That’s a good point,” Cassandra admitted.

“You know Orleasians,” Sera said, “Maybe they were afraid of losing their masks and getting their frilly clothes dirty.”

“They are soldiers, my dear,” Vivienne said, “They do their duty.”

“Was it their duty to sit on their asses and watch us fight?” Sera asked.

“Their duty is to protect the interest of the Empire,” Vivienne replied, “Since the ramparts are in the right hands again, I would say that they were successful.”

“Inefficient morons, they should do something for their bloody salary,” Sera grumbled.

Ellana sighed as Sera and Vivienne were getting into a promising argument. They had managed that so many times already that she had decided to stay out of it. She looked through the environment in search of anything useful. There was a burnt down house that looked worth investigating. It was no surprise that it held a corpse, but the items…

“Valorin! Oh, Creators, no!”

“You knew him?” Cassandra asked.

“Yes,” Ellana said in a silent voice, “He is the person that clan was looking for. He’s the keeper’s apprentice, just a young guy. A bit rash but funny and loving. His sister will be heartbroken.”

“He was attempting blood magic,” Vivienne stated. It wasn’t as much of a judgement as you could have expected, just a statement of a fact.

“So it seems,” Ellana said, “Looks like he was trying to find something. There’s a map. We should go see if we can find it.”

Ellana said a silent prayer for the young man before they left. The group fell silent for a while as they hiked towards the forest. Fen’Harel ran ahead of them, enjoying the environment and the woodland creatures. The woodland creatures were not as pleased with his presence as he was with theirs. In their escape from him, the animals did not plan where to go, and the women had to watch their step closely in order not to fall over a panicked nug. They did all, though, everyone except for Vivienne. Thanks to her knight enchanter training, they passed right through her.

“Damn,” Ellana said after stumbling down again, “I really need to study harder.”

“It would benefit you greatly, if you did,” Vivienne agreed.

“Studying’s boring,” Sera said, “You want to be more boring, go ahead and study. The rest of us will have all the fun.”

“I like studying,” Ellana said, “It used to be my favorite thing to do, when I was with the clan.”

“You’re not with them anymore,” Sera pointed out, “Now you get to do things that are more fun. Like kill stuff and hang out with us.”

“Who would want to hang out with me? I’m boring, remember?”

“That’s why you need to hang out with us, innit? Having fun will rub off on you,” Sera explained.

“Cassandra, tell me,” Ellana asked, “Have I spent too much time with her, or did that just make sense?”

“Hey!”

“It almost did,” Cassandra admitted with a smile.

They found a magnificent waterfall between mountains. As they climbed the side, they had ample opportunity to marvel it.

“Is there a particular reason they pictured a wolf?” Cassandra asked.

“It’s Fen’Harel, the Dread Wolf,” Ellana said, “I think there might be some shrine nearby, behind his back.”

“The statue is guarding it?” Cassandra enquired.

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”

They did find a shrine that was dedicated to Sylaise. A few Freemen had squatted there but it didn’t take the women long to dispose of them. Ellana found the amulet poor Valorin had been looking for. There was some other useful stuff, too. She didn’t know which was better, the ancient elven robe, or the ring that gave the wearer the ability to attack from stealth. She could be the first rogue mage the Inquisition had ever had.

“Can we go now?” Sera asked, “This place is giving me the creeps.”

“Don’t get creeped out just yet. We still have to fight the demons on that ancient burial ground,” Ellana reminded her.

“Oh, goody.”

The burial ground was close by. It didn’t take them long to kill the demons so that the graveyard was peaceful once again.

“Can we go now?”

“Yes, Sera, you can go now,” Ellana answered, “Do you think the three of you can reach the camp without me?”

“Where are you going?” Cassandra asked.

“I will spend the night at the Dalish camp. I need to tell them about Valorin and what we have done today. I am hoping that they will let one of them join the Inquisition. He is an excellent hunter and very eager to help us.”

“We will manage, Inquisitor,” Vivienne said.

They parted ways. Ellana and Fen’Harel walked towards the Dalish camp as the others headed for the Inquisition camp. On the way, Ellana saw the golden halla and herded it to the camp. It was easier said than done since the stupid animal was not familiar with either being herded or keeping out of trouble. Ellana and Fen’Harel had to fight demons and kill a pack of wolves before the bloody animal agreed to walk to the right direction. Ellana resolved never to become a shepherd.

Ellana told the clan of Valorin’s passing and gave them the amulet he had been looking for. She told that the burial ground was once again in peace and that the golden halla was safe from hunters. That made the keeper decide that he would allow Loranil to join the Inquisition. Ellana thanked him sincerely. She had dinner with the clan and told of the Inquisition around the campfire. They were awed and somewhat incredulous of her stories but it appeared to make them more resolved in the importance of Loranil joining the Inquisition troops.

It was already dark, when the clan began to prepare for bed. Ellana and Loranil left the camp with Fen’Harel and walked far enough to have some privacy for their chat. They had not seen each other for a long time and much had happened since then.

“How do you like being with the Inquisition?” Loranil asked, “Do they treat you as they should?”

“They treat me better than my clan ever did,” Ellana said, “They think I am special, some sort of a hero sent by their god. It does not matter to them if that’s true or not. They need to believe that someone can save them and they think that someone is me.”

“I can’t blame them,” Loranil said, “Not after everything that has happened.”

“I just…”

“I know. You don’t like the attention. You would rather be left in the shadows, to lead a quiet life of study and beautiful magic. What happened in Haven took that choice away from you,” Loranil said and paused to think for a while before continuing, “Of course, you could still run away from the responsibility, but I know that you won’t. You, my friend, are too good a person to do that. You are the best person I know, and I am happy that others are finally seeing it, too.”

“Thank you,” Ellana said from the bottom of her heart, “You always were too kind to me.”

“Well, someone has to make up for you clan being asses.”

Ellana laughed.

“I have had months of people making up for that. Everyone in the Inquisition is so nice. They really seem to care for me.”

“I bet they do,” Loranil said with a twinkle in his eye, “Anyone particular, who cares for you? Takes care of your needs?”

“I would call many of them friends,” Ellana answered.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. Quit beating around the bush and tell me.”

“That’s a vulgar expression,” Ellana said.

“Only if you have a dirty mind, which I know to be true in your case,” Loranil said and nudged her playfully, “Come on, you are trying to avoid the subject.”

“I don’t know what to say about it,” Ellana admitted, “I have been told that many people want the Inquisitor experience, if you know what I mean.”

“I always know what you mean,” Loranil said, “So, you could basically have anyone you wanted.”

“I don’t know about that. But there are options.”

“Like that huge Qunari with the large sword?”

“He has a thing for redheads, yes,” Ellana admitted.

“Who else?”

“Does it really matter?”

“Oh, you like someone so much you don’t want to tell me,” Loranil was excited, “Spill it.”

“Fine, I like someone. But he has issues,” Ellana said.

“What sort of issues?”

“Bugger it if I know,” Ellana said and shrugged, “Ones that take time to think over.”

“Think over while doing it, at least?”

“Think over while doing nothing.”

“What, nothing?” Loranil raised an eyebrow.

“He won’t even kiss me before he has made up his mind.”

“He sounds like an utter moron. A really boring and inefficient one,” Loranil said, “If it was me, I would be doing it all the time, and thinking about things during dinner or something.”

“You are not the only one to have called him boring,” Ellana admitted, “But remember that not everyone is like you.”

“Not everyone likes sex?” Loranil looked incredulous, “So, who is this celibate Chantry brother?”

“I think it will be fun to let you figure that out once you have joined the Inquisition,” Ellana said, “Just don’t go around asking everyone about it.”

“You must be very stressed out about all that has happened,” Loranil said, “Because this idiot is not providing a release for you, I will gladly help you work out your stress.”

Loranil drew her closer and gave her a kiss.

“Thanks, but I think I will wait for his decision. I don’t want to blow my chance with him,” Ellana said.

“You really have it bad for this guy, don’t you?”

Ellana nodded.

“I can’t wait to meet him, then.”

“You might like him,” Ellana said, “But no going over to threaten him in ‘if you hurt her, I will kill you’ –style. It is unnecessary and pointless. In a fight, he would annihilate you.”

“I make no promises.”


	22. Solas Greatly Approves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has Solas picturing naughty things. If you cannot handle that, I advise you to go do your homework. You have been warned.

Ellana was playing with Fen’Harel on the yard of Skyhold, when she saw a familiar figure walk through the gates. Solas looked a little wearied and even graver than usual. Ellana went to meet him.

“How are you?” Ellana asked.

“It hurts, as it always does, but I will survive,” he answered. 

Fen’Harel ran to greet Solas. The mage crouched to pet the cub. 

“Thank you for coming back.”

“You were a true friend,” Solas said, “You did everything you could. I could hardly abandon you now.”

“You were gone for quite some time. What did you do?”

Solas told that he gone to sleep and visited the place in the Fade, where he used to meet his friend. They discussed the nature of spirits and what happened to them after they died. Ellana was glad that even when Solas was sad, he still was willing to teach.

“The next time you have to mourn, you don’t have to do it alone,” Ellana told him.

“It has been such a long time since I have trusted anyone. I will work on it,” he promised.

“I’m just happy that you are back,” Ellana said.

“Did I miss anything?” Solas asked as he got up and shooed Fen’Harel to be on his way.

“Not much. We noticed that the Orlesian army is not much of an ally if their work in the Exalted Plains is anything to go by. They have numbers but that’s it.”

“That is not promising. Let us hope that Corypheus will not gain knowledge of this.”

“Also, we received a new agent. We were able to convince the keeper of that Dalish clan to let one of his warriors come with us,” Ellana said, “Loranil is helping Cullen with great enthusiasm.”

“Would this be the same man who kissed you?” Solas asked and gave Ellana an enquiring look.

“Yes, it would,” Ellana admitted, “Do you mind?”

“It is not my place to mind, who you choose to kiss,” he said.

“I have no intention of kissing him until you make up your mind one way or the other.”

“There is no need…”

“Yes, there is,” Ellana said firmly.

Solas smiled at her. Ellana had missed that smile. She would gladly give up kissing Loranil or anyone else, if it meant that he kept smiling at her like that. A kiss would be nice, too. And a shag, but she would take, what she got.

“Oh, by the way, that Rivaini amulet arrived,” she told him.

“Good. Cole will be pleased.”

“That is an understatement,” Ellana said, “How about I go get him and we will meet you in the rotunda?”

“That is acceptable.”

\--

Ellana had hoped that when they had the amulet, everything would be smooth sailing from then on. It turned out that she had been gravely mistaken. It was anything but. The amulet did not work. Cole was panicking. Varric came to add his point of view into the mess. Cole had something in him that made the amulet malfunction. They went to look for the obstacle.

Cole led them to Redcliff, where he found a familiar man. The spirit went crazy. He yelled that the man had killed him. After listening to him for some time, the chain of events became clear. The original Cole had been an apostate. He was caught be the templars, by that man, to be more precise. He had locked him in the spire and forgotten about him. The spirit of compassion had come through from the Fade to help him, but it was no use. The apostate had starved to death, while the spirit had remained behind, in his shape.

Ellana felt sick. After all the things she had heard, she should not be surprised by anything she heard of the treatments of mages, but still. How could anyone do such a thing? No one would do that to an animal, how could you do that to a person?

“Let me kill him,” Cole said, his expression full of wrath, “I need to… I need to.”

It broke Ellana’s heart to see the spirit like that. His purpose was to help, to take away all the negative emotions. If he lost himself like this, he would become a demon. A despair demon. She remembered that “despair” had been his worst fear. She could not, would not, let that happen.

Solas wanted to help Cole become more like a spirit, whereas Varric argued for his growth into personhood. And, once again, it was Ellana, who had to make the choice. How do you decide something like that for someone else?

Cole liked to help, it was who he was. He was a spirit. As a spirit, he would be able to help more than as a person. He was also a person, though. He had become more than a spirit, when he had left the Fade. Should everyone not have the chance for growth? For Ellana, the important thing was that Cole wanted to help. Helping made him happy. She was pretty sure that he would be happier if he could be better at helping people.

“Cole is a spirit of compassion,” Ellana said, “Helping makes him happy. He can make that man, the scumbag that he is, happier by forgiving him. Helping even that piece of crap will make Cole happier.”

Solas nodded and helped Cole. He helped the spirit see the pain and guilt that troubled the man. Cole saw it and made him forget.

They were silent on the way back to Skyhold. Varric was troubled by Ellana’s decision. Ellana just hoped that she had made the right choice. Cole wore his amulet and jumped here and there to help the people they met. Solas was satisfied with what he saw but made the wise choice of not commenting.

They arrived at the gates of Skyhold.

“He could have been a person,” was all Varric said before leaving them.

“I wish I was right,” Ellana said after Cole had disappeared.

“Cole is a spirit,” Solas said, “There is no need to make it change to fit into our ideas of what it ought to be. This was the right choice.”

“Do you think it will take him time to get used to being what he is?”

“Being what he is? Feeling philosophical today, are we?” Solas said in a teasing tone.

“There’s nothing like a little philosophy in the evening, is there?”

“Do all the Dalish get ontological in the evening, or is it just you?”

“Do all the apostate hobos make as many sweeping statements, or is it just you?”

Solas laughed at her.

“Maybe we are special,” he said.

“So I have been told,” Ellana said and winked, “Even by you, if my memory serves me.”

“I do not know,” Solas said and touched his chin with the air of nonchalance, “I have said so many things about you, Inquisitor, I cannot be expected to remember all of them. ‘Special’ might have been one of them.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you are an ass?”

“Sera has been telling me that ever since she met me,” Solas said.

“I am shocked to my very core.”

“I can see that.”

“It’s good to have you back, Solas.”

“It is good to be back, Lavellan.”

\--

The next morning, Solas was up early, as was his custom. He had no idea, what Lavellan had planned for that day, and whether or not she needed him. His studies had lain untouched for so long that he decided to dive in until she announced her plans.

Solas had hardly managed to open his books, when he heard the sounds that heralded Lavellan’s approach. Fen’Harel’s panting echoed in the hallway as well as the almost non-existent sounds of Lavellan’s feet. She was no rogue but she knew how not to clomp around.

Solas raised his eyes to greet Lavellan, but when he saw her, the greeting died on his lips and his face froze. In the name of all that was good and holy, what was she wearing?

“Morning, Solas,” Lavellan greeted. After she took in his expression, she looked troubled.

“Are you all right?” Lavellan asked.

Solas gulped loudly and fought to gain control over his voice.

“Yes, I am fine,” he managed hoarsely, “Good morning to you.”

Lavellan was not convinced.

“Are you sure? You sound kind of funny and you look like you are in pain,” she said on walked closer to him.

Solas tried hard to come up with something to say. “You look so good in those robes that I want to bend you over my table and fuck you senseless,” was not an appropriate response. He would have to come up with something better, no matter, how hard it was to concentrate on anything besides the blood pooling south of his navel.

“I am perfectly fine, I assure you,” he said, “That is interesting apparel you are wearing.”

“Oh, this?” Lavellan said and turned around to show her robes, “We found an ancient shrine of Sylaise in the Exalted Plains. These robes were there, among other things. I thought they look nice. Very traditional.”

“Indeed,” Solas said. He was getting his breathing under control. It helped not to look at Lavellan.

“There was also this awesome ring,” Lavellan said and vanished.

Solas looked around in astonishment. Where had she gone? Fen’Harel didn’t seem to mind, but he was able to track his owner by her smell. That was not an option to Solas. He tried to figure out if she had come up with a new kind of magic.

“Surprise,” Lavellan whispered into his ear. Solas startled and found her sitting on his desk, very close to him.

“I knew you would like these robes, but I could never have guessed you would like them this much,” Lavellan said and her eyes briefly flicked towards his lap.

Solas felt himself blush all the way to the tips of his ears. Lavellan just laughed. She squeezed the tip of his left ear affectionately and leaped off his desk.

“As much as I would love to stay and see, where this goes, I have to get going. Cassandra, Varric, Vivienne, and I are storming Caer Oswin.”

“The four of you are going to storm a castle?”

“Of course not, that would be pure madness,” Lavellan said, “We will also have Fen’Harel.”

“Do try to come back alive,” Solas called out after her.

“I’ll see, what I can do,” the answer rang.

Solas was baffled by what had just happened. It was not like him to behave in such a manner. He desired Lavellan, but so far it had not come to the point, where it was necessary to hide his arousal from her. Those ancient Elven robes had been too much. He remembered women wearing them, women of power, mystery, and intrigue. Women, who were attractive and knew it. To see Lavellan in such clothing… Oh, to hear her speak her native tongue in such clothing…

Solas decided that he needed to snap out of it. He needed to study. He needed to not think of Lavellan sitting on his desk in those robes. He definitely needed to not think of Lavellan on her back on top of his books, while he kissed her lips and worshipped her body with his hands, covered her with his body, pressed her harder to the table…

Solas was not very successful in not thinking about Lavellan. It was not for lack of trying, though. It seemed that every few pages he read something that reminded him of something she had said or done, which brought about the mental image of how she had looked that morning. Solas was actually glad that she had not asked him to come with them. He would have been absorbed into staring her figure, which would have hindered his ability to fight.

After trying to study and failing, Solas gave up and went to walk around the fortress. On the yard, he saw the Dalish agent Lavellan had recruited. Solas was curious about the man, who was evidently her former lover.

“Andaran atish’an, Loranil,” Solas said.

“Andaran atish’an, hahren,” Loranil replied and also continued in Elven, “I am sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you,” Solas replied in the same tongue, “It is always hard to part with one’s friend. Which makes me wonder, how you are doing here, having parted from your clan?”

“I am doing well,” Loranil answered, “The people here are friendly and they have given me a warm welcome regardless of my origin. It seems that they realize that this threat is common to us all, whether we are human, elves, dwarfs, Qunari, or something else.”

“That is good to hear,” Solas said, “I take it that you know our illustrious leader?”

“Our clans run into each other regularly. I have known her for several years.”

“I find myself curious of her character before all of this happened,” Solas admitted, “Would you be willing to tell me something about her? If you are not comfortable, you don’t have to.”

Loranil’s look sharpened a little. Solas was almost positive that the warrior would refuse to tell him anything, regardless of the fact that he had called him hahren.

“She is a good person,” Loranil said.

“No one here doubts that,” Solas said.

“I guess there is no harm in telling a few things,” Loranil pondered, “She likes studying and knowledge. She likes creating things, because when she is doing that, she can live in the rich world inside her imagination. She is caring if she has someone to care for. She is the strongest person I have ever met. Most people would have crushed if they had experienced half the stuff that has happened to her, but she is a survivor. She hates having a big deal made out of her because her experience of attention has been negative most of the time.”

“That fits my image of her,” Solas said with a gentle smile that did not go unnoticed.

“You are the guy,” Loranil said. He wasn’t smiling anymore.

“Excuse me?”

“The idiot, who takes ages to decide, whether or not he wants her,” Loranil said, “What’s the matter with you? She is good, smart, funny, caring, and steaming hot. Is it the Dalish thing or the mage thing?”

“You have no idea, what you are talking about,” Solas said, “I am very well aware, how great a person Lavellan is.”

“You call her Lavellan? Do you not know, how badly her clan treated her, the bought mage?”

Solas was a little troubled. He had not thought of it that way.

“She has not corrected me,” he said but knew it was a weak excuse.

“Of course she hasn’t. Have you met her?”

“You are right. I will learn to call her something else,” Solas said, humbled.

“That’s a start,” Loranil said.

“You should also know, as her friend, that the qualms I have about the possibility of entering into a relationship with her have nothing to do with her. She is lovely and I would be lucky to have her.”

“You should,” Loranil said, “If you ever hurt her, I will hurt you, or die trying. She asked me not to say that to you but, as her friend, I am obliged to say it.”

“I understand.”

“I am glad we had this talk, hahren,” Loranil said and grinned, “Try not to take too long deciding. She looks like she could use a thorough pounding.”

“For once, I would like to have a conversation with a Dalish person and not have it end in perversity,” Solas said and sighed.

“Good luck with that, hahren.”

Solas returned to his studies and tried not to think of La—Ellana in those robes. He really did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The minute I saw those ancient Elven robes, my mind went: "Yes! Solas is going to love those!"
> 
> Also, that ring is awesome :) I could come up with quite a few dirty uses for it... But that would be smut, and Ellana and Solas are not there yet.
> 
> I lately realized that "Elven" should of course start with a capital letter. I will fix that one of these days if I have the time. Pardon my bad spelling.


	23. Oh, Balls!

The Inquisitor had been so busy for the past few days that Solas had hardly seen her. The Masque was approaching, so she had decided not to start anything big before it. Instead, she had been out and about helping her friends, while Solas had been buried in books. That was what he had planned on doing that day, when he walked into the rotunda.

The Inquisitor was sitting in his chair – if you could call it sitting. She was slouched on his table, her head buried in her hands with only the mess of red hair and the tips of her ears visible. Fen’Harel was lying under the table in such a small space that it was a miracle he fit into it.

“Inquisitor, are you all right?” Solas asked.

Lave-- Ellana didn’t raise her head, she just let out a grunt.

“Did you not sleep well? Has something happened?”

“Why does shit keep happening to my friends?” Ellana’s voice asked from under her hands.

“What sort of shit are you referring to?”

“Your friend died. Sera’s contacts were killed. Cassandra’s apprentice had a demon put inside of him and she had to kill him. Varric told his girlfriend about red lyrium and she gave Corypheus access to it. Josephine’s family is threatened by an ancient contract with a guild of assassins that has a name worthy of a whorehouse,” Ellana’s voice listed, “I’m sure there is more but it is too depressing to remember right now.”

“I am sorry,” Solas said and walked closer to her, “I can see that the past few days have been trying.”

“You can say that again,” Ellana said, “And if that was not enough, there’s the ball.”

“You don’t like balls?”

“Oh, I love balls,” Ellana said and her head jumped, “Just not the ones that include dancing. I enjoy balls privately.”

“Inquisitor…”

“Don’t give me that look. I know you said that to bait me out of my misery.”

“I did,” Solas smiled at her. He had come to know her a little, at least.

“Balls are just too easy,” Ellana said, “There’s a countless amount of bad jokes to be made. If you wish to have a proper discussion of the affair, I suggest you call it the Masque.”

“You are not looking forward to the Masque?” Solas asked.

“Apart from the food, no,” Ellana answered, “It is ridiculous. There is a war going on, why are the people celebrating, dancing, scheming, and backstabbing?”

“It is their way?” Solas suggested, though he completely agreed with her. The money spent on the festivities could feed many hungry refugees.

“If so, their way is stupid,” Ellana huffed, “I hate it even more that I have to indulge them. I have to learn to dance, scheme, and play the game with the best of them. And all of that, while I could be out there, saving lives. But oh, no, let’s send the Inquisitor to the Masque, to be looked down upon by the most useless people in Orlais.”

“I am sensing that you have something against the Orlesian nobility,” Solas said. He was trying to hold back his smile at her tirade, but was not being very successful.

“Really? You are sensing that, are you?” Ellana said and looked suspiciously at his smile, “Developing psychic powers, are we?”

The Inquisitor leaned back in his chair and crossed her arms. Solas shrugged under her gaze.

“I am absolutely positive that the Orlesian nobility has more against me,” Ellana said, “I should make a game out of how many times they call me a knife-ear, a rabbit, or a savage.”

“What an interesting idea. Against whom would you play? How do you win? What would be the prize?”

Ellana’s eyes narrowed. Solas felt his smile disappear.

“I think I will challenge my favorite apostate hobo.”

“You mean Dorian?”

“Har, har, you funny elf. You are coming with me.”

“As you wish,” Solas said, “What do I get when I win?”

“So cocky,” Ellana said and got up. She stepped right in front of him, as close as she could be without touching him.

“What do you want?” Ellana purred and looked him in the eye.

Solas’ pulse quickened. What could he say?

“I… I want a wish granted,” he said. That left him time to think, what that wish would be.

“Then it is settled,” Ellana said, “Whichever of us is called names more often during the Masque will have their wish granted by the other.”

“You two are strange,” a voice called from above them. As they looked up, Ellana stepped a little farther away from Solas.

Dorian peeked down from the library floor.

“Is eavesdropping a common practice in Tevinter?” Ellana asked the mage.

“Yes, it is,” Dorian answered, “How else would you know, what is happening behind closed doors? You could ask a demon, of course, but those pesky demons always seem to want something in return.”

“People use blood magic to eavesdrop?” Ellana sounded incredulous.

“People use blood magic to clean the house, mend their clothes, and take care of the children.”

“You are pulling my leg.”

“Fine. The slaves clean the house, people buy new clothes, and no one takes care of the children,” Dorian amended, “And to return to the subject at hand, I don’t consider it eavesdropping, when I can almost hear you from the comfort of my chair.”

The Inquisitor rolled her eyes at Solas.

“As much as that flawed statement cries out for a counterargument, I have to go practice dancing, etiquette, curtseying, and the other frivolities the Orlesians so admire. I will see you both later. Come on, Fen’Harel,” Ellana said and left the rotunda with the cub at her heels.

“I feel bad for her,” Dorian said, “I spent years practicing those things. Such wasted time.”

Dorian shook his head and returned to his books. Solas did the same. He hoped that the Inquisitor’s rage at the idiocy of the Masque would not hamper her performance there. If the Inquisition wanted to defeat Corypheus, they needed the support of the Orlesian nobility. Even if their mind was as soft as that cheese they were so fond of, they had connections, troops, and money, all of which were required for a successful war campaign.

\--

The Masque had barely started before Ellana had grown thoroughly frustrated. She fought the urge to tug at the hem of the ridiculous attire they had made her wear. She looked like a freaking page boy, for crying out loud! Whose idea had it been to stick her in this suit? The men looked magnificent in it. Josephine and Leliana made it work, too. But she was a scrawny elven woman. These clothes were not designed with elven women in mind.

Ellana was proud of herself for not having done something unspeakable to the announcer, when he had called Solas her “elven serving man”. She must have flinched, though. She wondered if Solas was ahead of her in their game. She had been doing rather well, herself. She had not taken three steps through the front gate before being called ‘knife-eared savage’ and ‘rabbit’. And that had only been the beginning.

Ellana was also proud that she had kept her face straight, when the empress had spoken to her. Celene had maintained a pose that suggested there might be something wrong with her wrists. Or maybe she was sweating like a pig because of all the stress and didn’t want stains in the armpits of her dress. Who knew?

The rest of the night was spent in pointless intrigues. Everyone tried to bribe Ellana and turn her against everyone else. Leliana tasked her with eavesdropping (she should have brought Dorian) and finding material for blackmail. She had more pointless conversations than she’d had in her life thus far. She found coins that she was expected to throw into a fountain for some Creatorsforsaken reason.

It was a relief to Ellana, when she was able to leave the party in order to break into places and explore them. That joy vanished as soon as she found the dead servants lying on the ground.

“This is what they call collateral damage,” Varric said.

Ellana was silent. She hated this. Hated the frivolity, the gossip, the lies, the game played with the lives of others. Someone was responsible. Someone was going to pay. She almost welcomed the fighting, which scared her a little bit. She would have to think about it later, when this mess was over.

\--

“You want me to decide, who will rule Orlais?”

Ellana sighed. Of course they did. When they had made her the Inquisitor because of her bloody glowing hand, they had made her responsible for decisions that would affect the fate of empires. Knowing it didn’t make it any more pleasant.

“I want to have more information before making this decision,” she said.

“You have to choose,” Leliana chided her, “Inaction is a choice, Inquisitor.”

Still, off they went, to look for more dirty secrets. It appeared that everyone in court had plenty of those.

“You have developed a considerable skill in dancing, Inquisitor,” Solas said, as they were ‘casing the joint’, as Varric had put it.

“Thank you, Solas,” Ellana answered without enthusiasm, “It is good to know that when Corypheus comes knocking, I can dance circles around him.”

“Dancing is a form of exercise to help with controlling one’s body. It will be useful in time,” Solas mused, “Dancing makes you very aware of the movement of your muscles and the position of your limbs. It will help in developing your staff technique.”

“That’s what he said,” Varric said behind him.

Ellana smiled at her friends. She appreciated their efforts at making her less grim. They were right. She had moped enough.

“All right, my friends. There are three doors here. Who wants to make bets on what we will find behind them?”

“Someone will be naked,” Varric said straightaway.

“There’s bound to be at least one body,” Blackwall stated.

“A demon of some sort,” Solas guessed.

“I think I will go with a strange pet,” Ellana said.

They went through the rooms. They found an assassin, a scared servant, some documents, and…

“I win,” Varric called out, when they found the naked man tied to the empress’ bed.

After sorting that excessively Orlesian mess, they went outside.

“I win, too,” Solas said, though he did not sound happy about it. Being attacked by demons and assassins can dampen your spirit somewhat.

The duchess with the terrible complexion had meant them to die in the garden, but they did not. They killed the assassins and the demons and closed the rift.

“Should we go inside?” Blackwall suggested when they were done.

“Just a moment,” Ellana said and wandered around the garden, “Wow! I can’t believe the amount of coin people have dropped here! There are purses everywhere, and they often have more than 100 pieces in them.”

“How rich do you have to be not to notice that kind money missing?” Varric asked.

“You know, I have thought about it,” Ellana said from behind a bush, “I am thinking that all this money has been dropped by people having trysts in the garden.”

“How so?” Varric inquired.

“Think about it. When you are getting it good, you don’t really think about anything else. You move frantically, a purse drops, but you are not thinking about money at the moment. Well, here you might be,” Ellana amended, “Anyhow, you are having a quickie in the middle of a party, so you have to return before you are missed. That means that you make sure to look presentable, not that you are carrying your purse.”

“That… Makes sense,” Varric admitted.

“Your mind works in mysterious ways, Inquisitor,” Solas said.

“Really? Earlier you talked of the ‘heady blend of power, intrigue, danger, and sex that permeates these events’, and I am the one with the mysterious mind?”

“You really said that?” Blackwall asked.

“Yes.”

“This is bringing out a whole new side of you, Chuckles,” Varric said.

“I think we are done with looting the garden,” Ellana said and returned to the others, “Let’s go save an empress’ ass and decide, which of these terrible people gets to rule this empire.”

“It sounds like you love your job, Inquisitor,” Varric said.

“You are welcome to it. And the glowing hand.”

“No way. I prefer writing about it.

\--

Ellana leaned on the balcony railing and inhaled deeply. Finally, it was all over. The power struggle was done, the Masque was finished, and she would soon be out of this place. She smiled at the stars that were alight on the sky. In no time at all she would be sleeping under them again.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

“They ran out of punch,” Ellana said and turned to look at Solas.

“Are you feeling any better?” Solas asked.

“I’m just happy that it is over. I am sorry for how crabby I have been throughout the entire thing. I have not been built for such things. I prefer the company of animals to that of the Orlesian nobles.”

“Despite that, you did manage well,” Solas told her, “I am glad to see that your ability in motivational speaking has improved.”

“Josephine gave me some pointers. She explained to me that my usual style of expression would not have suited the sensibilities of the noble class. Apparently, ‘get off your bloody arses, you fucking wankers, and do something that we won’t lose this freaking war’, would not have been well received.”

Solas chuckled.

“I would have liked to see that,” he said.

“Maybe next time,” Ellana promised, “How did you do on those offenses?”

They took out their cheat sheets and compared the numbers. They were even.

“I suggested we interpret that as a win for the both of us,” Ellana said.

“I agree,” Solas said, “What is your wish?”

Ellana looked at him intently.

“I do have one. A very particular one. I have been thinking about it all night…”

“Oh? What might that be?” Solas asked in a low voice.

“I humbly request that you take off that bloody awful hat. Please. Just looking at it makes me cringe.”

Solas laughed out loud and took the hat off.

“Is it really that bad? I hadn’t thought about it,” he admitted.

“Only a man can go to a Masque and not think about what he looks like,” Ellana said, “And yes, it is that bad. If you had forgone the hat, I most definitely would have won. You didn’t pick it yourself, did you?”

“No, I did not,” Solas said, “I simply put on, what was handed to me. Josephine was responsible for the attires.”

“Thank you for the information. I have a couple of thoughts I want to share with her.”

“You are welcome. I believe it is my turn to have a wish granted.”

“You are correct. What do you wish?”

Solas extended his hand to Ellana.

“May I have this dance?”


	24. How Does This Work?

Ellana had hoped that returning to Skyhold would mean that the games were left behind, but it appeared that there was a different kind of game afoot. The Chantry was still looking for a divine. Ellana sighed. The Chantry was as inefficient as the Orlesian army – they’d had months to find a new leader but, instead of doing that, they had used their time arguing and undermining the Inquisition. Now that the Inquisition had the favor of Orlais, the former heretics were suddenly acceptable again. The Chantry was asking the Inquisition to provide them with not one, but two candidates for the divinehood, or whatever it was that they called the thing.

Ellana had no doubt that either Cassandra or Leliana would make a great divine. They were both spiritual and driven women, who were capable of leadership and wished to improve the institution. If they were willing to take the job, she would be happy to support them. As much as she disliked the Chantry, it was not going to be destroyed. People sincerely believed. Should it remain, it would benefit everyone if it was the best it could be. The leader had a lot to do with that.

Ellana walked the ramparts with Fen’Harel as she thought of all that had happened at Halamshiral. She was not the only one doing that.

“Inquisitor.”

“Hello, Cullen,” Ellana said and smiled at the Commander, “I trust that you are feeling better.”

“Yes, much better, thank you,” he answered.

Ellana looked at him. He did look much better than before. Cullen had been battling with his lyrium withdrawal for quite some time. In one of his darker days, he had asked Cassandra to find a replacement for him, but she had refused. Cassandra believed in him, as did Ellana. The Inquisition was his chance to start fresh. If someone could kick lyrium addiction, it was Cullen.

“I feel like I owe you an apology,” Ellana said, “When Cassandra urged me to support you in this, she said something that has been bothering me. She said that the mages have made their suffering known, but the templars have not. As an apostate, I never thought it like that. Templars were always the boogiemen to me; the evil agents of the foreign Chantry that wanted to lock me up for something I had not chosen for myself. When I heard news of the terrible things the templars did, it only strengthened my bad opinion of the whole order. Don’t get me wrong, I am still not happy about it. But having seen the struggle you have bravely faced, I have come to realize the burden templars have to bear. I keep thinking that there must be a better way for all of us to live with the reality of magic. But my point is – I am sorry to have misjudged your order.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor,” Cullen said sincerely, “Not just for saying that, but for helping me, as well.”

“Don’t mention it. I am proud of you for the struggle you have survived. You have done a magnificent work both personally and professionally. The Inquisition is lucky to have you.”

“We are doing what is right. I am happy to be here. Much happier than I was to be at Halamshiral, that’s for sure,” Cullen said and shivered at the thought of the Masque.

“You didn’t like the party?” Ellana asked, masking her smile, as she remembered, how uncomfortable the Commander had been.

“It felt like being surrounded by the enemy, unarmed and with no escape,” Cullen said, distaste plain on his face.

“But you were the hit of the party! Leliana tells me that the Inquisition has been flooded with letters asking about you, specifically.”

Cullen’s expression turned to pure terror.

“Don’t tell them anything, please! I hated the attention.”

“I don’t know. You did look delicious in that attire. It wouldn’t hurt to look through the letters. Maybe there is one from a lady, who would be perfect for you. I think a little romance would do you good. You would have something else to think about besides the Inquisition and Corypheus. Unless you like thinking about him…” Ellana had watched Cullen’s expressions in fascination, but decided to stop torturing the man, “Seriously, though, why don’t you try your hand at dating?”

“For years now, my life has been dedicated to serving the Chantry,” Cullen said, looking vexed, “Not that I wouldn’t mind to have… Someone. I just have no idea, how to go about it.”

“I could give you a few tips if I wasn’t such an inept dolt in this area myself. Although I am a woman,” Ellana said and looked at Cullen’s embarrassed expression, “Really, I am. I have tits to prove it.”

Cullen panicked.

“Of course you are, I have never doubted it. I just…” Cullen mumbled, his face red and his hands swinging around, “See? This is what I do. I break down. I can’t talk about any of this.”

“What I meant to say was that, as a woman, I could at least tell you, how a man could approach me,” Ellana said gently, “I guess there are rules to how this sort of thing works, but those bend a little, since we are in a war.”

Cullen nodded, which Ellana took as a sign to continue.

“It is not necessarily a bad thing that you are so awkward. It sort of works for you, in fact. It adds to your charm. You are the male equivalent of a blushing virgin bride. You should use that. If you chose a certain kind of woman, it would be enough for you to hang around her, blushing. Also, compliments, honest ones, are always nice. Listen to the woman and find out, what she likes. Women are very different. Some like poems while others want to be spanked.”

“I… I…” The blush had turned permanent.

“I would hold off for later till asking about the whole spanking thing, though. Unless it is Bull you are going for. You can just walk up to him with a whip and ask him to go behind the stable.”

It looked like Cullen’s eyeballs might explode. Ellana chided herself for enjoying this too much.

“I get the feeling that Bull is not exactly your type. How about Cassandra?” Ellana suggested, “You like her, don’t you?”

“Cassandra is a very capable warrior and her resolve had a lot to do with the founding of the Inquisition,” Cullen managed to say.

“Not to mention that she is beautiful and charming, isn’t she?”

“I believe so.”

“I happen to know that she is a romantic,” Ellana said, thinking about Cassandra’s secret fascination with trashy novels, “And she has stood up for you more times than one. I think she would not be opposed to getting to know you better. I think that the two of you would be good together.”

“You really think so?” Cullen asked. He appeared to be considering Ellana’s words.

“Yes. You are both wonderful, driven people with similar pasts, interests, and personalities. I think you might hit it off.”

“How would I go about… Getting to know her?”

“You could ask her to play that board game with you. Then talk over the game, maybe have a drink later. Ask about her life, interests, family, and so on. It’s as simple as that.”

“I… Think I can do that. Thank you, Inquisitor. You are a true friend.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Cullen,” Ellana said, “Just remember not to ask her about the spanking. It might scare her off, since she does not seem like a spanking kind of lady. Then again, what do I know? If you want advice on that area, I would suggest that you seek Bull’s counsel.”

Ellana left the still blushing Commander and continued her walk. She had not talked with Cole for a while and meant to amend that. The spirit was at his usual hangout.

“Cole, how does it feel now that you are more of a spirit?”

“I can do more, hear more, help more. Nothing holding me back. I can heal hurts I didn’t hear before. They will never know but I know, thanks to you,” Cole replied.

“Are you happy?”

“Easier to help. Helping makes me happy.”

“I have often wondered, how you feel about killing,” Ellana said.

“It’s easier when it’s monsters. People are more difficult, knowing that they can change. You feel that, too.”

“Yes, I do.”

“You feel guilt for killing them. But they chose to hurt others. That washes clean the blades I wield. That should wash away your guilt, if you let it,” Cole said.

Ellana sighed. During the past year, she had grown conflicted about the issue. She still hated to kill and felt that everyone should have the chance to atone for the bad things they had done. This had to be weighed against the fact that there were some people, who were so evil they were not people anymore. They were monsters. Should they be allowed to keep living and hurting others? Ellana would answer ‘yes’ to living and ‘no’ to hurting others, but how would you keep them from doing that? Corypheus had been locked in a prison for who knows how long, and what had been the result? Utter chaos. He needed to be killed.

“Yes,” Cole said. He seemed to have been following Ellana’s train of thought.

“Sorry for forgetting myself.”

“Corypheus should die.”

“I know. What I am afraid of, is that judging one to death will lead to judging another and another. If you do that long enough, you will forget, what was the reason for giving people second chances. You will forget that people can change.”

“Slippery slope,” Cole said.

Ellana looked at the spirit, surprised.

“I had no idea you were familiar with the terms of argumentation,” she said.

“You were thinking it.”

“Yes, but I also know that real life does not work according to the rules of formal argumentation.”

“You are sad,” Cole said and vanished.

Ellana expected him to return and he did, after a while.

“Solas is thinking about you. You should go see him, he will make you happy.”

Ellana smiled at him.

“Thank you, Cole. You make me happy, too.”

“Making you happy makes me happy,” the spirit said and vanished again.

Ellana and Fen’Harel went downstairs.

\--

Solas was deep in thought, his books sitting forgotten on the desk. He was thinking about Ellana, who else? Everything she did, everything she was… She was remarkable. Solas hoped he had run into her years ago. Would it have changed anything? Would his life have been different? Or hers? What if he had come across her clan, when she had been younger? Could he have taken her from them, spared her some of the pain and disapproval?

Solas knew Ellana was not the only one waiting for his resolution concerning them. Her friends had commented on the situation more than once, some by innuendo, others more directly. So far, the most straightforward had been Sera. They had been venturing out somewhere. The Inquisitor had just marked a location with the pole of the Inquisition, when Sera had turned to him and said: “You should stick your pole in and claim her already. If you won’t, get out of the way! There’s a line, can’t you see it?”

Despite the coarseness of expression so habitual of the rogue, she was right. Solas was aware that there were many people who would not hesitate to stand by Ellana’s side and warm her bed. Thinking that made him a little angry and jealous, though he tried not to dwell on it. This should not be about other people, this should be about the two of them. He could still refuse her, and spare her the hurt… But, he had to admit to himself, it hurt to even think about letting her go.

Cole appeared in front of his desk.

“She wants to make you happy,” the spirit said, “Why won’t you let her?”

“I will hurt her,” Solas said. He knew the spirit understood.

“She’s been hurt before. She’s never been loved before. It’s worth the hurt.”

Solas just stared at Cole and turned the words in his head. The spirit… Might be right.

“I… Thank you, Cole.”

Cole nodded and disappeared.

\--

Ellana found Solas standing in the rotunda, staring at the wall. When he heard her approach, he turned around. He looked nervous, which was not a usual expression for him.

“Inquisitor, I… Might I have a moment? I wish to ask you something.”

“Of course, Solas,” Ellana said. She wondered what he could be so anxious about.

“Could we go somewhere more private?”

“Does my office work for you?” Ellana suggested.

“Yes, thank you.”

They walked through the hall and up the steps without further discussion. Ellana saw that Solas was deep in thought. She was growing more and more curious of the reason for his behavior. When they reached their destination, Fen’Harel went to his usual resting place and the elves walked to the balcony.

“What were you like before the anchor?” Solas asked, “Has it affected you? Changed you in any way? Your mind, your morals, your… Spirit?”

Ellana gave it some thought because Solas was so serious.

“I don’t think so,” she finally replied, “I am still me, just with a glowing hand and a lot more enemies. Why do you ask?”

“You have shown a wisdom I have not seen since… Since my deepest journeys into the ancient memories of the Fade. You are not what I expected.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“It’s not disappointing, it’s…” Solas said and sighed, “Most people are predictable. You have shown subtlety in your actions, a wisdom that goes against everything I expected.”

“People might surprise you, if you give them the chance,” she said and smiled at him.

“Perhaps you are right. Most people act with so little understanding of the world, but not you.”

“So, what does this mean, Solas?

“It means I have not forgotten the kiss,” he said.

Ellana walked closer to him.

“Good,” she said and stepped into his space, though without touching him.

Solas looked at Ellana for a while, but shook his head a little and made to leave. Ellana took his hand gently and asked him not to go.

“It would be kinder in the long run,” he said, his back still turned to her, “But losing you would…”

He turned around and kissed her. He placed his hands softly on her waist to hold her near. Ellana sighed into the kiss and opened her mouth to welcome his questioning tongue. He was such a good kisser, gentle and intense at the same time. His hands moved on her back to draw her closer to him. The moment was a piece of heaven on earth.

Solas broke away from the kiss, and looked Ellana in the eye.

“Ar lath ma, vhenan,” he said with a solemn expression that melt Ellana’s heart. Then he let go of her and left the balcony.

“Solas,” Ellana called after him.

Solas stopped and turned to look at her.

“Do you really think that I will simply let you go after you said something that wonderful?”

“What do you intend to do, then?” Solas asked with a smile.

Ellana stood still for a moment and considered her idea. It seemed sound, so she decided to go with it. She took a few running steps and launched herself into Solas’ lap. He toppled over, straight onto her bed. She had calculated the trajectory just right.

Solas looked stumped, but his expression changed as soon as Ellana bent down to kiss him. His hands came up to explore her more freely than before. She leaned on his muscled chest and felt the quickness of his heartbeat. She hummed her appreciation.

When they stopped for air, Ellana lowered her lips to Solas’ ear.

“Solas, ar lath ma,” she whispered.

Ellana enjoyed how his breath stuck for the tiniest moment at her words. She returned her lips to his. Kissing him felt so good, it had been well worth the wait. Going by the bulge in his pants, she was pretty sure that he liked it, too.

After a considerable amount of kissing, Solas lifted himself, and Ellana with him, into a sitting position.

“Vhenan,” he said, “As much as I delight in kissing you, I think we should take our time before going further.”

“Are you sure?” Ellana asked and ground her hips once into his, “Your body does not seem to agree with you.”

“Yes, I am sure,” Solas said, sounding resolved, “Before I take you, I would enjoy courting you.”

“Courting me?” Ellana asked in disbelief, “I really don’t want to know how old you are, do I?”

Solas chuckled. He caressed her face with his thumb and gave her a light kiss on the nose.

“No, you don’t,” he said.

“I have never been courted before.”

“All the more reason for me to do it.”

“Will that make you happy?” Ellana asked.

“Yes,” Solas said, “That will make me happy.”

“Then go ahead, by all means,” Ellana promised, “How does it work? Can I still kiss you, while you are courting me?”

“I would think you remiss, if you didn’t.”


	25. Historical Troubles

That night Solas visited Ellana’s dream and she had took him to see the memory of the Crossroads Morrigan had showed her. Ellana loved sharing it with Solas. It was amazing to walk around with him in that foggy, beautiful place that was so full of elven history. They wandered around, looking at the Eluvians, the strange trees, and the castles.

Solas showed Ellana some other memories of places with Eluvians. She couldn’t help but marvel the civilization that had built such things, and how almost all of it had vanished.

“This is beautiful and sad,” Ellana said.

“How so?”

“Why have we lost all this? How can these miracles have been forgotten? The ancient elves left no roads because they needed none. Why does no one know about this?”

“The elves have lost more than immortality, vhenan,” Solas said.

Ellana nodded.

“I wish I could do something. I wish it was possible to reclaim our heritage.”

Solas drew Ellana into his arms and kissed her forehead.

“Maybe someday you will, vhenan. But first we need to defeat Corypheus.”

“You are right. If he takes over the world, there will be no heritage to reclaim, or anyone to reclaim it,” Ellana admitted, “Let’s not think about him. He troubles our days, but our nights are our own.”

“You are wise.”

“You only say that when I agree with you.”

“That is wise,” Solas said with a cocky grin.

“No wonder you are called Solas. Did you choose it yourself or did someone give it to you?”

“I chose the name myself.”

“There is a lot of that going around. Why did you choose Solas?”

“I was in a point of my life, where I felt I had nothing left but my pride,” Solas answered.

“I am sorry that you have faced such a state,” Ellana said, “I am glad that you came through it.”

“It left a mark. But things have changed since then. Now, I have more than just my pride,” he said and kissed her.

\--

Ellana woke up happy. She walked around her room, singing, when she completed her morning routine. Fen’Harel was pleased that his mistress was energetic, and followed after her hopping and yipping. They went downstairs for breakfast and Ellana didn’t stop singing until she stepped into the main hall. She fed Fen’Harel and took some food for herself. Then she went to the table and exchanged greetings with the early morning crowd.

“Morning, Cullen, Cassandra,” Ellana said as she sat down.

The warriors flinched and moved hastily further away from each other. Cullen was so red you could probably have made breakfast on his face, and even Cassandra was blushing. Interesting, Ellana thought.

“Inquisitor, did you sleep well?” Cullen asked.

“Yes, I did. Remarkably well,” Ellana said with a wide grin, “And yourselves?”

There were two polite nods by people, who looked to be fascinated by the texture of the wall.

“I am glad,” Ellana said and smiled so widely her face almost split, “Did anything interesting happen last night? I retired early, so I am not caught up with anything that has happened since.”

“Sera won a drinking competition against Varric,” Cassandra said, “She was quite proud and announced that you owe her a drink.”

“What? Sera won a drinking contest against Varric?” Ellana asked, sidetracked, “How is that possible? He’s Varric! He used to live in a bar. And he’s a dwarf, for crying out loud!”

“I take it that she has been practicing,” Cullen said, “That’s what she said, anyway.”

“Wow. That is definitely worth a drink, even though I don’t remember promising her one for that accomplishment,” Ellana said, “Hold on. How do you two know about this?”

There was more blushing.

“We… Happened to be at the tavern last night,” Cassandra said.

Ellana beamed at them. She was so proud of Cullen. And Cassandra, too.

“Oh, shut up,” Cassandra said.

“I didn’t say anything,” Ellana defended herself.

“You didn’t have to.”

“Fine. I am done with my breakfast now. I will go and take my smile elsewhere. You two enjoy your morning,” Ellana said and left.

Ellana walked with Fen’Harel towards the stables. She saw one of Leliana’s scouts standing in the doorway and went to see, what he had to say. He told her that Blackwall had gone missing upon reading a piece of news about the execution of someone charged with the Callier Massacre, whatever that was. When Ellana checked the stable to see if the Warden had left something behind, she came across a letter, addressed to her. He had gone off to do the right thing, whatever that was.

The last few conversations Ellana’d had with Blackwall had been so dark that she was a little worried for him. He had said that she made saving the world look easy. He had drawn inspiration from that for something or other. Blackwall had a streak of war romanticism in him, which might translate in a way that was not good for his wellbeing. Ellana decided that they should look him up to see that he was all right.

\--

Generally, Ellana liked it when she was right. As the Inquisitor, she had to make so many important decisions that it would totally suck if she was wrong. But she would have loved to have been wrong about Blackwall. She had to look in horror as he walked up the steps to the hangman and declared himself responsible for killing a whole household. His real name was Thom Rainier, and he was not a Warden. No wonder his knowledge of the order had always been so iffy.

Thom Rainier was taken into custody and hauled into the closest jail. Ellana went to see him. She told him she wanted to help, but he was too deep in self-loathing to really hear her. Ellana felt like hitting him on the head to make him listen to her, but the bars made it impossible. She would just have to show him. No way was she going to let them kill him for the one mistake he had spent his whole life trying to atone for. He could still help and Ellana would let him. She told Josephine to work her magic.

Josephine was efficient and, in no time at all, Rainier was in front of the Inquisitor’s throne. He was still whining about not being allowed to do the right thing.

“You want to make up for what you did? You want to make a difference? You couldn’t have done that if you were dead,” Ellana pointed out, “Now, you have your freedom. What are you going to do with it?”

“I will continue helping the Inquisition,” he said, “That’s the right thing to do.”

“Good. What do we call you now?”

“I would like to continue going by Blackwall. It reminds me of what I ought to be.”

“As you wish,” Ellana said, “Resume your post, Blackwall.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor.”

After he left, Ellana remained on her throne. She leaned on her hand and gazed into nowhere.

“Inquisitor?”

Ellana startled and looked at Varric.

“Sorry, Varric, I didn’t see you arrive. How are you?”

“Just dandy. You seemed far away. What’s on your mind?”

“You judge people, right? In your stories?”

“I don’t follow.”

“When you write a story, you judge the characters. You get to choose, who is good, who is bad, who is punished, who dies, and who lives happily ever after,” Ellana explained.

“Sure,” Varric said, “That’s a part of being a writer.”

“Do you think it accomplishes anything? I mean, do you think that it makes people think about real life, their own choices and morals?”

“I don’t know,” Varric said, “You’d have to ask one of my readers.”

“Do you wish to affect them?”

“That isn’t why I write,” Varric mused, “But I wouldn’t mind it if some of them thought about idiotic things before doing them.”

“Don’t your heroes always do idiotic things? Hawke certainly did.”

“I meant ‘evil idiotic’, not ‘Hawke idiotic’. Was this really, what you were thinking just now?”

“I was thinking about being the judge, whether I like it or not.”

“You have to think if you like something or not?” Varric raised an eyebrow at her.

“Candies, no, judging, yes. It isn’t simple. I am leaning on liking it, though I always thought that I wouldn’t. I like that I can maybe make people see reason. Maybe I can change lives. I was able to give Blackwall a chance to stay alive and keep helping. I was able to do the same to Florianne, no matter how rotten she was. She will still have a chance to amend her ways, when she works on that farm. I could give people a hundred speeches on good deeds with no result. When I say it as a judge, they have to heed me.”

“You like the power,” Varric said.

“I like what the power can accomplish.”

“Can the power accomplish taking my hangover away? That would be nice.”

Ellana laughed at him.

“Not the power, but I can. I have a special potion for just that purpose. I’ll make you some, come on,” she said and hopped off the throne, “Did you take a rematch against Sera?”

“No. We got some new recruits that were big fans of mine and wanted to buy me a drink. Each.”

“I take it that there were a lot of them.”

“Yes, there were. Being successful is bad for my health.”

\--

The Inquisition had finished two big undertakings in the Exalted Plains. Ellana and her friends traveled there to take care of the rest.

“Which do you want to kill first? Freaking big lizards or undead?” Ellana asked.

“Undead? Again?” Sera whined.

“I’m with her,” Varric said.

“We could do that first and enjoy the big lizards later,” Bull suggested.

“Why does it sound dirty, when you say it?” Sera asked.

“It’s Bull,” Varric and Blackwall said at the same time. Even Cassandra was nodding her head.

“Bull votes for the undead. Anyone object?”

No one did, so they went to rekill the undead. The situation was the same as it had been on the ramparts. Undead and arcane horrors needed to be put down and body pits burned. There were no warriors in sight regardless of the fact that they were right in front of a fortress. If anyone was alive inside, they were staying put.

When they went into the fortress, it was soon apparent, why the soldiers had stayed inside. The place was a nightmare. For starters, it had a revenant as the bouncer. Once they killed it, they ran into countless reanimated corpses and a few demons. If that wasn’t enough, there were roaming death rays that burned everything in their path.

“Solas, do you have any idea, what that is?” Ellana asked as she tried to stay away from the ray and fight at the same time. It was not easy.

“An old elven magic, I should think. It is meant to keep the castle safe.”

“Taking into account the amount of demons and corpses, I should say that it is not doing a very thorough job,” Ellana said.

“Couldn’t we go through the roof?” Sera asked.

“I don’t think that would work. We will just have to be cautious,” Ellana said.

They did try. The elves managed pretty well, though even they got singed every once in a while. Bull got burned all the time. Qunari were simply not built for leaping around stuff. They were meant to go through stuff.

“Bull, do we need to talk about caution?” Ellana asked as the Qunari was going through health potions like shots on a dare.

“I’m a big boy, Boss, I know about caution,” Bull yelled, “During certain days of a month, a woman should only be taken orally to avoid pregnancy.”

“Dirthara-ma,” Ellana cursed, “I meant about fighting!”

“No fighting when your mouth is full.”

“Congratulations, Bull,” Ellana said, “Your mind is officially dirtier than mine. As a prize, you can stay off those bloody death rays and not get burned alive.”

“Thanks, Boss. I’ll work on it,” Bull promised.

They made their slow way through the fortress and turned the defenses off. The Inquisition had again saved the asses of Orlesian soldiers. They really had a knack of getting into trouble, Ellana thought.

Ellana’s group of friends spent the night at the Inquisition camp, telling stories and laughing together. Some less than refined criticism was directed at the Orlesian army. Even Vivienne was growing weary of defending them.

“There was a lot of sloppy fighting,” Bull said, “People get tired, they fight hard, not smart.”

“That’s true,” Blackwall said, “There’s no strategy in a tired mind, just pure survival.”

“Don’t you need a strategy for survival?” Ellana asked, petting Fen’Harel absentmindedly.

“The only thing you need for survival is arrows,” Sera commented.

“Booze might also be nice,” Dorian added.

“And people. People are nice, except for when they are not,” Cole said.

“So arrows, booze, and people,” Varric summed up, “Works for me and Bianca.”

“I don’t even need the arrows,” Ellana said and got up, “Thank you for today, my friends, it has been fun. Now, to bed, all of you. It has been a long day of killing and saving Orlesian asses. Tomorrow we get to enjoy the big lizards… That really does sound dirty, regardless of who says it, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, it does,” Varric admitted.

“Anyhow, good night,” Ellana said. 

She walked up to Solas and kissed him goodnight. When she heard the gasps behind her, she turned to look at the others. The surprise on Cassandra’s face was priceless. Varric, Bull, Sera, and Dorian were grinning. The others showed no emotion to speak of.

“Finally!”

“About time!”

Ellana winked at them, gave Solas another kiss, and went to sleep.

The next morning they left early to kill the big lizards. There were a lot of them. And they were crazy. When they got hurt, they started bucking in one place. Ellana had no idea, what that was meant to accomplish. Maybe it was purely for the mayhem. Many of the lizards had something against Solas. They rushed him often and the others had to help him up or cover his ascend time and again.

“You falling down, old man?” Bull asked.

“They are vulnerable to spirit damage, which I inflict,” Solas said, as he was getting up yet again, “They see me as a threat.”

“Oh, I just thought you liked being squished under huge lizards,” Sera said.

“You might be confusing me with someone else.”

“Did he… Bull, did he actually make a joke?” Sera asked.

“Almost.”

“The Inquisitor must be rubbing off on you,” Sera said.

“It certainly looked like that last night,” Bull said.

“People, let him be, please,” Ellana begged, “If you want to tease someone, you can tease me.”

“We can do that.”

They moved into the maze, killing any and every lizard they saw. Until there was a roar above them, accompanied by the sounds of mighty wings.

“Boss, we will kill that dragon, right?” Bull asked, excited, “That counts as a big lizard to be enjoyed?”

“I would say so. But I don’t want you to get hurt. We need more people. You hang out in here and I will fly to fetch us some reinforcements.”

\--

The dragon had no chance against the whole group. It went down and a hurrah arose. They returned to the camp to celebrate their second successful dragonslaying.

As the party was raging, Ellana and Solas snuck out to spend a moment alone. They walked hand in hand the beautiful and peaceful grounds of Ghilan’nain’s Grove, comparing stories of Ghilan’nain. There were many differences, but the essence remained the same. They stood in one place to watch the night sky.

“Vhenan,” Solas said, looking deep into Ellana’s eyes, “You look especially lovely tonight, with the moonshine on your eyes.”

“You look good, too, Solas. I like the way the moon shines on that sexy bald,” Ellana replied, but seeing his disapproval, she hastily added, “You are too kind to me. I’m sorry. And I do like your bald. I just…”

“You don’t like receiving compliments because you don’t feel like you deserve them. Hence, you deflect with humor.”

“Yes,” Ellana said, her head bowed.

“Look at me, vhenan,” Solas told her gently, and she obeyed.

“I will not stop giving you compliments. You are beautiful,” he kissed her, “and good,” he kissed her again, “and wise,” and again, “You deserve to be told all those things, and more. I will tell you that until you believe me.”

Ellana smiled at him.

“I think I like being courted,” she said.

“I thought you would.”

“It will take me time to get used to being complimented,” she admitted, “Could you maybe do it in a language I don’t understand? Tevene, perhaps?”

“You want me to compliment you in Tevene?”

“I’ll trade you. You compliment me in Tevene, I’ll compliment you in Elven,” Ellana said and chuckled at Solas’ expression, “I know you like it when I speak Elven.”

“I accept the trade.”


	26. The Bestseller

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader, ahoy! I changed the rating of this work to mature just to be on the safe side.

”What are you chuckling about?”

Ellana looked up from the book she had been reading. Solas was painting the wall of the rotunda, but her sounds of amusement had broken his focus.

“I am reading Varric’s novel,” Ellana said.

“Which one? I gather he has been productive.”

“The one about me. He has just released the first chapter. I understand this one will cover the events from the conclave to Corypheus’ attack on Haven.”

“He has already written a book about you? When did he have the time?” Solas wondered.

“I honestly don’t know. He must be very efficient.”

“What’s it called?”

“Savior from The Fade,” Ellana replied and grinned, “I haven’t read much yet, but I am already hooked. Varric has a gift for entertainment. Also, it is kind of curious to read a story that is supposedly based on your own life.”

“Has he not been true to the story?”

“The bigger things are accurate, but he has stylized the little things. The Herald in the book is more aggressive than I am and is very fond of witty one-liners. Cassandra is rather spot-on, Cullen ditto. The novel version of you is even more mysterious and grim, with a sort of a fortuneteller feel to him. And he has dreadlocks that cover his eyes and swirl around in the wind. I am developing a bit of a crush for him, actually. The ladies are going to love you.”

Solas glared at her.

“What was it that made you laugh?”

“Do you remember, when Chancellor Roderick was yelling at Cullen in front of the Chantry?” Ellana looked at Solas, who nodded. “Well, in real life, Cullen told him off and that was it. In the novel, however, Roderick attacked the Herald instead of the Commander and she kicked him in the balls so hard he had to crawl away. When Cullen told her that she shouldn’t have, she replied: ‘It’s not like he has any use for them.’ I would have loved to have done that! I did think about hitting him on the head with my staff, but it never occurred to me to kick him.”

“You are more politically capable than you give yourself credit,” Solas said without turning his head from his work.

“You must not include much in the term if ‘not kicking someone in the nuts’ is a sign of political prowess.”

“Kicking someone in the privates is not necessarily the sign of the lack thereof.”

Ellana stared at the back of his head.

“You kicked someone in the balls? Really? This I have to hear.”

“It was a long time ago. The story is hardly worth telling. As a young man, I was much more impulsive than I am now. A noble was mistreating his… Servant. I defended the poor woman, but the noble told me he could do whatever he wished to his own servant. To demonstrate, he grabbed her neck, so I kicked him in the privates. He doubled over and the servant escaped.”

“You are a hero. I am sure that servant would agree.”

“She would not. They caught her and killed her,” Solas stated flatly.

Ellana put the book down, got up, walked to Solas, and hugged him from behind.

“I am sorry,” she whispered into his ear.

“It was a long time ago,” Solas said, “I went about it the wrong way. I should have focused on helping the woman, not trying to better the noble.”

“Kicking someone in the balls counts as trying to better him?”

“Do not tell me that you have never met anyone, who needs to be brought down a peg?”

“Point taken,” Ellana said.

She kissed his ear and returned to claim her book.

“I suspect that there will be much more laughing further on. I will go somewhere else to give you some peace and quiet here.”

“There is no need for that, vhenan,” Solas told her.

“You are doing a marvelous work here and I can see that having me here is breaking your flow. You deserve a moment to yourself as much as everyone else. I will go bother Dorian for a while.”

Ellana ascended the steps to the library and found Dorian there, reading in his favorite chair.

“May I join you?”

“By all means, do,” Dorian said, “What are you reading?”

“Savior from The Fade.”

“Marvelous! I want to read that after you are done. I am dying to find out, what Varric has made of your heroic deeds.”

“Entertainment,” Ellana summed up.

“That was a given.”

“Now shush. I want to know, what happens next,” Ellana said and the two friends fell silent.

Well, relatively silent. Ellana kept chuckling every now and again.

“You were the one who told me to shush,” Dorian said after a particularly loud crack of laughter.

“Sorry, sorry,” Ellana said, “This is just priceless.”

“What is?”

“The Inquisition has just run into Bull and his company. As Varric tells it, they are surrounded by a hoard of evil Tevinter mages. Bull just crushed someone’s skull by gripping it into his hand and squeezing. That was right after he used his horns to impale two guys at the same time.”

“Bull is going to love that.”

“Not only is he going to love it, he’s going to try it out.”

They fell silent again. Ellana tried to stay quiet, though it was hard. Varric knew what the readers liked and expected. He had made Bull into more of a Qunari than he was. It seemed quite realistic, which was not surprising, considering Varric’s experiences with the Qunari in Kirkwall.

The story sucked Ellana in and she turned the pages in complete concentration. She wasn’t shaken out of her absorbed state before the story reached Redcliffe and the future that would hopefully never happen. Varric had not seen it himself. Ellana and Dorian had not told much about it to many people, so Varric’d had to work with very few tidbits and his imagination.

“Varric has made our step into the future a different kind of disturbing,” Ellana said.

“I am happier, when I don’t think about that at all,” Dorian stated.

“I know what you mean. Varric has created a different scenario with the elements of a demon army, assassinations, red lyrium, and lots and lots of blood magic. Even though there was more light banter than I remember, I think I need a break and a walk under the sky that doesn’t have the Breach.”

“Are you alright?” Dorian asked, looking worried.

“Yes, I am, thank you. I just need to clear my head.”

“If not, you can talk to me.”

“I know. Likewise, lethallin.”

Ellana headed towards the garden. It was so peaceful and green. She found the smell of herbs and flowers comforting. Ellana blessed every day her good sense not to allow the Inquisition to make itself a Chantry garden. The chanting would have driven her insane and she would never have felt herself welcome there. The herbs were useful and beautiful at the same time. She felt close to nature when she came into the small park. And she wasn’t the only one.

Loranil was in the garden, as well, playing with Fen’Harel. The cub – if you could still call him that – had grown bored of watching Ellana read and she had sent the wolf outside to hang out with her friend.

“Already done with your book?” Loranil asked when he spotted her.

“Not yet. Do you mind keeping him busy for a while?”

“Not at all. I love this guy,” Loranil said and petted the wolf fondly. Fen’Harel’s tongue lolled out and he was wagging his tail.

“He loves you, too. I can tell,” Ellana said.

She found a good spot in the sun and continued reading. The Inquisition got the mages and the Herald promised them freedom in a rousing speech about the rights of magic man. She didn’t remember doing that. She had mostly been scared shitless after the whole red lyrium future thing.

The mages arrived into Haven and shortly after them a… Oh. Ellana glanced at Loranil. Varric had gotten ahead of the story. That wasn’t like him at all. Why did he do that? Ellana read on. Surely the reason would present itself in no time- 

Oh. Oh, oh. Um. Er….

“Why are you blushing?”

Ellana jumped at the sound of Loranil’s voice right next to her. She tried to close the book but he was faster. He grabbed it and yanked it from her hands. Her face was burning, when she watched him read what she had read just a moment ago.

“She looked at him, her eyes burning in desire. The Herald yanked his shirt off while he worked the fastening of hers with his quick, elven fingers. When she was free of her shirt, Loranil threw it away and they devoured each other’s lips, gasping and moaning in their need to get satisfaction. The pants were the next to go, discarded in the heat of their passion that had been dormant all too long. They took a moment to appreciate the naked form of the other. Loranil sucked on her left nipple and she arched her back in enjoyment. While he was so engaged, she took hold of his bulging, hard-“

“Loranil, please!”

“Said the Herald, fondling his-“

“Loranil!”

“All right, you prude,” Loranil said, “How did you acquire porn that has us starring in it?”

“That isn’t porn,” Ellana protested, “That’s erotica.”

“The difference being…?”

“That isn’t sweaty. Porn is sweaty.”

“Sounds like it will turn sweaty in a moment. Besides, when did you become an expert in porn?”

“The Inquisitor an expert in porn? This I have to hear.”

Varric joined the two elves and the wolf.

“You wrote us having sex in your book!” Ellana poked Varric’s chest with her finger.

“You have had sex,” Varric said, “I figured it would be better to have some truth in it than come up with a random guy for you to sleep with.”

“You wrote this?” Loranil asked, “I am in book by Varric Tethras? Awesome!”

“Yes, you are, Loranil. Congratulations, you will forever be known as the random elven lover of the Herald of Andraste,” Ellana said, her tone laced with sarcasm, “What about Solas, Varric? He was there, while Loranil joined us many months later.”

“No offence, Inquisitor, but no one is going to keep reading a novel if you have to wait for the second part for booty,” Varric explained, “I’m not saying that you and Chuckles don’t make a couple the audience would love. I’m simply saying that the two of you are too prudish for the readers to find interesting.”

Ellana closed her eyes and counted.

“Don’t worry, he won’t mind,” Varric said.

“It’s not that,” Ellana said.

“What are you worried about?” Varric asked, “I know you don’t mind the public opinion. Some may be offended, yes, but even more will be impressed and intrigued. You know that everyone wants you. Representing you as a sexual person will fuel that. You will be even more famous than before. And if people give you crap about it, you will have all the more reason to beat them up over it.”

“Even more famous?” Loranil asked in disbelief, “How large a print did you make?”

“My publisher was optimistic. They made a very large print, and it’s almost gone already. There is talk of an even bigger one. The Tevinters want to know about the Herald, too.”

“Sera is going to give me so much crap about this. Dorian and Bull, too,” Ellana moaned.

“What else is new?” Varric said.

“Wow,” Loranil said, “I had no idea I would be known as the lover of the hero who saves the world. My mother will be so proud.”

“Your mother is going to kill me,” Ellana said, “She always thought I was a bad influence on her golden child.”

“She’s not going to kill you. She’s too scared of you to try,” Loranil comforted her.

“See?” Varric said, “No harm done.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Ellana said, “You must make sure that this will not reach Cullen’s hands. If he reads this, his head will explode.”

“Or some other part of him,” Loranil said, “That was some hot stuff, Varric.”

“I thank you, sir,” Varric said and bowed, “It’s always nice to please my readers. And you did, after all, provide the inspiration.”

“I will go now and leave you two to your mutual fan club,” Ellana said, “I will try to figure out a way to keep this away from Dorian and Sera.”

“I already gave each of them a copy about an hour ago.”

“Of course you did. Solas?”

“Naturally.”

“Great,” Ellana said, “That being the case, I will go drill myself a hole in the ground and not leave until everyone is so worried about me that once they see me, they will not think of what the Herald told Loranil to do to her.”

“I did not reach that part yet,” Loranil said, “It’s that good? Give me the book.”

Ellana chose to vanish from sight, the novel pressed tightly against her chest. Thanks a lot, Varric!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long (though I doubt anyone cares). It is truly sad how work keeps taking the time you would love to spend on fanfiction, isn't it?
> 
> That Chantry garden... I tried it once and it really bugged me. I felt like I was hearing things every time the Inquisitor was anywhere near the place. All hail the useful herbs and the lack of constant chanting!
> 
> Again, a heartfelt thank you for reading, kudos, and bookmarks :)


	27. The Inquisitor

”You didn’t kill Loranil and put his skull on your desk, did you?”

“Excuse me?” Solas asked and turned his attention from the painting to Dorian.

“This skull on your desk?” Dorian said, pointing at the offending object, “It’s not Loranil’s, is it? The Inquisitor will be mightily pissed off if you killed her friend.”

“Of course not. Why would I kill Loranil? And if I did do such a thing, why in the world would I keep his skull on my desk?”

“Why in the world would you keep a skull on your desk in the first place?” Dorian asked in return.

“If you look at that object more closely, you will discover it to be one of the shards we have collected on our travels,” Solas stated and resumed painting.

“Ah, so it is. I can hear that absolutely disturbing humming noise it makes,” Dorian said, “So Loranil is still alive?”

“To my knowledge, yes,” Solas said, “What made you think I killed him? Is he missing? What would implicate me?”

“Oh, you haven’t read Varric’s book yet, have you?”

“I have not had the time,” Solas said, “The Inquisitor did tell me something about it a couple of days ago. She found it entertaining.”

“A couple of days ago? Have you seen her since?”

“I have not,” Solas said. 

Solas had been wondering, why Ellana had not stopped by. She usually came to see him at least a couple of times a day. This silence was unlike her. Not seeing her for a little while had made him realize, how much he appreciated her company. Even being silent with her was enjoyable.

“That’s not good,” Dorian said, “I hope she hasn’t killed Varric.”

“I am positive that she has not,” Solas said and turned to look at the mage, “Dorian, would you be so kind as to tell me, why you think that there must have been a murder or two? What was so horrific in Varric’s book as to warrant these suspicions?”

Dorian looked a little uncomfortable.

“It would be better if you read it yourself,” he said, “I am afraid my powers of description will be inadequate.”

Solas considered him. He did look very uncomfortable. Solas sighed. He put his colors away, wiped his hands, and walked to the desk.

“Show me, please.”

Dorian opened the novel, leafed through it for a while to find the right page, and handed it to him. Solas took it and settled into his chair to read. Dorian left him quietly.

\--

“Sera, have you seen Varric?” Solas asked.

The rogue looked at him suspiciously.

“You’re not gonna kill him, right? For writing all that hot stuff between your girlfriend and her ex? It isn’t his fault it took you so long to get her.”

“No, I am not going to kill him. I am trying to locate the Inquisitor and I understand that Varric may have been the last one to see her. I am hoping that he will have some idea of her whereabouts. She has not been seen for a couple of days and I am a little concerned,” Solas said patiently.

“She went and disappeared, huh? She must be really embarrassed,” Sera said with a shrewd expression, “I’m gonna have so much fun when she returns!”

“What would it take to make you go easy on her?”

“She can take it,” Sera said but, after seeing his expression, added, “If not, I’ll lay off her, I swear. She’s all right in my book, I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Thank you, Sera,” Solas said and smiled at her.

\--

Solas found Varric from the stables, where he was having a chat with the man known as Blackwall. The self-proclaimed Grey Warden did not look pleased with the dwarf. Solas was sure he knew the reason. The warrior’s affection for the Inquisitor had not gone unnoticed by him. Solas stopped behind the wall to listen to them.

“Why the fuck would you write that obscenity? Everyone will read it and think she’s… Not a lady,” Blackwall boomed.

“Well, she isn’t a lady,” the dwarf said and, after seeing Blackwall’s dark look, added hastily, “Though, I get it, that was not your point. A good adventure needs a romance. It will keep the readers interested.”

“Did it have to be so graphic? You couldn’t have just written that they had sex, period?” Blackwall asked.

“That’s just boring. The readers expect to see some skin, so to speak,” Varric said. 

Solas knew that the dwarf was probably right. Varric had a talent for pleasing his readers and answering their expectations. He also knew how to give them just the appropriate amount of surprise. And how to write a scene that would make them blush and look for privacy.

“Did you even check with her before you published it?” Blackwall inquired.

“I thought she wouldn’t mind,” Varric said.

“Where is she, then?” Blackwall asked, “Why hasn’t anyone seen her in days?”

“I imagine she needed some time to wait for the excitement to blow over,” Varric said, “I saw her leave Skyhold with her wolf. They will be alright. Besides, don’t you think she’s owed a break? She has been working her ass off for the whole time I’ve known her. She goes on every mission but she makes sure that the rest of us have regular breaks. She has to make all those big decisions, help us with our stuff, and listen to our worries. Everyone she meets either loves her or hates her for being something she didn’t ask to become. How she stays sane, I’ll never know.”

“She needs a break,” Blackwall nodded, “But that doesn’t mean that you were right to write that stuff about her and that guy.”

“In my way, I’m trying to make people see and appreciate all she is and does,” Varric said, “If it was anyone else, the world might belong to Corypheus by now.”

Solas left silently. He had heard enough and didn’t feel it necessary to enter into conversation with the men. If Ellana had left the fortress, he should be able to track her. He got some supplies and walked out of the gates. When he was certain he would not be seen, he changed into a wolf and sniffed around until he caught her scent. He followed it.

Solas found Ellana without trouble. When he was near her, he changed back into his own form and walked towards her. After crossing a small hill, he saw her. She was… Juggling fireballs.

“Another hobby of yours?”

Ellana was so surprised that she jumped up, which blew her rhythm. All the balls flew away from her hands. If they hadn’t fallen on snow, she would have had to put out fires. Fen’Harel gave a happy sound and ran to greet Solas.

“How did you find us?” Ellana asked.

“Why did you run away?” Solas countered.

“Didn’t you read the…?”

“Yes, I did,” Solas said, “Dorian helpfully told me, what I had been missing, and showed me the proper passage to acquaint myself with.”

“Of course he did,” she said, her head bowed, “Well?”

“One of these days, we will have to beat Varric’s imagination.”

Ellana’s head snapped up so quickly that Solas had to laugh.

“You’re not mad?” Ellana asked, sounding incredulous.

“Why would I be mad, vhenan?”

Solas went to her and took her into his arms. She melted against his body. He closed his eyes and smelled her hair. They stayed like that for some time.

“I missed you, vhenan,” Solas said quietly into her hair, “The next time you escape, you will have to take me with you.”

“Deal. I bet you would have kept me warm better than Fen’Harel.”

She turned her eyes towards his and put her hand behind his neck to pull him into a passionate kiss. It warmed the both of them up.

“Tell me about your new hobby,” Solas said.

“I came up with it recently. I have been able to juggle for ages, but the fireballs are a new modification. You know that with my knight enchanter training I can sustain a barrier as long as my firespells do damage. I figured out that it would also count if I do that damage to my own barrier. That means that I can juggle fireballs without harming myself. Which is awesome,” Ellana said and grinned. 

Ellana demonstrated her new hobby to Solas. She seemed exhilarated. Solas enjoyed her excitement and expression of carefreeness. When you saw her, you would never guess this to be the famed Inquisitor, the one in command of the army that would save the world. You would also never have guessed that her friend had just written a book about her and described to the readers, what she looked like naked.

While Ellana was lost to the outside world, Solas looked about him. It seemed that Ellana had built herself a hut of snow. She had some furs and a place for a campfire. She clearly knew how to survive in a climate with low temperatures. She was good with fire and knew how to keep herself warm. Solas could not say the same about himself. He could survive in snow, of course, but he would always feel the cold and not be comfortable in the same way Ellana appeared to be. Even now the cold was creeping on him. He shuddered.

“Solas, are you cold?”

Solas looked at Ellana, who had ceased juggling and was walking towards him. Solas gave her a small smile.

“You are, aren’t you? Your lips are turning into an attractive, though dangerous shade of blue,” she said.

Ellana got up on her toes to rub her lips on his to warm them up. Solas pulled her close to warm them both a little more.

“I am sorry you are cold,” Ellana said, “You needn’t have come, I am all right. I would have returned tomorrow, anyway. I know that I am needed.”

“I didn’t just come to see you are all right,” Solas said.

“You didn’t?”

“No,” Solas stated and looked deep into her eyes, “I came to bring my woman home, where I can show my appreciation to her.”

He felt Ellana shiver in his arms. It had nothing to do with the cold.

“So, I am your woman now?”

“Yes, vhenan, you are.”

“I am all right with that,” she said and grinned.

Solas kissed her hungrily until she moaned.

“That’s what I am gathering,” he said, “Let’s go back to Skyhold.”

They took the things Ellana had brought with her, and headed back. Some of the time they talked, other times they simply walked in comfortable silence, enjoying being near each other. Fen’Harel ran around them, never leaving for too long.

“Are you angry with Varric?” Solas asked when they were nearing Skyhold.

“I am not happy with him,” Ellana admitted, “He could have at least given me some sort of warning. ‘I’m writing a book about you and, by the way, it will feature you having inventive, graphic sex with your friend,” would have been nice. I would love to mess with him just a little.”

“Do you already have an idea how to go about it?”

“I may have. Would you be willing to help?”

“Anything for you, vhenan.”

\--

Varric was having a bad day. He had known there would be some fallback from writing the book, but he never would have guessed the amount of discussions he would be having about the sex part. Almost every one of the Inquisitor’s friends had come by during the past two days to talk about it. Even Cole, which had been very weird. The kid hardly knew what it was about, but he had picked up on the atmosphere and the thoughts of several people and wanted to help.

Varric shook his head. He was not looking forward to having a chat with Solas. Chuckles was so unpredictable he had no idea, what the mage would do or say. He was very protective of the Inquisitor in an unapparent way. He would do something. It couldn’t be worse than being punched by Cassandra, could it?

“Varric! Varric, there you are!”

Loranil practically ran into him, waving a letter frantically. He looked shaken and near panicked.

“Easy, there, elf, where’s the fire?”

“Have you seen this?” Loranil asked and thrust the letter into his hand.

Varric took it and read it fast. He felt his face fall as he got further. The letter was addressed to the Inquisitor from the Orlesian Guild of Escorts. Fancy ones. They were fascinated by the book about her and were asking her permission to name the sexual position described there “The Inquisitor”. There was even a very good drawing of two elves doing ‘The Inquisitor’. It made Varric wince.

“She hasn’t seen this, has she?” Varric asked.

“Of course she has, why do you think I am so shook up?” Loranil practically yelled, “She was really mad and got drunk and somehow convinced Solas to try ‘The Inquisitor’ with her. It didn’t work out so well. They are both in the infirmary now. I think he broke something and she is having trouble breathing. You better come quick.”

Loranil ran away and Varric followed him. How could this have happened? The Inquisitor was usually so sensible… Except for when she was mad or drunk. Today she had been both, thanks to him and his book. He never thought people would try at home the positions the authors described. How could he have known that it wouldn’t work if two elves did it? He was a dwarf! He had no frame of reference on elven sex.

Varric was in such a rush that he fell down, but got up again and kept running. He would never forgive himself if he was responsible for hurting the Inquisitor. Solas was going to kill him, regardless of any minor break he may have gotten from their sexual experiment.

Varric reached the infirmary. They were not on the yard, but a terrible cry came from one of the tents. Varric felt his palms sweating. He stepped in front of the tent, took a deep breath, and stepped inside.

“Surprise,” three voices yelled.

Varric fell on his butt. He looked around the tent. The Inquisitor, Solas, and Loranil were all looking at him. All of them seemed fine. All of them had shit-eating grins.

“That was low,” he said as he got up and dusted his clothes, “I was really worried for the two of you.”

“You deserved it,” the Inquisitor said, “Admit it.”

“I should have known. That was just the kind of perverse stuff you would come up with,” Varric said, looking between the Inquisitor and Loranil, “I didn’t know that you can draw.”

“I can’t,” she said, “Solas can.”

“Poor Chuckles, you are such a bad influence on him.”

“That’s what my mother said of her,” Loranil said.

“I like it,” Solas said and gave the Inquisitor a kiss.

“Have you learned your lesson, Varric?”

“What would that be, Inquisitor?”

“If you write porn, ask for permission,” she said, “And fact-check before publishing.”


	28. Getting Lost in The Oasis

”Tell me again, why we got this creature?” Varric asked.

“It was an impulse purchase, all right?” Ellana said defensively, “They had found one and told that it could be used as a mount. I thought it sounded awesome, sort of like a small dragon.”

“That is nothing like a dragon,” Bull said.

“Why does it grin at me all the time?” Sera asked.

“It isn’t grinning at you,” Cassandra said.

They were all gathered at the stables to look at the lonely dracolisk that had come to live with them. It had been a battle to acquire it and Ellana had begun to realize that it had been one that could have been forgone. The creature was hideous. It was like a big lizard. Or a horse that had been starved to death and turned inside out.

“Does it spit venom?” Sera asked, “It looks like it should.”

“It does not,” Solas said.

“It would be helpful if it did,” Ellana said, “No one would come near it.”

“No one is going near that thing as it is,” Varric said, “Or if they do, they want to kill it.”

“Someone is going to have to go near it,” Ellana said decisively, “It is meant to be a mount. Any takers?”

As one man, everyone took a step back.

“Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad,” Ellana said, “Bull? How about it?”

“No way, Boss. That thing weighs barely more than I do. If I sat on it, its back would snap. Unless you wish to kill it. In that case, I’d be happy to help.”

“Didn’t it take an army to bring it here?” Sera asked suspiciously.

“An army may be an exaggeration,” Ellana said, “Do you want to try?”

“Not even a little. If you want someone to ride your crazy lizard, you do it.”

“Varric? Blackwall?” Ellana tried.

Blackwall shook his head.

“Not even if you paid me,” Varric said.

“Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“I don’t count ‘breaking my spine’ as an adventure,” Varric said.

“Cole?”

“Will it help you if I ride it? I’ll try not to break my spine,” the spirit said.

“Never mind,” Ellana sighed, “I’ll ride it myself.”

Ellana saddled the creature as the others prepared their mounts. It did not look happy – if you didn’t count the constant grin. Otherwise, it looked mistreated and unsatisfied. Ellana felt strange not being able to groom her mount before going for a ride. Usually, that was a time that helped her bond with her steed. Without it, she truly felt that she would be riding a big lizard. A butt-ugly one, at that. Why had she acquired this?

Ellana petted the thing and walked it to the yard. She said a little prayer and mounted the creature. It did nothing but grin. So far, so good. She made it walk a little around the yard and it obeyed without issue. Maybe everything would be all right. The others walked their mounts after her and got ready to leave. Ellana looked at them thoughtfully, while planning their journey.

There was a flash and the dracolisk jumped sideways. Since Ellana had been preoccupied, she had not been paying attention and was thrown off the creature. She hit the ground and her mount ran further away.

“Son of a bitch!” Ellana swore as she sat on the ground, rubbing her hand.

“Are you all right?”

Solas had jumped off his hart and was already beside her.

“Yes, thank you, Solas, I am fine,” Ellana said and got up with his help, “I was reminded, why you shouldn’t daydream while riding.”

“Did anyone see what caused the beast to jump?” Cassandra asked.

“There was a flash,” Ellana said, “I think it was light reflecting on something.”

“Blackwall’s armor,” Cole said, “He polishes it bright. Heroes are bright.”

Blackwall may have blushed some.

“All right, then,” Ellana said and remounted the dracolisk, ”It is understandable. If I looked like this, I would be scared of my reflection, too. Blackwall, please stay in the back and do try to get dirty like the rest of us.”

“That is not easily achieved, Boss,” Bull said, “It takes some work and natural talent to become as dirty as I am.”

“I don’t understand,” Cole said.

“You just proved my point,” Bull stated.

“I suggest we continue this fascinating conversation on the road,” Ellana said.

\--

“This is the Forbidden Oasis.”

“Forbidden by who?” Sera asked.

“Whom,” Vivienne corrected her.

“Oh, one of those nobles. Should have known. They are the only ones who bother to forbid anything,” Sera said, “Let’s go loot the place.”

Ellana looked at the area pensively. It did not look good. It looked like a multidimensional maze. It would be nigh impossible to get where you wanted to go.

“I can see this is a special kind of area,” Ellana said, “We need to find some specific places, but it will not be easy. We will need to research the Oasis by simply wandering and getting lost. We will get lost, I am certain of it. We will have to walk the same paths repeatedly. I want a team that will be all right with this approach and will not get frustrated by wandering around. If you cannot think of this as a leisurely walk on the beach, you should not come with me.”

“I will come with you, Inquisitor,” Solas said.

“I won’t get bored,” Cole promised.

“Bianca and I could come,” Varric said.

“Thank you, Varric, but we need a warrior to come with us. Harding did say that there were giants.”

“I can handle a walk on the beach,” Blackwall said, though he did not sound very enthusiastic.

“Thank you, gentlemen,” Ellana said, “The four of us and Fen’Harel will go get lost. The rest of you can spend the day as you please.”

“Where do you wish to start, Inquisitor?” Solas asked.

“There’s another Ocularum. Since we are here to find more about those shards, we might as well find some while we’re at it.” 

Ellana walked to the skull and peered in. It took her a considerable amount of time, but she found five shards, all over the place.

“How in the world did they hide those?” Ellana huffed as they headed downwards, “I bet they had six guys, one at the Ocularum and five holding the shards. The others would yell, ‘Can you still see me?’ And the one at the Ocularum would answer, ‘Yes, but that’s too easy. You are too close to the other one. Why don’t you climb on that roof? Or cross that gorge and break the bridge after you? Or go to the highest damn point in the whole fucking area, just for the hell of it? If someone wants to get these sodding shards, let’s make them work for it, aye fellows?’”

“That’s what it looks like,” Blackwall grunted.

“Why do we collect them?” Cole asked, “They don’t sound happy to be found.”

“We are working on the premise that if someone went through all this trouble to hide them, they must be the key to something of great value,” Ellana said, “Or, if this someone was anything akin to Sera, they had a hell of a laugh at the thought of making us run.”

“This does feel like an elaborate prank,” Blackwall said, “I’m afraid that whatever we find will be the ancient equivalent of a snake in a can.”

“I don’t like snakes,” Cole said.

“No one does,” Ellana said. 

“Other snakes do,” Cole insisted, “And Bull. I heard him say it to Dorian.”

Ellana coughed. Blackwall was trying hard not to laugh and Solas stared ahead with a neutral expression, though Ellana couldn’t see his eyes.

“He was talking of something else,” she said.

They wandered around aimlessly, as Ellana had suspected. They found a nice place for a camp and a beautiful intrinsic pool. It was very much like being on the beach – after they killed the giant, that is. The sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, and it was, all in all, a nice day to have a leisurely walk around the area. It would have been perfect if it wasn’t for the rifts, the Venatori, and the animals that attacked them every now and again.

Ellana smiled. Cole and Blackwall were in the lead, so she felt comfortable enough to take Solas’ hand. He didn’t seem to mind. It had been a good choice to get lost instead of breaking a sweat trying to find something. The Oasis simply was not a place for maps. Or plans, for that matter. It was a good place to enjoy the company of your friends and your wolf, to sunbathe, and to find treasures. Even if the treasures made a disconcerting noise and had skulls in them.

Solas and Cole had some peculiar conversations during the day. They talked of people and spirits that had at some point resided or died in the Oasis.

“Sometimes you two make no sense,” Blackwall said.

“That is a matter of perspective,” Solas replied.

Ellana was happy that Solas and Cole got along so well. Neither of them had that many friends and it felt good to see them bond. It was natural, really. Solas liked spirits and the Fade and Cole was a spirit. They understood each other on a profound level.

“He was so sad,” Cole said, “Why didn’t they help him?”

“They did help him,” Solas said, “He wanted a family. They gave him one.”

“He didn’t want just a family, he wanted his own. I would have done it better.”

“Sometimes it’s wisest not to give someone, what they want, but what they need.”

“Do I need to be worried that you two are going to run away together one of these days?” Ellana joked.

“I like it here. Why would I run away?” Cole asked.

“I agree,” Solas said and squeezed Ellana’s hand, “I like it here, too.”

Ellana rolled her eyes.

“I should have taken Varric so that someone would have gotten my jokes,” she said, “So, they didn’t give this boy his family back? Did he become happy in time?”

“Yes, but he never forgot,” Cole said.

“Why would he forget?” Blackwall asked.

“He would have been happier if he’d forgotten,” the spirit replied.

“That isn’t how memory works, lethallin,” Ellana said, “Or people, for that matter. You don’t need to forget past hurts to become happy. You just need to move past them. Time helps something new grow out of the old hurt.”

“I will think about it,” Cole said.

“To put it another way: shit happens, but roses grow out of a dungheap,” Ellana summarized.

“Well said,” Blackwall nodded.

They had spent hours walking around the Oasis. They had closed two rifts and killed a whole lot of spiders that had been squatting in a cave. They had just kept coming. Ellana had made two consecutive firewalls, which had turned the entire cave into an inferno of fire and spiders. She could have thought of better ways to spend that time. It had reminded her of their time in the Fade with the Fear demon and its little spider buddies. It had been unpleasant but, oh, that voice…

“We’ve been here before,” Blackwall said, “I remember that corpse.”

“You might be right,” Ellana admitted, “But it doesn’t matter. We still have things to find. There must be some areas we have not discovered yet.”

“Is it normal to keep track of your steps by corpses?” Blackwall thought aloud.

“I think it is,” Ellana said, “Though, during the past year, I have completely lost my point of reference regarding normalcy. For me, normal used to be living in the woods, gathering food, and studying magic. Now, normal is living in a fortress, gathering money, and killing everything in sight.”

“And saving the world in the process,” Blackwall added, “You make it look easy.”

“I’m hardly saving the world,” Ellana contested.

“You’re more than anyone.”

“Why don’t we see what’s down there?” Ellana said and walked ahead. She called Fen’Harel to follow.

They finally found the temple. It was guarded by a handful of Venatori. The fight was over quickly, but left Blackwall tired. His armor was heavy and it was warm in the Oasis. Knowing how uncomfortable he must feel, Ellana told that he and Cole could stay outside with Fen’Harel and rest for a while as she and Solas searched the temple.

A bit of study revealed that the shards were keys to the doors of the temple of Solasan. It took as many as six shards to open one door, so they could only open a couple of the ones inside. The first door opened into a corridor that led into a room with a coffin and several animated corpses. The undead were defeated quickly. Solas looted the room while Ellana opened the coffin. Something made a pinging noise.

“What was that? I feel strange.”

Solas got up and walked to her.

“You were given a gift, I think. Or a reward for finding those shards.”

“Why just me? You were here, too.”

“It may have to do with the mark.”

“Of course it does,” Ellana huffed, “Everything does. I feel bad for you having to go unrewarded. You were on that wild-goose chase as much as I was.”

Solas had a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Maybe you will have to reward me, then, to even things out.”

“Oh?” Ellana said and pulled him closer, “What sort of reward did you have in mind?”

Solas kissed her. Thoroughly. She didn’t know if it was the day spent in close proximity or the temple or just her sheer presence, but he was very enthusiastic and demanding. She loved it.

“Come on, vhenan,” Solas said after they had disentangled themselves from each other, “We have another door to open.”

The second door was much the same. There were some animated corpses and the coffin that made a pinging sound. And there was kissing, also known as ‘the reward’.

Since they didn’t have enough shards to open the third door, they left it for later. There was a device for strengthening the veil. Ellana activated it before they left.

“That will help strengthen the veil,” Solas said, “I never had the chance to properly thank you for activating those. They are important and I am grateful.”

“How grateful?”

Solas pushed her against the wall and kissed her hungrily. Ellana opened her mouth to allow his tongue access. Their breaths grew rapid and their hands wandered. Ellana grabbed hold of Solas’ amazing ass, which she had dreamed of doing for as long as she had known him. Solas grazed her breasts through her shirt, which made her shudder. 

“Vhenan…”

He trailed kisses on her neck. She enjoyed the sensation of his lips and teeth on her skin. He may even have left a mark in his eagerness, but she didn’t care. She ran her hands on his body and moaned his name to encourage him. They resumed kissing. He ground his hips against hers and she could feel his hardness through their clothes. He slid his hands under her butt and heaved her up. He moved against her again, his erection hitting just the right spot in the new position. Both of them moaned out their pleasure.

“Did you get lost?”

They froze at the sound of Cole’s voice. Solas put Ellana gently down and moved to stand behind her for obvious reasons.

“You took so long that we thought you may have gotten lost again,” Cole said.

“In a way, we did,” Ellana said in a rough voice, “Cole, you go ahead, we will be right behind you.”

The spirit nodded and vanished. Ellana turned to Solas. She would have loved to touch him again but, considering his state, that would not have been kind.

“That was amazing,” she said.

Solas gave her a lewd grin. She had never seen such an expression on his face. She loved it.

“Not that I wouldn’t love to continue, what we started, but we probably should go meet the others before they all come here looking for us. I would prefer not to include them in this.”

“I agree.”

“We will continue getting lost later, in a better place.”

“Any place is a good place to get lost with you, vhenan.”

“I will remember that.”


	29. Talk Is Cheap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has... Er... Dirty talk. And some nudity. Not porn, though. Definitely not porn. "Porn is sweaty." But if you are not comfortable with that, feel free to skip this chapter.

Ellana, Solas, Cole, Blackwall, and Fen’Harel returned to the Inquisition camp. Sera and Varric were sitting in front of the tents, playing cards.

“It took you long enough,” Sera called out to them, “Did you get lost?”

“All the time,” Ellana said with a broad smile, “You wouldn’t believe the places we got lost in.”

“Yet, you don’t seem too bothered about it,” Varric said, “Why is that?”

“She and Solas got lost against a cave wall, even though the steps were right there. It was strange,” Cole said.

Ellana blushed and Solas cleared his throat. Ellana had not thought that the spirit would just come out and say it. She would need to have a word with him one of these days. She would never have guessed that being the Inquisitor would require her to have the ‘where do babies come from’ talk with an incarnated spirit. To quote Varric, everything that happened to her was strange.

“You were making out in a creepy cave?” Sera asked, “What’s the matter with you?”

“Are you looking for an itemized list, or…?”

“Never mind,” Sera grumbled and returned to her cards.

“My dear, do you have a moment?”

“Of course, Vivienne,” Ellana replied, “What can I do for you?”

“I require the heart of a snowy wyvern for an alchemical formula of great importance. My plans to acquire one fell through, when the Chevalier whose services I had enlisted was killed in the civil war,” Vivienne explained, “Would you be a dear and get me one?”

Ellana thought about it. Wyverns were annoying to kill but it was feasible. She was not particularly fond of Vivienne but the Court Enchanter had been with the Inquisition and helped them in many ways. She was owed a favor and this appeared to be important to her.

“Do you know, where one could find one of these snowy wyverns?”

“Yes, I do. I can mark the place on our map if that pleases you.”

“All right, then. We don’t have anything particular lined up after this, so we can go get that heart,” Ellana promised.

“Thank you, my dear.”

“The ice queen is finally going to get a heart?” Sera said, “That’s nice.”

“Sera…” Ellana said in a cautionary tone.

Ellana looked at the spot Vivienne had marked. The wyvern was living with the gurguts. Lovely.

“Bull, do you want to come kill big lizards with me?”

“I want to come with you, yes,” Bull said, “Killing big lizards will be a nice bonus.”

“You have an amazing ability to make everything sound dirty.”

“Thanks, Boss.”

“Is there anyone else, who wants to kill big lizards? Varric?”

“Sure, why not,” the dwarf said.

“Then it is settled. We will spend the night here. In the morning, we will go kill those big lizards and the rest of you can head back to Skyhold. We will meet you there. Have a good night, my friends.”

They wished each other good night and scattered into their tents. Ellana held her hand out to Solas and he took it. They walked a little away from the camp to wish the other good night with gentle kisses and caresses.

“I guess I won’t be seeing you for a few days,” Ellana whispered to Solas, “I will miss you.”

“I will miss you, too. When will you come back?”

“It shouldn’t take too long to kill the wyvern but I have no idea, what Vivienne has planned to do with the heart and if she needs my help enforcing that plan.”

“It’s good of you to help her.”

“You think so? Because I have my doubts concerning anything that requires the heart of a living creature.” 

“Then why did you agree?”

“She asked for my help.”

“I think Sera is right about you,” Solas said, “You are a goody-goody.”

“I am not. And I will prove it to you.”

“How do you- -“ Solas began.

Ellana interrupted him by pulling him into a fierce kiss. It was a kiss that told him she was not a complete goody-goody. Good girls don’t kiss like this, Ellana thought. She kissed him until she felt something stirring in his pants. Then she stopped and pulled away. She knew it was mean, but she had had it with everyone calling her a goody-goody. At least Solas would know better after this.

“Good night, blue balls,” Ellana said and winked, “I will see you later.”

Ellana walked away from a confused and obviously aroused Solas. She was sure he would think twice before calling her a good girl again.

“Vhenan.”

Ellana stopped and turned to look over her shoulder.

“A wise man once said, ‘payback is a bitch’.”

Ellana laughed out loud and shook her head.

“I’m looking forward to it, kind sir,” she told him and left. She couldn’t wait to see, what he would come up with. She hoped that Vivienne’s thing wouldn’t take too long.

\--

A fortnight later, Ellana was finally on her way back to Skyhold. She was exhausted and her head was swimming with everything that had happened during the past two weeks. Vivienne had indeed needed her help after they had killed the wyvern, so she had aided the Court Enchanter to gather the other obscure and rare ingredients to her alchemical formula. After that, they had gone to the palace of her lover to make the formula. It had been precise work and required them to stay up to prepare the formula in just the right way. It had been extremely frustrating but Ellana had kept her mouth shut because she saw, how much the mysterious concoction had meant to Vivienne.

The function of the formula had not been known to Ellana until Vivienne had taken her to the bedside of her dying lover, Bastien. As the keeper’s apprentice, Ellana was familiar with death. She recognized a dying person, when she saw one. Vivienne, for her part, had not been ready to give up. She had given Bastien the formula but it had been of no use. He passed away in ripe old age with his lover holding his hand. Ellana thought that it had been a good way to go.

“There’s nothing here now,” Vivienne had said after his death without shedding a tear.

Vivienne had not cried once. Maybe that was not her way. Maybe it would not do for a lady to cry, Ellana didn’t know. She was no lady. If she were Vivienne, she would cry.

Vivienne had told Ellana of her history with Bastien. They had known each other for years. It had been something akin to love at first sight. She had been his lover for a long time. Even though some of it was clearly political and a matter of power, Ellana saw that Vivienne had truly cared for the man. She felt sorry for the mage. She had no idea, what it was like to lose the person you had loved for so long. She had never had a person like that, let alone lost one. Although Vivienne looked the same, there was a sorrow in her eyes that had not been there before. Ellana wanted to hug her but knew that she would not approve. You didn’t hug Vivienne.

It was already late, when they arrived in Skyhold. Ellana left her dracolisk to the hands of the stable boy and called Fen’Harel to follow her. She fed the wolf and had a light snack. She knew that she should have made the rounds but she simply was not up for it. She could hardly put a few words together. She needed to sleep before she would be able to deal with people. Except for Solas. She wanted to say hi to him before falling dead into her warm, soft bed.

Ellana found Solas, unsurprisingly, studying at his desk. As he heard her approach, he looked up.

“I see you have taken up sleepwalking,” he said.

“I see you have spent time with Varric and Sera. Their sense of humor is rubbing off on you.”

“Are you implying I don’t have one of my own?”

“Probably not,” Ellana said, “I’m so tired I can’t think straight. I just wanted to say a quick goodnight and then go to bed.”

She walked to him and bent over the table to give him a small kiss.

“Goodnight,” she said and flashed him a tired smile.

“Goodnight, vhenan. I will see you tomorrow.”

\--

The next day, Solas was at his desk, when Ellana came to see him. They exchanged a quick kiss and a few words before she went her way. Solas knew that she would walk the grounds and talk with everyone. When she had left him in a compromising state at the Oasis, he had implied that revenge would be forthcoming. He’d had an idea about how to do it and he had been waiting for her return. The time had come to put the plan in motion. Solas chuckled to himself, took a book under his arm, and went to look for Ellana.

Solas observed Ellana’s movements on the grounds. For his plan to work, he needed to find her at the right moment and in the right company. When he saw her walk towards Cullen’s office, he grinned and followed.

\--

Ellana and Cullen stood at the ramparts and talked of the progress of the Inquisition troops. They kept growing, which was good news. The training was going well and the soldiers were motivated to beat Corypheus.

“And how are things with you and Cassandra?” Ellana asked.

Cullen blushed, as Ellana had expected.

“It’s uh… I think it’s going well,” Cullen stammered, “We meet up often to talk, eat, and drink together. We know about each other’s families and interests. She, uh… She doesn’t mind, when I kiss her.”

“That’s great, Cullen, it really is,” Ellana said and beamed at him proudly, “I’m happy for you two.”

“I, uh… Wanted to thank you for your advice, Inquisitor,” Cullen said, “If you hadn’t talked me into it, I would never have had the courage to make what may be the best decision of my life.”

“It sounds like you are serious about her,” Ellana said.

“She is an amazing woman,” Cullen said.

“That she certainly is.”

They were silent for a little while and stared at the scenery.

“Inquisitor.”

Ellana looked towards Solas, who was approaching them. He was holding a book.

“I will not keep you long from your duties; I just have a quick question. The handwriting on this volume is very poor and I was hoping you could make it out better than I have been able to.”

Solas shoved the book at her, so she took a look. It was handwritten in Elven and the hand was poor indeed.

“I don’t remember seeing such a poor hand before. What passage are you having trouble with?”

Solas put his finger on a passage.

“To me, it looks like it goes thus,” Solas said and continued in Elven, “I want to rip your clothes off, bend you against the wall, and take you roughly from behind.”

Ellana froze in place. She was absolutely positive that a book about healing herbs had no such lines. She tried to keep her expression neutral in front of Cullen. She looked at Solas and wondered, what he was doing. Well, two could play that game.

“I think you might be mistaken, Solas. To me, it looks like it says,” she said and continued in Elven, ”After you do that, I will ride you like a bucking bronco until you bend to my will. I will make you beg me to suck your hard cock.”

Solas was as good at maintaining a neutral expression as she was. Poor innocent Cullen, he had no idea, what was going on in front of him.

“Hmm,” Solas said, “You may be right. I will continue my studies and get back to you.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Ellana said and turned to Cullen, “Where were we?”

“Are you all right, Inquisitor?” Cullen asked, “You look a little flushed.”

“I am perfectly fine, thanks for asking. There was a particularly warm gush of wind just now.”

“Elven is a beautiful language,” Cullen said, “I have no idea, what you were saying, but I liked it. Maybe you could teach me some of those phrases so that I could say them to Cassandra?”

Ellana kept her face straight.

“I doubt she would find any of those phrases pleasing. But I can teach you some simpler ones, if you want.”

Ellana taught Cullen a couple of simple phrases and left him. She was puzzled at Solas’ behavior but decided to ponder it later. She considered it unlikely that he would do it again.

But he did. When Ellana was talking with Cassandra, he told her that he wanted to fuck her against Cassandra’s training dummy. When Ellana was having a discussion with Varric, Solas came to inform her that he wanted to pound her in front of the fire until she was raw. When Ellana was speaking to Blackwall, Solas stated that he wished to plough her until she couldn’t walk. Ellana always answered in kind and acted as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Some of her friends seemed suspicious but no one could be certain. Solas had been careful to make sure that neither Dalish nor Loranil was close enough to overhear.

As a result of Solas’ “difficulties with the poor handwriting”, Ellana had spent the entire day in a strange haze of escalating arousal. That had probably been his goal. It was, when she was having a chat with Dorian and Solas said that he wanted to make her come screaming his name loud enough for Andraste to hear, that she finally realized, what it was all about. That sneaky bastard! He was getting back at her for leaving him with blue balls in the Oasis.

“You want to tell me, what that was really about?” Dorian asked when Solas had left.

“He is having fun on my account,” Ellana said.

“Why am I not surprised?”

“You don’t speak Elven, do you?” Ellana asked and raised an eyebrow.

“No. Did I miss something good?”

“Oh, the usual.”

“Right, because ‘the usual’ makes your pupils as wide as saucers. You are so turned on!”

“Do you really think Solas needs to do anything out of the ordinary to make that happen? He simply needs to look at me and I’m ready.”

Dorian groaned.

“My fault for asking,” he said, “Feel free to keep the rest to yourself. Now go away and do whatever it is that you are thinking of doing. I need a drink.”

Ellana laughed at his receding back. She had freaked him out, poor man. He might be right about doing, what she was thinking, though. It was time. She had been ready to shag Solas from the moment she met him and, going by everything he had recently done, he appeared to have finally reached the same point. She was determined to seduce him that night, so she went to her room to make a few preparations.

\--

Ellana put on the Ring of Doubt that allowed her to move around in stealth. She sneaked silently into the rotunda, where Solas was staring at his painting in concentration. Ellana held her breath and went to stand right by his left ear.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you that revenge will come back to bite you in the ass?” Ellana whispered in Elven and squeezed his butt at the same time.

Solas jumped up and made a sound of surprise. He looked around to make sure no one had observed his reaction.

“The Dalish have a saying: ‘talk is cheap’,” Ellana drawled into his ear, “And you have been talking big all day long. Are you ready to put your money, where your mouth is?”

She licked the shell of his ear. He shuddered. And gulped. And nodded. Ellana was hardly able to hold in her squeal of excitement.

“Excellent. Come to my room, then,” she told him.

Ellana nudged Solas and he walked with her out of the rotunda and through the hall. When they were in the staircase and Solas had closed the door, Ellana took the ring off. Solas’ eyes grew very black.

“You look beautiful, vhenan. Those robes suit you.”

“Thank you. I remembered that you liked them.”

Ellana would never forget how much Solas had enjoyed the Ancient Elven Robes she had found from the temple of Sylaise. She had held on to them for such an occasion as this. She was pleased with Solas’ enthusiasm as he pulled her near for a hungry kiss. When he let her go, she took his hand and climbed the stairs dragging him along.

They got into Ellana’s room and resumed kissing. Hands wandered and breaths grew frantic. Ellana maneuvered them towards her bed.

“Sit,” she told him, and he obeyed.

Solas’ eyes burnt with desire as he watched Ellana kneel down in front of him and undo the fastening of his pants. After some effort, she managed to free his throbbing erection. It stood to attention at the sight of her.

“Mm. You look good enough to eat.”

And that’s what she did. She bent down to take him into her mouth. Solas shut his eyes for a moment and moaned at the feeling. Ellana worked him with her mouth and her hand, enjoying the feeling of him in her mouth and the noises of pleasure he was making. She was pretty sure that Solas was looking at her. After all, she was wearing the robes and giving him head. Solas bucked involuntarily into her mouth a couple of times but she didn’t mind. She felt he was closing the edge.

“Vhenan…”

Ellana stopped for a moment.

“Don’t worry about it. I told you months ago that I wanted to do this. I want you to let go and enjoy it. We have all night,” she said and continued what she had been doing.

Solas was getting close, which made Ellana quicken her pace. She made a noise so he could feel the vibration. That was it. He came, screaming her name.

Ellana licked her lips and looked at Solas. He looked gorgeous and satisfied. He pulled her up and settled her into his lap for a leisurely kiss.

“That was amazing, vhenan,” Solas said in between kisses, “I think it is time for me to see, what you keep under those robes.”

Solas began undressing her with gentleness and care. Wherever skin was revealed, he kissed it and caressed it with the tips of his fingers. Ellana was basking in the feeling of him admiring her body. It made her feel appreciated and wanted, precious. She was in her underthings when she realized that he was almost fully clothed.

“You, too.”

Solas smiled at her and got out of his clothes. Then he tugged her into his arms and kissed her with increasing fire. He opened her breast binding and took a good look at her breasts. He took one nipple into his mouth and fondled the other with his hand. Then he switched. Ellana moaned at his skill. She was so ready for him. She sneaked her hand to his cock and was happy to find that it was already getting hard. Solas made a pleased sound at her touch. He rocked into her hand once. It was enough to make him fully erect and ready to go. Ellana kissed him fiercely.

“You said many things to me today,” she said in a throaty voice, “Which one would you like to start with?”

“Before I start, I want to make sure that you are ready.”

He slid her smalls off and opened her knees. He slipped his hand between her legs, made a circle around her clit, and pushed a finger into her. Ellana sighed and Solas looked satisfied.

“Vhenan, you are wet for me,” he said as he worked his finger inside of her. After a while, he added another one.

“I have been wet for you for months,” Ellana managed to say, though it was an effort. Creators, he was handy!

“Then I will not make you wait any longer.”

Solas positioned himself on top of her and lined his hard length with her opening. He looked deep into her eyes and pushed in. Ellana held her breath as they both stayed still.

“I love you, my heart,” Solas said and Ellana repeated it back to him. Then they started moving together. First he made measured, slow thrusts. As friction gathered, they quickened their pace. Their breaths became shallow as they neared the edge together. He moved his hand to rub at her nub to bring her to her peak.

“Come for me, vhenan,” he told her, “Come for me. Yell out your pleasure; let everyone know you belong to me.”

And she did come and yell his name. Her convulsions were enough to finish him and he joined her bliss. They took shuddering breaths together and kissed.

Solas got off her and settled next to her on the bed. Ellana snuggled into him and he put his arm around her.

“Forgive me for being a fool, vhenan,” Solas said, “We should have done this a long time ago.”

“Don’t worry, Solas. You will have time to make it up to me.”

“It appears that you were right.”

“I often am,” Ellana said, “Which particular instance are you referring to?”

“Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words,” Solas said.

“I think we were pretty loud back there.”

“Through action we found our voice.”

“Sex turns you into a poet. Interesting,” Ellana said, “What will I have to do to get a sonnet out of you?”

“We shall see. But now, vhenan, we sleep.”

“Tomorrow is another day.”

“Indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the sad excuse for smut! I honestly had planned on those two not having sex but I couldn't do that to them, so this is what you get. My apologies.
> 
> "Tomorrow is another day" is from Gone with The Wind. And "talk is cheap" I remember especially from Police Academy (though I can't remember which one).
> 
> Thank you for reading, kudos, and bookmarks! You have no idea how nice it is to get that "You've got kudos!" email :)


	30. Of Friends And Research

Ellana woke up smiling. She burrowed into Solas’ side and let out a satisfied sound.

“Good morning.”

Ellana opened her eyes and looked into Solas’ grey ones. He looked a little sleepy and majorly adorable. She simply had to kiss him.

“Good morning, handsome. You are the best thing that has ever been in my bed.”

Solas chuckled at her and gave her another kiss.

“Good to hear. How late is it?”

Ellana looked out of the window. The sun was already higher than it should have been.

“Too late. I have a meeting with the War Council. I should probably have been there an hour ago.”

Ellana reached for Solas’ morning hard-on and rubbed it.

“How about a quickie before I have to run?” Ellana suggested with a low voice.

“A quickie? I don’t do quickies,” Solas said and began kissing his way down Ellana’s body, “I am a researcher, therefore I am thorough.”

And he was.

\--

Ellana was so late going downstairs that she only grabbed a roll from the breakfast table and went to look for Loranil, who had been watching Fen’Harel for her. She found him practicing his swordplay on the yard. Fen’Harel looked a little bored until he saw Ellana approach and rushed to greet his mistress. She kneeled to pet him.

“Ah, you have finally pulled yourself out of Solas’ arms,” Loranil said and paused drilling for a moment, “How was it? Was he able to bring you to satisfaction? Did he have old-man-troubles? Did you do the Inquisitor?”

Ellana couldn’t stop grinning but she shook her head at her friend.

“You know,” she said, “I’ve heard it said that some people have normal friends. You know, the kind of friends, who don’t ask them about the specifics of their sex lives.”

“’Normal’ friends?” Loranil asked and gave her a sarcastic look, “Says the woman, who commands the armies of the Inquisition, the Inquisitor herself, who was physically in the Fade and has a magical mark on her hand?”

“Still…”

“And should I believe you have one of these normal friends? Let’s see,” Loranil said and adopted a mock-pensive pose, “There’s Varric, your friend, who wrote porn about us. There’s Dorian, the exiled Tevinter mage. Sera, who told me I should join you and Solas in bed. Bull, who would have liked to join the four of us. Do I need to go on?”

“Well…”

“That’s what I thought. Besides, you wouldn’t want normal friends. They are boring,” Loranil said and his expression turned warm, “You look happy, though. That’s enough for me, my strange friend.”

“Thank you. And the same to you.”

“I did have a wonderful time with Skinner last night,” Loranil grinned.

“Skinner? Of the Chargers?” Ellana asked.

“Just out of curiosity, how many Skinners do you know?”

“Fair enough. I would not have thought her to be your type, but I am happy that you found someone. And I’m happy that you are getting over you flat-ear-nonsense.”

“Yeah, well… This is bigger than any of us. We should work together, not hang on to some stupid ideas of superiority. And she’s hot.”

“Good for you,” Ellana said, “Thank you for taking care of Fen’Harel for me.”

“No problem.”

Ellana turned to leave when a thought came to her.

“Wait, what did you do to Fen’Harel while Skinner and you were having your fun?”

“He slept next to us. Why?”

“He slept next to you?”

“Why do you sound so upset? He’s an animal. He slept. It’s not like he would have understood it or as if he had been looking at us.”

Ellana left Loranil, shaking her head. She realized that he was probably right. If she was going to have Solas sleep over as she was planning to do very often, they would have to learn to live with it. Fen’Harel would likely sleep through the night as long as they didn’t scream too loudly. They should be able to manage that, even though Solas was such an amazing lover… Ellana fell into a memory of the previous night and walked straight into Dorian. As she noticed, who she had bumped into, she hugged him.

“You seem happy this morning,” Dorian said as he hugged her back.

“I took your advice.”

“No wonder. It always pays to listen to what I say.”

“I will promise to do so henceforth.”

Ellana let go of him and went to meet the War Council.

\--

“Here we are, back at the Storm Coast,” Ellana said, “Lovely.”

“It could be worse,” Varric said, “We could be in the Hinterlands.”

“Or that creepy swamp with all the undead,” Sera added.

“Or in the Winter Palace,” Blackwall said.

“Or the Fade,” Bull said.

“Oh, yes, everything is fine as long as we are not in the Fade,” Dorian said.

“Such optimism,” Ellana said dryly.

“We have followed you into cruder places than this, my dear,” Vivienne said, “I am sure we will triumph.”

Ellana smiled at her friends. They had been through a lot together and she had grown fond of them. Even Vivienne, in a bizarre way. They were her new clan and she would look after them as a keeper should.

“As we discussed on the way here, we have two issues we need to take care of,” Ellana reminded them, “The darkspawn have arisen out of the earth and need to be returned to it. Also, red templars have some sort of a base here. We need to take it down. I imagine the darkspawn will give us less trouble, so we should handle them first. If I am not remiss in my calculations, it is the turn of Cassandra, Dorian, and Sera to accompany me and Fen’Harel.”

They found the darkspawn. The creatures had broken through to the surface from four different places. Ellana and her friends killed the ones on the surface and closed the holes with rocks and magic to keep them from reopening the passages.

“Those creatures are foul,” Dorian hissed, when they were resting after closing the last hole. 

“I can hardly believe they were people once,” Cassandra said.

“You don’t know that,” Dorian said, “No one knows that.”

“What?” Sera yelled, “I thought they were just corpses or monsters or something! People? What happened to them?”

“There are different accounts,” Cassandra said, “The Chantry teaches that Tevinter magisters breached the Gold City and became tainted. They were the first darkspawn, who later spread the taint to others.”

“Whereas we say that it wasn’t us,” Dorian said, “That the darkspawn have always existed.”

“Doesn’t matter. They’re monsters, so I kill them,” Sera said.

“I agree,” Ellana said, “Even if they have been people at some point, they are not anymore.”

“That is true of the red templars, also,” Cassandra said, “You don’t feel guilty for killing the darkspawn. Neither should you feel guilty for killing the red templars. They are no longer human. They have been corrupted by red lyrium which has the Blight, the same thing, that corrupts the darkspawn. They cannot be redeemed.”

“Thank you, Cassandra, I will think about it,” Ellana said and looked at the warrior, “I didn’t know that you were aware of my moral troubles.”

“You value life and have more faith in mankind than I do. It is admirable, though consuming.”

“Says the idealist,” Ellana said and smiled at her. Cassandra smiled back.

“Ugh, people suck, you hear? You two are going to fly away in minute, your heads are so up in the clouds,” Sera huffed.

“I think they are charmingly naïve,” Dorian said, “We have to shelter them from the ugliness of reality.”

“Dorian, you must be mistaking us with Cullen,” Ellana said, “We are the women covered in darkspawn-gore and spattered with blood, not some blue-eyed maidens, who have spent their whole lives in a barrel.”

“Barrel?” Sera asked, “You mean a brothel?”

“What, you don’t have that saying in Common?” Ellana asked, “When someone has been sheltered for their whole life and never been anywhere or seen anything, we say that they have been raised in a barrel.”

“It makes some sort of sense, I guess,” Dorian said slowly, “Though I would not put it quite like that.”

“Speaking of darkspawn-gore, should we not return to camp to clean ourselves up?” Cassandra suggested.

“Yeah! If I make a sloshing sound when I walk, I don’t want it to be about gore,” Sera said.

“Too much information, Sera,” Cassandra said with a scowl.

“Oh, lighten up, you prude,” Sera said and bumped Cassandra’s shoulder with her fist, “You know what I’m talking about. I know you’ve been sneaking off to see Commander Blush. I bet there’ve been a lot of late night vigils, if you know what I mean.”

Cassandra blushed.

“The Commander and I are friends,” she said.

“Sexy friends.”

“We are both warriors.”

“Lots of stamina.”

“We are people of the Chantry!”

“Were. Lots of repressed desires.”

“Sera, please, let her be,” Ellana said, though she was working hard to hide her smile, “Cassandra and Cullen have the right to be whatever they wish to each other without explaining that to us.”

“You’re no fun,” Sera grumbled.

“Thank you, Inquisitor.”

“You are welcome, Cassandra,” Ellana said, “You and Cullen will have very cute and virtuous babies.”

Sera and Dorian laughed. Cassandra did not look happy.

“Inquisitor!”

“Fine,” Ellana said, “I’m sorry. I will leave you be. Teasing Cullen is much more fun, anyway. He blushes so easily.”

“Inquisitor!”

When they reached the camp, it was already getting dark. The red templars would have to wait for the morning. Most of the others were sitting around the campfire when they arrived.

“Looks like you had fun,” Bull commented on seeing their gory clothes.

“Ah, fun,” Ellana said, “I doubt you and I share the concept of fun, Bull.”

“You can have fun with me anytime, Boss,” Bull promised jovially.

“You do know that my lover is right there, don’t you?” Ellana said and gestured towards Solas, who was looking at Bull with dark eyes. Then he got up, walked up to her, and drew her close.

“There is no more room in her bed, Qunari,” Solas said to Bull and pulled Ellana into a passionate, possessive kiss. Varric whistled.

“Such drama,” Dorian said and shook his head.

“Sorry, man, didn’t mean to offend you. Either of you,” Bull said, “Let me know if you want to make room for a third in that bed.”

“Nah, they wouldn’t go for you, they love elves. They’d take, what’s-his-face, her Dalish friend,” Sera said.

“This is a very strange conversation. One that you have for some Creatorsforsaken reason already had because Loranil mentioned it to me this morning. I have no grasp of why you would feel the need to discuss my… For crying out loud, can we please change the subject?” Ellana asked.

“I do love the smell of darkspawn blood in the evening,” Blackwall said.

“You would,” Sera said, “You’re a Warden. Sort of, anyway.”

“That is a curious thing to love,” Vivienne said, “Pray, why do you love it?”

“It means the bastards are dead.”

“Makes sense,” Bull said.

“Even if some of you find this odor pleasing, I want to be rid of it,” Dorian announced, “I am going to the stream to clean my robes.”

“Yeah, me, too,” Sera said and looked to Ellana, “Are you coming?”

“You go ahead, I will be there in a moment,” Ellana said and looked at Solas, who was still holding her close, “And it looks like Solas will need to clean his clothes, too.”

“And you want to go by yourselves and make out?”

“Something like that,” Ellana said.

“Actually,” Solas said, “I was planning on doing some research…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I have been working late for days, which is an absolute pain. I feel like my brainwaves are described by this diagram: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" is from Apocalypse Now.
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, and bookmarks :) Commenting is also allowed, if you feel like it.


	31. Kill The Archer First

”Good morning, everyone,” Ellana said, ”As you remember, today we have a date with the red templars.”

“Eww,” Sera commented, “If Solas isn’t doing it for you, you have other options. You don’t have to go for those lyrium creeps.”

“Thanks for the mental image,” Varric said and shuddered.

Ellana glared at Sera but chose not to comment.

“Varric, I assume that you want to go kill some red templars,” Ellana looked at the dwarf, who nodded. “Anyone else?”

“I am quite fond of killing templars,” Dorian said, “It is always easier to kill something that wants to kill me simply for being a mage.”

“I’ll go, Boss,” Bull promised, “I felt bad for missing all the fun you had yesterday.”

“Thanks, guys. Let’s go.”

The red templars had claimed an extensive and elaborate network of caves as their base of operations. Leliana’s scouts had gained access into the caves without drawing attention to themselves. Hence, Ellana, her friends, and Fen’Harel were able to catch their opponents unawares.

“I so fucking hate those damned marksmen from the bloody bottom of my frigging heart,” Ellana swore, “Blasted buggery ass this hurts!”

They had just killed one of the patrols they had come across. Despite her best efforts, Ellana had not been able to kill the marksman before he had fired a powerful shot into her shoulder. It was still there. Ellana sat down on a step and gave a comforting pat to Fen’Harel, who was whining next to her, worried for her mood.

“This needs to come off before I can heal myself,” Ellana said, “Bull, do you mind?”

“Not at all, Boss. Hold still.”

Bull snapped the arrow like it had been a twig. He looked at Ellana to make sure she was ready. She nodded and gritted her teeth. Bull pulled the rest of the arrow carefully away. Ellana snapped her hand on the open wound and began the healing.

“New rule: it is always right to kill the archer first,” Ellana said through her teeth.

“Hey!” Varric exclaimed.

“I thought that rule had already been issued,” Dorian said, “I have a vivid mental image of you saying that before.”

“Then I am reinforcing it. Kill the fucking archer first,” Ellana groaned, “Varric, take it as a compliment. People, who are as good as you, are even more dangerous than mages. I expect to see the Chantry locking you up next.”

“Interesting,” Varric said, “Who would keep watch over us?”

“The mages?” Dorian suggested.

“While the templars guard them?” Bull asked.

“Everyone watches everyone,” Dorian said, “It’s the brave, new world.”

“There’s a book in there,” Varric said contemplatively, “I’ll look into it after I finish Savior from The Fade.”

“Oh, goody, you haven’t forgotten,” Ellana said.

“How could I forget to write about my favorite magical, world-saving elf?” Varric asked with a magnanimous smile.

“So, we can look forward to more porn starring the Boss? I like that,” Bull hummed his approval.

“I did not know you liked reading, Bull,” Dorian said.

“I’ve found many books to be very… Inspiring,” Bull said and grinned.

“All right, then,” Ellana said and rolled her eyes, “Let’s go kill some more monsters.”

“Are you sure?” Dorian asked, concern plain in his voice, “You took a bad shot. Maybe we should rest a little longer. Or we could send word to the camp to get someone else so you could heal properly.”

“I thank you for your concern, Dorian,” Ellana said and got up, “I assure you, I am good to go. There is no need for anyone else to get hurt. Being the Inquisitor gives me the privilege of being the official pincushion and saving my friends from that nasty responsibility.”

“That’s why you’re always leading? That’s why you are the only one who doesn’t get enough rest? You’re trying to protect us? To make sure that if anyone’s hurt, it’s you?” Varric asked.

“Among other things.”

Ellana gave them all a gentle smile and led on. They encountered several more patrols but no one else was badly hurt.

“Dorian, I know you really like that trick, where they die and then rise to fight at our side, but it creeps me out,” Varric said as yet another ghostly templar was disintegrating next to them.

“Me, too,” Bull said.

“You have to admit that it’s useful,” Dorian said, “That shadow would have struck at one of us if it wasn’t for that ally.”

“I agree,” Ellana said, “And those shadows are annoying. Almost as annoying as the marksmen. The red templars have truly labored to come up with the most irritating soldiers ever.”

“Speaking of which,” Dorian said and pointed ahead of them.

“Behemoth. Nice,” Bull said.

“The bigger the better, huh, Bull?” Ellana asked.

“Definitely.”

As the behemoth did not have much back-up, it didn’t take them long to kill it. Varric went closer and prodded the carcass with his foot.

“That’s not a person anymore,” he said.

“Cassandra said that yesterday,” Ellana said, “I think she may have been right. These things are monsters, not people. I have no idea how they can even be alive after everything that red lyrium has done to them. How much do they understand? How can they carry out orders?”

“Bartrand used to say that the red lyrium idol sang to him,” Varric said, “Whatever the hell that meant.”

“Maybe it’s the Blight in the lyrium,” Dorian said, “You know that the darkspawn have a way of communicating without words. The Wardens supposedly understand it through the taint. It may be similar.”

“Does that mean that Corypheus can control the song in the lyrium?” Ellana thought aloud, “It may be possible since he can control the Wardens through the taint.”

“Can we go kill something else? This talk of singing lyrium is making me itchy,” Bull said.

“Well, there’s a boat,” Varric said, “How about we take a relaxing trip to that island over there?”

They got on the boat and rowed to the island. They went out to explore it to see, what sort of trouble they would find. It didn’t take long for the trouble to find them.

“Dragonlings. I wonder, where their mommy is,” Varric said.

“Let’s go find it!” Bull enthused, “This isn’t a big island, it cannot be far.”

“Should we go and get the others?” Dorian asked.

“We have killed dragons before,” Bull pointed out, “With ease.”

“It’s true, though so far we’ve had a lot bigger crowd,” Ellana said, “Can the five of us take down a dragon?”

“We used to do it all the time with Hawke,” Varric said.

“All the time?”

“Fine, only once. But it went just fine.”

“Just fine?”

“All right, Broody almost died,” Varric admitted, “But we made it and he has some groovy scars to show for it.”

“That’s comforting,” Ellana said, “Though I do like groovy scars. And we have gotten a lot of experience during the past months. If you are up for it, I think we can take that dragon down.”

The others nodded and Fen’Harel looked as eager as ever. So they went to find and kill a dragon.

“This is one tough bastard,” Bull yelled from somewhere under the beast.

“No shit,” Varric hollered back.

“Is it just me, or was this easier the last time we did it?” Ellana called out to them.

“Must have been good eating on the coast with all those shipwrecks,” Bull answered.

They had fought the dragon for what felt like forever. It was getting tired but that didn’t stop it from spewing those nasty bursts of electricity. Ellana was so busy trying to keep their barriers up that she had little time to cast offensive spells. They were lucky that it didn’t have any dragonlings about. This particular creature was bad enough on its own.

Bull was yelling something Ellana didn’t understand.

“Is that the ‘I will touch myself later thinking about this moment’ phrase, Bull?” Ellana shouted.

“It most definitely is,” Bull sounded.

“Can I join?” Dorian called from further back.

“Of course. It’s practically a tradition.”

“You two have something going on and this is how you tell me?” Ellana yelled, “Dirty talk while we are killing a dragon? Really, guys?”

“There’s no time like the present,” Dorian shouted.

“That’s true on a number of levels. Let’s kill this dragon and then you can tell me all about it,” Ellana answered and thought for a while before adding, “On second thought, not all, if you consider this sexy. Just the basics are all I want to know.”

“Smart move, Inquisitor,” Varric yelled.

“There isn’t that much to tell,” Dorian hollered.

“We kill a dragon, we hook up,” Bull yelled, “It looks likes it won’t take long for this one to bite the dust.”

He was right. The dragon didn’t last long after that. It was an arrow that took it permanently down.

“I told you: kill the archer first,” Ellana said, “This didn’t know it, poor beast. Well done, everyone. And nice shot, Varric.”

They looted the area and returned to the boat. They were getting into it when Ellana noticed something gleaming in the sun. She went to see, what it was.

“Look at this,” she told the others, “Who would ever go into a fight dressed like this?”

The others came to look. There was a body of a woman. It was pierced with arrows all around. She had been wearing a few pieces of armor in the shape of golden bikini and nothing else. Who in their right mind would come up with that sort of chainmail? And who would wear it to battle? Ellana wondered.

“This is, what people call ‘too dumb to live’,” Varric said.

“Maybe the garment is magical?” Dorian offered.

“Poor, dumb girl,” Ellana said, “I’ll take a piece of the chainmail for Dagna to see if she can figure it out.” 

“Which piece?” Bull asked.

“Just a small one, not a whole piece.”

“Crazy world,” Varric said and shook his head.

\--

The night had fallen when they finally reached the camp. The campfire was ablaze and there was food. The wearied fighters collapsed around the fire with grateful expressions and took the food that was handed to them. Ellana sat next to Solas and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

“How was your day, vhenan?” Solas asked.

“Long,” she answered, “I’m sure Varric will spin the tale as soon as he has eaten.”

Solas nodded and Ellana turned her full attention to her food. The day had been so busy she had not had a decent meal. By the time they had been fighting the dragon, her stomach had been growling so loudly it had almost rivaled the roaring beast. She saw from the corner of her eye that Solas was looking at the speed at which she gobbled her food.

“You have not eaten,” Solas said.

“Yes, I have. I distinctly remember munching a few berries.”

“You should take better care of yourself, vhenan. You need sustenance to fill your mana reserves.”

“As you wish, hahren,” Ellana said in the tones employed by anyone who had ever received similar advice.

“I would prefer it if you didn’t call me that.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

“Because,” Solas whispered into her ear in Elven, “I want to take you roughly in my tent and cause you so intense pleasure that you will have to bite your lip not to scream loud enough to wake the whole camp. Which is not something, I would want to do with my pupil.”

Ellana felt her face flush. She was still getting used to this new side of Solas. She enjoyed it, though.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Varric began, “Gather around to hear the tale of the mighty Inquisitor and her awesome friends.”

Everyone turned their attention to Varric, who began telling of their day. Ellana liked listening to Varric. He was a born storyteller. He described vividly their fights and their advance through the caves. There was more witty dialogue than Ellana remembered but she didn’t mind. That was just Varric’s way.

When Varric got to Ellana’s injury, Solas nudged her that she would show it to him. Ellana shook her head and whispered that she was fine and that he could see it later. He didn’t seem pleased but let it go. He snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Solas tensed and his grip tightened when Varric told about Dragon Island and their decision to go fight the beast by themselves. Ellana moved her arm to hug him in reassurance. She could tell that her lover would have a few words to her when they retired.

“…There it laid, in all its magnificence, the dragon of Dragon Island. I guess they’ll have to rename it after we came through,” Varric ended his story and received a round of laughter and applauds.

People left the campfire to go to bed. They said their goodnights and disappeared into the tents. Ellana knew that Solas wanted to talk to her, so she followed him into his tent.

“Let me see the injury, please,” he said.

Ellana opened her robes to show it to him. It had healed well. Only a small scar was left to indicate that anything had happened. Solas examined the mark carefully and laid a kiss on it.

“I’m sorry for this,” he said.

“Well, you know how those damned marksmen can be,” she said, “I’ve been hurt worse.”

“Getting shot didn’t stop you from going against a dragon. With a small team,” Solas said.

“Why do you sound so sad?” Ellana asked, “We came back, unharmed.”

“It makes me sad that you don’t care for your own well-being.”

“You care for mine, I care for yours,” Ellana said and ran her hand along his neck.

Solas smiled a little.

“When I am not there to care for it, you will have to do it yourself.”

“You are here now, so I don’t have to do it myself,” Ellana said and shrugged her robes off her shoulders, leaving her upper body bare. “You can do me.”

“That’s not exactly, what I- -” Solas began. Ellana silenced him with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was just walking the (big, wolf-like) dog. By the side of the road, there was a thin forest. There were two piles of logs, about as tall as me. My brain supplied: a Logging Stand. I, however, did not look for a stick to claim the Logging Stand in my name (or for the Inquisition). That would have been frowned upon, I am certain. I'm not saying that I've spent too much time with this project or anything. This could probably happen to anybody... Right?


	32. Living in The Free World

”Boss, a word?”

Ellana looked up from her breakfast. Bull seemed a little antsy. She got up and followed him.

“What is it, Bull?”

He told her that he’d had word from the Ben-Hassrath. They did not like what they had heard of Corypheus and his red templars. They were willing to co-operate with the Inquisition in order to defeat the enemy that threatened the entire world. Very nice of them, Ellana thought. They could have used such thinking months ago, but better late than never.

“We can use all the help we can get,” Ellana said, “Where do we meet this envoy, then?”

“He’s here, probably lurking somewhere around these woods,” Bull replied.

“That’s convenient,” Ellana commented, “It sounds awfully lonely for him to lurk in the woods by himself. Let’s go get a team and meet him.”

Ellana and Bull picked up Cole, Solas, and Fen’Harel from the camp and went to look for the Qunari envoy. He turned out to be an elven warrior called Gatt, an old acquaintance of Bull. As Ellana listened to them talk, she wondered at Gatt’s accent. If she hadn’t known any better, she would have placed it in Ferelden, not Tevinter. Maybe it was the accent of a former slave, not a regular Tevene accent. Not that it mattered.

Ellana talked with Gatt while Bull gathered the Chargers and told them what was going on. She asked him about his history with Bull, or Hissrad, and the nature of the co-operation the Qunari were offering. He seemed happy with the Qun and the place it had given him. Ellana could understand that certain type of people were drawn to an ideology that told them exactly what they ought to do and who they ought to be. She was not within that category.

“Order makes you happy,” Cole said as they were moving towards the first Tevene camp.

“You talking to me?” Gatt asked.

“You want to know your place,” Cole said, “It makes you mad because that’s what it was like to be a slave. But it also makes you happy because freedom is confusing and being confused makes you angry. Now I’m confusing you and you are getting angry. I will stay quiet.”

“It’s good to know your place,” Gatt said, “No need to worry, struggle, or compete. There’s certainty and peace.”

“And if you do not like your place?” Solas asked, “What then?”

“You learn to like it,” Gatt said.

“People change,” Ellana said, “No one stays the same through their whole life.”

“People may change, the Qun remains,” Gatt said with the air of finality.

The first camp did not present them with much trouble. There were only a handful of soldiers, none of which was particularly skilled. The second one further away had a mage, who was little tougher, but no match for them. When they were done, Gatt lit the signal fire. Everything was going according to the plan, until a group of mages ran onto the beach near the Chargers.

“You can still call them back,” Ellana said.

“They need to hold that position,” Gatt said.

“If they do that, they are dead,” Bull said.

Gatt tried to appeal to Bull and said that he would become Tal-Vashoth if he chose to call the retreat. To Ellana, there was no question. The Chargers were theirs and the Inquisition looked after its own.

“Call the retreat,” she told Bull.

Several things happened in rapid succession. The Chargers retreated, the mages cast fireballs at the dreadnought, and the ship exploded. What a big freaking mess, Ellana thought. Gatt got angry and spewed insults at ”Hissrad”.

“His name is Iron Bull,” Ellana said.

“I guess it is,” the elf said and left.

“I suppose this means that there will be no co-operation with the Qunari?” Ellana said.

“He will have to talk to someone higher up before he can announce it, but yeah,” Bull said.

“Why the fuck did the dreadnought just explode?” Ellana asked, “Before you say gaatlok, that’s not what I mean. The explosion will kill everyone. Why not leave a chance to survive?”

“It’s the way of the Qun,” Bull said.

“The way of the Qun is to die with the ship?” Ellana asked in disbelief, “The Dalish are stupid, the Creators bless us, but at least we believe in making our own choices.”

“The choice is either to live or not to live by the Qun,” Bull said.

“Living by the Qun may mean dying by the Qun?”

“Yes.”

Ellana was even more certain that she would have hated living under the Qun. For starters, she would have been collared and made unable to speak for the terrible crime of having been born a mage. She would have been used as a sentient weapon, nothing more. And she would have been forced to kill at the command of another. If she had been allowed to live, that is. They may have sent her to one of those re-educators Bull had told her about. They would have broken her mind until she was no longer her. Could a re-educated person have a normal life? Were they able to wish things, to dream, to enjoy life? Were they able to love?

Ellana looked at Solas, who was chatting with Cole. The three of them would not have been allowed such freedoms under the Qun. The mages would have been collared or killed and the spirit would have been killed straightaway, no questions asked. Ellana had once asked Bull if he thought the Qun should spread over all of Thedas. He had listed the people, who would not make it, and stated that he did not want it to spread. It would suit some people but destroy many.

Ellana walked up to Solas and took hold of his hand. He looked at her and seemed to study her mood.

“What is it?” Solas asked silently.

“Thank you for not being Qunari,” Ellana whispered.

“Likewise,” he answered.

“Wait,” Ellana said with a gleam in her eye, “Did you just admit that the Qunari are worse than the Dalish?”

“I did no such thing.”

“But you prefer me being Dalish to being Qunari?”

“I prefer you being you,” Solas replied, “Had you been Qunari, they would have broken you and collared you and made you be something you are not.”

“They would have killed me for not killing innocent people,” Ellana said.

“Possibly,” Solas agreed.

They walked back to the camp in silence and returned to Skyhold.

\--

A few days later, Bull asked Ellana to join him for a walk on the ramparts. He did not tell her that he had invited her into an attempted assassination. This she found out a little later, when two guards attacked him. It was hardly a fight – it was Bull, after all. Before they died, they called him Tal-Vashoth.

Bull wasn’t shaken up about the incident. He had noticed the change in guard rotation and knew to wait for trouble. What seemed to bother him most was being Tal-Va-fucking-shoth, as he put it.

“Are you going to be all right?”

“Yeah, it’s just a knife-wound. I’ve had worse.”

“I know that – I’ve seen you take a sword to the stomach,” Ellana said, “I meant about being kicked out of the Ben-Hassrath.”

“I’ll get used to it,” Bull said, “I’ve still got my Chargers. Thanks for that, Boss.”

“Don’t thank me, I had nothing to do with it. And about leaving the Qun… I don’t think it makes any difference at all. You are still you. No one else has the right to decide, whether you are Tal-Vashoth or something else. It is your call to make,” Ellana said, “That’s what we do here, in the free world. We make our own choices. And our own mistakes. But saving your people was not one of them.”

“I know, Boss. I want you to know that this is where I want to be.”

“Good,” Ellana said and smiled at him. Bull smiled back.

“What do you think, do we need to do something about the security here?” Ellana asked, “I am not comfortable with the idea that two assassins were simply able to sneak into Skyhold and make an attempt on your life. You noticed it, yes, but not all of us are as perceptive as you.”

“We run too big an operation here,” Bull said, “How could you possibly inspect everyone that comes through? People arrive in groups and most of them are eager to do their part for the cause or for you. There’s bound to be a few bad apples in the bunch, there’s no way around it. You have many enemies. All of them have their spies here. Some of your friends have their own, too.”

“That’s bloody fantastic,” Ellana said grimly, “I remember a time when no one was interested in what I was doing. These days, everyone wants to know.”

“Shit happens,” Bull stated.

“You never said a truer word,” Ellana agreed, “Maybe I should send copies of Varric’s book to all my enemies so that they wouldn’t need to go through the trouble of sending spies.”

“Go for it,” Bull said. 

“Thanks for the talk and the attempted assassination. Go take care of that wound before it kills you.”

“Right you are, Boss.”

\--

Ellana spent the day with her friends. She sat on the roof with Sera eating terrible cookies. Sera told Ellana of her life which made Ellana understand the rogue a little better. She encouraged her to come up with Inquisition cookies. They would go nicely with Varric’s Inquisitor book. They could sell them together and get a lot of money.

Blackwall was still somber and gloomy but Ellana believed that he seemed a little less so than before. She hoped that he was making peace with himself and his past and trying to find something else to do besides feeling bad for making a huge mistake years ago. She asked his thoughts on the Inquisition and the people, who made it a reality. When she was petting Fen’Harel while listening to him, she noticed that he had many nice things to say about Josephine. Ellana wondered if she could steer him into saying some of those things to the ambassador. She made a mental note to look into it. Blackwall was a decent and honorable man, who could use a little joy in his life. Josephine was a clever and compassionate woman, who worked hard and could use a break. If they found something together, it would be good for the both of them.

Ellana came across Loranil, who was having a conversation with Scout Harding in front of the tavern. When he saw Ellana, he said goodbye to the scout and came to meet her. Ellana noticed that he was walking kind of funny. Maybe limping a little? Was his side sore?

“I heard you were at the Storm Coast,” Loranil said, “How was it?”

“Rainy and grey. We killed darkspawn, red templars, a dragon, and some Vints,” Ellana said and petted Fen’Harel on the head. The wolf was disappointed that Loranil had not petted him like he normally did.

Loranil gave a low whistle.

“You’ve been busy,” he said, “How many dragons is that now?”

“Three.”

“You will make them extinct by the year’s end.”

“I highly doubt it,” Ellana said, “What have you been up to? You look like you’re in pain.”

“You know, the usual. Practicing and running a few errands for Cullen,” Loranil said.

“That’s vague,” Ellana commented and looked at him closely, “You have some sort of trouble with your right knee, you are careful of your left side, and it looks like your left elbow is sore, as well. How did you gain such injuries during training?”

“You know how training can be,” Loranil said, looking uncomfortable, “One moment you are standing over your fallen opponent with your sword in hand, the next you are on the ground, being pushed down with a shield.”

“That doesn’t sound like training,” Ellana said, “Isn’t training supposed to keep that kind of situations from happening?”

“Fine,” Loranil huffed, “I didn’t get these from training.”

“So you got them while…”

“Skinner and I were trying to do the Inquisitor.”

Ellana burst out laughing. She laughed so hard she actually doubled over and felt it best to sit on the ground next to Fen’Harel. People were starting to stare but she didn’t care. It was worth it.

“I can’t believe you actually tried that,” Ellana said, wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes, “Didn’t you see the picture Solas drew? That’s physically impossible.”

“We thought it looked doable,” Loranil defended himself, “Though we were drunk. We had been celebrating Skinner’s return and the Chargers kicking those Vints’ ass, when we had the idea.”

Ellana shook her head.

“I still think it could have worked if we had been sober,” Loranil said.

“Please, tell me that you are not thinking of trying again.”

“Not in the near future.”

“You are an idiot,” Ellana stated.

“Let me remind you that there were two of us,” Loranil said.

“A match made in heaven,” Ellana said and got up, “I wish you luck. It sounds like you will need it.”

Ellana went inside and ran into Varric. He was organizing a game of Wicked Grace and asked her to join. She was still shite at the game but enjoyed spending time with her friends, so she readily accepted. They had a fun night. They played, drank, and told stories. There was some flirting around the table which Ellana was happy to see. Cassandra and Cullen exchanged warm looks when they thought that no one saw. It took only a little nudge from Ellana to get Blackwall to pay Josephine a few compliments and she took it from there like the diplomat she was. 

At the end of the night, Josephine went home with almost all of their money. Cullen went home naked. Sera didn’t go home because she fell asleep under the table.

Ellana yawned and got up. She went to the rotunda to see if Solas was still up. She found him gathering his papers into a neat stack.

“You are going to bed?” Ellana asked.

“Yes. It is time to continue my studies in the Fade,” he answered.

Ellana walked up to him and he enclosed her into his arms. They kissed for some time.

“Will you come join me upstairs?” Ellana asked.

“Not tonight, vhenan,” Solas replied, “I fear I have been smothering you lately, and I do need to continue my studies.”

“Smothering me?”

“You carry a lot of responsibility. I do not wish to see you exhausted. You need your sleep,” Solas said gently, “If I am around, that will not happen, since I cannot keep my hands away from your marvelous figure.”

“Such a terrible fate, having sex all the time with the man I love,” Ellana said with a raised eyebrow, “When people hear of my terrible lot, they will feel very sorry for me.”

“Vhenan…”

“All right. If that is what you wish, I will try to sleep without you. Goodnight, Solas,” Ellana said and gave him a final kiss.

“Goodnight, vhenan. I will see you in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may have had some more errors than they regularly do. For this I am sorry. It's very, very late but I wanted to finish the chapter today since I won't have time to write tomorrow (plus, I'm in the habit of producing a chapter in one sitting - that's why these are so short). 
> 
> A will try to be awake when I write the next one.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	33. Security Breach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for this chapter (just in case): attempted assault. If that is a trigger for you, or you simply don't wish to read stuff like that, you can skip this chapter.

Ellana was woken up by a feeling akin to being hit with a huge sledgehammer. It hurt like hell and felt like the life had been sucked out of her. She would have screamed but there was no air in her lungs. She was seeing the world through black and white spots.

Ellana tried to concentrate on the reason for this awakening and saw a dark figure jump from the floor onto her bed. She tried to cast but nothing happened. The figure was already on her. She saw a flash of metal in his right hand and reacted. She managed to make a movement sudden and forceful enough to launch the knife out of the attacker’s hand. It looked like he considered going after it but decided against it. He fell on her and grabbed her throat with both hands.

Ellana tried not to panic. She knew she only had a little time before the darkness would descend permanently. What was it that she had been taught to do if this happened? The keeper had told to make the attacker loosen his grip and to lever him off. Ellana ran quickly through the series of movements in her head. Then she maneuvered her right knee up and made sure her foot was steadily set on the bed. She would only get one chance to try it. She would have to make it count.

Ellana snapped her hands simultaneous at the pressure points in his elbow joints and pushed him up and to her left with all the might she could summon into her right leg. His grip loosened and he was thrown off the bed. Ellana tried to scream but it didn’t come out quite right at first. She scrambled off the bed and wobbled towards the door.

“Help! Help! Help!”

\--

Solas was in the Fade. He was meeting with an old friend, a spirit, who had often given him good council, useful knowledge, and the simple pleasure of its company. They had talked of many things that night – the Inquisition, the shards, the rifts and their effects in the Fade, Corypheus. Solas had hoped that the spirit could tell him something of use but, even if it did not, a conversation with an old friend was always enjoyable.

“You have spent much time with mortals,” the spirit said, “Has it been difficult to hide your true self?”

“Hardly,” Solas said, “After all, without the power of my orb, there isn’t that much to hide.”

“If you say so,” said the spirit. It seemed unconvinced.

“Why would anyone suspect that an elven myth is walking amongst them?” Solas asked, “Compassion knows, of course, but will not say anything because that would be against its nature. There are Dalish but they are as blind to the truth as they ever were.”

“Even the one you have taken to bed?”

Solas gave the spirit a look. He was not especially keen on the idea of discussing Ellana with it.

“She is different from the Dalish, although she has been raised as one.”

“If that is true, you should consider telling her the truth.”

Solas shook his head slowly. It was an idea that he had toyed with, but the risk was too big. If she took it badly, he could be killed or locked away. They could lose the world to Corypheus. And he would lose Ellana. It pained him to think about it.

The spirit had been following the changing expressions on his face.

“You love her.”

Solas was about to answer when a wisp appeared. It moved fast and skidded up to the spirit. There was some communication. Solas didn’t like it. This had not happened before.

“Dread Wolf,” the spirit said, “Your heart is under attack.”

Solas woke up with a roar of rage.

\--

Finally, Ellana’s voice worked. It still sounded like croaking but it was something, at least. She needed help. The attacker had in all probability cast a holy smite on her. She couldn’t cast or turn into an owl to fly away. She couldn’t even run, she could hardly walk. Her only chance of survival was getting help, because her attacker was a sprightly man, who would soon catch her. Even if he had no more hidden weapons, he’d be able to kill her with his bare hands. In times like these, she really hated living on the top of the fucking fortress. So, she kept yelling for help. Where was Fen’Harel?

Right then Ellana was kicked from behind. She bounced onto the wall and cried out in pain. The attacker grabbed hold of her hands and pinned her to the wall.

“Filthy, sly pagan bitch. I should have just slit your throat in your sleep like I was gonna. I bet you wouldn’t have woken up. That should teach me not to go by the book,” the man groaned at her and hit her face against the wall. “Fucking knife-eared witch.”

“Who sent you?”

“People of righteousness, who want to see you burn, pagan. You and your Inquisition.”

Ellana tried to fight him but he had a death grip on her hands. He turned her arm to force her down. She yelled and complied but he just turned harder until she was completely on the ground. He kicked her once and dragged her from both hands to where his knife had flown. Ellana tried to struggle but she couldn’t get a decent foothold. She kept screaming for help.

\--

Solas leapt from his bed and started Fadestepping through the fortress. He was hoping ardently that Ellana was in her own room so that he would not have to look for her. Fadestepping through walls was never a solid plan but he knew Skyhold well and was in such a rush that he took the risk.

Between the cooldowns Solas ran. His heartbeat was racing and his thoughts were running as fast as he was. What had happened? Who had attacked her? How had they gotten in? Was she even still alive? Why had he not gone to her when she had asked?

Solas knew that he would never forgive himself if she died. He picked up his pace even more. He could worry about the consequences to his body later.

\--

The attacker reached the knife and took it into his hand. His expression turned vindictive. Ellana tried to fight but he turned her arm again until it was in a painful lock. She knew that the moment had come. Fuck. She wasn’t ready to die yet. She had Solas. She had her friends. Corypheus was still out there, someone needed to get him. It looked like that someone wouldn’t be her. The end of the line had come to Ellana Lavellan. She gulped in tears.

“You die now, pagan,” the man said and lowered his knife towards her throat. Ellana closed her eyes.

Ellana was expecting sharp pain but none came. Instead, there was a puff and the sound of twin blades pushing into a body. Ellana felt something warm spray onto her back. The attacker’s grip on her loosened and his dead body hit the ground next to her.

“You don’t have to be scared anymore,” Cole said from behind her, “You are safe now.”

Ellana let her tears fall freely. She took gulps of air and tried to work through the shaking. Cole crouched down next to her and she hugged him.

“Thank you, Cole.”

They sat there, hugging, and Ellana cried.

\--

Solas cursed the stairs under his breath. He ran the last few and burst into Ellana’s room afraid of what he would find. There were three figures on the ground. There was blood. He hurried closer and let out a strangled sound when he saw that Ellana was alive. He fell on the floor and threw his arms around her.

“Vhenan, I thought I’d lost you. Thank you.”

\--

Ellana leaned on Solas and extended an arm to hug him, too.

“You should thank Cole,” she said, “If it wasn’t for him, you would have lost me.”

“Thank you, Cole,” Solas said hoarsely, “I owe you my heart.”

Cole bobbed his head in acknowledgement.

“Is that so?” Ellana said weakly, “I knew it. You two are going to run away together.”

Solas didn’t say anything. He just kissed her tears away.

They sat a while longer on the floor, hugging each other. Ellana felt the shivering stop and the ache start. She was no longer crying. Having Solas and Cole there made her feel better. They made her feel safe. And loved.

“Vhenan, are you hurt?” Solas asked. He sounded concerned.

Ellana took a moment to go through her injuries.

“I have sore muscles, bruises, and small wounds. He twisted my arm hard but it doesn’t seem like it’s broken or that any joints are dislocated. There might be some internal damage because he gave me a bad kick into the torso,” she said, “And he did hit me with a holy smite, but that’s not supposed to do any physical damage, is it?”

Anger filled Solas’ face.

“Death was too good for him,” he said bitterly, “Would you lay on your back so that I can heal you? Please?”

“I would prefer it if you did that on the bed. There’s a pool of blood I would like to avoid.”

Solas looked apprehensive but helped Ellana carefully onto the bed. She laid down onto her back and Solas began to heal her.

“Cole, could you look for Fen’Harel? He was in the room, when I went to bed, but I haven’t seen him since. I’m worried for him. I hope that man didn’t kill him.”

“He’s here,” Cole called out from the balcony, “He’s sleeping. The drug makes him happy.”

“Certain kind of people put more value on the life of an animal than that of a person,” Solas said through his teeth.

Ellana put her hand on his to soothe him. There were sounds from the stairs. Soon, a group of Inquisition soldiers led by Cullen burst through the door. They took in the scene like Solas had done a little earlier and lowered their weapons.

“Inquisitor, are you all right?” Cullen asked, “Screams were heard.”

“And yet it took you this long to come see, what they were about,” Solas said with barely contained anger.

“We needed to be prepared for whatever we were going to face,” Cullen said, “Going unprepared could have meant death to the helpers.”

“Taking time could have meant death to the Inquisitor,” Solas practically growled and got up, “How did a templar assassin get into a fortress guarded by your forces?”

“Solas,” Ellana addressed him and continued in Elven, “I am alive, dearest. I understand that you are angry but you are directing your anger at the wrong people.”

Solas took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and let it go. He cleared most of the anger off his face and settled back next to Ellana.

“I apologize, Commander,” he said, “I am shaken up by what has happened. I mean you no disrespect.”

“Don’t worry, Solas, I understand,” Cullen said, “If this happened to Ca- - A certain person, I would already have attacked the one I thought responsible. Speaking of which – who is responsible? Do we know anything about the assassin?”

“Templar, for sure, because he was able to use the holy smite,” Ellana said, “He said that he was sent by… Who was it? Something about righteous people, who want to see me and the Inquisition to burn, I think. He called me pagan. Well, he called me a lot of things, but I think that was the most important one.”

Cullen went to examine the body.

“I recognize him,” he said after a while, “He joined about a month ago. Said he wanted to serve the cause. I should have asked, which cause that was. Maybe he would have been dumb enough to tell.”

“He didn’t seem like a red templar to me,” Ellana said and winched as Solas touched a sore spot. He gave her an apologetic smile but continued healing her.

“He doesn’t,” Cullen said, “Not all the templars went red. Some of them joined us, others remained with factions of the Chantry that oppose us.”

“They have to be very radical to attempt something this brazen,” a new voice added, “I’ll have my people look into it. We will find out, who sent him.”

Ellana had no idea when Leliana had arrived. The Spymaster could have been at the soldiers’ heels for all she knew. She was not at her sharpest in the present set of circumstances.

“And then?” Solas asked.

“We will return the favor,” Leliana replied.

“I will be there,” Solas stated.

“You won’t be the only one,” Cullen said, “I’m guessing there’ll be a long list of people coming along.”

They all gathered around Ellana’s bed to look at her. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

“As fun as that sounds, there is nothing we can do about it tonight. I ask that you take that body away and clean the floor. Whoever is not doing that should go back to bed and try to get some sleep. I’ll find somewhere else to sleep for the rest of the night,” Ellana said.

“Are you sure you are all right?” Cullen asked.

“Yes,” she answered, “Thank you for your concern and for coming. Now, stop worrying and go back to bed.” 

“If you say so, Inquisitor.”

“I do.”

A few of the soldiers stayed behind to clear the body away. The others left one by one. Solas and Ellana remained on the bed.

“Where are you planning on sleeping for the rest of the night?” Solas asked.

“I was hoping my favorite apostate hobo would be willing to accommodate me.”

“Dorian?”

“Har, har, you funny man,” Ellana said and pulled him into a kiss, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Solas said, “It is time for me to take you into my chambers so that I can protect you from your enemies.”

“That sounds formal,” Ellana said.

Solas slipped his hands under her knees and back and lifted her up.

“Are you seriously going to carry me all the way to your room?”

“Why not?” Solas asked, “I enjoy having you in my arms. Especially so soon after acquiring the experience of what it would feel like if I lost you. I want to assure the both of us that you are alive and safe.”

Damn, Ellana thought, Solas is one smooth son of a bitch.

Solas did carry her all the way to his chamber. He held her the entire night and, despite everything, she did feel alive and safe in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been some years since I attended a class on the use of force (note the lack of capital letter - I didn't go to a Jedi school) which means that doing what Ellana did could not be useful. Our exercises had more to do with handcuffs and situations in a standing position (I didn't mean that to sound dirty, so stop laughing, Sis). Some of those things I remember, though, and I tried to describe them as best I could. (StealthSister could give a better account of wrestling, that is more her field than mine.)


	34. Happiness Shared Is Happiness Multiplied

The next morning, Ellana gathered her inner circle and Loranil into Josephine’s office.

“Good morning, everyone,” she said, “I will not keep you long from your plans but there is something you should be aware of. I would prefer it if you heard it from me, not from gossip. Last night an attempt was made on my life while I was sleeping.”

“What?!”

Ellana made a gesture to silence the immediate responses.

“A templar rogue snuck into my room, slammed me with a holy smite, and attempted to kill me. I fought him off once but the next time would have been successful if Cole had not intervened,” Ellana explained, “Everything was resolved quickly. No harm done.”

“How did he get in?” Dorian asked.

“Cullen said that he had joined about a month ago. He must have been doing reconnaissance. It isn’t that difficult to get into my room, not for a rogue.”

“The security here sucks,” Varric said.

“Sad but true,” Ellana affirmed, “Bull was also attacked yesterday.”

“How horrid,” Josephine said.

“That was nothing,” Bull replied, “A mere formality, courtesy of the Ben-Hassrath.”

“You are considered more dangerous than I am,” Ellana said, “Your former employers sent two guys after you, whereas whoever was targeting me only sent one. They must not think much of me.”

“But he was a templar,” Loranil pointed out, “Aren’t they supposed to be good against mages? What is this ‘holy smite’ you mentioned?”

“Templars use it to draw all the mana out of a mage,” Vivienne said, “It leaves the drained mage unable to cast for a long time.”

“Does it hurt?” Loranil asked.

“Fuck yeah,” Ellana replied.

“Was I hit with a giant hammer? I can’t cast. No air in my lungs, I can’t breathe. What happened? Is this the end?” Cole said.

“How are you?” Dorian asked Ellana.

“I am fine,” she said, “You don’t have to worry about me. People try to kill me all the time, as all of you have witnessed. There is just something about me that makes them want to see me dead.”

“That’s true,” Sera admitted.

“Was he working alone or a part of some group?” Cassandra asked.

“We can’t be sure yet,” Leliana replied, “My people are looking into it. He said something that implies that he may have been sent by some group.”

“When you go after them, let us know,” Blackwall said and everyone nodded.

“Now that everyone is bummed out, I will give you some good news,” Ellana said, “We will soon leave for the Emerald Graves. That means lots of awesomely green forests which make me happy as a clam. Or a little nug. And I will be hopping around like one, which means that there will be many opportunities for making fun of me.”

“Sounds good,” Sera said.

\--

The Emerald Graves were very green indeed. Ellana could feel the spring in her step when she walked in the beautiful, lush forest. Blackwall said that the scenery hadn’t changed at all in ten years. Ellana had no trouble believing that the forest looked the same as it had been when the ancient elves had walked the grounds.

“What is it with you and forests?” Sera asked as they walked towards the camp of Fairbanks and his associates. 

“Everything looks so new and fresh,” Ellana said, “When things die, new things grow to take their place. Forests are alive and they give life. I can almost feel the energy through my soles.”

“That’s because you’re not wearing shoes, dummy,” Sera said, “Why did you ditch your boots?”

“I love the feel of the forest under my feet. To have your toes in the grass… It’s wonderful.”

“I’d watch out, where I step, if I was you,” Sera said, “Else you’ll have your toes in bear shit. Or is that wonderful, too?”

“Who is this Fairbanks we are to meet?” Vivienne asked.

“He has gathered together the refugees, who have fled the civil war and the Freemen of the Dales,” Cassandra explained, “He sent us word that he wants to meet with the Inquisition to discuss the possibility of co-operation.”

“It is admirable to help those in need – if you gain success,” Vivienne said, “Otherwise it’s a waste of time that benefits no one.”

“It looks like he has been successful,” Ellana said as they arrived at the refugee camp.

The camp wasn’t big. Probably small enough for everyone to know each other. There were several people in the front yard. They seemed to be reporting to a youngish man with black hair and masculine features. Ellana walked up to him. He looked confused at first but then appeared to put two and two together and his face lit up into a charming smile.

“Inquisitor,” he said, “It’s such a pleasure to finally meet you. I am Fairbanks. I have heard much of you and your beauty and I’m happy to see that none of it was exaggerated. In fact, the rumors didn’t do you justice.”

“Thank you,” Ellana said, “I have heard some of what you have accomplished here. Would you kindly tell us why you contacted us?”

Fairbanks told of the operation they had going on and the trouble with the Freemen of the Dales. He explained that defeating the thugs would be beneficial to the Inquisition since the Freemen were working for the red templars.

“Of course they are,” Ellana huffed, “Who isn’t these days?”

“Will you do it, Inquisitor?”

“Defeat them? Yes, we will do it. They are harassing innocent refugees and helping the red templars. They need to be stopped.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor,” he said and smiled, “Please, keep me up to date on your progress. The notes we have on them are just inside the base, on the table. If you have anything to ask, anything at all, you will find me here, Inquisitor, any time.”

The four women, followed by Fen’Harel, looked through the camp, read the notes, and left. They walked the path out of the camp. It was supposed to lead to a villa of some sort.

“You bored with Solas already?” Sera asked when they were out of the camp.

“What? Why?” Ellana asked.

“That Fairbang was totally coming on to you.”

“Fairbanks,” Cassandra corrected her.

“Fair bang, if he had his way.”

“I doubt it,” Ellana said, “He was just being nice in the Orlesian manner. That’s what they do.”

“The nobles, maybe, in their big castles and whatnot. Not in the woods,” Sera insisted.

“I am sure he didn’t mean anything by it,” Ellana said.

“I bet he’d wanna do the Inquisitor with the Inquisitor,” Sera said.

“Ugh. I should have known that prank would come back to bite me in the ass,” Ellana huffed, “It is difficult to forget that some people now use my title as an expression of kinky sex. It is particularly difficult when I meet the kind of diplomats, who repeat the title over and over again.”

“Perhaps they wanna go: Inquisitor, Inquisitor, Inquisitor, Inquiiiisiiiiitoooooooor,” Sera moaned and made what Ellana guessed to be sex-faces.

“The next time the two of you are going somewhere together, I will stay behind to write a report,” Cassandra stated.

“What report?” Sera asked.

“Any report.”

“That’s not fair,” Sera complained, “Varric is as bad as me. Bull is even worse.”

“She has a point, Cassandra,” Ellana said, “If you want a chaste conversation, I suggest you seek the company of Cole and… I don’t think there are more names on that list. He pretty much is the list. Well, he and Vivienne.”

“What about Solas?” Sera enquired, “Baldy doesn’t seem dirty.”

“You wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve heard him say. He can be very… Graphic.”

“Eww.”

“You asked.”

“Can we change the subject?” Cassandra begged, “Please?”

“I think we may have to cease talking altogether,” Ellana said, “I see some thugs.”

There were a couple of patrols outside the villa. Most of the resistance was holed up inside with their commander. He was a very bothersome rogue. He moved too quickly to be such a large man and he stabbed hard. When they were finally able to put him down, all of them had cuts somewhere. Fen’Harel was limping a little but Ellana managed to heal him. She had scant experience in healing animals which is why she was so satisfied that her efforts were not in vain. The wolf gave a happy bark and ran ahead of them.

Ellana was glad that the villa wasn’t bigger. They were not in the mood to get lost in a maze of rooms. Some owner had seen it proper to hide three pieces of a key around the house and to conceal a chamber in plain sight behind a hastily constructed wall. The key made out of the pieces opened a room that held all the valuables of the house.

“I do not see the point of this,” Ellana huffed in frustration, “Why would you go through all that trouble to keep things locked up? What if you need something from the vault? You will have to look for the pieces every time, then break the wall, make the key, open the door, take the thing, lock the door, fix the wall, break the key, and hide the pieces. That’s a lot of wasted time.”

“People value their possessions,” Vivienne said.

“Too much,” Cassandra stated as they exited the villa, “What now?”

“There is still time until sundown,” Ellana said, “We could take down one of the two other bases they have. The one under the fallen sister is closer. We should be able to clean that up before the night falls.”

\--

Solas had spent the day holed up in his tent, traveling the Fade. He had decided that to be more useful than worrying about Ellana. Rationally, he knew that she was all right. He knew that she led a dangerous life and that many would love to see her dead. Yet, her mortality had been forced on him by the attack at Skyhold. When he had rushed through the keep, he had feared that she was dead. Remembering that feeling made him… He didn’t quite know what to call it.

Solas had spent most of his time with Ellana during the days following the attack. He had been physically closer to her and touched her more than he used to, just to make sure that she was still there. He realized that he had been hovering but, so far, she had not called him on it. It appeared that she liked to have him around. Solas was aware that the Dalish were more affectionate than he generally was. Maybe Ellana had been longing for him to hold her more. If so, he was happy to oblige.

The sun had set when the adventurers returned to the camp. Solas went out to greet them. When Ellana was in front of him, he pulled her into a hug and kissed her. She seemed a little surprised by his suddenness but didn’t appear to disapprove, so Solas let the kiss continue longer than was strictly polite in company.

There were catcalls and whistles before Solas let Ellana go.

“And I’m happy to see you, too,” she said and grinned.

“If you come into my tent, I will show you just how happy I am,” he said.

“Later,” she replied, “First, I need some food.”

The campfire was lit and people sat around it. Ellana took a bowl into her hands and sat down on one of the seats. Solas sat next to her and began scratching Fen’Harel, who had already wolfed down his portion.

“Fairbanks and his people have made a safe haven for the refugees,” Ellana said, “They have had trouble with the Freemen of the Dales. Since the Freemen are aiding the red templars, Fairbanks suggested we helped them deal with the problem.”

“That’s not the only thing he wants with the Inquisitor,” Sera said and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “He was very pleased with her.”

Solas looked at Ellana, who blushed. Had the refugee leader said something untoward? What had made Sera think he was interested? Had he made an attempt to seduce her?

Solas looped an arm around Ellana as the story continued. He was angry with himself for getting riled up for nothing. It did not matter, if some other man was interested in Ellana. Many were. What was important was that she was, by her own choice, his. The thought calmed him down and he allowed his hand to wander downwards onto her gorgeous butt. She twitched minutely in surprise but didn’t reprimand him or show that anything peculiar was going on.

After the story had been told and Ellana had eaten, they bid the others goodnight and went into Solas’ tent. Solas was about to make good on his promise to show her how happy he had been to see her but she stopped him.

“Wait, I brought something for you,” she said and grabbed her back.

Ellana pulled out something blue and gleaming. She held it up for him so see it better.

“I found armor that will look fantastic on you,” she said with a grin, “And it’s good. You know, it has combat abilities and stuff. But that’s beside the point. The main thing is how hot you will look in it.”

“It’s Grey Warden armor,” Solas protested. He was not fond of the idea of wearing anything of theirs.

“Who gives a rat’s ass? It’s blue and it matches your eyes. And the cut will flatter your body.”

“I don’t want to be banded among the Wardens.”

“No one would think that,” Ellana said, “And it would make me very happy.”

Solas gave her a look. She was getting too good at this.

“And… When I’m happy, I tend to show it and share it with other people,” she continued.

“Oh? How do you do that?”

“I don’t know. I am open to suggestions,” she said and shrugged, “I might do that thing with my tongue. Or the one with my back. Or both.”

Solas pictured each of the things as she mentioned them. The blood had deserted his head, so it was difficult to think much else. It almost sounded like a trade worthy of accepting.

“I can see that you would not be opposed to such reimbursements,” she said.

Ellana came closer and pressed herself against him. She slid a hand down his body and caressed his erection through his clothes. Solas gulped.

“Tell you what,” she whispered huskily, “You wear it now and we can go have fantastic outdoor-sex. Against a tree, on moss, in a pond, anything you want. Everything, if you want.”

“You really want me to wear that, don’t you?”

“What gave you that idea?” Ellana gave him a sly smile and fondled him a little more. Then she pulled her hand away and Solas moaned at the loss.

“Fine.”

“Yey!” Ellana cheered and gave the armor to him.

“Everything on that list?” Solas asked as he changed hastily into the new armor.

“Everything,” Ellana promised.

They left the tent and hurried out into the darkness. The forest, and a deeply traumatized nug, witnessed some spectacular things that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you tried that armor on Solas? I personally am a huge fan...
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, and bookmarks :)


	35. Sleepfighting

”You look tired.”

Ellan gave Blackwall a small smile.

“I’m not that tired.”

“Saying that would be more convincing if you weren’t yawning,” Varric said, “I take it that you had a fun night?”

“Master Tethras, what are you implying?”

“Well,” Varric said and looked at Ellana and then at Solas, “You look like a sleepwalker and even Chuckles, who spent the whole day yesterday snoozing, seems sleepy. You don’t have to be smart to connect the dots.”

“There are many things that can keep you up all night,” Ellana said, “We could have spent the whole night knitting a cover for the dracolisk so that it won’t have to fear its own appearance anymore.”

“That’s the most credible story you could come up with?” Varric asked, “Besides, you need only to look at Chuckles to know, what the two of you have been up to. He is practically smiling.”

“That is incriminating,” Blackwall joined in.

“I’ll have you know that Solas has cracked a smile at least five times before,” Ellana stated, “There is no need to think that it was caused by some special occasion.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor,” Solas said dryly, “I could not imagine a better advocate than the famed Herald of Andraste.”

“Don’t be mad. We are simply saying that you are not the sunniest person we know. It is not a judgment on your character, it is an observation. It is the same as saying that Varric likes telling stories, that Blackwall has a strict code on conduct, and that a lot of people want to kill me,” Ellana said.

“So be it,” Solas acquiesced, “Where are we headed now?”

“The Freemen of the Dales have a fort nearby. We are going to storm it.”

“I love it when we storm a fort, just the four of us,” Varric said, “It feels like we’re doing something that shouldn’t logically be possible. Like the time Hawke took down the Arishok.”

“I am glad that I can bring happiness to my friends by leading them to kill incompetent thugs,” Ellana said, “And there are five of us – don’t forget Fen’Harel.”

“You are raining on my parade,” Varric complained.

“My apologies,” Ellana said, “You are the toughest and meanest and evilest and badassest heroes in this forest. Unless there’s a dragon, that is.”

“Badassest?”

“Heroes don’t need no diction.”

“Says the woman, who said a moment ago: ‘It is not a judgment on your character, it is an observation’,” Varric said using air quotes.

“I never said I was a hero.”

“Didn’t you release some slaves yesterday?” Blackwall asked, “Sounds like a hero to me.”

Ellana grew serious when she thought of the slaves.

“It’s the worst kind of person, who takes away the humanity of another,” she said, “I have no idea how those thugs dare call themselves ‘Freemen’ and still not allow others to be free. How do you justify that to yourself?”

“It is too easy to become blinded by power,” Solas said.

“I agree,” Blackwall said solemnly, “It happens all too often.”

“If it happens to me, I expect all of you to smack some sense into my thick head,” Ellana stated.

“We will,” Varric promised.

They found the fort of the Freemen. They needed to walk around it to get to the entrance. When the Freemen saw them coming, they retreated into the fortress.

“I have come to the point, where men run away from me,” Ellana said and sighed loudly.

“Maybe their mothers have warned them not to talk to strange women, who have glowing, green hands,” Varric suggested, “Let’s go ask them.”

One fort and several smugglers later they were roaming around aimlessly. They found good spots for camps and claimed several places for the Inquisition. Since they were in no immediate danger of being killed, Ellana was having trouble concentrating. Solas was wearing the Warden armor and looked edible in it. She had already snatched him behind a tree a couple of times for a quick make-out session. She couldn’t help it, he just looked so-

Ellana crashed against something and fell on her ass. It hadn’t felt like a tree. What had she ran into?

“Hey, guys, I found a giant,” Ellana yelled as she scrambled away from the creature’s reach. Its balled fists hit the spot, where she had been a mere moment earlier.

“That’s one way of putting it,” Varric called back, “It looked more like you sleepwalking into a giant.”

“Semantics,” Ellana replied and cast furiously.

After the giant was dead, they took a moment to rest, freshen up, and eat something. Not many people can say that they have had picnic next to a giant’s carcass, Ellana thought.

“There seem to be other giants around,” Varric said, “Maybe Blackwall should take the lead for a while so that you won’t find them, too.”

“Fine. Although, I am certain that anybody could run into a giant.”

“If you say so.”

Blackwall took the lead and the others fell into step behind him. Ellana wandered closer to Solas.

“You know why I walked into a giant?” Ellana asked Solas quietly.

“You are tired, vhenan.”

“That, too,” she admitted, “Though it was mostly the fact that I can’t keep from staring at you.”

“Is that so?” Solas asked in a playful tone, but grew then serious and continued, “You should be more careful. I do not wish to distract you. If I do, you might get hurt. Maybe it would be best if I did not wear this armor the next time I venture forth with you.”

“It’s not the armor, it’s you. Wonderful, lovely, wise you,” Ellana said and gave him a small kiss.

“Then I am distracting you?” Solas did not look pleased.

“In a good way,” Ellana assured him, “You also motivate me. Don’t be so serious about it, it is a positive thing.”

Solas nodded but seemed unconvinced. Ellana swore at herself for making him think it was his fault that she had been so scatterbrained that day. She vowed to make him think otherwise in time.

“Inquisitor,” Blackwall called out, “Are you clairvoyant?”

“Not to my knowledge,” Ellana replied, “Why?”

“There’s that dragon you mentioned.”

“The toughest and meanest and evilest and badassest creature in the forest?”

“That’s the one.”

“I like, where this is going,” Varric said.

Ellana grinned. She took a look at Solas, who seemed worried. She reached for his hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. He nodded.

“Let’s take the mother down, boys!”

“Boys?” Varric asked.

“Who’s raining on whose parade now?” Ellana asked as they charged the dragon, “I had my rallying cry down and you pick on a technicality? But fine, you are not boys. You are big, strong, sturdy men, who are going to kill that dragon at the drop of a hat.”

“Better, though not much of a rallying cry.”

“I’ll come up with a better one for the next dragon,” Ellana promised.

“You do that and I’ll write it down.”

Ellana cast fire at the dragon to test the effect. When she caught the size of the reaction, she bunched her fist into the air.

“Yes! It’s vulnerable to fire! I’ll burn it down, if you, Solas, support the others.”

The fight did not go as planned. Varric had been shooting too far away from the others to benefit from the barriers cast by Solas. The dragon caught him coming from stealth and landed a direct hit. Varric went down with a thud and a scream of pain. Solas hastened to his side to get a closer look at his injuries.

“Inquisitor, Varric is badly hurt,” Solas called out, “I will need to heal him immediately and it will take time. You will have to retain the dragon’s attention.”

“Understood,” Ellana yelled, “Hold on, Varric, Solas will fix you up. He’s good with his hands.”

“Don’t… Make… Me... Laugh… Now,” rang the strangled reply.

Ellana focused on the dragon. Blackwall was not doing well. He kept goading the dragon and attacking its legs. He was often almost stomped on. The poor man was trying to protect all of them, Ellana thought. His efforts were not wasted but they were too costly – he was running out of health potions. Just as he was grabbing the last one, the dragon reared on him. It picked him into its mouth, flailed him a couple of times, threw him away, and breathed its fire on him for good measure.

“Blackwall, are you alive?” Ellana screamed and launched a heavier assault on the dragon.

“Son of a bitch,” Blackwall swore, “I’m alive alright, but I can’t move. I must have broken something and I’m out of health potion. It’s up to you now, Inquisitor.”

\--

Solas watched in horror as Ellana stood in front of the high dragon. He considered helping her but knew that doing so would doom Varric. He was needed right where he was. That left Ellana alone. Fen’Harel was helping her, but there was only so much a wolf could do against a dragon.

Ellana cast repeatedly and with determination. She didn’t bother to dodge the dragon’s attacks. She trusted her barrier. The dragon was clearly furious that the small figure in front of it refused to die. Solas kept an eye on her potion use. She was doing well on the health potions but she was running out of lyrium potion. Solas shuddered as he saw her gulp the last one.

As Ellana was no longer able to cast as often as before, the dragon looked more at its surroundings. Solas caught the moment it noticed him and Varric. There was a new determination in its movements and it headed towards them.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Ellana screamed.

She jumped into the dragon’s way and cast a huge firewall between the beast and her defenseless friends. The spell must have taken a lot out of her, for she fell onto one knee to breathe. She had to fight to get up and continue the battle. Solas almost cried out for her to flee. He hated being powerless to help her.

The dragon was showing signs of wearing down, though not as much as Ellana. Her steps were unsteady and her casting scarce. She looked like she was considering something. Then the dragon paused for a moment in its exhaustion.

“Fen'Harel ma halam!” Ellana yelled.

She ran towards the dragon with the tip of her staff pointed at it. She stuck the sharp tip into the dragon’s throat and drew it downwards. Then she cast the Mark of the Rift while over the dragon and herself.

Solas waited. He was terrified. Time seemed to slow down.

Finally, the spirit mist of the spell vanished. The dragon was dead and Ellana was hunched next to it. It took a long time and several tries before she was able to pull herself up using Fen’Harel as support. She made her way to them.

“Is he going to be all right?” Ellana asked.

“Yes, I am almost done,” Solas said, “You were amazing, vhenan.”

“It was all in a day’s work,” she said and fell down.

\--

When Ellana gained consciousness, she saw three worried faces peering at her. She groaned and got slowly up into a sitting position.

“How long was I out?”

“Long enough to make us worry,” Varric said.

“Sorry,” Ellana said, “That fight took everything I had.”

“No wonder,” Varric commented, “You took down a high dragon by yourself!”

“Hardly. You helped most of the time.”

“We were out of the game most of the time.”

“Are you all right now?” Ellana asked and looked at Varric and then at Blackwall.

“Chuckles here is a miracle worker.”

“I agree,” Blackwall said.

“We should return to the camp before we find any more monsters,” Ellana said.

She tried to get up but her legs wouldn’t carry her, so Solas picked her up and carried her. They progressed slowly towards the camp.

“How were you able to cast so much?” Solas asked Ellana, “Where did you get all the mana?”

“Perhaps fantastic sex fuels my mana reserves?” Ellana suggested.

“Too much information, Inquisitor,” Varric said.

“Why? It ought to be said more that sex is revitalizing.”

“You are beginning to sound like Bull.”

“I still did not get sexual thrills from fighting a dragon,” Ellana said.

Ellana felt woozy and exhausted.

“Your chest is warm,” she said, “It’s very nice. You should carry me to the camp more often.”

“Are you all right?” Varric asked, “You sound a little off.”

“I’m dead tired and completely out of mana. When I’m tired, my inhibitions are lowered. It’s close to being drunk.”

“Please, Chuckles, you have to make her sleep tonight.”

“I will,” Solas stated with the air of absolute certainty.

They walked in silence for the rest of the way. Killing the dragon had been a huge accomplishment but they were all so tired that none felt like celebrating or bragging. Ellana nodded off every now and again, listening to Solas’ heartbeat.

When they reached the camp, Solas took Ellana straight into her tent. He seemed to trust the others to tell the tale. He deposited her on the bedroll and left. After some time, he returned with a bowl of food and gave it to her. Ellana thanked him and ate it. While she ate, she looked at him. He was very serious and looked to be deep in thought.

Ellana finished her meal and put the bowl away.

“Solas,” she said and he turned his attention on her, “Something you said today has been bothering me and I want to make one thing absolutely clear: You are not a distraction. You give me strength. You make me want to go on fighting – even when I feel like giving up. You make my life better.”

Solas looked into her eyes. She hoped that he saw that she truly meant every word.

“Thank you, vhenan,” he said and gave her a slow kiss, “The same goes for you. Which is why you need to go to sleep now.”

“I will,” Ellana promised and laid down, “Will I see you in the Fade?”

“If you wish.”

“Will you be naked?”

“If you wish, my lady dragonslayer.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to everyone, who knows how it feels to work in a state of sleep deprivation. Hopefully the reasons for not sleeping have been more of the so-fun-I-forgot-the-pass-of-time kind and less of the so-stressed-I-can't-sleep kind.
> 
> Thank you for reading, kudos, bookmarks, and comments :)


	36. Such A Paragon

The next morning, if you could still call it that, Ellana woke up sore and exhausted and not for the good reason. Why on Thedas did everything ache so bad? Ellana groaned and fought her body into a sitting position. Damn that blasted dragon!

Ellana held her head in her hands and opened her eyes. A big, black face was right in front of her, staring at her. She startled before realizing that it was Fen’Harel. He was sitting and wagging his tail, his pink tongue hanging from the side of his mouth. He was making a whining sound to encourage her to move on with the program already. The sound must have woken her up. Or the intensity of the stare.

Ellana petted her wolf and changed her clothes to look a bit more presentable before venturing out into the world. Changing was painful.

“Inquisitor, are you all right?” Dorian called out, “You sound like you are in pain.”

“Well done, Dorian, as a matter of fact, I am in pain,” Ellana said and exited her tent, “You’d be surprised how it feels after you have faced a high dragon one on one.”

“Taarsidath-an halsaam!”

“No, Bull, I will not bring myself sexual pleasure while thinking about that moment with respect,” Ellana said, “I will not think of that with anything else than fear and happiness for having survived. You might be amazed at this but most people are not turned on by fear. If they are, there is something seriously wrong with them.”

“Or they like really bad boys,” Dorian commented.

“Interesting,” Bull said, “Boss, what will you think while bringing yourself sexual pleasure?”

“I don’t need to bring myself sexual pleasure, I have Solas to do that for me,” Ellana said, “Why are we discussing this first thing in the morning? I have not even had breakfast yet.”

“It isn’t morning anymore,” Bull pointed out, “Most of us have been up for hours.”

“I have not. I need food.”

Ellana went to loot the camp for something to eat. After discovering some bread and pieces of fruit, she sat down to enjoy them. A few of her friends sat near her.

“Come on, Boss, spill it. How was it? How did you beat it? How did it feel to stand there, facing the dragon alone?”

Bull was clearly enthused and sorry that he had missed the fight.

“I did not have that much time for introspection, Bull,” Ellana said, “I was just trying to put the beast down before it got the chance to hurt my friends more. Varric was down, Solas was helping him, and Blackwall was thrown away. The only way to beat it was to keep going, no matter how tired I got. If I had fallen too early, the others would have paid the price.”

“Not to mention that you would have been dead,” Dorian said, “No more Herald of Andraste, no more figure of hope to rally the faithful against Corypheus. We might as well have gone home to wait for death.”

“Yeah, right,” Ellana snorted, “The Inquisition is bigger than me. Cassandra or Cullen or the happy couple together could rally the troops as well as me.”

“That’s not true,” added Varric, who had just arrived, “You don’t know, what you are to the people out there. The Herald is a symbol bigger than any of us.”

Ellana rolled her eyes at him.

“Anyway, I’m glad you killed that dragon,” Bull said and grinned, “It got me into Dorian’s bed again.”

“For crying out loud,” Ellana huffed, “If you two like each other, you do not need to wait for me to kill a dragon to spend time together.”

“There’s power in tradition,” Dorian said.

“Happy to help your sex lives, then.”

At that, Varric started laughing whole-heartedly. It went on and on. The others stared as he kept going on until his eyes watered. He dried them and took a few good breathes.

“This would be where you explain the laugh,” Ellana said, “Otherwise we start to question your sanity.”

“Start?” Dorian asked.

“I just thought that the Inquisitor, the biggest Chantry paragon since Andraste herself, is happy to assist the sex lives of her followers,” Varric explained, “You should have Ruffles make out booklets to spread this joyous message to far and wide. People would rush into the Chantry to hear about it. They could have a simple message: The Inquisitor says: ‘Make love, not war’.”

There was some laughter as Varric’s explanation got further.

“I have never in my life said those words,” Ellana defended herself, “And as much as that would work for normal circumstances, at the present we need people to make war, too. I doubt anyone would be willing to fuck Corypheus to death.”

“Depends on the meaning you are going for,” Dorian said.

“Someone would be willing to mess with him to kill him? To betray him to kill him?” Ellana asked, “I don’t see that working out so well.”

“Vhenan, you are awake,” Solas said as he joined them, “How are you feeling?”

“Like I had a dragon drop on me yesterday,” Ellana replied and gave him a kiss.

“That is a little of an exaggeration, isn’t it?” Solas asked with a twinkle in his eye, “I do not remember it dropping on you. Stepping on you, maybe.”

“You would know, wouldn’t you? Having had such a good spot for looking at the spectacle while being Varric’s knight in shining Warden armor,” Ellana said and kissed him again, “Thank you for that, by the way. I really appreciated that.”

“The armor or saving Varric’s life?”

“Both.”

“How are you, Varric?” Ellana asked the dwarf, “Still sore?”

“Some, but, other than that, I’m all right.”

“Good,” Ellana said, “Has anyone seen Blackwall today?”

“I saw him outside the camp,” Solas said, “He was training.”

“That sounds an unnatural thing to be doing after being knocked out by a dragon,” Dorian said, “Are you sure he’s human?”

“What other possibilities are there?” Ellana asked.

“Maybe there’s some mythical figure that is really into valor and stuff,” Varric suggested.

“With a beard?”

“What? You don’t like beards, Inquisitor?” Varric asked.

“I love beards. That’s why I’m seeing Solas,” Ellana said in a sarcastic tone and caressed Solas’ bare cheek, “I meant that do mythical figures ever have beards? I have trouble picturing that.”

“You’re an elf,” Varric said, “All dwarven legends have beards.”

“Even the women?” Dorian asked.

“Especially the women.”

All sat in silence for a while, probably picturing the dwarven legends.

“As crazy as this has been, we should get moving,” Ellana said and hopped up. The sudden movement made her gasp.

“Vhenan, you are in pain. You should rest,” Solas said. He sounded worried.

“I am fine. We still need to tell Fairbanks and the gang, what we have done here. It shouldn’t take too long. After that, we will return to Skyhold.”

“I will go with you, Inquisitor,” Solas stated.

“But you must be wearied from yesterday,” Ellana said and touched his arm, “You should take time to rest. As should Varric and Blackwall.”

“I wish to make sure you are feeling all right. Should your pain get worse, I will heal you,” Solas said with determination.

Ellana saw that he would not budge. He was worried for her and wanted to keep her from getting hurt more than she already was. She nodded at him and went to collect Cole and Cassandra.

\--

Solas kept glancing at Ellana as they made their way slowly towards the refugee camp. She retained a straight face but he could tell that she was still suffering from the effects of the fight, even after taking a health potion. He had considered demanding that she stay behind to rest while the others would take the news to Fairbanks, but he had decided against it. He knew that she would not have agreed. She was the Inquisitor and it was her duty. Or ‘the pain in her ass’, as she would probably put it. ‘Duty’ sounded more like Blackwall.

When they arrived at the camp, a man left the others and came to meet them. He looked eager and smiled at Ellana.

“Inquisitor, I am so happy to see you again,” he said, “I trust you have been successful on your travels?”

“It’s good to see you again, Fairbanks,” Ellana said, “The Freemen have been driven out of their lairs.”

As Ellana described the Inquisition’s dealings with the Freemen, Solas watched Fairbanks. He considered the refugee leader to be a handsome man, who was clearly paying the Inquisitor more attention than ordinary. Ellana was being polite, nothing more. Still, Solas found himself growing vexed by Fairbanks’ eagerness. He was satisfied when Ellana bid Fairbanks goodbye and went to see how the other refugees were doing.

One of the women was taken with Fairbanks and told them about the rumors about Fairbanks’ nobility. She begged them to find out some evidence to back up the rumors. If Fairbanks was a noble, she believed that he would be able to do more good for his people. Ellana promised that they would keep an eye out. Solas was curious as to why she would say so.

“I am surprised that you promised to help her,” Solas said when they had left the camp.

“I am not going to help her, I am going to help him,” Ellana said, “I will not be an accessory in forcing someone to be something they obviously do not wish to be. If Fairbanks wanted his nobility to be known, he could have found those proofs himself. He has wandered around here much more than us. The fact that he has not searched for them proves that he doesn’t want to find them. He has done a lot of good here. I think we owe it to him to get hold of those proofs before someone else does and forces him to be a noble prick.”

“Nobility is not as grand as everyone thinks,” Cassandra said.

“He is happy now. He likes to help, to be a part of the group,” Cole said and turned to Ellana, “He would be happy to see more of you.”

“If we work together, he will see me more,” Ellana said.

“Wearing less? That would make him happy,” Cole said.

Solas froze. Ellana blushed and glanced at him. Cassandra stared very pointedly at the ground.

“You didn’t like, what I said. Why is that?”

“Cole,” Ellana said carefully, “We have talked of the thoughts that you should not tell other people. Do you remember?”

“I remember. ‘You can’t just blurt out stuff like that,’ you said after I asked you in front of Sera and Varric, what it meant that ‘you were going to blow Solas as soon as you saw him’.”

Solas coughed a little. He had not heard of this. Varric and Sera must have had a tremendous amount of fun.

“That would be the time, yes,” Ellana said with a strangled voice, “Wanting to see someone naked, or even half-naked, would be among the things that people don’t want to be blurted out. If those things are ever said, they are said between lovers. Not in random company. Do you understand, what I mean?”

“I think so.”

“All right then,” Ellana said, “Let’s find the evidence, give it to the man, and scram.”

“You still want to give it to him?” Cassandra asked and added hastily, “The evidence, I mean.”

Solas looked at the blushing warrior. Either Ellana had turned another one to her way of thinking or the woman had been a closeted pervert to begin with. She did like trashy romance novels…

“Yes, I still wish to give him the evidence,” Ellana said and laughed, “You should be careful, Cassandra, you sound more like me every passing day.”

Cassandra merely grumbled. They continued their search and managed to find three pieces of evidence in plain sight. Solas was certain that Ellana had been right. If Fairbanks had wanted to be known as a noble, he would have been able to find the evidence himself.

They returned to the refugee camp and went to see Fairbanks. He had heard, what they had been doing, and was anxious to prevent them from giving any information about his birth to anyone. He didn’t want the burden of being a noble. He assured them that it would not be of help to anyone. Some people had strange dreams of what it would be like to be a noble. Fairbanks was sure that it was not worth the trouble.

When Ellana gave the evidence to Fairbanks to do with it, what he wanted, he was so happy that he grabbed her into a tight hug. Solas narrowed his eyes and moved closer. Ellana looked uncomfortable but said nothing. Fairbanks let her out of his arms but held on to her to describe how grateful he was. He started going on about how the Inquisitor should come see them once they had taken over the Freemen bases. When Fairbanks still wasn’t letting go of her, Solas gritted his teeth and thought of the things he would want to do to make the man let her go.

Cole stepped forwards and tapped the man on the shoulder.

“I think you should let go of her,” he said, “She is uncomfortable and she doesn’t want him to hurt you.”

Fairbanks looked confused but let Ellana go. She took a step away from him, though she didn’t let her expression betray her feelings, whatever they were. She began to say her goodbyes and told him to keep in touch via messengers. Solas closed the distance between them, put an arm around Ellana’s waist, and pulled her closer. He did not usually show her affection, when they were around others than their friends, but he wanted Fairbanks to keep his hands off her. He also knew that he was less likely to do something violent to the man if he focused on Ellana’s warm body pressed tightly against his own. Solas glared at Fairbanks’ shrinking smile and pulled Ellana a little closer.

They left the refugees and headed towards their own camp.

“Do we need to discuss, what just happened?” Ellana asked him so silently that the others didn’t hear.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, he made me uncomfortable,” Ellana said, “I should thank Cole for interfering. It felt like he was a moment away from grabbing my ass.”

Solas’ anger flared again.

“He had no right to do that,” he said, “He had no right to touch you as he did without your consent.”

“I agree,” Ellana said, “I should have said something.”

“You are too nice to have said something,” Solas pointed out. He knew her enough to know that was the case.

“How do you say politely: ‘get your fucking hands off me, you slimy asshole’?”

“Do you need to be polite even when someone isn’t being polite to you?”

“You are,” she stated.

Solas smiled at her. She was right. He tended to be polite unless he was angry.

“If that had happened to one of your friends and not you, you would have done something,” he said.

“Probably,” Ellana admitted, “It is much easier to get angry on someone else’s behalf.”

“You are a good person, vhenan.”

“I am grateful that you didn’t hurt him,” Ellana said, “He will be a useful ally and he has done a lot of good here. Having his arm broken would have hindered his work.”

“How grateful?” Solas asked with a raised eyebrow and a devious smile.

Ellana stood still and looked around.

“You want to go traumatize some wildlife before we leave for Skyhold?”

Solas pulled her into a kiss and they stumbled away from the path, into the underbrush. The poor, traumatized nug was again in the wrong place at the wrong time. It would never recover, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Make love, not war" was the rallying cry of the hippies, but you knew that already.
> 
> I find it somewhat amusing that the Inquisitor is supposedly the leading figure of the Chantry all throughout the game (and probably even after they get a divine). I have a feeling that very few play careers while thinking "is this what the leader of a religious organization would do?"
> 
> Thanks for reading and feedback!


	37. Burn, Baby, Burn

”So, this is Sahrnia,” Ellana said, ”Why would anyone live here?”

“Didn’t you live in the woods?” Varric asked.

“Better to live in the woods than in ruins,” Ellana replied, “I mean – look at this place.”

“It is sad,” Cole said.

“My thoughts exactly,” Ellana agreed, “Not to mention that the Quarry is run by the red templars. Why haven’t these people moved away? Why stay and die when you could leave and live?”

“People get rooted in places,” Blackwall pondered, “When that happens, it’s hard to leave your life behind.”

“I think it is extremely easy to leave your life behind. It’s called dying. And it happens when these people meet the red templars,” Ellana stated grimly, “They should have left when the river froze. They should already have been gone by the time the red templars arrived. Why are they still here to be taken by the templars?”

“You could ask them,” Varric said.

“I could knock some sense into them,” Ellana huffed.

Visiting the village did them no good. People had not returned from the Quarry; surprise, surprise. Near the edge of the village there was a Chevalier, who told them that a powerful demon was working with the red templars. The Chevalier was sworn to kill the demon because he believed himself at fault for the demon being there in the first place. He didn’t explain, why he was to blame. Ellana promised to help him after they dealt with the abductions. Missing people were more important than a demon buddying up with the red templars.

Ellana and her friends advanced through the area. They took out the outposts of the red templars and turned them into Inquisition camps.

“These cages do not bode well,” Ellana said at one of the outposts.

“I disagree,” Blackwall said, “They mean that at least some of the villagers may still be alive.”

“I hope you are correct,” Ellana said, “Varric, are you all right? You have been very quiet.”

“Yeah, it’s all this red lyrium. I hate the stuff. It makes me crazy. Hell, it makes everyone crazy. I just want it gone,” Varric said and shot a crystal to emphasize his point.

“You hear it?” Cole asked, “Don’t listen.”

“That’s good advice, kid.”

After some searching, they found the entrance to the Quarry. They found a group of red templars, who were holding some miners in a cage. When the Templars had fallen, Cole opened the cage and Ellana went through the paperwork.

“These bastards were making red lyrium out of people?!” Ellana yelled and punched her fist at the nearest surface.

“What? Let me see that,” Varric said and held his hand out for the paper Ellana was holding. She gave it to him and practically growled while he read it.

“Shit.”

Ellana gritted her teeth. How could anyone, even anyone loony enough to follow Corypheus, do anything like this? Didn’t they have any humanity in them? No soul? She was so angry she was seeing red. It was time she made those monsters stop. Permanently. They were beyond redemption now. She would not feel sorry for killing them. Not one bit.

Ellana marched onwards following the path.

“Inquisitor, you are on fire,” Varric said.

“You bet I am on fire,” Ellana said in fury, “I will burn those red fuckers to make sure they will never hurt anyone again.”

“I meant it literally.”

Ellana looked about and noticed that she was surrounded by flames. They engulfed her body like a burning barrier. She could feel no heat but there were occasional scorch marks, where she had passed.

“So it seems,” Ellana replied, “That’s new.”

“You don’t want to, say, ask some other mage about it?” Varric offered.

“You wish me to engage in an academic discussion about magical fire instead of freeing the people, who are being turned into red lyrium crystals?”

“When you put it like that…”

When they found another group of templars and their captives, Ellana didn’t hold back. She ran into the middle of the group, cast a spell to make her opponents stand still, and burned them. It was very effective. Cole opened the cage and let the poor people out. Then they did it again and again until every group of templars was burned and every imprisoned villager was free. It was already getting dark, when they returned to the camp. Ellana’s fiery glow was fading but she was still pretty fired up.

“Inquisitor, are you coming?” Blackwall asked at the edge of the camp.

“You go ahead,” Ellana said, “Fen’Harel and I need to take a little stroll. I am still too angry to sit quietly.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Varric told her.

“Like what?”

“I’m not going to give you ideas.”

Varric and Blackwall went to the camp and Ellana turned to leave.

“Can I come with you?”

Ellana looked at Cole over her shoulder.

“If you want to.”

They walked in silence onto the broken brigde. Cole sat down on the railing and Fen’Harel came to rest next to him. They watched Ellana, who stood at the edge and began casting. She cast fire at the empty air time and time again and muttered her frustration out in Elven.

“You can’t fix everyone,” Cole said.

“I know. It doesn’t keep me from wanting to, though.”

Simple spells were not doing the trick, so Ellana decided to try something bigger. She knew that there was such a thing as a firestorm. She was aware of the theory behind it, although she had never tried. This was as good a time as any, she thought.

Ellana went through the spell in her head. She would have to make it small to test it out. If something went awry, she could fix it by herself if she kept it small. She focused and began. The storm started from a point from which it grew into a ball of flying flames. Ellana could feel the spell eating her anger and frustration, so she maintained it. She watched the flaming shape. It was beautiful. It colored the night with its glow and created shadows.

Ellana didn’t stop until she was able to smile at the storm. Then she let it die down slowly and disappear out of sight.

“You made yourself feel better again,” Cole said, “You are good at that.”

“When you have no one to cuddle you and keep a lid on your emotions, you learn to do it yourself,” Ellana said, still staring into the emptiness, “It’s called ‘self-sufficiency’, or ‘growing the fuck up’.”

“If I ever come across your clan, Inquisitor, I will not be polite.”

Ellana turned around and saw Solas, Vivienne, and Dorian, who had just spoken. They walked closer to her and Dorian gave her a hug.

“Why is that, Dorian?” Ellana asked. He didn’t reply; he simply hugged her tighter before letting her go.

“All that hurt, pent up inside. What did they do? How could they do it?” Cole said, citing someone else’s thoughts.

“Please, don’t waste your time feeling sorry for me. There are people with worse lots than mine. Besides, I have you guys. Most of the time I’m happy,” Ellana said and, after looking into Solas’ eyes, added, “Very happy. Except for, when we run into scum that has no appreciation for the lives of others.”

“Which, sadly, happens all the time,” Dorian pointed out.

“Sad, but true,” Ellana admitted, “I am wondering why the three of you suddenly determined to go out into the night for light exercise.”

“Master Tethras told us that something peculiar happened during your outing. He asked us to lend you our magical expertise,” Vivienne explained.

“Varric was worried over nothing. I got so angry that a sort of flaming barrier surrounded me like a whole body halo,” Ellana said, “It went away when I worked the anger out.”

“I have never seen anything like that,“ Dorian said.

“I remember hearing it described by a scholar, once,” Vivienne said, “He talked about it like it had happened in ancient times.”

“Of course he did,” Ellana said and raised her hand to cover her face, “Around the same time some bloody idiots stormed the Golden City, I bet.”

“He did not specify the time.”

“Tell you what: the next time it happens, you can all go nuts and study it, while I kill the monsters, how about that?”

“I think Madame Enchanter and I will help kill the monsters and leave Solas to stare you,” Dorian said with a chuckle, “When he does it then, he can call it ‘academic interest’.”

“I am right here, Dorian,” Solas said.

“He can already call it ‘academic interest’, Dorian, because of the mark,” Ellana said, “Any academic worth their salt should be intrigued by my crazy hand. Have you not seen Dagna fuss over it?”

“I am still right here,” Solas repeated.

“Dagna fusses over anything magical,” Dorian pointed out, “She went on and on about researching red lyrium. Solas, on the other hand, is not the fussing type.”

“Do I need to reiterate my previous statement concerning my physical presence?” Solas asked.

“See? That was a very academic sort of thing to say,” Ellana said and addressed Solas, “No, lethallin, we are aware of your physical presence. I, for one, have been unable to keep my eyes off your physical presence for some time.”

“This is when I leave,” Vivienne said, “Goodnight.”

“I will leave you two to your studies,” Dorian said with a wink, “Goodnight, scholars.”

The other two mages left Solas and Ellana alone with Fen’Harel. Cole had disappeared at some point.

“Your firestorm was impressive, vhenan,” Solas said and pulled Ellana into a hug.

“Thank you. I made it to work at my anger and it fulfilled its purpose beautifully. Did Varric tell you, what those fuckers were doing in the Quarry?”

“Yes. You saved their prisoners from a terrible fate.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t make it here sooner. Only finding those notes on the smugglers let us know that this was, where the red templars were getting their lyrium from.”

“I know.”

They stared at the sky for a while longer. Then they returned to the camp, settled into Ellana’s tent and fell asleep while holding each other.

\--

“What do we know about this demon?” Dorian asked.

“The Chevalier said that it calls itself Imshael. It, or he, is a powerful desire demon and has been co-operating with the red templars,” Ellana replied, “To be honest, I am curious to meet a male desire demon. I have never seen one before, only the females. I am expecting some eye candy.”

“Your hedge mage doesn’t mind you leering at a hot desire demon?” Dorian inquired.

“I won’t be leering. Besides, I don’t have to desire you to admire your appearance,” Ellana said.

“Well, everyone admires me, so it is to be expected.”

“I especially admire your modesty.”

“Not to interrupt, Boss, but I think that guy needs our help,” Bull said and pointed at the castle gates.

The Chevalier from the previous day was getting his ass kicked by the red templars. Ellana and the others hurried to help him and were able to defeat the opponents in the nick of time. The Chevalier had taken such a beating that he was of no use anymore, so he left.

“I think there was a time, when it took more than four people and one wolf to storm a castle,” Ellana said as they, once again, stormed a castle.

“Are you saying that evil henchmen are not, what they used to be?” Dorian asked.

“Something like that.”

“Seems you got your wish, Boss,” Bull said, “They have a guard giant.”

“Wait, what?”

Ellana looked ahead and saw, what Bull was referring to. It really was a giant and it was picking up a rock, supposedly to hurl at them.

“Who has a guard giant?”

“The red templars,” Cole said and vanished with a puff of smoke.

“You ask a stupid question…” Ellana muttered and continued with more volume, “I can try to create a personal firestorm for the giant, just for shits and giggles. Can you keep it distracted while I cast, please? It needs to remain still for the storm to work.”

“Go nuts,” Bull said and charged the giant.

Once Ellana got the storm going, it worked even better than she had hoped. The giant was consumed in no time.

“That’s a good trick,” Bull commented, “I hope you can do it again. I doubt they’d be happy with just one giant.”

Bull was right. There was another giant further on in the castle. It had a posse of red templars that kept Bull, Dorian, and Cole busy. Fen’Harel did a good job maintaining the giant’s attention while Ellana cast another firestorm. It wasn’t easy, but they made it into the heart of the castle to confront Imshael.

“What is this?” Ellana asked, “Are you supposed to be the desire demon?”

“Choice. Spirit.” Imshael said.

“This must be some sort of a scam,” Ellana huffed, “The female desire demons are hot. They have big tits and a nice ass and they look good, isn’t that right, Bull?”

“Yeah, Boss, they’re hot.”

“Excuse me,” Imshael said.

“So, what’s with this Plain Dwayne?” Ellana went on, “Even his body isn’t that nice. Or what do you think, Dorian?”

“I’m with you, Inquisitor,” Dorian replied, “The desire demons I have met have been far superior.”

“Excuse me,” Imshael said again, this time louder.

“I think it wants to talk to you,” Cole said to Ellana.

“Yes, what is it?” Ellana asked Imshael.

“Now you are listening to me? Right,” Imshael said and cleared his throat, “We don’t have to fight. We can come to an understanding. If you leave me be, I will grant you whatever you wish – power, money, virgins.”

“Virgins? Seriously?” Dorian asked, “Who would want those?”

“Most people, actually,” the demon said.

“So people come to challenge a demon and ask for virgins?” Ellana asked, “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Choice. Spirit.” Imshael insisted.

“I know. Virgins are such a let-down. They have no idea, what they are doing, and everything is over way too fast,” Dorian commented.

“Can we just kill the damn demon now?” Bull asked.

“Choice! Spirit!”

“Oh, sure, let’s.”

Imshael had a lot of friends but, eventually, all laid dead on the castle floor. Ellana and her team found a nigh-dead red templar, who explained that Imshael had been helping the red templars, tending their garden of red lyrium, so to speak. After the templar died, Ellana claimed the castle for the Inquisition. It was time to return to Skyhold to rest for a smile. The thought made Ellana smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I often find myself humming "burn, baby, burn" (Disco Inferno), when I play mages.


	38. Serious Inquisition Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I'be been busy plus I really hate playing the Hissing Wastes (so it was much more preferable to just play ME3 multiplayer instead...)

”Oh, Inquisitor, what have you bought now?” Varric asked.

“Isn’t he gorgeous?” Ellana asked and cooed at her new requisition, “Who’s a good boy then? Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy, yes, you are.”

“Did you not learn anything from the Dracolisk incident?” Dorian asked.

“It’s not the same,” Ellana said, “This widdle guy is so much cuter than the Dracolisk.”

“If you think that’s little, my respect for Solas just tripled,” Bull said.

Sera snorted.

“At least that thing doesn’t look like it’s inside out,” she said.

“How did you even get a nug that big?” Varric asked, “Do you have a secret laboratory you haven’t told us about?”

“Do you remember the last time we went to Val Royaux?” Ellana asked, “There was this one shop that had a really annoying shopkeeper, who only had one ware, a single box. He was really snooty about it, said that it was far too expensive for me and that I was getting his floor dirty. So I, of course, bought the box. It contained the necessary lure to get this widdle guy.”

The gathered company looked at the widdle nug. It was twice as wide as a horse.

“Are you really going to ride that thing?” Blackwall asked.

“Why not? He’s so wide I will hardly need a saddle to stay on.”

“He needs a name,” said Cole, who was petting the nug, “What will you call him?”

“Augustine,” Ellana said.

Dorian made a choking sound.

“As in Augustine? Of Tevinter?”

“Yes, that Augustine.”

“How do you even know about him?” Dorian asked.

“I came across with translations of some of his writings. I enjoyed them. He seemed like a funny man.”

“That’s one way of putting it, I guess,” Dorian said, “He thought practically everything to be morally reprehensible. And about sex.”

“I know. I found it amusing.”

“You are one strange woman, my friend,” Dorian said and shook his head.

“Anyhow,” Varric said, “No one is going to take you seriously if you ride into battle on that.”

“I thought you wanted me to get a pet nug,” Ellana said.

“When was this?” Varric inquired.

“When I had just gotten Fen’Harel.”

“Oh, right,” Varric said, “I didn’t mean this.”

“You have to admit that Augustine is definitely something else than a regular boring nug,” Ellana said, “Augustine has it all – size, character, charisma. He will be unconquerable on the battle field. Think about it: the bad guys will just freeze to stare and Augustine can take advantage of that and run over them.”

“That’s one strategy,” Bull said.

“Inquisitor,” Cullen called out, “I have some news.”

Ellana and the others turned towards the approaching warrior. As soon as Cullen reached them, he blurted out that they had found Samson’s lair. The red templars had set camp in an old Shrine of Dumas. Cullen asked that they leave at once to catch Samson unawares. Ellana agreed. She gathered her team and told them, what was happening. They prepared their mounts and took off.

\--

“Why is it that a shrine looks like a castle?” Ellana asked, “Is it not supposed to be a place of worship? Were the followers of Dumat waiting for an assault by the followers of some other deity?”

“Maybe they took their worshiping very seriously?” Varric suggested, “Besides, elven shrines aren’t any less castle-like.”

“Point taken,” Ellana admitted, “I still think it’s weird, though. It seems to me that worship should be a peaceful activity, not something that requires elements of war.”

“People are brutal, my dear,” Vivienne said, “Religion, like war, speaks to the essence of a person. If there was not some element of controlled violence, people would not have a basic need satisfied.”

“What Samson and his people are doing here has nothing to do with religion,” Cullen said.

“I am not so sure, Cullen. Corypheus does aspire to godhood and these are his followers,” Ellana pointed out, “That sounds like a religion to me.”

“I don’t see Samson,” Cassandra said, “It’s too quiet here.”

“I agree,” Cullen said, “I hope they haven’t abandoned this place.”

“How could they? They went through the trouble of decorating the castle and everything,” Varric said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“They didn’t put much thought into their emblem, did they?” Ellana said, “They just changed the colors.”

“Maybe they were lacking a decent public relations person,” Varric said.

“We are lucky to have you,” Ellana said, “I doubt anyone has written porn about Corypheus and his ex.”

Cassandra made a face.

“I hope not.”

They killed the guards on the yard and moved into the building. It was big and majestic but had much less inhabitants than the headquarters of the red templars should have.

“Why don’t we have a gaping pit of fire in the middle of Skyhold?” Ellana asked as they found the one in the Shrine.

“Because drunken idiots would keep falling into it?” Varric suggested.

“True enough,” Ellana admitted, “Samson must have been running a more disciplined operation than the Inquisition.”

“That’s a sad statement,” Varric said.

“Templars are disciplined by necessity,” Cullen pointed out, “A lax templar is a dead templar.”

“That is not true,” Ellana said, “There are natural remedies for that. There is no need to give up hope of someday being something besides lax.”

Varric burst out laughing, Cassandra shook her head, and Cullen blushed. Vivienne didn’t react.

“Let’s proceed, shall we?” Cullen said.

They found the inner sanctum of the Shrine and, in it, a dying Tranquil.

“Maddox!” Cullen yelled and hared to the man’s side.

Maddox explained that he was dying by his own hand, having drunk his entire supply of Blightcap essence. He and the others had burned down the shrine in order to help Samson escape. It didn’t take long for the end to come to the poor man.

When Maddox was dead, Ellana and her friends searched the shrine for things that had survived the fire. They found some bits and pieces and packed them up to take them to Dagna. She would be thrilled.

They mounted in silence and headed back to Skyhold.

“How are you feeling, Cullen?” Ellana asked.

“It bothers me that we didn’t get Samson,” the commander admitted, “But he had to flee. He lost his stronghold and a lot of good men. We have struck a blow against him. It may turn out to be even bigger once we get those things to Dagna.”

“I agree. We may not have gotten Samson but we forced him to go on the run,” Ellana said, “I’m sorry about Maddox.”

“So am I,” Cullen said, “He was a good man. He didn’t deserve, what happened to him.”

“I know.”

Very few people truly deserve, what happens to them, Ellana thought. Mostly shit just happens and you have to live with it. Cole would agree, though he would not put it quite like that.

\--

“That is fascinating, Inquisitor. And what a lovely garden you have. It must be such a comfort to walk here after all those exiting battles.”

Ellana tried to smile but she knew she was failing. She was still uncertain of how Josephine had coaxed her into playing nice with the visiting nobles. The ambassador was capable of handling these things on her own. She was much better at it, in fact. Ellana always ran out of patience in a few minutes and spent the rest of the time trying not to insult the people she was supposed to be impressing.

“It must be,” she said.

“What is your favorite thing about the garden?”

Ellana made an effort not to huff. They could have asked her a thousand things about the Inquisition or Corypheus or the rifts or what was being done to stop the madness that was going on, but, oh, no, the airheads wanted to know about her garden.

“My favorite thing? I would have to say: the mummified spiders we use to grow the mushrooms,” she said.

That got a reaction out of the nobles. Some seemed disgusted, some were interested, and one looked like she was about to faint.

“It is so good to see them dead,” Ellana continued, “Considering the amount of trouble they can give us when they spit poison at us in dark, gloomy caves. I cannot tell you how annoying it is to walk into a cave and have something sticky shot at you.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad to me,” one of the nobles said in a low voice that was only heard by the people near her.

Ellana grinned at the woman. It seemed that the all members of nobility were not entirely devoid of humor.

“What was your latest venture like?”

“We raided an old Shrine of Dumat,” Ellana said, “The red templars had used it as a base of operations but they had deserted it before we arrived. There were only few of them left, mostly the ones that don’t even look human anymore. We found a Tranquil committing suicide to help a madman.”

“Mages will do anything to- -“ one of them began, but ceased as Ellana coughed to remind them that they were in the presence of a mage.

“Is that a dog?”

“No, this is a wolf,” Ellana said and petted the creature, “His name is Fen’Harel. His pack was pestered by a demon, so we had to kill them. He alone survived and I took him with me. He has saved my life many times since then.”

“Is it true that you have a giant nug as a mount?”

“Yes, it is true. His name is Augustine.”

And on and on. Ellana considered simply turning and running away. What could they do to her if she did it? She knew that the Inquisition needed the money the nobles were likely to provide if they liked, what they saw. It didn’t make it any more fun to answer their inane questions. She had had enough.

“I am sorry but I have to go to confer with my magical advisor concerning an up-coming mission. I will leave you to the capable hands of our ambassador. I do hope you will enjoy your stay.”

Ellana retreated hastily into the main hall and continued into the rotunda. She looked around.

“Are you looking for something in particular?” Solas asked.

“Yes,” she answered, “Something to hide behind. This room needs more furniture for that purpose.”

Solas chuckled.

“I take it that you have not enjoyed your time with our guests.”

“What is your favorite color? Did you always know you wanted to become Inquisitor? How do you like being a mage? Would you sign my hat? Can you turn into a nug? Have you considered having multiple bedmates at the same time? How many more questions will it take for you to go insane?”

“They actually asked about…”

“Yes.”

“What did you say?”

“I said: ‘the Dalish have a saying: Dirthara-ma’.”

Solas smiled at her. He didn’t seem bothered that she had cursed them.

“I see,” he said, “Where are we going next?”

Ellana grimaced. She would rather not be reminded about it.

\--

“My dear friends, I welcome you to the Hissing Wastes,” Ellana said, “As Scout Harding tells me, there is nothing here but sand and dwarven ruins and red templars.”

“Sorry, Inquisitor, I must have sand in my ears,” Varric said, “Did you say dwarven ruins?”

“Not just dwarven ruins, but dwarven ruins on the surface.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Neither does my life but, alas, here we are,” Ellana stated.

Solas looked at the desolate scenery. It looked forbidding. There were a few fires here and there to be seen in between the rocks. There was a mountain of a peculiar shape in the distance. Other than that, there was only sand as far as the eye could see. A glimpse at their companions informed him that absolutely no one was thrilled to go out and explore the Wastes.

“This does not need to be boring if we do not let it,” Ellana said. She must have remarked upon the same thing as Solas had.

“Look at it,” Sera said, “How’s that not boring? It’s nothing but boring!”

“I say we make this fun,” Ellana said, “Bull, Varric, and Sera, please come with me and Fen’Harel.”

“Why us?” Sera grumbled.

“Because we are going to have so much fun,” Ellana said, “We are going to tell the worst jokes and dirtiest stories ever and no one is going to give us grief about it. We might kill some red templars and find some dwarven treasures while we’re at it.”

Sera visibly perked up at Ellana’s suggestion. Varric and Bull also seemed to like the thought.

“You’re on, Boss,” Bull grinned.

The four of them mounted and rode off. The others found something to do in the camp.

Solas would have liked to go with Ellana but he was not sad to miss out on wandering around the desert. He went into his tent and settled onto his bedroll. He closed his eyes and entered the Fade. He looked into the memories that had stuck around in the Wastes. They were not varied. Mostly they were just as boring as the scenery itself. As he watched them, his mind began to wander.

“You should tell her.”

Solas looked at Cole, who had appeared next to him. Solas didn’t need to ask, what the spirit was talking about. Cole had commented on his thoughts.

“I do not wish to hurt her.”

“She likes the truth.”

“Exactly,” Solas said, “How do you think it would make her feel when she finds out that I have been lying to her?”

“You have not lied,” Cole said, “Not telling is not lying.”

“Lying by omission, then.”

“She would understand.”

“You don’t know that, Cole.”

“You should tell her.”

“Knowing will not help her defeat Corypheus,” Solas said.

“People like to know things about the people they love,” Cole said, “She loves you. She wants to know more but she doesn’t want to push.”

Solas knew the spirit was right. Ellana was a considerate person. She would not make him tell anything he was not ready to tell. She had been patient and let him get used to the idea of sharing his life in his own pace. Solas would have told Ellana the truth if there wasn’t so much at stake. If he had cared less, maybe he would have confided in her. But he didn’t want to lose her. He didn’t want to see her love turn into hate or disapproval. Hence, whenever he had felt guilty for not being honest, he had allowed himself to be buried into her love and forget everything else. How could he think of anything else, when he was holding her, or talking with her, or simply looking into her eyes? He could not.

Solas woke up. He went out to see if the travelers had returned. They had not, even though the night had already fallen. Solas deduced that they had opted to spend the night at another Inquisition camp. He ate with the others and talked with a couple of them. Then he went back into his tent and returned to the Fade.

Solas found Ellana and entered her dream. She was in the Emerald Graves, sitting in a tree.

“Vhenan,” Solas called her.

Ellana turned her face to him and smiled her most beautiful smile, the one that said plainly that she loved him. Solas climbed up to join her. She made some room for him on the branch. As he settled down, she repositioned herself so that she sat in his lap and rested her back against his chest.

“How was your day?” Solas asked.

“We had a lot of fun,” Ellana said, “You wouldn’t believe the jokes we told. Or the stories. Bull can make even Sera blush, which is quite a notch on his belt.”

“Did you find the ruins?”

“And riddles. I hate riddles. I should have taken you with us to solve them. Or to look pretty. You are so good at that.”

Solas chuckled at her and kissed her ear.

“It would have been my pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are several references:  
> \- Thanks to StealthSister for informing me about the possibility of getting a giant nug (and how to go about it). I'd had no idea. Also, she challenged me to use "hare" as a verb and include it into the chapter.  
> \- Augustine is Augustine of Hippo (354-430), who wrote in Latin, which is why I stuck him in Tevinter. What Dorian says about him is approximately accurate.  
> \- Vivienne's comment on the controlled violence in religion refers to a study by Mark Juergensmeyer that I read a few months ago.
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, comments, and bookmarks :)


	39. It Will Never Happen Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halam'shivanas: The sweet sacrifice of duty (Says Dragon Age Wiki)

Ellana turned on the bedroll in an attempt to fall asleep. So far sleep had evaded her. There was too much riding on the next day, too much at stake. They had arrived at the Arbor Wilds just before dark. The grand fight to reach the Eluvian before Corypheus was ahead of them. The troops of the Inquisition and those of their allies were all gathered together to defeat the self-proclaimed god. 

All the people assembled outside expected Ellana to lead them into victory. What if she didn’t? What if something went wrong? What if there was another attack? What if Corypheus had some trick up his sleeve? Well, a metaphorical one, since the creep didn’t wear a shirt. What would the others do when Ellana was at the frontline with her group?

Ellana realized that she would need to leave some of her friends behind as a safeguard. She needed someone, who could best deal with Corypheus’ magical bullshit, if need be. They could take over if something happened to her. They could make sure the Inquisition did not fail, even if she did.

Ellana sighed. She knew she had to leave Solas behind. If she died, he would be needed. He had the power and the knowledge the Inquisition would need to kill Corypheus. Cassandra and Cullen could lead the troops but they would need a skilled and knowledgeable mage to help them. Solas was a rift mage. He was the obvious choice. Ellana just hoped that he would see it, too.

Ellana got out of bed and put some more clothes on. She told Fen’Harel to stay and sleep. She left her tent silently and made her way into the one belonging to Solas. As she went in, she found him sitting on his bedroll, reading. Solas looked up and smiled.

“I take it that you missed me,” he said.

“Of course I did,” she answered and sat next to him, “Though that is not the only reason for this particular visit.”

Solas put his book away and focused on Ellana.

“You know I may die tomorrow,” Ellana said.

“Vhenan…”

“You know it is true and you are not the kind of person to deny an uncomfortable fact,” Ellana said, “I may die tomorrow and Corypheus may survive. If this happens, the Inquisition will need a mage’s help and guidance to take the bastard down. They will need your help. Which is why I need you to stay behind tomorrow, when I go to meet Corypheus head on.”

“No,” Solas said and shook his head, “Please, vhenan, do not ask this of me. I do not wish to stay behind, while you go into the most dangerous battle of your life. I want to, I need to, fight at your side.”

“I want that as much as you do, trust me,” Ellana said, “But the Inquisition will need you if I die. Vivienne and Dorian are powerful and knowledgeable but you are the expert on the Fade and the rifts. The Inquisition needs you more. You are irreplaceable, my dearest.”

“As are you, vhenan. I would be much more useful keeping you alive than staying back in order to prepare for your death.”

“Halam'shivanas,” Ellana said, “Doing the right thing is a bitch sometimes.”

“If this is what you need of me, vhenan…” Solas said, though he did not seem pleased.

“It is.”

“Then I will do it.”

“Thank you, Solas. I know it will not be easy.”

“Promise me that you will try to safeguard your life.”

“To the best of my ability and within the limits of my morality,” Ellana promised.

“Is that the best I am going to get?”

“Yes, it is,” Ellana said, “You should keep in mind, though, that I will work hard to come back to you. I want more time with you. That will keep me going.”

At that, Solas smiled and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

“I will have to make you abundantly motivated to come back to me, then,” he said and maneuvered them so that Ellana was on her back and he was on top of her. He proceeded to make good on his promise.

\--

“I have trouble believing I just saw the empress in the woods,” Ellana said, “I assumed she would pop out of existence if she left the castle.”

“Why would you think that?” Blackwall asked.

“You have seen her, have you not? With the clothes and the hair and the makeup and the ridiculous gestures?” Ellana inquired, “None of those belong in a forest.”

“Clothes don’t belong in a forest?” Cole asked. He seemed confused.

“That depends on how much fun you are having,” Ellana said.

“Or what shape you are in,” Morrigan offered.

“That, too,” Ellana admitted, “But what I meant was that silly dresses do not belong in the woods. Neither does anything else she was wearing or doing. Or her, for that matter.”

“But there she was, in her mask and ballgown,” Dorian said.

“The empress is here to support her troops,” Blackwall defended her, “It boosts the morale when the people see their leaders standing with them.”

“She isn’t really doing that, is she? She is standing in the back in a dress, while her people go out there to get killed,” Dorian pointed out, “Standing with one’s people is, what the Inquisitor is doing.”

“To be fair, Celene isn’t probably skilled in battle,” Ellana said, “If she went to the frontlines, her army would be too busy keeping her alive to actually fight the enemy.”

“There is a reason the soldiers are not calling out her name, when they run into battle,” Dorian said, “They yell yours.”

“Yippee,” Ellana said unenthusiastically.

The conversation was cut short by the appearance of the enemy. The red templars had fallen on the Arbor Wilds in hoards. They had set up blockades along the path to the temple of Mythal that was their destination.

In between fights, Ellana paid attention to their surroundings. They were filled with greenery and varied colors. She sighed.

“Only an ass like Corypheus looks at a place like this and says: ‘I will make this into a battleground’,” Ellana huffed.

“We knew that he was all kinds of fucked up,” Dorian remarked, “He wants to turn the whole world into a red lyrium nightmare. Spoiling a beautiful forest seems like the least of his crimes.”

“Bespoiling a forest is never a minor offence,” Morrigan said.

“This forest has seen blood before,” Blackwall said, “Why do you think it is so lush? The plants have been well-nourished.”

“Thank you for that image,” Dorian said.

They found more things to kill. This fight included another group of adversaries besides the red templars and their few remaining Warden toadies. The new opponents were elves. And not just any elves but swift and deadly ones in strange golden armor. They were fighting both the red templars and the Inquisition.

“These elves want us dead!” Cole yelled.

“You don’t say,” Dorian yelled back, “And here I thought they were just trying to induce us to buy their ‘amazing, never seen the like’ daggers, like the salesmen back home.”

“This is much more of a hands-on presentation than I would have wanted,” Blackwall called out.

“Maybe he wanted to show you, how your blood glistens on the flawless blade,” Dorian suggested.

“Remind me never to go shopping in Tevinter,” Ellana shouted.

When the fight was over, Ellana bent down to take a closer look at one of the elves. He was wearing the same vallaslin as her. His skin was greenish for some reason and he was wiry, though not without muscle. Could he be an inhabitant of the temple? The vallaslin dedicated him to Mythal, after all. Ellana was curious but she had more important things to deal with. Maybe she would find out later.

Reaching the temple was no easy task but they managed it. At the gates, they saw more of the strange elves and Corypheus and his crew standing opposite each other. Corypheus was grandstanding and the elves were trying to deny him entry to the Well of Sorrows, whatever that was. When the magister tried to go further, he was caught in a beam that tore him apart. The elves escaped into the temple, the red templars and Samson at their heels. Ellana and the others followed them.

Ellana’s joy of Corypheus’ defeat was short-lived. A Warden started to contort in an unnatural way and turned into Corypheus. In the temple, Morrigan explained that Archdemons had the same ability. After they found the Well of Sorrows, they would have to find a way to kill Corypheus permanently.

Samson and his templars went into the temple through a hole in the floor. Morrigan suggested that they should take another route, one that would follow the traditions of the temple. Ellana agreed and they went through the petitioner’s path. Ellana hated riddles like the ones they had to face, so she questioned Morrigan on the differing accounts of Mythal to pass the time, while she performed the tasks. She found the information interesting. Some of it she was already familiar with, some was brand new.

“I know this has nothing to do with anything but I have to ask – is your choice of clothing a statement?” Ellana asked.

Morrigan laughed.

“’Tis a weapon, Inquisitor,” she replied, “Or two, in fact. If you asked, how many times my shirt, or the lack of, has saved my life, I could not tell you.”

“I don’t understand,” Cole said, “It doesn’t protect you at all. How could it save your life?”

“You should ask Varric,” Blackwall said, “Or Bull.”

“I’ll ask Bull. He doesn’t wear a shirt either.”

“That is because he cannot get one on,” Dorian said, “Plus, I think he likes the harness.”

“You do,” Cole said.

“We are being watched,” Ellana said.

They were surrounded by the golden elves.

\--

Ellana reached the Inquisition camp as an owl, turned back into her elven form, and landed ungracefully. She had had a very long day and most of the night. She found one of the soldiers keeping watch and told him to inform Cullen that she had survived.

Ellana tried to sneak and make as little noise as possible as she made her way into Solas’ tent. She found him sleeping, though his slumber seemed restless. She considered waking him by giving him a kiss but decided against it. It was dangerous to sneak up on a mage.

“Solas,” she called him softly.

Solas made a little noise but didn’t wake up. Ellana called him again, a little louder. He twitched and his eyes opened quickly. He jumped into a sitting position and looked around hastily before spotting Ellana. The relief on his face was endearing. He got up to hug and kiss her.

“Vhenan, what happened? We got word that you had mysteriously disappeared after a fight. Again. Why do you keep doing that?”

“I love the ‘you are not dead’ sex,” Ellana grinned at him, “Although, we will have to save it for later. I am not dead but I am dead tired. Meet me in the Fade and I will tell you, what has happened.”

They settled onto the bedroll, spooning each other. It didn’t take long for Ellana to fall asleep. As soon as Solas stepped into her dream, she showed him everything that had happened – the fights in the woods, finding the temple, taking the petitioner’s path, the ancient elves, defeating Samson, the discussions with Abelas.

“Vhenan, tell me you did not drink from the Well,” Solas said. He sounded genuinely distressed.

“I did consider it,” Ellana said, “I don’t completely trust Morrigan. I wanted to preserve the knowledge of the Well. But I couldn’t take the chance of going crazy after drinking from it. I am still needed to defeat Corypheus.”

“For once, your sense of duty makes me happy,” Solas said.

Ellana chuckled and showed him, what had happened, when Morrigan drank from the Well. She shared her memory of the appearance of Corypheus and their escape through the Eluvian. She also shared the memory of the spout that had the shape of an elven woman inside it. It had risen to face Corypheus. The memory disappeared.

“We arrived at Skyhold from whence I flew here to tell the troops of what had happened,” Ellana concluded.

“What will you do now that you have the power of the Well?” Solas asked.

“I will make the world a better place. Not by restoring it to the past glory long gone, but by making something new.”

“What if it goes wrong? What if you wake up to find that the future you shaped is worse than what was?” Solas asked.

“Then I will pause, take a breath, see, what went wrong, and fix it.”

“I admire your positive outlook. You give me hope. I am sorry for what happened to the temple of Mythal. It did not deserve such a fate. But maybe some things can be restored. The orb Corypheus carries and the power it wields can certainly still be recovered,” Solas pondered and looked at her expression, “I am sorry. I did not mean to upset you.”

“You are just being grim and fatalistic to get me into bed.”

“I am grim and fatalistic. Getting you into bed is just an enjoyable side benefit,” Solas said, “Speaking of which – how about we take a detour tomorrow, just the two of us?”

“I am intrigued,” Ellana said, “But don’t we still have a war to win? What happened today?”

“Corypheus and his dragon disappeared and left their army to die,” Solas said, “We won. The red templars have been defeated.”

“Magnificent! Then we can afford to take that detour before returning to Skyhold. What did you have in mind?”

“I was thinking Crestwood.”

“Zombies? Lovely.”

“Well, there was that one couple, who found the old dam building very romantic…”

“Seriously? That’s your idea of a romantic getaway?”

“No,” Solas admitted, “But there is a beautiful place there, where the Veil is thin.”

“Honestly, I would go anywhere as long as you are there with me,” Ellana said.

\--

“You were right, I can feel the tingling,” Ellana said.

“I brought you here because I was trying to determine some way to show you, what you mean to me,” Solas said and squeezed her hand in his.

“I can give you a couple of ideas,” Ellana said.

“I will keep that in mind,” Solas said, “You, vhenan, are extraordinary. You have surprised me time and time again. I never thought I would find someone, who could draw my attention away from the Fade. You have become important to me. More important than I could have imagined."

“I feel the same way.”

“To show you, how much you mean to me, I will tell you the truth. In my journeys in the Fade I have discovered the true meaning of the vallaslin. They, or similar ones, were used as slave markings in the time of the ancient Arlathan.”

“What?” Ellana asked in shock, tears rising into her eyes, “We try to preserve, what little we know, and this is what we keep? The thing that proves that we were no better than Tevinter?”

“Do not say that. For all their wrongs, the Dalish did do one thing right. They made you,” Solas said and kissed her cheek, “I am sorry. I did not mean to hurt you. If you want, I know a spell. I can remove the vallaslin. I can see the true you and you deserve so much better than what those cruel marks represent.”

Ellana thought about it. The vallaslin was part of being Dalish but she truly wasn’t one any more, was she? She hardly saw the marks, she was so used to them. She wanted to know more about the history of the people. She did not want to be seen as a slave. The Inquisition was her new life. She would still be the same person if Solas took them away. So she told him to do it.

Solas made her sit, put his hands on her face, and performed the spell. Then he looked into her eyes.

“You are so beautiful,” he said with a gentle voice.

They kissed. Solas pulled Ellana close and let his hand slide on her ass. She pressed her body more tightly into his and enjoyed his warmth and the comfort of having him there. When they broke the kiss, she looked at him. She could see the moment something went wrong, though she had no idea, what it was.

“And I am sorry,” Solas said, “I have distracted you from your duty. It will never happen again.”

Solas let go of Ellana and backed away from her. She was confused. Did he just break up with her? That was not possible, was it? He had been so loving and gentle. What had changed?

“Solas, whatever it is, you can tell me. We can work on it together. I love you.”

“You really shouldn’t. I will not distract you ever again. If you are angry, you should direct your anger at Corypheus,” Solas said and left.

He left her there. He left her. Ellana stood as if nailed to the spot, staring at his disappearing back. What the hell had just happened?

Ellana walked to the little pond, sat down, and looked into the water. She hardly recognized the face staring back at her. Her forehead looked empty. The scars were more pronounced. And the eyes. Rarely had she seen such sadness in someone’s eyes, let alone hers. Their size made it even clearer that her heart had just been broken by the man, who had told her and showed her that he loved her. 

Ellana stared at the reflection for a long time. For some reason, its eyes were filled with tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sure that that there were some typos, sorry for those. I am a little tired.
> 
> I apologize for the amount of in-game dialogue. I felt it necessary, though I took some liberties with it.
> 
> I don't know about you but ever since hearing "Behind Blue Eyes" some time ago, I have felt that it (or the beginning, at least) describes Solas well. (The Internet tells me that it is a song performed originally by the Who but I prefer the Limp Bizkit cover.)
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos, comments, and bookmarks!


	40. At An Intersection

Fenris was angry and determined. After he had received the news of Hawke’s death, he had been sad for a long time. Well, sad and drunk. Gradually he had become sad and drunk and angry. After the wine had run out, he had been mostly angry. The determination was a fairly new development. He had decided that Hawke deserved justice. He would get her justice even if it killed him.

It was the determination that had made him leave his hideout and take to the road. He had spent days travelling and planning… As much as one could plan in his state of mind. He did not have a map to his precise location but, thanks to recent events, absolutely everyone he met could point him to the right direction. Everyone knew the way to Skyhold. And to the Inquisitor. Or, as Fenris sometimes referred to her, the dead woman walking.

Fenris had not had many letters from Varric. He assumed the dwarf had been busy running around the Inquisitor and writing about her mighty deeds. He had heard enough, though. People everywhere talked of the Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste. Fenris growled at the thought. He had heard of her power and her misuse of it. She had taken the rebel mages under her wing as her allies. She had settled the fates of nations. She had sprung a murderer out of prison. She could get away with anything. Until now.

Fenris was determined to get Hawke justice by killing the person responsible for her death. The most recent news he had heard of the Inquisition’s progress had made him certain that they could kill Corypheus without the Inquisitor. Her magical mark had been needed to close the Breach, which had already been done. The Inquisition had to be bursting with people, who could lead the army. And they would choose a divine any day now. She would fill people’s need to have a religious figurehead. Nobody needed anything from the Inquisitor any more, except for him. He needed her to give Hawke the justice she deserved.

Fenris was sure he would get into Skyhold without trouble as long as Varric did not see him. The dwarf would guess his purpose for being there and he would not allow Fenris to kill his precious Inquisitor. Fenris would have to get someone to point the Inquisitor out to him. He had heard rumors of her beauty but they must have been exaggerated. He knew for certain that she was a young, redheaded Dalish mage. There could not be many of those around Skyhold, could there? As far as he knew, her clan was not staying at the fortress. There would be many elves around but only a scant few, who had vallaslin. Those were impossible to miss.

What troubled Fenris, was that he would not be successful in his attempt to bring Hawke justice. The Inquisitor was surrounded at all times by skilled people, who were ready to kill for her. Even if she did not have guards, her own skill had to be considerable. Fenris had to admit that she could not have accomplished all of this unless she had some merit of her own. He would have to get her alone somehow. He was fine with getting caught and killed after the deed but he refused to have it happen before he had carried out is mission. He owed Hawke that much. He would have preferred to live with her but, since that was not an option anymore, he would die for her. After he killed the Inquisitor, he would meet Hawke at the Maker’s side.

Fenris could see an intersection at the top of the hill. The road to the left led to Skyhold, while another path on the other side of the hill led somewhere else. As he was almost at the top of the hill, he saw another figure closing in from the opposite direction. He tensed but did not reach for his sword yet. There was no call for unnecessary violence. The slight, hooded figure did not seem threatening. They arrived at the intersection at the same time. The hood slid back a little and Fenris saw the face of a young, elven woman smiling shyly at him. He nodded at her to be polite and headed towards Skyhold.

“As I see it, we have two options,” a voice said from behind his back.

Fenris stopped and turned to look at the woman.

“What would those be?”

“Option one – we walk in a line like idiots and pretend that we are not headed to the same destination,” the woman said and grinned, “Or, option two - we walk together and make some polite chitchat every few hours. Or I can say something once in a while and you can grunt if you’d prefer.”

Fenris could not help it. He smiled. That was almost something Hawke could have said. She had done much to get him to forsake “his idiotic ways”, as she’d called them.

“Or I could run a few steps to make the distance longer. Or you could, you look like a runner to me.”

“Fine, woman, you can cease your prattle,” he caved, “We can travel to Skyhold together.”

“Such a gentleman,” she huffed and winked at him.

Fenris shook his head as they continued their journey side by side. He stole a few glances at his new traveling companion. She was tall and lithe. Her face was slightly oval-shaped and had a couple of scars around her left eye. Her lips were full and attention-grasping. Even more so because of the dark lipstick she wore. Her nose had a childish look to it. The most notable features were her huge, deep-green eyes. The sizeable bags under them told him that she had not been sleeping well on her journey.

Fenris was curious of the woman. Why was she traveling alone to Skyhold? She did not look like a pilgrim. Maybe she was one of Lady Nightingale’s scouts. Her attire was suitable for a rogue. She had no bow but her daggers were probably hidden in her clothes. Only an idiot would travel without weapons and Fenris was rather certain that this was no idiot. There was intelligence in her eyes.

“Why is a woman like you traveling alone?” Fenris asked.

His companion snorted and shot him an incredulous look.

“You do not get out much, do you?”

“Why do you say that?”

“That sounded like one of the worst pick-up-lines in history. It is the traveling equivalent of ‘do you come here often’,” she explained, “If this was a romance novel, it would be closely followed by ‘I like a girl with spirit’ and then I would be rescued by the handsome hero. Actually, I wouldn’t mind that. So go ahead and continue to the ‘I like a girl with spirit’ if you want.”

“I… That is not, what I meant,” Fenris mumbled. He was afraid that he may have blushed a little.

“I know, I know,” she said and actually giggled at his embarrassment, “I am sorry for making you uncomfortable. I just had to. But to answer your question, I am returning from that whole Arbor Wilds thing.”

“You were there?” Fenris was growing even more curious.

“Everyone was there,” she replied, “Even the fucking empress if you can believe it.”

“How do you know, what the empress looks like?” Fenris inquired.

“It is not hard to spot the noblewoman in a damned dress when you are in the bloody woods.”

“Fair point,” Fenris conceded, “If everyone was there, why are you traveling alone?”

“I had some personal business to take care of on the way back. Besides, I should not be more than a couple of days behind the main force. To be honest, I do not usually travel alone but it is not a problem since I can take care of myself,” she said with an inexplicable sadness in her eyes.

They continued their journey in silence for a long time. Fenris realized that he had missed having people around. During his years with Hawke and their friends, he had gotten used to company. He had spent too much time on his own. It was nice to have someone to be silent with, to have another person breathing and living next to you. It reminded him that he was not alone in the world, even though he had felt like it many times during the past months. This could be the last time he got to travel with someone, even a complete stranger. He should enjoy it while he was still breathing.

“Have you considered updating your armor?”

Fenris looked at his companion in surprise.

“Not recently. My thoughts have been otherwise engaged.”

“You should. It is obvious that your armor has seen better days. It has not been properly repaired and it looks like it chafes in places,” she said, “If your armor is not up to snuff, it will hinder your ability to fight. That puts your life at risk as well as the life of anyone fighting beside you.”

“That is correct, I grant you,” Fenris said, “Armor is expensive, though, and, as you can see, I am not a rich man.”

“I think I can help you with that,” she said and grinned, again. She seemed to do that a lot.

“Why would you help me? You do not even know me.”

“I know nothing of armor,” she said, “But the Inquisition has an amazing smith. Well, arcanist, actually. She is a dwarf and incredibly fascinated by all things magic. If you let her look at your markings for a short time, she will make you anything you desire. And it will be awesome.”

“I have no desire to be someone’s guinea pig,” Fenris said sternly. Danarius had been more than enough.

“Don’t worry, she will not do anything bad to you or hurt you. She will look and probably prod a little. And ask a butt-load of questions. She is funny like that.”

Fenris considered her words. He could use new armor. The one he had was growing old and uncomfortable. It had seen many battles. Too many. If he lived, he could take her up on her offer.

“Are you sure this dwarf would help me?”

“I think it will be more difficult to keep her away from you once she learns that someone with lyrium markings has arrived at Skyhold. Mark my words, she will hunt you down, whether you want her to or not. You might as well get something out of her attention. And you will not have to worry about the cost. The Inquisition has enough resources to equip a decent man so that he can defend himself.”

“How do you know that I am a decent man?”

“I have yet to hear the ‘I like a girl with spirit’,” she replied.

Fenris smiled at her. It was impossible not to.

“The second smile of the day? I am honored,” she said.

“Are you in the habit of making fun of people you have barely met or am I a special case?”

“Some people make it way too easy to make fun of them,” she said, “For so long I have had to play nice with annoying people, it is refreshing to not have to do that for a time.”

“You already find me annoying?” Fenris asked. He was amused despite himself.

“No, this is friendly jabbing. If I found you annoying, I would mainly ignore you.”

“Your attention is a compliment, then?”

“I don’t think myself that grand,” she said, “The attention of the empress is a compliment and the attention of the Chantry is a threat.”

“I doubt the Chantry would agree.”

“I wouldn’t tell them. They would look at me in a funny way.”

“You do not like people looking at you in a funny way?”

“They do that as soon as I open my mouth,” she said and shrugged, “I am a lost cause.”

“A very cheery one,” Fenris pointed out.

“I am just hiding my pain,” she said. Something about the way she said it made Fenris pay attention. He would bet that it was true. Unsurprising, but true. The world was full of pain. He knew that better than many.

“Why hide it?” Fenris asked, “Does that not make it worse?”

She looked him in the eye. She seemed to be considering something carefully before she spoke.

“If you show it, someone will notice. If that someone is a friend, they will be worried. I, for one, have friends and do not wish to burden them with my pain. They have enough of their own.”

“I see,” Fenris said. 

Fenris did understand, though he had never thought of it like that. He had always been so immersed in his own pain that he had never considered the possibility that seeing him in pain might hurt others. All those times Hawke, Varric, Sebastian, Aveline, and even Isabela had stopped by to spend time with him, when he had been down… He needed to think some things through.

Fenris was deep in thought when his companion stopped.

“I need to ask you something,” she said.

Fenris looked at her serious expression. What had brought this on?

“I have something to tell you and I need you to promise me that you will not kill me until I have said all of it.”

“Why would I kill you?” Fenris asked cautiously. He was confused at this turn of events.

“Promise me.”

Fenris watched at her. She had straightened her back and adopted a stand that spoke of determination. She had done nothing to indicate that she was about to kill him. What harm could there be in finding out, what she had to say?

“I promise.”

She took a deep breath before beginning.

“I know, why you are going to Skyhold, Fenris.”

Fenris tensed. How had she known his name? He had not given it. He did not believe that he had met her before. She did not seem familiar to him in any way. What was this?

“You want to get justice for Hawke. I believe that you intend to do this by killing me, the person responsible for her death,” she said and waved off Fenris’ response before continuing, “I acknowledge your right to seek justice. I am not trying to get out of it, I know well that I was responsible for making the choice that led to Hawke’s death. I simply ask that you allow me to complete my mission before you take my life. You have faced Corypheus before. You know how dangerous he is. Even though we defeated his army and took away his lieutenant, he is still out there with his dragon. He is still aspiring to godhood. I cannot in good conscience give up before we have insured that the world is safe from him. Yes, there are others, who could lead the Inquisition against him. I have no appreciation for the fact that people have raised me to the position I have today. But they have. I am their Inquisitor. I am their Herald. They need me to be there to fight as hard as they can.”

She paused and looked at Fenris. His mind was buzzing with all that she had said.

“You cannot be the Inquisitor,” Fenris said, “I do not understand, why you would claim to be her. Are you trying to protect her? Did she tell you to say this?”

“I am the Inquisitor Ellana Lavellan, also known as the Herald of Andraste.”

“The Inquisitor is Dalish. Where is your vallaslin?”

“The vallaslin is gone. My ex is a mage and he knew a spell. And I am Dalish,” she said and continued to speak a language that sounded very much like Elven to Fenris.

“Also, there is this,” she said and took off her left glove. Her palm shined a green light.

Fenris knew of the mark on her hand. As unlikely as it seemed, this had to be the Inquisitor. She was nothing like Fenris had thought. She was funny and seemed kind and clearly not hung up on her power. She had not even tried to deny her responsibility for Hawke’s death. Or his right to avenge her, for that matter. Why? What sort of game was she playing?

“Are you not supposed to be a mage? Where is your staff?”

“I left it at Skyhold as I thought that I would not be traveling alone. In a way, I was right,” she said and gave him a sad little smile.

“Let’s say I believe you,” he said, “Why tell me? Why not wait to Skyhold to keep your life and have me arrested?”

“As I said, you have the right to seek justice. No one will give it to you unless you take it,” she said, “As to why I am telling you this now – if you do not agree that I am needed to defeat Corypheus, this is your golden opportunity. You can kill me now. There are no witnesses. I am traveling alone without my staff. I am depressed for having just been dumped by my lover. It is understandable that someone would get the drop on me. If you kill me now, no one will ever know it was you. Unless you use the thing, where you rip my heart out of my chest. That is too much of a signature move not to be recognized. But if you use the sword, you will get away with it. In fact, I can get on my knees to make it easier for you and less painful for me. Just give me a moment to say my prayers, please.”

She did actually get on her knees and close her eyes. Fenris simply stared at her. This was the Inquisitor? This was the Dalish apostate? She seemed like none of those things. He took out his sword. She opened her eyes, looked at him with resignation in them, and turned her gaze downwards. He raised his sword and brought it swiftly down. It paused at her throat. She had done nothing to stop him.

“Why did you stop?”

“I wanted to see if you were telling the truth,” Fenris said, “I, too, want to kill Corypheus. It was important to Hawke. She wanted him dead badly.”

“I know, she told me. She was supposed to fight with us to defeat him and teach me Tevene curses once we were done.”

Fenris snorted.

“That sounds like her,” he admitted, “Come on, get up, woman. This can wait until that abomination is dead.”

“Thank you,” she said as she got up and dusted her clothes, “I will see to it that you will have your chance to avenge her death when Corypheus is dead.”

“I will hold you to that, Inquisitor,” he said.

“And you are getting that armor,” she said as they continued onwards.

“Why?”

“You will be coming with us on missions, will you not?”

“Why would I do that?” Fenris inquired.

“To take care that no one kills me but you, of course.”

“You are a strange woman, Inquisitor.”

“So I have been told.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we have Fenris :)
> 
> "I like a girl with spirit" is from Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett.
> 
> "I'm just hiding my pain" is probably from a lot of things but I remember it from Grey's Anatomy (one of the earlier seasons).
> 
> I love it that people actually seem to be reading this. Thank you so much!


	41. A Skyhold Welcome

Ellana pulled the hood down to cover her forehead when they entered Skyhold.

“If you want to find a place to sleep, I suggest you go see Cullen. You know Cullen, don’t you?” Ellana looked at Fenris, who nodded. “His office is at the top of those stairs.”

The warrior nodded again and left. Ellana took a deep breath. That had been interesting. All the stories she had heard of Hawke and her friends had made Ellana curious of the Tevinter elf. He had escaped slavery and made a life for himself. He did not give a damn about what anyone thought of him. She admired that. She had hoped to meet him one day. It appeared that the Creators had a sense of humor for sending her idol to kill her. You had to love the irony.

Ellana knew she had a grim job to do. She went around Skyhold and gathered her friends together. They were a little confused but showed up at the meeting in Josephine’s room. When they were all there, Ellana slid her hood off.

“Lethallan, what happened to your vallaslin?” Loranil asked.

“Yeah, what did you do to your tats?” Sera asked, “You look strange without them.”

“Solas knew a spell.”

“Why would you let him take them away? Did he make you?” Loranil was getting wound up.

“He did not make me,” Ellana said. That was not actually a lie. She had chosen to let him remove them based on what he had told her.

“If you don’t give a proper reason, I won’t believe you,” Loranil said.

“You don’t look like yourself without them,” Varric said, “By the way, where is Chuckles?”

“He is already aware of the subject matter of this meeting,” Ellana said, “It does not matter why my face is bare. I am sure you will get used to it. There is another matter I need to inform you of.”

“We are not going to like this, are we?” Dorian asked.

“Solas and I are no longer a couple. We will still be working together to sort this mess out and bring Corypheus down.”

“You two were away for a day. What the hell happened?” Loranil asked.

“It is not important,” Ellana said, “What matters is that we will work together. All of us. There will be no problems. No one will be threatening someone else. We will all play nice. Is that understood?”

There was no response besides the narrowed eyes and dark glances at the door.

“I repeat: is that understood?”

“Yes, Inquisitor,” came the muffled answers.

“Good. I do not want to have to revisit this discussion,” Ellana said, “Oh, there was a third thing: We have a new addition to our group. An old friend of Varric’s has promised to help us take down Corypheus.”

“Which one?” Varric asked, “I have many friends.”

“Fenris.”

Ellana saw the horror flash on Varric’s face. She knew that her friend would guess the reason for Fenris’ visit as soon as she had.

“Broody is here?” Varric asked in a hollow voice.

“Yes, we traveled the last leg of the journey together.”

“Did you tell him, who…? Did he say, why he is here?”

Ellana noticed that Cole was about to say something.

“Cole, that is not for you to share,” she said and the spirit kept quiet.

“To answer your question, Varric, I let him know that I welcome the help of a warrior of his caliber. He is committed to killing Corypheus as it is, what Hawke wanted,” Ellana explained. She was getting good at sharing half-truths. Maybe she should get into politics.

“To sum up, Boss,” Bull said, “Solas took away your vallaslin and now he’s your ex, even though the two of you were crazy about each other. You still work together and you want us to play nice with him. And the lover of the woman, whose death you are responsible for is here to help us?”

“Sounds bad,” Sera said.

“That about sums it up,” Ellana said, “Is there something you wish to add?”

“We are sorry,” Dorian said, “We know that you liked him.”

“Thank you, my friends,” Ellana said, “That is all. You are free to go and celebrate the victory over the red templars. It will be a couple of days before we leave for the next mission.”

Ellana watched as her friends left them room. Varric was the first one out of the door but that was no surprise. Ellana was sure that he was off to look for Fenris I order to squeeze the truth out of him. Good luck with that, she thought.

“Are you alright? Do you want to talk about it?” Dorian asked.

Ellana smiled at him.

“Thanks, Dorian. I will be alright when we kill Corypheus. That is the only thing that matters. As little a matter as my love life does not merit a lot of time and moping around.”

“There is nothing wrong with being sad.”

“For a time, maybe, but dwell on it for too long and it will eat you out.”

“Not in the good way?”

“No, not in the good way.”

“You want to have a drink?”

“I want to have a lot of drinks but I still have stuff to take care of. How about I see you at the bar in the evening?” Ellana suggested.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Dorian said, squeezed her hand, and left.

\--

Solas was in the rotunda, trying to paint. He had tried reading, first, but he had been too distracted to study. He’d had to read the same sentence again and again. He was troubled. He was blaming himself for what had happened with Ell- -The Inquisitor. He should learn to call her the Inquisitor. He had no right to use endearments or anything of the sort.

Solas rubbed his head with his hand. It was only after he felt something wet on his bald that he realized that his hand had been smeared with paint and that said paint was now on his head. He tried to care but he did not. Could not. During the past few months, he had only cared for three things – defeating Corypheus, restoring his orb in order to correct his mistakes, and El- The Inquisitor. He had thrown the third away to better succeed in the first two. Or so he told himself.

Solas let his brush-holding arm flap down as he stared at the wall with un-seeing eyes. He was in so much pain and he could let no one see it. He should never have let himself fall for the Inquisitor. He should never have flirted back to her. He should never have allowed the kiss. If he had not let their intimacy grow, he would not have had to break her heart. And his. Stupid, stupid, stupid. So many years and still so much to learn.

Solas sighed and endeavored to resume his work before someone caught him moping. The Inquisitor could return at any moment, if she had not already arrived. He considered it unlikely that she would make a big deal about what had happened. That was not like her. She would just be sad and kind and smile in a way that would break his heart all over again every time he saw her. Her friends were going to be angry with him. It was only a matter of time before someone, or all of them, would confront him.

Solas had convinced himself that the Inquisitor would recover. He knew that she was strong. Her life had made her that way. It had kept pushing her down and kicking her for good measure but she had always gotten up. Solas hated himself for causing her more pain but he trusted in her inner strength. One day she would find someone else to love and Solas was thankful that he would not be around for that. He could not bear the thought of having to watch her love someone else. It would serve him right, though.

The approaching sound of urgent steps made Solas straighten up and gather his bearings. He concentrated, once again, on his painting.

“Chuckles,” Varric called out from the door, “I need a word with you.”

Solas put his paints and brush down and turned to Varric.

“How may I help, master Tethras?”

“Very soon I will give you a trashing for letting the Inquisitor go,” Varric said, “But as for now, it’ll have to wait. Have you seen an elf with lyrium tattoos all over his body? It’s important.”

“I cannot say that I have. I would remember,” Solas said, curious of why the elf was important enough to postpone a lecture.

“Shit! I need to find Broody before he does something stupid.”

“Why are you worried? Who is this person?”

“Fenris, Hawke’s very devoted and very angry lover, who has arrived at Skyhold. The Inquisitor said that he’d promised to help kill Corypheus but I’m pretty sure that his is not the only name on Broody’s list.”

Solas’ heart skipped a beat.

“You think he will go after the Inquisitor?” Solas asked with a voice that sounded strange in his ears, “Do you think he is good enough to hurt her?”

“I think he’s angry enough to go after the Inquisitor,” Varric said, “And to answer your other question: He used to be a magister’s bodyguard. He survived ten years on the streets of Kirkwall with Hawke. If you put him in a ring with Bull, my money would be on Broody.”

Solas cursed in Elven.

“You can say that again,” Varric concurred, “So I need to find him to see, where his head is at.”

“Wait, Varric,” Solas said before the dwarf had a chance to leave, “Does the Inquisitor know, who this person is?”

“Yes,” Varric said, “She’s the one, who told us that Broody’s here.”

Varric left on that note. Solas cursed again. She would not just let him… Would she? Solas felt cold. He had to do something. He closed his eyes, focused, and sought out the closest concentration of lyrium.

\--

Fenris was wandering aimlessly around Skyhold to get the lay of the land. Even though everyone noticed him, they went straight back to what they had been doing. They had to have seen very different people during the time the Inquisition had existed. An elf with lyrium tattoos was not such an extraordinary sight, when there was the Inquisitor, who rode into battle on a giant nug. He knew this because he had seen the nug at the stables. The horse master had been eager to talk his ear off about the Inquisitor’s curios choices of mounts.

Fenris climbed the stairs to walk the battlements and stopped to look at the view. It was magnificent. He knew that Hawke had been there, maybe in that very spot. The thought made him sad but the sadness was laced with anger. He wanted justice but, for now, it would have to wait. Hawke had felt responsible for Corypheus’ deeds, no matter how Fenris had told her that it was not her fault. Her guilt had brought her here to meet her fate. If only he had not allowed her to go. Or if he had come with her, she might still be alive. Or he could be with her at the Maker’s side and not here, forced to spend time with the one responsible for her death.

Fenris had to admit that he did not exactly know, what had happened. Varric had been scarce in his explanation. Fenris wanted to get the story out of someone he could believe. Since it looked like he was going to be spending some time with the Inquisitor’s accomplices, he might as well coax the truth out of them.

Suddenly, Fenris was pushed onto the floor by some unseen force that knocked the air out of his lungs. As he gasped for breath, he wondered, why the Inquisitor would attack him now, not on the road. Maybe she had enjoyed toying with him but now the playtime had ended. He should have known. Mages could not be trusted.

Fenris began to push himself up, when someone grabbed him by the throat and yanked him into a standing position. Another spell was cast and Fenris was frozen on the spot. He couldn’t escape or activate his markings.

Fenris looked at his attacker and was surprised to see that it was not the Inquisitor. A male elf in shabby clothing was staring at him with his eyes full of fury. Fenris had no idea, who his assailant was or what he had done to make a complete stranger so mad.

“You,” the elf said with growl in his voice, “Will leave the Inquisitor alone. You will not hurt her. You will not even touch her. If you cause her as much as a bruise, I will end you. I will not make it quick or painless. I will make it slow and painful. This I swear. You leave her alone, little wolf, or you will meet the big one.”

At the last words, the mage’s eyes flashed with a blue light that was awfully familiar. An uncomfortable feeling settled into Fenris’ gut with the anger that had been rising since the mage had attacked him.

“Let go of me, abomination. I care not for you precious Inquisitor,” he said, spitting out the last word, “Hawke wanted to see Corypheus die. I will help to make that happen.”

“I do not care, what you call me, as long as we understand each other,” the mage said.

“Did she put you up to this? Make her pet abomination do her dirty work for her? She is weaker than I thought.”

“She has strength you could never fathom. She has no idea that I am here, nor would she like it, if she knew.”

“Why are you here, then?” Fenris asked. He could feel the ice melting. He would be free soon.

“Why did Hawke leave you behind?”

Fenris did not bother to answer, he just glared. He understood, though. The Inquisitor had said that she had been dumped by her lover. This could be him. But why leave her and still come here to threaten him? It made no sense. Then again, when did mages make sense? Especially ones, whose eyes glowed sometimes blue like the Fade?

Fenris activated his marking and sprang away from the mage’s grasp. He waited to see if the man would attack him again or if this had been merely a warning. He could not attack or his plan would be foiled. He would not be forgiven for killing a member of the Inquisition. He could be jailed or worse. He would never get the justice he sought. No, he had to keep his cool.

“Anything else you want to add?” Fenris asked with a low voice.

An invisible force threw him off balance and drew him down. He was flat on his back in a moment.

“Nothing else. As long as we understand each other, I will leave you alone. Enjoy your stay with the Inquisition, Fenris,” the mage said and walked away with confident steps.

Fenris stared at the paint stain on the mage’s head with his mouth hanging open. He had obviously come to a madhouse.

\--

“Inquisitor! Over here!”

Ellana had hardly stepped through the door before Dorian was flagging her down to join him. He already had a pitcher of beer from which he was pouring her a pint. Bull and Sera joined them soon with another pitcher and a bottle of something stronger. They talked and laughed and drank as the tavern filled with people. At some point, Cole gravitated to Ellana and sat down next to her. He didn’t say much, he just sat there looking a little downcast.

“Did you hear that the elves are shite like everyone else?” Sera asked Bull.

“Everyone’s shitty. Why would the elves be different?” Bull asked in return.

“Cause they thought they were special, you know?” Sera explained, “Like immortal and holier than thou and that shit. But the shiny elf said that they’re not. That they killed each other just like the rest. Nothing special there.”

“No one will believe it,” Dorian said, “Especially my countrymen. They do love their grand historical deeds, even the gory ones.”

“That is because Tevinter is rotten to the core,” said a new voice that was dripping with disdain.

Everyone turned to look at the speaker, though Ellana did not have to. She recognized the oh, so sexy voice of her executioner.

“Fenris, why don’t you come join use,” Ellana said jovially and gestured towards an empty chair, “How do you like the Inquisition so far?”

Fenris looked as if he was going to bolt. He turned his head around, probably searching for another empty seat or a way out of the situation. None presented itself, so he sat down cautiously. Bull poured a beer and handed it to him. Fenris accepted the pint, took a swig, and grimaced.

“This liquid is foul,” he said, “And you are running a madhouse here, mage.”

Bull and Sera grinned at him.

“I like a man with a brain,” Bull said and winked at Fenris.

“You like everything,” Ellana pointed out.

“It does not take a brain to see this place for what it is, Qunari,” Fenris stated and drank some more.

“Yet, here you are,” Dorian said, “Why is that, by the way?”

“Why is anyone here, mage?” Fenris said, “To see the Inquisitor’s giant nug, of course.”

“Oh, you mean Augustine?” Ellana said and smiled, “He’s something, isn’t he?”

“If by ‘something’, you mean ‘huge’, then yes, he is something.”

Fenris looked around the crowded room again.

“Is your whole army here?”

“You have seen nothing yet, man,” Bull said, “You should see the size of her army. Or some other things attached to her. I know I’d like to - those robes leave me guessing.”

Fenris snorted.

“The world is full of fools, it seems.”

“So, you have been to Val Royaux, then?” Ellana asked, “Or to the Winter Palace?”

“I have not. Why do you ask, mage?”

“That is, where the fools are,” Ellana said bitterly, “The ones, who do nothing, when the world burns around them. The fools, who complain about the caviar being late, when a servant has been killed by some other fool grasping for power. The fools, who wage a war against their countrymen, when the whole world is threatened by a delusional darkspawn aspiring to godhood.”

Fenris stared at her with an inscrutable expression on his face. For a moment, Cole was behind him and whispered something into his ear. Fenris’ back straightened and he looked around but the spirit had already disappeared.

“No, you’re the fools for not drinking, when there’s booze in front of you,” Sera exclaimed, “Drink up!”

They did drink the booze. Maybe a little more enthusiastically than would have been wise. Ellana ended up so drunk that Dorian had to carry her to bed.

“Would you stay with me, Dorian?” Ellana asked when he put her down.

“The world is swaying so much that I should better. I cannot be sure that I would make it down the stairs safely,” he replied and thudded onto the bed next to her, “Are you all right? Really?”

“I will be. Really. I miss him but it does not matter. I will take Corypheus down.”

“I know that. We all know that.”

“Oh, goody, no pressure at all.”


	42. Unlocking Histories

Ellana was woken up by the feeling of someone licking her face.

“Er… Dorian, what are you doing?” Ellana asked without opening her eyes.

There was a groan from behind her.

“Going by the feel of my head, I think I am dying,” Dorian said.

“Wait, you are there, so who…” Ellana’s voice trailed off and she opened her eyes. Fen’Harel was staring at her and wagging his tail.

“What?”

“Never mind,” Ellana said and patted her wolf on the head, “Hey, there, boy. How did you get up here?”

“I let him up.”

Ellana turned her blurry gaze towards the new voice. Loranil was grinning at her. He looked annoyingly perky.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Loranil said, smirking, “It took you forever to get up, so I came to see that you hadn’t backslidden with your ex.”

“Interesting,” Dorian said, “What would you have done if you had found her with the hedge mage instead of me?”

“You know what? I really hadn’t thought about it,” Loranil said, “I would probably have flicked his bald and given her a lecture.”

“Well, there is no need to do either of those, so you can go,” Ellana groaned.

“No way. If my memory serves me right, you are amusing when you are hungover. I don’t want to miss the show.”

“Sod off, wanker,” Ellana said and got up into a sitting position with an effort. Her head felt like there was a tiny Qunari hitting it with a sledgehammer.

“I love you, too, my friend,” Loranil replied, “I have to ask, though: is that any way for the Herald of Andraste to talk?”

“It most certainly is not,” Dorian stated, “Think of what the visiting dignitaries would say if they heard you say such things.”

“I am so lucky to have friends like you.”

“Yes, you are,” Loranil said, “I made you the hangover remedy you taught me. I figured you would need it.”

“I love how practical you Dalish are,” Dorian commented.

“Well, we like our booze,” Loranil said, “And we tend to do it ourselves. If you are ever offered Dalish booze, just say ‘no’. That stuff will kill you.”

“Thank you for the tip. Can I have some of that potion?” Dorian asked.

“The other glass is for you,” Loranil said and handed the glasses to the suffering mages.

“It’s green,” Dorian said, staring at his potion.

“Oy, stop looking at it! That’s a rookie mistake,” Loranil said, “Just drink up. And try not to taste it.”

“What’s…”

“You do not want to know,” Ellana said. She had already downed hers.

Dorian shrugged and glugged the potion down. He grimaced and handed the glass back to Loranil.

“That tasted like despair,” he said.

“No, you are thinking of Orlesian cheese,” Ellana said, “Besides, no effective hangover cure ever tastes good. Everyone knows that.”

“You may have a point.”

“The bad taste is supposed to make you regret getting drunk in the first place,” Loranil said, “Or at least, that’s what our keeper would say. But he says many things.”

“Most people do,” Ellana said, “I love how fast this stuff works. I almost feel sane again.”

“See, Dorian? That potion works miracles. It has made Ellana better than she was before,” Loranil ribbed.

“Did someone get me a ‘comic for your hangover morning’ package or something like that?” Ellana asked, “Because I would have preferred a massage. Or books. Or someone killing Corypheus for me.”

“Think of this as a thank you for saving the world from one of your oldest friends,” Loranil said.

“I really should take a good, long look at my life, shouldn’t I?” Ellana asked. Dorian nodded.

\--

Ellana’s day did not improve as it went further. She talked more with her friends. They had all been affected by the events of the Arbor Wilds. A clear sense of finality had settled over them. They talked of what had happened and told Ellana of their plans for the future. Cassandra was sure that Corypheus would attack them soon – he was too proud not to. Ellana felt chills running through her spine at the thought. Were they ready? Was she?

Of the many conversations Ellana had that day, the one she had with Cole was the worst. The way Corypheus died and then returned to life had made Cole wonder if he could have saved the original Cole somehow. He had thought that dying was forever, but to see Corypheus cheat death… It made Cole sad and anxious. He was hurting, so he decided to heal himself.

“I’ll forget,” Cole said.

“Cole, no!” Ellana yelled, but she was too late.

“You may still use that name if you want,” the spirit said in a hollow voice, “I am here to help you.”

Then the spirit vanished leaving Ellana alone on the battlement. She stared with unseeing eyes at the spot Cole had occupied. After some time, she turned and chose a groove on the outside-facing wall. She climbed on the wall and settled into the groove with her legs pulled tightly against her chest so that her chin could rest on them.

Ellana was worried that she had made the wrong choice. If she had allowed Cole to grow more like a person, maybe he would have been happier. Maybe he would have gotten friends and experienced reality in a different way. Or maybe he would have been driven insane by the hurt that he had been able to take away as a spirit. He could have made himself into a despair demon like he had feared. She would never know.

Ellana sighed. This was the kind of conversation she would previously have had with Solas but she dared not approach him about it. They had not spoken much after what had happened. She missed him in so many ways. She missed the closeness, the intimacy. She missed his dry wit and his counsel. She missed having someone to have the big conversations with. She missed his smile.

Ellana tried to imagine, what Solas would have said about Cole. He had always been all for allowing Cole to remain a spirit. Ellana could understand that – Solas had known many more spirits than she ever would. He knew about them and he appreciated them enough to have spirits as friends. Spirits were no less valuable than people, he had told her. They were simply different. Whereas people needed to remember things about their past in order for them to remains sane, spirits like Cole could make themselves forget without getting broken.

“You make a much easier mark than anyone with their own army should.”

Ellana returned to reality and looked at Fenris, who had appeared as if from nowhere and was now leaning on the wall she was sitting on.

“How do you figure?”

“If I wanted to, I could have killed you seven times. And that is just today.”

“If you have ideas to improve the security of Skyhold, you should share them with Cullen,” Ellana suggested, “It looked like he was feeling guilty after the attempted assassination some months back. I am sure that he would welcome the help of an accomplished warrior such as you.”

“Do not bother being kind to me, mage,” Fenris said, “I will end you.”

“That is no reason for me to mistreat you,” Ellana said and resumed staring at the scenery, “Besides, I respect you.”

“You do not even know me.”

“I have known Varric for over a year. We have spent much time together and he has had the chance to tell a lot of stories, most of which have been about Hawke and her friends,” Ellana said, “I may not know you, personally, Fenris, but I know of you. Hence the respect. It takes a lot for a former slave to build a life for himself, as you have done. It takes a lot not to let your past bring you down and force you to be something you do not wish to be.”

They stayed quiet for a while, staring at the view.

“There was an attempted assassination?” Fenris asked, “Why did they fail?”

“Because I have friends,” Ellana said, “Cole arrived just in time to kill the assailant.”

“Cole?”

“Our resident spirit of compassion,” Ellana explained, “You met him yesterday but you may not remember him. He looks like a young man with a huge hat.”

“Not only have you an abomination in the Inquisition, but a demon as well?” Fenris asked. He seemed angry.

“Cole is not a demon, he is a spirit. And we have no abominations here, trust me. There is no way I would allow another Anders to endanger my people.”

“You are a fool.”

“I am aware.”

“And you make it too difficult for your army to protect you. It would be easy to push you off the wall and watch you plunge into your death. Who would face Corypheus then?”

Ellana let out a dry laugh.

“You think that is funny?” Fenris asked.

“A little bit, yes,” she admitted, “Come on, then. Push me off the wall, I dare you. You know you want to.”

“I will not, mage. As much as it pains me, I still need you to kill Corypheus.”

“Fine. If you will not play ball, I will have to do it myself.”

Ellana jumped off the wall and chucked at Fenris’ sound of surprise before turning into an owl. She circled a little to make her point, descended, and turned back into her elven form. Fenris’ eyes had narrowed.

“Yes, yes, I am a heathen, savage witch,” she said, “You have to admit, though, that shapeshifting is a useful trick.”

“You seem cavalier about what I think about you, witch.”

“You are going to kill me anyway. Does it really matter, what you think about me? Also, I appreciate honesty. I may be a ‘goody-goody’, as my friends keep telling me, but it does not mean that I will lie to make people like me. That is one reason why I never wanted to be known as the Herald of Andraste. But people do not care, what I think. They dubbed me that all the same and made me be their hero without asking. I am not doing this to please people. I am doing this to save them.”

Ellana took a few steps away from Fenris before remembering that she had something to tell him.

“By the way, we are leaving tomorrow for the Emerald Graves. There is an elven ruin we will check out. I assume that you will want to join us?”

Fenris nodded and Ellana left him alone.

\--

“These poor guys. Most of them were unarmed. They never had a chance,” Ellana said, “There should be Inquisition troops here. I fear for their fate.”

Ellana said a silent prayer for the Dalish they had found dead near the entrance of Din’an Hanin. They went inside and found the Inquisition soldiers, slaughtered.

“I wonder, what Corypheus wants with this place,” Ellana said.

“Possibly nothing more than to claim it,” Vivienne said.

“To claim the tomb of the Emerald Knights? What is there to gain?” Ellana wondered.

“Daisy once told me of the Emerald Knights,” Varric said, “She said that they had fierce eyes and great pointy swords. She lacked the flair of dramatic description. Do you remember, Broody?”

“I cannot recall every little thing the witch prattled on about,” Fenris replied.

Ellana fought down a chuckle. The warrior’s negative attitude towards all things magic was so strict that it was bordering on amusing. She had picked the team for this mission to put him at his ease. Varric was the obvious choice and Ellana had figured that Vivienne and Fenris had rather similar ideas about the dangers of magic. They should be planning a circle for the Inquisition by the day’s end.

Fen’Harel had been running ahead of them. Suddenly, he got very alert. Ellana went to see, what had set him on edge.

“Red templars,” she informed the others, “Get ready.”

Ellana activated the Ring of Doubt and sneaked onwards.

\--

“What is that crazy witch doing now?” Fenris asked Varric in frustration as the Inquisitor disappeared from sight.

“She’s doing her thing.”

“Her thing is to sneak away and let us handle the fight? I should have known,” Fenris said and grabbed his sword.

“You don’t know her at all,” Varric noted, “It’s more likely that there will be no enemies left for us. Look closely at those archers – they will be the first to go.”

Fenris did as Varric asked and fixed his stare on the two archers standing together. There was a flash and they burst into flame. The fire consumed them before they had a chance to do anything but scream. The other red templars had noticed the source of the trouble and attacked the witch, who was, for some reason, standing in the middle of the throng, casting furiously. There was fire and lightning and a great big mess that was difficult to keep track of. When the noise and activity died down, the little witch was the only one left standing. She turned around to grin straight at Fenris, who averted his gaze. How had she known that he was looking?

The group moved further into the ruins. The place was a frustrating maze with different levels, collapses, ladders, stairs, hidden runes, and many other less than pleasing aspects. Fenris stayed mostly silent as the others bantered with camaraderie. They encountered several foes but the fights were fast. The reason for their speediness was, he begrudgingly admitted, the Dalish witch. She was much more formidable than her appearance and manner suggested.

“Fenris, watch out!”

Fenris looked up to see a great, red club descending upon him. He had no time to react before something crashed into him from the side and pushed him out of the way. He hit the nearby wall and had to straggle for a moment to regain his balance. He watched as the Behemoth’s club brought down the witch, who had pushed him out of its way. She yelped in pain but struggled up and continued casting like nothing had happened. Fenris charged the Behemoth to draw its attention away from the frail-looking creature, who had saved him from a painful blow.

“Why did you do that?” Fenris asked the witch after the Behemoth had fallen.

“Because she is a good person,” Varric said and handed the witch a healing potion, “Maker knows I like you, Broody, but sometime you should just take your head out of your ass.”

“Varric, it’s all right,” the witch said and got up, “Let’s take this seal and continue. Sometimes I wish that ancient morons had come up with better ways to keep their treasure hidden than making a key, breaking it, and distributing the pieces in crazy places. That is getting old.”

“I agree,” the dwarf said, “Oh, boy, look, what we have here! A good, old-fashioned lock to be picked. I wonder, what sort of treasures they hid behind this.”

Varric bent down to work on the lock. It did not take him long to pick it and open the impressive doors.

“Congratulations, my friend,” the witch said, “You have broken into the broom closet. I bet there are all sorts of valuable rags in that box, so loot away.”

“Hey, the idea was sound,” Varric defended himself, “Why would anyone lock a broom closet?”

“As has been previously pointed out, this does not count as ‘locking’, when it comes to the ancient idiots.”

“You may have a point,” Varric admitted, “But still. Should the broom closet not be open for anyone, who wants to clean the place up?”

“I have a theory.”

“Let’s hear it, Inquisitor,” Varric said, “I usually like your theories. They make for good stories.”

“This is where the Emerald Knights used to live. They were heroes, very popular ones. They must have had a lot of eager fans. If you were such a knight and lived in a place like this with no privacy and wanted to have a little fun with a pretty fan, where would you take her?”

“The broom closet.”

“Exactly. The lock on the door is perfect for that. No one will walk in on you unannounced while you are having a quickie.”

“Wouldn’t someone hear?” Fenris asked, even to his own surprise.

“If you are doing it against the door, maybe,” the witch admitted, “But not if you kept quiet and did it against the back wall.”

“That sounds like personal experience to me,” Fenris said.

“I admit nothing and confess even less.”

“Please, Inquisitor,” Varric said, “Promise me that you and Chuckles haven’t had sex in a broom closet in Skyhold.”

“Skyhold has a broom closet?”

“Several, I should imagine,” Fenris commented.

“Fine,” the witch said, “Upon my honor, I promise that I did not have sex with Solas in a broom closet in Skyhold. Please, Varric, promise me that my novel version will not be doing that either.”

“That was very specific,” Varric said with a suspicious expression, “I think you did have sex somewhere else semipublic. Where?”

“I will not share that information.”

“Suit yourself,” Varric said, “I will just have to use my imagination. Let’s see, who should I say you had sex with and in which room…”

“Add to those ‘on what piece of furniture’ and you have yourself a society game to add to the novel,” the witch suggested.

“That’s not a bad idea…”

“It is getting more and more obvious to me why the Inquisition is not a part of the Chantry,” Fenris said and earned a chuckled from Varric and the witch.

They continued searching the ruins. The final chamber contained four braziers that needed to be lit by a special light that the mages called veilfire. When a brazier was lit, a group of undead appeared from nowhere and attacked them. The zombies were quickly dealt with and mostly burnt down. Both of the mages seemed to prefer fire. Fenris did not need to do much beyond looking out for Varric.

The fourth brazier was different.

“Looks like the corpses brought a friend,” Varric yelled as he saw the revenant.

“Crap, I hate those,” the witch said and began casting at the demon.

“Is there some sort of demon you love, then?” Fenris asked before charging the creature.

“According to you, Cole,” she said, “Though he is not a demon.”

“Yes, it is,” replied the other mage at the same time as Varric said, “No, he’s not.”

When the revenant fell to ground slowly, as was their way, the group found the artefact they had been looking for. It turned out to be the truthful account of what had started the Exalted Marches in the Dales. It had been brought about by hearsay. A human woman and an elven man had fallen in love. The fate had not been kind to them and they had been misunderstood and killed by their own people. Fenris shook his head slowly. Did people never learn?

“Inquisitor, are you crying?” Varric asked.

“I… Just a little bit,” the witch answered with tears in her eyes, “Why do people do stuff like this to each other? Why make all those boundaries, not only for yourself, but for others as well? What does it accomplish?”

The witch rolled the parchment and pressed it against her chest for a moment.

“I will give this to the first keeper I can find,” she said, “People should know. The history benefits no one if we cannot learn from its mistakes.”

“That is a noble attitude, my dear,” said the other mage.

“You say ‘noble’ like you mean ‘naïve’.”

“Possibly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have just come up with a dirty version of Cluedo...
> 
> "I admit nothing and confess even less" - StealthSister -
> 
> Thanks for sticking with the story! :)


	43. The Beauty And Pain of Learning through Practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I had to work through the weekend which led to me spending yesterday in a near comatose state of not being able to do anything resembling creative effort.

”Tell me again, what we are doing here,” Varric said as he shivered in the cold wind.

“Corypheus has a dragon. Morrigan, or the Well of Sorrows, says that we cannot kill him unless we kill the dragon. Hence, we need to practice killing dragons. How do we practice? By killing dragons. And, according to our scouts, we can find at least three of those when we cross that bridge,” Ellana summed up.

“Why do we need to practice?” Sera asked, “We’ve killed dragons before, right?”

“I, for one, did not enjoy the last time we did that,” Ellana said, “I would much prefer it if half of the team did not almost die while doing it.”

“That must have been some amazing sex,” Bull said, “It was a group thing, then, if there was a team involved?”

“Are you capable of thinking of nothing but sex, Qunari?” Fenris asked.

“Nothing wrong with sex, elf,” Bull said, unfazed, “You should try it sometime.”

Fenris muttered a curse at him but did not say anything else.

“How do you wish to proceed, Inquisitor?” Solas asked.

“I think we should kill one dragon a day,” Ellana pondered, “It makes the most sense to do it in small teams since it is highly unlikely that all of us will be able to confront the dragon when the fight has begun. Also, I would like to take one of the dragons on by myself.”

“Absolutely not,” Dorian said, “We will not let you get yourself killed.”

“I agree with Dorian, Inquisitor,” Solas said, “It is too dangerous.”

“Because confronting a would-be-god is not dangerous?” Ellana asked with a raised eyebrow, “We all know that he is going to attack me. Not the Inquisition, but me, specifically. Taking down a high dragon should be a piece of cake compared to him.”

“What sort of cake do you Dalish have?” Varric asked, “Because the rest of us think of cake as something soft, sweet, and nice. Unless it’s poisoned, but that’s more of a novel thing than a reality thing.”

“Maybe it’s burnt?” Sera suggested.

“The Dalish have normal cake,” Ellana said, “But that is beside the point. We need to pick the team to face the first dragon. Varric, Solas, and Blackwall are out since they were with me the last time. Dorian and Bull were in on the previous one. Fenris, do you want to come? I hear it has been some time since you have faced a high dragon?”

Fenris only nodded. Ellana took it to mean that he was not opposed to the idea.

“That leaves two spots open. Is someone feeling sleepy? There is no better way to wake up than to fear for your life.”

“I’m not sleepy, but I’ll go,” Cole said.

“Thank you, Cole,” Ellana said, “Vivienne, how about you? I know it is not a tempting offer but we could use another mage.”

“As you wish, my dear,” Vivienne replied.

“I appreciate it. The rest of you can relax and enjoy your time as you see fit. We will stack up on potions and whatnot and go kill the first dragon we stumble on.”

“Oh, yes, the Inquisitor method of finding monsters – walking into them,” Varric jabbed.

“Not all of us have such amazing amount of chest hair to draw them. We have to be more inventive,” Ellana replied.

“Are you jealous? You should be. Ladies, regardless of species, love the chest hair.”

“If you say so,” Ellana said, “Enjoy your day. We will return with trophies!”

\--

Solas was sitting in his tent and staring at its door. He told himself that he was not worried; there was no need to be. The Inquisitor had once killed a high dragon almost by herself and now she had people to help her. She should be fine. She would be fine. Even without him by her side.

Solas sighed. He had known that since the breakup she was less likely to take him with her. The rational part of him knew that, while the emotional part wanted to be by her side and protect her and hold her and make love to her and claim her and… And bash that sour elf’s skull in. Even the rational part of him wanted to do that but he knew that the Inquisitor would be angry with him if he harmed the white-haired elf, who kept insulting her and talking about her like she was as bad as Corypheus.

Regardless of the things the Tevinter elf said about the Inquisitor, she allowed him to remain by her side, while Solas was left behind. It bothered him to no end. He had a feeling he knew the reason for her choice but he hoped that he was wrong. Even if he was right, the Inquisitor would be protected – even from herself, if need be. No one in Skyhold would let the brooding elf hurt her. Solas hoped that his talk, however ill-considered, had had the desired effect on the warrior. But if it had, why was the man still there? Why was he still following the Inquisitor around like a disgruntled servant?

Was it possible that the elf desired the Inquisitor? Solas felt disquieted by the thought. The elf had been Hawke’s lover, that was true, but it had been months since her death. If your lifespan was measured in mere decades, not in millennia, you had to recover fast. It was a necessity, not a choice. But the sour elf could not possibly fall for the person, who he had blamed for his lover’s death, could he?

Why not, asked a little voice inside Solas’ head. He himself had fallen for the Inquisitor, despite his best efforts and noble decisions. She was captivating. Irresistible, really. The whole of Thedas would give an arm and a leg to be with her. Why would the brooding elf be any different?

No, Solas shook his head. He would not think of such things. It would be madness to dwell on this subject just to distract himself from the fact that the Inquisitor was out there, fighting a high dragon without him. All that mattered about the white-haired warrior was that he was a bad omen, whatever he might harbinger.

There were noises from outside. Solas got up and went out to see, what was happening. The people had gathered to receive the Inquisitor and her team. They seemed to be a little bruised and frozen but other than that, they seemed fine. Solas let out a breath he had not known that he had been holding. He went to meet them to see if he could be of service.

When the Inquisitor saw Solas, a grin lit her face. He was delighted at that, though a little confused, since she had not smiled at him like that since Crestwood. What had inspired her mirth?

“Solas,” she said when she stood in front of him, “Just the man I wanted to see. I have something for you.”

Solas watched her unfasten the long package she had carried on her back. The shape suggested that it was a staff that was covered by cloth. She took the cloth away and thrust the staff at his hand. He took it on reflex before taking a closer look at it. It had a statue of a naked woman as a head ornament.

“This is for you,” the Inquisitor said, “Because, well… You are the only one, who will get any kind of enjoyment out of it. I know for a fact that you like naked women, which is the opposite of what can be said of me, Dorian, or Vivienne.”

Solas felt the heat rise up on his cheeks.

“I, ah… I thank you, Inquisitor. This is very considerate of you,” he mumbled.

“That is one fine stick,” Bull commented with a grin in his voice.

“Yeah, right?” Sera said and sniggered, “It’s so unfair. Mages get all the best stuff. There’s no way anyone’s gonna put a naked girl on a bow.”

“Or a sword,” Bull pointed out, “We’ll just have to get the live ones, while Solas fondles his staff.”

“You’re right, Bull,” Sera said, “No hard feelings, baldy.”

“Not yet, but wait until he gets into his tent alone with that thing,” Bull said.

“Come on,” the Inquisitor said, “Do you want to tease Solas or hear about our mighty deeds?”

“Can’t we do both?” Sera asked.

“One thing at a time,” the Inquisitor said, “How about you listen to the tale of how we killed a high dragon? Fenris can tell it. He has quite a talent for expression.”

All eyes turned towards the sour warrior.

“We killed a dragon,” he said.

People seemed to be waiting for some expansion. There was none.

“Ha,” Varric stated, “That was anticlimactic.”

“That is, what happened, dwarf,” the elf said.

“Could someone tell us more? Please?” Varric asked, “I need more information for my novel.”

“The dragon sees us. It is angry and frightened. Why are these little creatures bothering it? The glowing elf attacks it. Fighting should take the anger away, but it doesn’t. It doesn’t go away, why? The dragon attacks, it is cold, so cold. A dragon should be hot, why is everything backwards after she died? I stab at it, again and again, but it only sees the elves, one glows and the other shines. They attack and they get through. They see the dragon and each other. They attack, not the dragon, but the pain, the ceaseless pain. To protect others, you have to suffer yourself, if need be. The dragon takes off into the air to spit ice at us. The elves protect us. They make themselves seen and gather the blasts. The dragon descends and we attack it. It feels like forever, why is it not dead yet? Why does she keep protecting everyone at the cost of getting herself hurt? Finally, the dragon lies down to die. It gives up. It is burned and broken, like my heart. I feel sorry for it, but at least its suffering will be over soon. The glowing elf takes the final blow. How fitting. The dragon is dead. We killed a dragon,” Cole finished. 

There was only silence.

“Thanks, kid,” Varric said, “I can honestly say that I have never heard anything like that before.”

Solas nodded slowly and looked at the Inquisitor and the white-haired elf. The Inquisitor seemed uncomfortable and the warrior looked furious. No one liked to have their thoughts spoken aloud to so many people. Solas was not pleased with the things he had heard. It had been difficult to follow, whose thoughts the spirit had been citing, but none of it was good. He wished there was something, anything, he could do but knew that there was not. If he did something, the Inquisitor would get more hurt.

Solas looked pensively at the staff the Inquisitor had given him. What should he make of it? Her reasoning for giving it to him made her kind of sense, but was it all? Was it some sort of a peace offering? Did she want to tell him that she was not mad, that they should heal and move on? Or was he reading too much into it, and it was just a staff? With the Inquisitor, you never knew.

Solas stood up silently and went back into his tent.

\--

Fenris was livid. How dare the demon say those things? How dare it go inside his head? It was further proof of the witch’s corruption that she kept the demon around and let it blurt out other’s thoughts. Thoughts were his private property. Even when he had been a slave, his thoughts had been his own. No demon had the right to share with others, what was his.

Fenris left the crowd and found a flat space that was wide enough for his sword drills. The fight had tired him but he needed to burn some of the anger the demon’s words had brought up. He would have slain the foul creature where it stood but he had known that such an action would not have been well-received. He huffed out his anger and frustration as he began the familiar moves.

At some point, Fenris became aware that he was being watched. He did not stop the drill but let his gaze wander until he found the source of the feeling. The witch was standing at a respectful distance and following the movements of his sword with her eyes.

“I do not know about the Dalish but polite society considers it rude to stare, witch,” he said.

“I am sorry that Cole upset you,” she said, “I have tried time and time again to explain to him, what he should and should not share, but he has trouble with the concept. He tends to equate thinking with saying things out loud.”

“Demons are funny that way.”

“He is a spirit of compassion,” the witch said, “It is his worst fear to become a demon. We have taken steps to prevent that.”

“You do not sound happy about that.”

“I… I do not like all of the results. He has become more like a spirit and given up some of the things that made him more like a person,” she said, sounding sad, “Not that you care, of course.”

“I do not.”

She was quiet for a while, shifting in place. She looked indecisive which was a new development.

“What is it?” Fenris asked.

“Would it… Would it be too much to ask if I could spar with you?”

Fenris ceased the drill. That was unexpected.

“How would that even work?”

The witch put her hands together in front of her, as if holding a sword. A sword appeared out of thin air. The long, translucent blade shimmered in the setting sun. Fenris had never seen anything like it. It was beautiful.

“What sort of witchcraft is that?”

“This is a spirit blade,” the witch said and made a few swings, “It is made of the spirit of a sword and it becomes reality at my will. It is an old knight enchanter trick.”

“Swords do not have spirits.”

“If you say so,” she replied, “Anyway, I have not had much training with this. I have performed drills similar to the one you were just doing but I have not had the opportunity to spar with someone. I realize that I am a giant’s leap under your skill level and will understand if you think it beneath you to spar with me. The choice is yours.”

Fenris considered her proposal. He was admittedly curious to see her weapon in action.

“A weapon you cannot use is a benefit to your enemy. You should learn,” he stated and took a stance, “Attack me.”

She did as he asked and she did not hold back. Fenris responded to her attack and tried to watch for an opening. It was surprisingly difficult to fight someone, whose sword he could hardly see. The witch’s movements had a speed and grace Fenris had not expected, though he should have. He kept underestimating her to his own disadvantage. One attack almost caught him off guard but he was able to fend it off in the nick of time. Fenris upped the intensity and got her to fall down.

“Bugger,” she said and got up, “I thought I was doing all right, but you were going easy on me. That kind of surprises me. I would have thought that you were the one person, who would beat the crap out of me without showing mercy.”

“Despite, what you might think of me, I do not find pleasure in beating defenseless women,” Fenris said.

“I am hardly defenseless,” she said.

“With that, against me, you are defenseless,” he said and attacked, “It sounds to me that you are too used to your lackeys tiptoeing around you.”

The witch deflected his attack and made one of her own.

“My lackeys?”

“Also known as the Inquisition,” Fenris said after some time.

“Why would they be my lackeys? They are here by their own choice. They want to fix the world. They want to live the dream. They want to see it all happen and tell their grandchildren that they were there, when the world was saved,” she said and dealt a strong blow.

“Why are you here if not for the same reasons?” Fenris asked and put some more pressure into the hits.

“I am needed here. I want to save the world as much as the next person but being the Inquisitor is not, what I would have chosen for myself, if I had the chance.”

“Then why do it?” Fenris asked, “Why not step down and let someone else do it?”

“Because this is, what they want of me. This is what they need of me,” she said.

She sounded resigned and her blows were losing their strength. Fenris did not like her attitude because it was one that he recognized all too well.

“You would have made an excellent slave,” he said bitterly.

There was a flash of deep hurt on her face and it completely confused Fenris.

“I did,” she said in a hollow voice.

The sword vanished and she stepped back.

“Thank you for the spar, Fenris,” she said, “Good night.”

She left with quick steps and Fenris stared at her receding back in bafflement. What had happened? He ran through the dialogue in his head. Had she really said that she had been a slave? She was Dalish! How was that possible? He had to face the fact that he knew next to nothing of her personal history. If she had indeed been a slave, he would loathe to have hurt her because of that. Having gone through that hell himself, he would never intentionally cause someone pain over having experienced and overcome that. He remembered the hurt her face had reflected because of his despicable comment.

Fenris fastened the sword onto his back and hurried after the witch. He had to apologize. He simply had to.

At the edge of the camp, Fenris almost ran into the Tevinter mage. He looked furious.

“You! What did you do to her?”

“Let me pass, mage, this does not concern you,” Fenris said and tried to get past the man, but he stepped into his way.

“I don’t care,” the mage said, his eyes ablaze with fury, “I have been quiet for too long. We all see how you treat the Inquisitor and hear how you speak of her. So far, we have let it slide because that’s what she wants, but not anymore. I saw her face just now and it broke my heart. I don’t care if you break my bones, I will speak my mind. I don’t know, what your problems are – I’m sure that they are numerous. As long as you are here, you will think, what you blurt out. She is not some mindless evil magister or whatever the hell you have pictured her in your pretty little head. She is the best person I have ever known and she has done nothing to deserve your hatred and harsh words. She is the person, who has sacrificed everything to save the world others have put in danger. You know nothing about her, so leave her alone.”

Fenris would previously have answered in anger but the recent events made him hold his tongue.

“It speaks well of the Inquisitor to have friends, who are ready to defend her,” he replied.

The mage seemed surprised at his polite response.

“Yes, it does,” he said, “Could you say the same for yourself?”

Fenris had to think about it. He had had Hawke but she was gone. All their friends had scattered around and were living their own lives. Varric was around and would probably fend for him, though Fenris had angered even him somewhat with his treatment of the Inquisitor.

“I cannot say that I could,” he admitted, “Can you tell me how I managed to upset her so?”

“That you can do it again?”

“That I can apologize.”

The mage looked taken aback.

“She did not tell me, what was wrong,” he admitted, “Could you walk me through what happened? Maybe I can decipher it.”

Fenris recapped the sparring and the headlines of their conversation. When he got to the bit about slavery, the mage’s face fell and his anger returned.

“You ignorant, insensitive twit! Her family sold her to another clan because of her magical abilities. Clan Lavellan never treated her right. They kept her like an unpaid servant. And there is a name for that.”

“How was I supposed to know that?” Fenris asked, though he felt guilty.

“I suggest you just apologize to her,” the mage said and left.

Fenris sighed and headed towards the Inquisitor’s tent. He stopped in front of it.

“Inquisitor?”

There was no reply.

“Inquisitor, please, I need to talk to you,” he said.

“Fine, come in,” her voice replied.

Fenris stepped inside and looked around. The tent was exactly like his with the exception of the huge wolf lying on the floor. The Inquisitor was sitting on her bedroll and staring at her hands. The tent was not tall enough Fenris to stand, so he took a knee and looked at her. She would not meet his eyes.

“Inquisitor, please, look at me,” he begged quietly.

It took a while before she turned her gaze on him. He could still see the hurt in her eyes, though she was clearly trying to cover it.

“I apologize for my words. They were thoughtless, hurtful, and unjustified. I am sorry to have caused you pain. Will you forgive me?”

She looked at him – probably to see if he was toying with her. She must have seen that he was serious because the smallest of smiles flitted at the corner of her mouth.

“Thank you, Fenris. You are forgiven.”

Fenris allowed himself a little smile.

“You are a fool for forgiving so easily,” he said.

“Life is too short for holding grudges,” she said, “Besides, it is not often that I get a hot man kneeling in front of me. That has to count for something.”

Fenris let out an involuntary chuckle that had her laughing out loud.

“I know that this must not have been easy for you,” she said in a more serious tone, “I appreciate your effort. I knew I was right when I said that you are a decent man. Do not forget that about yourself.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere with me, Inquisitor,” he said.

“No harm in trying.”

Fenris got up to leave.

“Good night, Inquisitor.”

“Good night, Fenris.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have had too much fun writing this...
> 
> I realized that Solas, being n+1 years old, must have a very different perception of time than regular people. It might explain why he moves so slowly with the Inquisitor. I have no idea if the game developers have thought of the philosophy of time while writing but it works for this fic. I kind of like the idea.
> 
> Thank you for your continued support :)


	44. Baby Dragons Are Not Cute

”I think we have a new definition for the word ’stupid’,” Ellana said.

“’An Orlesian lady having a picnic next to a bloody rift’?” Sera offered.

“Exactly,” Ellana said, “Poor thing.”

“Pfft,” Sera huffed, “Some people are just too dumb to live.”

“She has a point, you know,” Dorian agreed, “What sort of mind thinks ‘I want a nice place for a picnic, so I shall go to the dragon-infested crags’?”

“An Orlesian one. They seem to have made it into a sport. Think about it – how many similar picnic places have we come across?” Ellana pondered, “There was that one in the Emerald Graves that was on the other side of a deep gorge. In order to get there, you needed to walk across the gorge on that freakishly narrow beam.”

“I remember that,” Sera said, “Drippy ears got really upset when he heard you tell about crossing the beam.”

“There was that one at the top of the hill in Crestwood,” Cassandra said, “The view was beautiful but only a foot and you would fall to your death.”

“There must have been others, as well,” Ellana said, “Maybe danger gives people appetite?”

“For food? No. For sex? Oh, yes.” Dorian said and grinned.

“Not true,” Sera said, “Or I should be having sex all the time. Especially after that Fade shite. But no.”

“If it makes you feel any better, at least we are helping Dorian score by killing these dragons,” Ellana said, “Speaking of which, we should be about to run into the next one. The scouts said that this one has babies, so be prepared.”

“What?” Dorian said after some time, “Three women and no one going ‘ooh’ and ‘aww’ at the mention of babies? I may have to rethink some stereotypes.”

“You do that,” Cassandra stated.

“You can go ‘ooh’ and ‘aww’ all you want, Dorian,” Ellana promised, “We will not judge you for it.”

“Let’s just kill the dragon, yes?”

\--

“Andraste’s nickers!” Sera swore as she fell to the ground, obviously exhausted.

“I never in my life want to see another baby dragon ever again,” Ellana said. Diction be damned, that was how she felt.

“Where did they all come from?” Cassandra asked. She was leaning on her shield.

“Out of the big one’s ass?” Sera suggested, “They just fucking appeared out of bloody nowhere!”

“Do you still think that baby dragons are cute, Dorian?” Ellana asked.

“I never said that,” he replied.

“Every fucking time I thought that thing was going down, the little fuckers appeared,” Sera went on, “It was un-freaking-believable! First, nothing. Then, bam: five firebreathers on your neck!”

Ellana nodded and petted Fen’Harel, who was as covered in dragon blood as the rest of them. She looked around the field. It was bloody, gory, and full of dragon corpses. She had had no idea that a single dragon could produce such an amount of progeny all at once. It seemed unnatural. Or had all the nearby dragonlings been defending the same dragon for some reason? It made no sense but, then again, neither did huge, flying lizards that spit fire, ice, lightning, or something like that. Dragons were magical creatures. They did not need to make sense.

“I sincerely hope that Corypheus’ dragon does not have babies,” she said.

“I highly doubt it,” Dorian said, “It is not truly a dragon and not a real Archdemon but something in between. Generally you need two of something to make a third.”

“Let us hope that you are right,” Cassandra said with a frown, “I would hate to have to face a pack of those abominations. One is more than enough.”

“Are you now confident that you could kill it, when the time comes?” Ellana asked, “Do you feel prepared or do we need to go find more dragons to kill? I think there was one in the Hinterlands. It has babies, as well.”

The others groaned out loud.

“The Hinterlands and dragon babies – who could not be tempted by such an offer?” Dorian quipped.

“Yeah, right? I’d rather… I’d rather kiss Bull than go there to kill some more dragons,” Sera said.

“Kissing Bull isn’t so bad,” Dorian commented, “He is quite the master, really.”

“You’d say that,” Sera replied, “Anyway, I’m out. Let’s kill Corypetush, we’ve killed enough other stuff.”

“I agree. We should face him,” Cassandra said solemnly, “It is time.”

Ellana sighed. She knew that they were right, yet she felt unequal to the task. Maybe killing the dragons was some sort of a delay tactic on her part. She should be eager and optimistic to face Corypheus now that they had defeated his army and taken the Well of Sorrows away from his grasp. They had even discovered the way to kill him permanently. Victory should be within their reach. But still… Ellana was uncertain. The Inquisition was powerful. Her team was well-trained and well-equipped. But what about her? Was she ready? Could she lead them to victory and kill Corypheus? If she failed, would they fail?

Ellana closed her eyes for a moment and rubbed her temples. Everyone else was so sure that she was going to vanquish Corypheus. Even though the final boss fight was still ahead, they were already making plans for the future. She had no such plans for a reason. That reason would rip out her heart as soon as Corypheus laid dead on the ground. No point in planning for a future that would not exist.

“Are you ready to return to the camp?” Ellana asked, “We can rest there more.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

\--

Solas was about to step out of his tent, when he heard voices.

“May I have a word with you, Warden?”

“What’s on your mind, Fenris?”

Solas stood still. What could those two have to talk about? For a moment, he heard nothing. He assumed that Fenris had sat down and was trying to find the words to say whatever it was the he wanted to say to the man known as Blackwall.

“I… I was wondering if… Could you tell me about Adamant? I wish to know, what happened to Hawke. I was told that you were there.”

The usually angry voice of the white-haired warrior lacked its customary petulance. Solas sat down. He was curious to hear this conversation but he was certain that if his presence was known, he would not be included.

“I guess you have a right to know,” the human said in his gruff voice, “The attack, the whole thing, it was hell. I suppose you have seen your share of war, having been with the Champion and all. But that wasn’t just any war – Maker’s balls, we were fighting the Grey Wardens! Fucking Corypheus had taken their minds away from them and deceived them to hurt the people they were sworn to protect. They were blind to everything but the fear of failing their duty. This weasel of a magister had convinced Warden Commander Clarel to summon a powerful demon into the castle. We got there and managed to talk some sense into her. She turned against the magister. He fled and she chased after him, leaving us to deal with the demon that had popped from the Fade.”

“Yes, yes,” the elf said impatiently, “How did you end up in the Fade?”

“We chased after the magister and Clarel through the castle. There were many fights against demons and Wardens alike. Clarel got to the magister but failed to kill him before Corypheus’ dragon killed her. She managed to get a good hit at the thing and it reeled down, bringing a good piece of the wall with it. We were on that piece. We would have fallen into our deaths if the Inquisitor had not opened a rift with her mark. We fell into the Fade. It was strange.”

There was a pause.

“I have been to the Fade,” the elf said to Solas’ surprise, “It was akin to a dream.”

“That’s what Hawke said. She said that it had been different. Maybe it was because we were there bodily, but I don’t want to speculate. I’m no mage. All I can say is that it was strange – full of spiders made of fears, full of slimy pools, and mirrors that made unsettling noises. And demons. We met some spirit, who looked like the divine. She helped us. We found our graves. It was creepy. And the voice of the Nightmare, the demon, who was the king there, kept recounting our fears and stabbing at us where it hurt the most. Except for the Inquisitor, for some reason. She did not seem afraid. I respect that. The rest of us were quivering like little girls. She had the resolution and the courage to get us out of there.”

“Not all of you. Not Hawke.”

“No, not Hawke,” the man said with somber voice, “We defeated a fear demon and were about to escape when a giant spider got into our way. The Champion and Stroud offered to take down the monster to let the others escape. The Inquisitor asked the Champion to do it. She leapt at the spider and we got away. She sacrificed herself so that we could go defeat Corypheus and save the world.”

The human ended his tale. The men sat there in silence, or so Solas assumed. He thought of the Champion and of the decision the Inquisitor had made. Would he have made the same choice? Was Stroud truly that important?

“So the Inquisitor is to blame, as I thought.”

“No, Fenris, Corypheus is to blame,” the human replied, “None of this would have happened if he had not gone power hungry. He is the one, who caused the Breach, not the Inquisitor – she fixed it. He is the one, who corrupted and manipulated the Wardens to do, what they did – she set them free. He is the one, who made a deal with the fear demon – she made it null and void. I see that you need to blame someone for losing the one you love. Don’t blame the Inquisitor, blame Corypheus. He created the situation that required her to choose the one person, who could lead the Wardens into a new, better future, over the exiled Champion of Kirkwall.”

Solas agreed with Blackwall wholeheartedly. He wished that this speech would make the sour warrior reconsider things. Preferably enough to leave.

“I will consider, what you have said, Warden. Thank you for telling me, what happened to Hawke.”

“I’m sorry for your loss. The Champion was an amazing woman.”

“Thank you. That she truly was.”

That seemed to be the end of the conversation. Solas had already seen, what the Inquisitor remembered of the Fade. It had been interesting to get another person’s perspective. The Inquisitor never presented herself as the heart of the group. She did not appear to realize that to be exactly, what she was. If the mark had fallen on anyone less worthy, Corypheus would already rule the world, Solas thought. But, of course, the Inquisitor did not see that. Solas cursed her damned clan, and not for the first time, for making her think next to nothing of herself.

Solas had seen many heroes rise and fall – himself among them. He dearly wished that the Inquisitor would not have to join that group. Heroic deeds might lead to the happiness of others but rarely to the happiness of the one, who accomplished them. Sacrifice was built into the nature of heroism. When heroic deeds were done, however, a hero could cease and be done, if they had the strength of mind and character to do so. If they had not been corrupted by adoration and power, as too many grew to be. If only the Inquisitor survived until the end, she would be one of the ones to put her sword down and live her life. Or she would let duty to take her life over entirely. That would be like her, he admitted to himself. He wanted her to have a long, happy life. How could he help her gain it? He knew how he wanted to give it to her but it was not a possibility. He could not take her with him. Could he? No, he could not. Or could he?

Solas stopped his train of thought. He had gone through the same arguments in his head time and time again. It never stopped and the result remained the same. If it was ever to change, he would have to find a way to change the circumstances. As things stood, he did not have the power to do so. His one possibility was to regain his orb. The orb had power that could change various things…

The sounds of the dragonslayers’ arrival stirred Solas from his thoughts. He realized that he had sat on the cold floor of his tent for an untold amount of time. He got up, stretched a little to get rid of the sluggishness in his joints, and went outside.

\--

Ellana was happy to reach the camp. She could use a wash, a meal, and some sleep. Fen’Harel had licked some of the dragon blood off her on the way but she was still covered in the stuff.

“Bathed in the blood of your enemies, huh, Inquisitor?” Varric said when he saw them, “I wouldn’t have picked you as that type.”

“You know me, Varric,” Ellana said, “Vengeance will be mine and cower before me and I will crush your skull and… I’m out.”

“Seriously – did you find a pool of blood? I mean, look at yourselves.”

“No, we found a family of dragons,” Sera said bitterly, “That big one had lots and lots of little ones. They came out of its butt in waves.”

“That’s quite the image,” Varric said.

“Not far from the truth, though,” Ellana said, “Those little buggers kept spawning out of nowhere. Whoever says that all babies are cute has not had five baby dragons breathing on them.”

“And will get a fist in his stupid face,” Sera added.

“I’ll get the message out,” Varric promised.

“You’d better,” Sera said.

“All right,” Ellana said to move things along, “We will get cleaned up as much as we can. Varric, you can spin the tale. I am sure that you can fill in the blanks.”

The dragonslayers left Varric and headed towards their own tents. Ellana tried not to grimace at the dried blood.

“I see that your outing was successful, Inquisitor.”

Ellana stopped to face Solas.

“That is one way of putting it, I guess,” Ellana said, “The dragons – plural – are dead and we are alive.”

“You found more than one?”

“We found about twenty, I think.”

The expression on Solas’ face was priceless.

“I’m sorry?”

“The dragon had babies, lots of them.”

“I see,” he said and looked her over carefully, “You seem unharmed.”

“I am. It was tough but we managed it all right. It was the right choice to bring a team of four. A smaller party would have been in a lot of trouble with those dragonlings. One or two is easy to handle but several at the same time… That presents a challenge.”

“You are not still thinking of killing one by yourself, are you?”

“Yes, Solas, I am.”

“I… We need you to be alive and well when you face Corypheus. You must not take unnecessary risks. You would be wise to save your strength for the final battle. It would crush the spirit of many to see you hurt. You are the one, who is needed.”

“What are you trying to say, Solas?”

“I mean to say that…” 

Solas paused. It looked like he was struggling with himself. It made Ellana curious.

“’Please, take care of yourself, Inquisitor,’ is what I mean,” he said.

Ellana smiled at him.

“Thank you, Solas, I appreciate your concern.”

“Will you heed my advice?”

“I will think on it, at least,” she promised.

“Thank you.”

They bid each other good night and parted ways. Ellana went to clean the dried goo off herself and her clothing. The next morning she did indeed heed Solas’ advice and took Cole with her. She told him explicitly to not interfere unless he absolutely had to. The spirit understood and followed her and Fen’Harel into the dragon’s lair. Or amphitheater or whatever, Ellana did not care.

\--

“Has anyone seen the Inquisitor?”

Solas stepped out of his tent when he heard the question. He had assumed that she had still been sleeping. She could not have gone on her own, could she?

“Is the Inquisitor missing?” Solas asked Varric.

“Looks like it,” the dwarf answered, “No one has seen her today and it’s past midday already. The kid is also missing.”

Solas swore in Elven. He grabbed his staff and cloak to go after her.

“Chuckles, where are you going?” Varric asked.

“I will make sure that she lives, by any means necessary,” Solas said, “I will not let her own folly kill her.”

“I take it that she did go to meet that dragon alone,” the white-haired warrior commented, “I agree with the abomination. She is a fool – one that needs to be saved from her own folly. She needs to survive until Corypheus is defeated. I will come with you, abomination.”

“I would rather you did not,” Solas said, “But I have no time to argue.”

“It is settled then,” the warrior said and dashed after him.

The two men jogged side by side over the bridge. There was a grudging silence between them; one that neither wished to break. There were things Solas wanted to know about the warrior and his motivations but this was not the time to enquire into them.

“Is that not your demon?”

Solas squinted to see better. The warrior had been right – it was Cole, who was followed by the Inquisitor’s wolf. Solas looked around but he could not see her. He felt the fear rising in his chest but told it to stay down. There had to be a reason for the spirit having left the Inquisitor. He rushed his steps forward.

When Solas got closer to Cole, he saw that he was carrying something. That something turned out to be the Inquisitor.

“Cole, what happened? Is she all right?” Solas yelled from afar.

“She is alive,” the spirit said, which was not the answer Solas had been expecting.

Solas and the warrior reached the spirit. Solas raised his hand to gently touch the blood-soaked face of the Inquisitor. She was even paler than usual and her skin was cold, but she was breathing.

“Inquisitor? Inquisitor, please, talk to me,” he begged her and sounded probably just as desperate as he was. He did not care.

The Inquisitor opened her eyes and looked at the two men staring at her.

“I killed a dragon all by myself,” she said with a weak voice and a small smile, “And now I am rewarded with two handsome guys. I should do this more often.”

“You will do no such thing, Inquisitor,” Solas told her firmly, “How badly are you hurt?”

“I am not very hurt,” she said, “I am really, really tired. I may have used all of my mana.”

“You are a fool,” the sour elf pointed out. Solas found himself nodding.

“Says the guy with the old, broken armor,” she quipped, “And the guy, whose staff has a naked lady on it. Do you truly think yourselves qualified to give me life advice?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Too dumb to live" is a TV-trope (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TooDumbToLive)


	45. Propaganda And Happiness

”All right, Boss. Where is the next dragon?” Bull asked.

There were a lot of protests accompanied by groaning.

“No more dragons!” Sera exclaimed.

“I agree,” Solas said and earned a lot of nodding.

Ellana looked around the group. It seemed that Bull was the only one, who was still excited about dragonslaying. The others had had enough.

“I am sorry, Bull, but it is time to go kill darkspawn, instead,” she said and gained a cheer.

“Come on, Boss, I have an appointment with the dragon in the Hinterlands,” he said, “It has been bothering your people there. It needs killing.”

“My apologies, but Corypheus has a pre-existing appointment,” Ellana said, “You will have to reschedule with the flying lizard. You can kill it after we deal with the crab man.”

“The crab man? That’s what you’re going with?” Varric asked.

“Why not? He looks like a crab man to me,” Ellana replied, “And his influence has spread over Thedas like a disease. I think it quite fitting.”

“Charming,” Fenris said and opened his mouth to continue but Ellana pointed a finger at him.

“Do not,” she said, “I can see you thinking about saying it, but do not.”

“Are you telling me, what to do, mage?”

“No, I am presenting you with advice on how not to get your eyebrows singed.”

“You would not dare,” he said with challenge in his eyes.

“Kids, kids,” Varric said, “Peace.”

“As I was saying,” Ellana returned to the subject at hand, “We will go back to Skyhold to consult Morrigan on how to beat the crab man and his lizard.”

Sera burst out laughing and Varric sniggered. Bull, Dorian, and Blackwall were grinning and even Cassandra was attempting to hide a smile.

“Inquisitor…” Solas said with his hand covering his face.

“Sorry, I just had to,” Ellana said, “But think about it – is it not good for morale to think of the enemy as less frightening and more laughable? People are afraid to march against a would-be-god but to defeat a diseased pervert? That they would do with a smile on their face.”

“I think you may be right, Inquisitor,” Cassandra said.

“That is one kind of propaganda,” Vivienne said, “It has been known to work well with some sort of people.”

“What is that?” Cole asked.

“Telling you, what you think you know,” Vivienne said, “It has its part in both warfare and politics.”

“I can’t wait to tell people that the Inquisitor is going to whack the crab man and his lizard,” Sera said with glee.

“Fasta vas! You people are insane,” Fenris huffed.

“It took you long enough to notice,” Blackwall stated.

\--

The journey back to Skyhold was spent in good-natured jabbing and light-hearted conversation. Ellana was happy to see that Fenris seemed to have found a friend in Blackwall, though she had no idea, what had inspired the understanding. Ellana thought that Solas was more serious than usually. He rode side by side with Cole, neither of them saying a word. She wished that Solas could learn to get along with people and not just spirits. It would do him good, draw his attention away from the Fade. She wondered, how long it had been since Solas had had a friend, who was flesh and blood.

When they reached Skyhold, Ellana went to find Loranil. He was in Cullen’s office, chatting with the Commander. When Cullen saw Ellana, he rushed out of the door with hardly a hello to her.

“I knew I should have slapped some make up on,” Ellana said to Loranil.

“You don’t need any, my friend,” he said, “That was not about you. Poor Commander has been on the edge the whole time. I take it that it was hard for him to think of his lady love killing dragons.”

Ellana smiled a stupid smile, or so she felt, but she could not help it.

“Those two are so cute,” she said, “They are such romantics, the both of them.”

“So, are high dragons extinct yet?” Loranil asked, “How many did you kill?”

“Three big ones and about twenty little ones.”

Loranil whistled.

“Nice,” he said, “You and baldy backslide yet?”

“No, not yet,” Ellana said, “I do not think that he would wish that.”

“Of course he wants it. The guy was mad about you, anyone could see that. Stuff like that doesn’t just go away. It lingers. And he has to watch you fight and hero all over the place. Trust me, if it is up to him, you will backslide.”

“Hero all over the place?” Ellana asked with a raised eyebrow, “I think that your logic has some holes in it. You assume that it is about sex, but it never was about that with us. Do not get me wrong, the sex was truly amazing, really mind-blowing, but that was not why we got together. It took me ages to get him into bed.”

“You’ve done it once, you can do it again,” Loranil said.

“Even if I could, I want more than just sex,” she said, “If I wanted only sex, we could do it right now on Cullen’s desk. But there is no point in speculating. I could be dead tomorrow or whenever it is that I meet Corypheus. Not much point in planning a future that does not exist.”

“Oy, stop being so grim and fatalistic,” Loranil told her.

“Like attracts like, I guess,” she said.

“What?”

“Never mind. It was good seeing you, my friend. Be well.”

Ellana left Loranil and headed towards the garden. Talking about sex had made her feel horny. Damn you, Solas! Ellana cursed him and his skills between the sheets. Or on her table. Or against a wall. Or in the woods. Or… Get a hold of yourself, Ellana, she told herself. Solas had made it clear that it would never happen again. There was no point in dwelling on the memories of their joined bodies or echoing moans or how he felt inside… No! Never again, he had said. Never again.

Ellana needed something else to think about. She sought Morrigan out and asked about her plan for defeating the crab man. The mage had been so sucked into the world of the Well that she had missed Ellana’s specific words. It was like she was high on knowledge. Ellana was morbidly curious to hear a conversation between Morrigan, Solas, and Cole. It would be incomprehensible to everyone else, of that she was certain.

Morrigan said that they needed to go into the wilderness and summon Mythal. Ellana listened in fascination at the mage’s recital of what the goddess actually might be. She was getting used to the fact that the Dalish had gotten almost everything wrong about their history. No wonder Solas had laughed out loud, when he had read that book about the history of elves in Tevinter. It should teach her not to live in the past but to make her own present, as long as she had one.

Ellana and Morrigan agreed that they would travel to the altar of Mythal straight away, just the two of them and Fen’Harel. They were not expecting to run into a lot of trouble. If they faced any, they could take care of it amongst themselves. Two powerful mages and a wolf were capable of great things.

\--

“That was… Not what I expected,” Morrigan said.

They were on their way back to Skyhold. They had been quiet for a long time, deep in thought.

“You don’t say,” Ellana replied with a hollow voice, “So… Mythal is your mother. My goddess is your mother. Does that mean…”

“I am not your goddess,” Morrigan said, “I doubt the divinity is inherited. If what she has is it divinity at all. She has power and knowledge, of that I am certain. She gave me a way to defeat Corypheus’ dragon. That is, what we were after, yes?”

“Yes, but I cannot deny that I was looking forward to meeting one of the Creators, the gods of my people. Or what was left or her, anyway. Asha'belannar – your mother – was not, what I had been picturing Mythal to be.”

“Disappointed in your goddess, then?”

Ellana sighed.

“Is it wrong to expect mercy from the gods? Or help? She basically said that ‘sorry, life is shit, I cannot help you, but I will have my bloody vengeance’,” Ellana said, “That is the kind of stuff people say. Should the gods not be different?”

“Why?” Morrigan asked, “Yours may have been people once for all we know.”

“If we assume that, where would they have gotten their power? Should it not be a reward for being good?”

“In a perfect world, maybe, but this is Thedas, Inquisitor.”

“Fenedhis lasa,” Ellana cursed, “How did they gain their power then?”

“Who knows? Maybe they were individuals, who worked tirelessly for it and put their entire being into it because they had a reason to do so, a drive so forceful that it could not be ignored. Mythal, for instance, is revered, not only as the mother, but also as the one to bring justice. Perhaps that is her strength, her reason for being. We can but guess. Knowing is beyond us.”

“’The truth is not the end, but a beginning’,” Ellana quoted.

“Quoting your newly-found goddess already, Inquisitor?” Morrigan teased, “You will be fine.”

“Bite me.”

“’Tis not I, who wishes to do so.”

“I need a drink.”

\--

It was dark when the two women reached Skyhold. Ellana took Augustine to the stables and prepared him for the night. When the nug was happy, she made her way into the tavern. It was full and the atmosphere was far merrier than Ellana felt herself equipped to deal with. She decided to get one drink and scram.

Cullen and Cassandra were at the bar. They were adorably lovey-dovey, which was not a sight often encountered in the public.

“Inquisitor! Come here,” Cullen called to her.

Ellana went to join them and ordered a drink.

“We want to tell you something,” Cassandra said and looked at Ellana with the biggest smile she had ever seen on the warrior’s face.

“This lovely creature next to me has made me the happiest of men and agreed to marry me,” Cullen said, beaming with happiness and love.

“That is wonderful! Congratulations!” Ellana enthused and hugged them both tightly, “You two will be so happy, I just know it. And you deserve it, too.”

“Thank you, Inquisitor!” Cullen said, “We haven’t forgotten that it’s your doing that we have found happiness. If it wasn’t for you, I never would have had the courage to do anything but dream of her.”

Ellana felt like tearing up.

“I was happy to help, but you are giving me too much credit, Cullen. I only gave you a nudge, nothing more.”

“Well, thank you for the nudge,” Cassandra said, “It changed our lives forever.”

Ellana loved the way the two warriors looked at each other. It was the look that was shared between two people happily in love. It gave her joy that in the midst of all the craziness and the fear of the possible end of the world, they had remained hopeful enough to fall in love and think of starting a family together.

“We are getting married here, in Skyhold, as soon as Corypheus is dead,” Cullen said, “You should speak at our wedding, Inquisitor.”

“That is the drink talking, Cullen,” Ellana said, “You do not want me speaking in public, trust me.”

“You managed well in the Winter Palace,” Cassandra said, though she sounded a little doubtful.

“After having been coached by Josephine for an untold amount of time,” Ellana reminded her, “Do you not remember, how I made those freemen attack us with renewed vigor when I was trying to persuade them to surrender? Then there was that blood mage, who only wanted to talk, but turned into an abomination after I opened my mouth. And the farmer. And the hunter. Do I need to go on?”

“Still,” Cullen insisted, “It would mean a lot to us.”

“We can talk about this again once you are sober,” Ellana promised.

She gave each of them another hug, grabbed her drink, and found a free seat next to Varric.

“That’s good news about Curly and the Seeker getting hitched,” Varric said, “I hear you had something to do with it. How did that happen?”

“I told him to go get her,” Ellana summed up.

“Eloquent,” Fenris stated, “It makes me think less of Cullen that he required such advice.”

Ellana had heard that it had taken Fenris three years to do anything about Hawke but she chose not to remind him about it. He must curse himself for taking so long, especially since he had lost her so soon. The expression on Fenris’ face told Ellana that he was probably thinking of the same thing. She felt sorry for the warrior but cast the thoughts away from her mind. This day had had enough ups and downs.

“I doubt he cares,” Ellana replied, “He is happy.”

Varric nodded. They all looked at the couple in silence.

“By the way,” Varric said, “How was your trip? Did you find out anything useful?”

“Oh, yes, plenty,” Ellana said, “For instance, did you know that Mythal is Morrigan’s mother?”

Varric almost inhaled his drink.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Morrigan’s mother, Asha'belannar, is the creature known as Mythal.”

“Asha'belannar?” Fenris asked, “An old woman, who can see into your soul and turn into a dragon?”

“I suppose so.”

“We’ve met her,” Varric said, “She’s an elven goddess? Daisy is going to go nuts.”

“She was not a pleasant woman,” Ellana said, “And some of the stuff she said made me wonder… But she did give Morrigan information on how to beat the dragon, so it was not a total bust.”

“I do not believe you,” Fenris said and looked at her closely, “You are having a crisis of faith after meeting her and you came here to drown your sorrows and numb your mind.”

“If you say so,” she said, “All that matters is getting rid of Corypheus.”

“Why are you not calling him the crab man anymore?” Fenris asked.

“Shhh! Are you insane? You cannot say,” Ellana said and lowered her voice to say the next word, “‘Crabs’ in a tavern, it would cause a panic.”

“People running around and throwing drinks at their crotch?” Varric offered.

“People screaming at each other for sleeping around, while others would yell at them for the same reason?” Fenris suggested.

“Yes, that sort of panic.”

“We wouldn’t want that.”

“No, we would not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever seen the look a newly wed couple shares? I have, several times. It is lovely. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, kudos, comments, and bookmarks! :)


	46. Just Like We Practiced

In the wee hours of the night, Ellana returned to her room from her excursion. She did not usually stay up so late, so she felt cold. She changed into her sleeping attire and went under the covers but she could not escape the cold. That was when she heard the silent snoring of Fen’Harel. He looked so amusing with his legs twitching in accordance with the dream he was having. He looked so cute… And warm. Really warm.

Ellana grabbed a pillow and a blanket and walked up to Fen’Harel. The wolf opened an eye and looked at her lazily before going back to sleep. Ellana lied down next to him, pulled the cover around herself, and furrowed into the wolf’s back. She had been right, he was so very warm. Ellana closed her eyes and fell asleep next to her wolf.

\--

When Fenris woke up, he felt that something was amiss. He reached for his sword at once and looked around to find out the reason for the feeling. There appeared to be a notable lack of people trying to kill him. He relaxed before his eyes returned to where he kept his armor. Or used to keep his armor. The familiar, spiky armor had been replaced. He stood up to look around but could not find it anywhere. 

Fenris was burning up with anger. Someone had snuck into his room and replaced his armor! He knew well, who that someone was. How dare that witch? It was not her decision to make, what he would and would not wear! She had made her dwarf craft this armor without his consent. How could it fit? And the color – he had always worn black. That blasted dwarf had made it white and green. At least she had had the decency not to slap the symbol of the Inquisition on it. That would have been the last straw.

Fenris wanted to go yell at the witch but he could not do that in the underthings in which he slept. He went through his things for something to wear but there was nothing. He mostly wore his armor. He swore loudly at all the stupid, arrogant, highhanded, Dalish witches and started slapping the pieces of the new armor on. He would dearly have wanted no to wear it but he wanted to yell at the witch more, which left him with no choice.

When the armor was on, Fenris had to admit that it felt good. It was light and easy to move in. It did not chafe. Dare he say that it fit perfectly. The witch did not need to know that; he could compliment the dwarf in private. Maybe she could change the color. Otherwise, he would be easier to spot than Sebastian in his shiny armor.

Fenris fastened the sword on his back and rushed out of the door. The hall was full of people but Fenris did not see the one he was looking for. He spotted Varric and headed towards him.

“Broody,” the dwarf said, “Nice getup. I hardly recognized you without your spikes.”

“Where is the witch?”

“Witch?”

“The Inquisitor, dwarf. Where is she?”

“I don’t think she has come down yet,” the dwarf said, “Why?”

“I need a word with her.”

“Oh-oh... For your own sake, don’t yell at her too loudly, alright? She’ll make you look like an idiot, if you do. Or laugh at you.”

“I am not afraid of her ridicule, dwarf,” Fenris stated.

“Clearly, if you’re going to complain about getting a new armor set, when you needed it.”

Fenris ignored the last comment and made his way to the steps that led to the Inquisitor’s room. There were a lot of steps. Climbing them burned most of his anger away and he thought about Varric’s words. He had needed new armor, the dwarf was right. The witch had been saying that to him almost from the moment they had met. He had worn his old armor for many years and it had showed. Maybe it had been time for a change. But it did not give the witch permission to sneak into his room during the night and steal his things.

Fenris reached the Inquisitor’s room and stepped inside without knocking. He was about to open his mouth to yell at the witch but the scene in the room made him pause. The witch was sleeping on the floor, wrapped up tightly in a blanket. Her wolf was lying next to her back, with his eyes looking at Fenris. Fenris got the distinct feeling that if the wolf had not known him he would have been in trouble.

Fenris went to stand next to the witch and nudged her with his foot.

“Wake up, you sneaky witch, I want a word with you,” he said.

She got into a sitting position and turned her blurry gaze on him.

“Good morning, Fenris,” she said, “You look nice today. New armor?”

“Fasta vas, mage, you know damn well about the new armor. Or was it not you, who sneaked into my room last night and stole my armor and replaced it with this one?”

“Do I seem like the kind of person, who would sneak into someone else’s room, while that someone else was making the most adorable sniffling noise in his sleep, and steal something?”

Fenris felt his ears turning red. His friends had mentioned the sniffling to him, when they had slept outdoors on their travels. How dare that witch say something like that and play innocent?

“Yes, you do,” he said, “I want my armor back.”

“If you say so,” she replied, like so many times before, “I have no idea, where your old armor might be at this moment. If it surfaces, I will let you know.”

“I have a feeling that it will never surface,” Fenris said.

“Such a terrible loss, I know. Never have I seen armor with such dents and such a lot of rust. Not on a living person, anyway.”

“My old armor was fine. You have no appreciation for sentimental value.”

“Sentimental value will not keep you safe, Fenris,” she said with a more serious tone of voice.

She got up and stretched. After that, she and her wolf yawned at the same time.

“Why were you sleeping on the floor?” Fenris asked out of curiosity.

“I was cold. Fen’Harel is warm.”

“It did not occur to you to get another blanket?”

“Have you not seen my stairs? I did not feel like going down and climbing up in the dead of the night just to get another blanket,” she said and looked at his expression, “Yes, yes, I know, I am a fool. You should really come up with a new word to describe me, that fool thing is getting old.”

Fenris shook his head at her and left. Since he was unlikely to get his old armor back, he might as well try the new one out.

\--

After breakfast, Ellana went to meet her war council with a grin on her face. Poor Fenris, he had seemed so upset, though not quite as upset as she would have guessed. It made her happy that she had been able to help the warrior despite his protests. And that sniffling had been adorable, even though he had been so embarrassed by it.

The council meeting was as such meetings usually were. They discussed small missions that needed doing before addressing the bigger concern. Morrigan promised that she could match Corypheus’ dragon but reminded them that it was up to Ellana to match Corypheus. Ellana hoped that she would not have to do it alone.

All of a sudden, the mark on Ellana’s hand started blazing green fire, as if she had been closing a rift. There was noise and light from outside. They all looked at the sky, where the Breach had reopened.

“It looks like Corypheus isn’t willing to wait,” Leliana said, “He’s there.”

“In the valley of the Sacred Ashes?” Ellana asked, “Why would he reopen the Breach? If it grows or blows up, he will die with the rest of us.”

“Is he insane?” Josephine asked.

“I think that much has already been known,” Ellana said, “We must leave at once, before he has time to do more damage.”

“The army won’t be able to join you right away, Inquisitor,” Cullen said, “It takes some time to move.”

“I cannot wait,” Ellana said, “I will grab a team and go meet that bastard. This ends today.”

“Good luck, Inquisitor,” Josephine said.

“I do not need luck, I have magic.”

Ellana rushed out of the war room and decided to grab the first three teammates she came across. The first one was Varric.

“Varric, Corypheus has gone even madder. We are going to kill him now, not tomorrow. I need you and Bianca. Have you seen anyone else?”

“Chuckles is doing his painting thing and Broody just went out. I haven’t seen others yet,” Varric replied.

“All right. I will go grab Solas and you will find Fenris. Move it, please!”

Ellana ran into the rotunda and almost crashed into Solas.

“Solas, I need you,” she said, “We are going to the valley of the Sacred Ashes to meet Corypheus.”

Solas nodded. He grabbed his staff and followed Ellana out of the rotunda. They met Varric and Fenris on the yard and went to the stables to get mounts. They had a date with the crazy crab man.

\--

The valley of the Sacred Ashes looked even worse than Ellana had remembered, though the newly opened Breach could have something to do with the atmosphere. When Ellana and her team found Corypheus, he was lecturing Inquisition soldiers on how the Maker did not exist and that they should bow before Corypheus to be spared. When they did not, he called some demons to attack them.

“Corypheus, you are such a fucking cliché!” Ellana yelled at him.

Evidently the darkspawn did not like the feedback, for he raised the whole ruin and the rock under it into the air, thus cutting Ellana’s team off from their reinforcements. They were on their own.

Corypheus started spewing insults at Ellana. He was so freaking fond of monologuing.

“I say we find out once and for all, which of us is worthy of godhood,” he said.

Ellana stored that for later thought. Maybe Morrigan had been right about elven gods and how they had come to be gods.

“I did not come here to become a god, Corypheus,” she replied, “I only want to make sure that you will not be one.”

Corypheus was not happy for having been denied the battle of words, so he called for his dragon. It took a few steps towards them and made Ellana happy that they had practiced dragonslaying. They were prepared. She was about to cast the first spell, when another dragon flew out of the sky and attacked Corypheus’ beast. The dragons fell from the flying rock, which skyrocketed Corypheus’ anger onto a whole new level. 

The battle began. There were demons and red crystals shooting out of the ground. There was confusion and Corypheus kept jumping from place to place like one of the annoying fear demons. The jumps did not bother Varric and Solas overly much because they attacked from a distance but Ellana and Fenris had to rush after the creature to be effective. After they managed to do some damage, Corypheus flew onto a higher floor. They followed and the whole show began anew, except that Corypheus started spitting fire.

“All right, who gave that fucker Maraas-Lok? Time to ‘fess up,” Ellana screamed.

“What are you going on about, witch?” Fenris asked as he tried to dodge the fiery jet.

“That is the strongest drink I have ever tasted,” she explained, “And I have tasted some potent stuff, believe me. It would explain why the crab man is vomiting fire.”

“How dare you insult me?” Corypheus cried in outrage, “You are nothing!”

“You said that already! Did they not hand you a villain phrasebook with that orb? They really should have.”

At that moment, the dragons fell out of the sky. Corypheus’ dragon landed in front of its master. The other turned into Morrigan, who spat blood.

“Morrigan is hurt,” Solas said, “We need to help her.”

“I know, Solas,” Ellana said, “And I promise that we will get to it as soon as we kill the huge lizard coming at us.”

“Sarcasm at a moment like this, Inquisitor?”

“Well, I happen to enjoy sarcasm,” Ellana said and cast at the dragon, “You never know, which moment will be your last, so you should live your life to the fullest and all that crap. Besides, trash talk is an integral part of our dragon killing routine.”

“She’s got a point, Chuckles,” Varric stated.

“About ‘all that crap’ or ‘our dragon killing routine’?” Solas asked.

Varric laughed.

“Both.”

“How about you kill the dragon instead of only talking about it?” Fenris suggested from somewhere around the dragon’s feet. He phased through it and came into view on the other side.

“Broody, while you are doing that, could you see if there are the remains of an annoying dwarf in there?” Varric asked, “One of my suppliers shortchanged me and vanished shortly without a trace. It’d be downright poetic if he were in that thing’s stomach.”

“Of course, dwarf, I will get right on that,” sounded the sullen reply.

The dragon put up a fierce fight but, in the end, it was no match for their dragon killing routine. It died and its force, spirit, or something like that returned to Corypheus.

“It is time to end this,” Ellana said.

They attacked Corypheus with renewed vigor. He was still jumping around but he was getting tired. He activated the orb and started praying to Dumat to make himself known if he had ever existed.

“Having a crisis of faith, are we?” Ellana asked and got merely a snarl in reply.

Ellana activated her mark and summoned her will into it. She called to the orb and it flew from Corypheus’ claws into her hand. Ellana turned it towards the Breach and summoned more power into the orb. There was a flash of green and the Breach was closed, again, with much less effort. The orb obviously held immense power. It stopped glowing and fell from Ellana’s hand as she turned to look at Corypheus.

“You wanted to get into the Fade?” Ellana asked, “So be it.”

Ellana used the mark to open a rift inside the darkspawn-magister. He disappeared into the green flash with a scream. Everything started shaking around them, the rock and the ruin descending back to the ground.

“Is everyone all right?” Ellana asked when the shaking had stopped.

Varric and Fenris informed her that they were alive. Ellana turned around to see Solas kneeled, holding the pieces of the broken orb with a forlorn expression.

“I am sorry, Solas, I knew how much it meant to you to save that orb,” she said.

“It was not your fault,” he replied and got slowly up.

“There is more to it than that, is there not?” Ellana asked.

“Inquisitor...” Solas said and paused as if looking for the right words, “Whatever happens, I want you to know that what we had was real.”

Ellana was confused at his words. They did not bode well. She would have asked him to expand, but she heard her name being called. The rest of the Inquisition arrived to see if they were all right. Ellana went to greet them. They hailed her as the hero.

“It was not just me, it was all of us,” she said.

Ellana smiled at Varric and Fenris, who were standing behind her, and looked for Solas. He was nowhere to be found. Ellana felt an ache in her chest. She knew that he was gone and would not come back. He had been so very ominous all the time. He had said that he would leave. Now it had happened, the minute Corypheus was conquered. Ellana supposed that he had had his reasons, though she wished that he had said a proper goodbye. Although, “what we had was real” was not the worst goodbye she had ever gotten.

“Inquisitor, what will we do now?”

“We will return to Skyhold.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I don't need luck, I've got ammo." - Grunt, ME 3
> 
> The crab man and his lizard have been whacked. Only one or two more chapters to go before this particular fic ends, though the story might continue...
> 
> Thanks for reading and all the support! I think the site may be lying to me about those numbers, they look so big... I will try to keep the shit-eating-grin off my face. You guys are awesome :)


	47. How to Make The Inquisitor Cry

There was a party at Skyhold. Ellana had no idea how Josephine had been able to arrange it so fast. The hall was full of tables that were filled with people. Everyone was enjoying food and wine and having a merry time. Ellana, Varric, and Fenris were welcomed as heroes and got so many cheers that it was obvious that people had been on the liquor for some time.

There was a table at the end of the hall, where the throne of the Inquisitor usually sat. Ellana’s friends were seated around it and gestured for her to take the chair in the middle. When she did, everyone else stood up and toasted her. She felt the tears swell in her eyes and thanked everyone wholeheartedly.

People sat down to enjoy the feast. Ellana was in a daze. She could hardly believe that the almost two-year-long mission was over. That Corypheus was finally dead and that the world was safe once again. Well, relatively safe. It was Thedas, after all, not a fairyland.

Ellana looked at all her friends and how happy they were. They deserved it, all of them. They were good people and they had fought hard to make the world a safer place. They should be rewarded. Soon they would return to their own lives, or so she assumed. You never knew. Dorian, Bull, Sera, and Varric were having a jolly and loud discussion on the battle and its finer moments. Blackwall and Fenris talked about something that Vivienne nodded politely at and Cole followed with rapt attention. Cassandra and Cullen were huddled together and spoked of something that involved a lot of nodding.

Ellana was about to focus on her food when Cassandra and Cullen got up and called for attention.

“This has been a wondrous day already but Cassandra and I would like to make it even better,” Cullen announced, “We have decided to get married and mother Giselle has kindly promised to officiate. Before you have a chance to dig in, we would like you to join us in the garden to wish us well.”

There was another cheer. People got up and followed the happy couple into the garden. Mother Giselle and the bride and groom went into the gazebo and the others stood around the garden. Even though the ceremony was so out of the blue, no one complained and there was no shortage of joy and tears. It was touching and beautiful. Cullen and Cassandra held hands and smiled the entire time. Mother Giselle spoke of love and hope. Ellana was not a fan of hers but not even she felt like huffing at Giselle’s speech.

When mother Giselle announced that they were married, the newlyweds kissed passionately and got a hurrah and enthusiastic applauds. That was when Leliana started to sing. Everyone fell silent to listen to the beautiful voice of the spymaster, who was soon to become the new divine. Ellana had never heard the song but she assumed that it was one she had learned as a bard, years ago. It brought tears to even those eyes that had been dry during the ceremony. By the end, almost everyone was sniffling. Leliana gave a bow and was rewarded with huge applauds.

The crowd returned to the tables and raised a few glasses to the health and happiness of the newlyweds.

“Inquisitor,” Cullen called.

Ellana had a terrible premonition. She hoped that she was wrong.

“Would you do us the honor of giving a speech?”

Damn it, Ellana thought, she had been right. She had dearly hoped that Cullen had forgotten his idea but it appeared that he had not. Ellana did not have the heart to refuse the man on his wedding day. Not to mention all his selfless work for the Inquisition. He was owed a speech.

Ellana got up slowly and thought furiously. There was no way she could ruin this day, so it did not matter, what she said. She tried to remember the few rules Josephine had given her concerning public speaking: Do not say that you cannot speak – people will believe you. Make an interesting start. Think of a single thing you wish to say and stick to it. She took a deep breath and prayed for the Creators, or Morrigan’s mother, to give her something intelligible to say.

“Some of you may not know this, but I am a mage,” she began and got a laugh. A drunken audience might be to her advantage.

“As a mage,” she continued, “I have some control over my dreams because I am aware of the fact that I am in the Fade. This results in me having pretty happy dreams with lots of pretty scantily dressed men.”

There was some more laughter and a few raised pints.

“In fact, my dreams are so nice that it is often a real pain to wake up. Because, let’s face it, reality is not always happy and is definitely lacking in scantily dressed men.”

There were some agreeing comments and nods.

“Not to mention that, up to this day, the world has been on the brink of disaster. The future has been obscure and the reality has been hard to face. I bet that many have felt like giving up and going to live in a cave, where they can sleep all day and be happy in their dreams. But not everyone did that. Cullen and Cassandra did not do that. They looked at the disaster that the reality was but did not hide away. They said: we want to fix it. They had hope and they believed in a better future. They worked for it tirelessly. And amidst all that, they found each other and fell in love. They found happiness in each other. They found that one person, who makes it worthwhile to wake up. In fact, you are eager to wake up, only to spend a little more time with the one person, who makes you want to be awake for the rest of your days. It does not matter, if the sky is falling. It does not matter, if a lunatic wannabe-god is threatening the entire world. As long as you are together, the rest of the world can suck it.”

There was an appreciative laugh. Cullen and Cassandra looked at each other and shared a smile.

“I would like to ask you to raise your glass to Cullen and Cassandra. May they have a long and happy life together and always rather wake up to each other than continue sleeping. And may they never again need to save the world.”

Everyone else stood up and raised their glass.

“To Cullen and Cassandra!”

They drank and sat down. Ellana grinned.

“Hey, I managed to give an entire speech without saying ‘fuck’! Oh, bugger! I will shut up now…”

Ellana blushed and sat down. She looked at the smiling couple. She had never seen them so happy. Or anyone she could see in the hall, for that matter. Even Fenris was smiling which was akin to a miracle. 

Ellana figured that some people had been surprised that the wedding had taken place the way it did but it made sense to her. Even though Cassandra was royalty and they both had some family, big weddings were not like them. Neither liked being in the center of attention. She imagined that the marriage itself, not the wedding, was the thing that mattered the most to them. Both had spent the last two years with the Inquisition and grown close to its members, so loved ones had been present in the garden. And the ceremony had been beautiful in its simplicity. It had been the perfect continuance to the perfect day.

Well, not an entirely perfect day, Ellana thought, as she remembered that Solas was gone. She would have wanted to see him happy, too, but it was not to be.

Ellana pushed Solas out of her mind and ate her meal in appreciation. It would be her last meal; she might as well enjoy it. She turned to Varric and struck up a conversation with him on his next book. It was coming out soon and would feature – surprise, surprise – her.

\--

The hall was emptying as most of the party was moving outside and into the tavern. Ellana took a deep breath and went to look for Fenris. She had done everything she needed to do, so they might get it over with.

Fenris was stuck at the doorway, being talked to by mother Giselle. His expression was turning so distressed that Ellana hurried to his rescue.

“Fenris, do you have a minute?” Ellana asked, “I have a promise to keep.”

“Of course,” he said and apologized to Giselle before following Ellana. She led the way to her room. She paused in front of the window and looked at the full moon for a while. Then she turned to face him. He stood a few paces away, looking at the sky over her shoulder.

“I appreciate your patience,” Ellana said, “You have held your end of the bargain. Now, Corypheus is dead and it is my turn. I have fulfilled my mission and I am ready to face the judgment for the wrongs I have committed.”

Ellana got unto her knees and bowed her head. She felt like she should be crying but she did not. She had left the world a better place than she had found it. She felt that she had fulfilled the mission for which she had been born. She had brought happiness and safety to many people. She could make one more feel better for giving him justice. She was ready to go.

Fenris walked closer to her, as she had expected. She waited for the sound of a sword being drawn, but it did not come. He was going for the hand though the chest, then, she thought. That would require him to get down on his knees, as well, which he did.

To Ellana’s surprise, a pair of hands grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Not roughly, but not gently, either. Ellana raised her gaze to look Fenris in the eye.

“You really are a fool,” he said with a low voice, “Did you actually think that I was going to kill you?”

“Well, yes. I thought that was, what you wanted.”

“You saved the world today.”

“Yes, so?” Ellana asked, confused, “That was not going to stop you before. What has changed since then?”

It took him a while to answer.

“Blackwall told me, what happened in the Fade,” he said, “I could never agree with your decision to leave Hawke to die but I… Blackwall said that Corypheus is responsible. After some consideration, I had to agree with him. Corypheus is responsible for Hawke’s death. And he is dead – you killed him, thus taking the revenge which I longed for. It makes no sense for me to butcher coldheartedly the hero of Thedas, who – despite being a witch – is not an evil person.”

At this point, the tears started to fall. Ellana had no idea, how many times she had cried that day, but it was a lot. It seemed to confuse Fenris.

“Why are you crying?”

“I just… I cannot believe…” 

Ellana was trying to find something to say but the tears kept falling as she smiled at the confounded warrior. She was lacking words, so she swung her hands out and crushed him into a tight hug. He tensed for a minute but relaxed after some time and put his hands hesitantly and loosely on her back.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You are thanking me for not killing you?” Fenris asked next to Ellana’s ear.

“Yes, fool, I know.”

“Good.”

“I am not sorry that I stole your armor, you know,” Ellana said.

“I knew it was you!” Fenris said and pulled out of the hug, “I still want it back, witch.”

“There are some things that can never be had…”

“Witch!”

“Fine,” Ellana caved, “I will ask Dagna, what she did with it.”

They got up. Ellana opened the door to the balcony and listened for a moment.

“It sounds like the party is just getting started,” she said, “They may still have some of that better wine you like so much.”

“What of it?” Fenris looked at her suspiciously.

“I like that wine, too,” Ellana said, “And I feel like celebrating tonight. I’ll race you for it!”

Ellana jumped down from the balcony with a laugh and heard Fenris cursing her as she changed into an owl and flew into the tavern. She was already on her second glass by the time an angry Fenris had made his way onto the counter through the mob. He cursed her again, passionately and in several languages, and talked of making a poor decision. Ellana just grinned.

\--

It had been about a month since the defeat of Corypheus. Ellana was getting tired… More than tired of the endless line of visitors, who wanted to slap her on the back and kiss her ass on account of killing the crab man. She would have imagined that since she had done her job, people would leave her alone. She had been gravely mistaken. They just kept coming and talking and thanking and bowing and…

Ellana felt that her friends had had much more fun. They had mostly been drinking, talking, drilling, and messing around Skyhold, while she had had to sit on her throne and listen to the endless prattle. She was growing restless and often planned her escape from all the idiocy. She had even considered dressing Loranil in her clothes, slapping a wig on him, and letting him suffer for her. He deserved it for all the jokes he kept making of her misery.

“Inquisitor, I have some news.”

“Should you not be on your way to remake the Chantry, Leliana?” Ellana asked the Nightingale.

“Later. As I said, I have some news,” Leliana replied, “I assume you remember the templar assassin, who attacked you in your room?”

“I have been attacked so many times over the past two years that I cannot recall every attempt but that does ring a bell,” Ellana said, “I take it that you have found the ones responsible?”

“Yes, I have. As we previously thought, they are a fringe group of the Chantry, if you can even call them that anymore. They call themselves ‘The Righteous Fist of Justice’.”

“You are pulling my leg.”

“I am completely serious,” Leliana assured her, “They even have a motto: ‘The Fist will fall, again and again, until Justice is satisfied’.”

Ellana burst out in laughter.

“Oh, sweet Creators,” she said in between chuckles, “That is what happens when people are celibate for too long.”

Leliana looked at her with a small smile on her face. Ellana controlled her laughter and refocused on the issue.

“I am sorry,” she said, “You were saying?”

“The Righteous Fist of Justice is a small group but it has been active even after you killed Corypheus,” Leliana said, “My scouts have found their base of operations. I can mark it on your map and you can go there as soon as you wish. You should tell your friends, when you go. Many of them will want to join you, yes?”

“I think that you are right. I remember hearing some comments to that fact,” Ellana said, “Thank you, Leliana. We will leave tomorrow. I love that there is finally something else to do besides sit here and listen to people praise my mighty deeds. It is getting old.”

The rogue smiled and left. Ellana grinned in anticipation of the change in her schedule.

\--

“So, this is where we’ll find the Fist of Justice?” Varric asked.

“The Righteous Fist of Justice,” Ellana said.

“Of course,” Varric said, “I still think that you’re messing with me about that motto. It can’t be real.”

“Leliana said that it was.”

“I believe her,” Bull said, “Those single-mindedly religious types are too righteous to think dirty.”

“Or maybe,” Sera suggested, “They know that people will think that, right? So they choose a nasty motto and get away with it because everyone thinks that they’re simple.”

“You may have a point,” Dorian said.

“I don’t understand,” Cole said, “Fist is powerful and Justice is good.”

“See? Cole could come up with something like that,” Sera said, “Not regular people.”

“I doubt that ‘regular people’ is, what we are dealing with, my dear,” Vivienne said.

“Regular, crazy people, maybe,” Blackwall suggested.

“I want to see, who they are, and ask, what they want,” Cassandra said, “Maybe they can be persuaded.”

“They tried to kill the Inquisitor,” Dorian said, “I, myself, don’t feel like talking.”

“A lot of people have tried to kill the Inquisitor, mage,” Fenris pointed out, “Are you going to kill all of them?”

“Most of them are already dead,” Bull replied.

“As are these people,” Ellana said hollowly, when they arrived at the camp of the Righteous Fist of Justice.

They looked around in silence. The whole group, everyone at the camp, was dead. It had been a slaughter. There had been no mercy.

They dismounted to watch the area more closely. It was obvious that magic was responsible. Who could be behind this? Some group of mages, maybe? They had to be very powerful.

“He was here,” Cole said, “He was angry and sad. I think he still is. Killing didn’t help.”

“What are you talking about, kid?” Varric asked, “Who was here?”

“A single person cannot possibly have done this, can they?” Cassandra asked.

Ellana walked a little further. She had seen something white in the middle of the blood and bodies. When she got closer, she saw that it was a note. It has been preserved by magic in a way that was unknown to her. She did recognize the neat handwriting, though, and it took her breath away.

The note said: “Dareth shiral, vhenan. Ar lath ma.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...aaaaaaand done!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, kudos, comments, and any other kind of support! It has been fun :)
> 
> The main story ends here. However - I am planning on doing two alternate endings, one with the Solas romance and another with the Fenris romance. That way you can choose the one you prefer and pretend the other does not exist. I am planning on using the DLCs, Descent (Fenris) and Trespasser (Solas) to be more precise. Since The Descent takes place first, I will start with the Fenris romance. If you want to see the Inquisitor end up with Solas, please, wait. I will make a series for this story and the endings so that they can all be found from the same place.


End file.
